A/N:
I really didn't want The Girly Man to soil herself, so I wrote her this.
Hehe.
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RIN.
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We love her, right?
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"No."
"Akito! How did you bust in here?"
"Just like Rin busted her chest."
"…Oooh, burn."
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"Rin!"
"What, Haru."
"AKITO BURNED ME."
"…"
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So anyways, back to Rin.
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In many ways, she is ideal and perfect and cute… and witty.
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But in other ways, all she is a tender piece of choice cut steak mince.
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"Actually Haru, that's you."
"Sorry Rin. (shame)"
"What did that comment even mean?"
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Gasp.
I shall never tell her.
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In many ways, Rin uses too much deodorant.
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"WHAT?"
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But then again, maybe she doesn't use enough. In her pants.
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"Haru, what have I told you about my 'female smell'? I can't change it!"
"Yeah, well, cows have that bad odor and I keep it under control!"
"…"
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Okay… so anyway, back to Rin.
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"(pokes Rin's back)"
"LAY OFF MY GIRL, AL ELRIC!"
"…Dooode."
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Rin can sometimes be sharp and have bits of glass in her back, which hurts me when I molest her.
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But only when Akito shoves her from a window.
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"And when Akito does, it's sealed and secured by the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval."
"…Ren?"
"Yes?"
"WOULD YA GO AWAY?"
"No."
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Foolish mortal!
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In ways, Rin reminds me of a summers night, on a beach, with candles, chains and whips.
But in other ways, she reminds me of a hairy, unshaved back with lots of pimples and manure smell.
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"Haru, stop insulting me and get to the damn point already!"
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Rin looks and feels like a scrap booking kit, with her bits and pieces to fondle and stroke.
But when she wakes up in the morning, she looks like a suit of armor. Gross.
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"I take offence!"
"Sorry, Rin!"
"I take offense too!"
"Go away, Al!"
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That damn Alphonse. (Is that even his name?)
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Rin feels like one of those 'Touch 'n' Feel' play books you Mum gives you when you turn five as an easy alternative to taking you to the zoo because she'd much rather sit in a hair salon with her bowling buddies and rant about Brad Pitt and how delicious his ass is in those silver jeans be bought from (insert where you live here) to visit (insert your name here) on a special surprise "LETS PUT YOU IN A MOVIE" extra shoot for his latest movie called "I shot Your Mum.".
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"I don't know what to think, right now."
"About what's inside my pants?"
"No Haru. What's inside your head."
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Rin's mobile phone ringtone reminds me of sex on the beach; maybe because the song is called "Sex on the Beach". I like to sex on the beach when Sex on the Beach comes on.
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Rin refuses to comment until I start making sense.
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"IT'LL BE NEVER!"
"Go back to your story, Hiro."
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So I shall wrap this up here.
Keep your knickers skid-mark free, Brenna-san!
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A/N:
Lol, that was cool.
I bet you didn't know those things Haru thought about Rin.