A/N:
Bleh! I quoted this off someone's profile on a website.
Squee.
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Today, a group of us were playing a game.
It was called; "Name Something Sexy" and it involved naming things that are sexy.
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"I say Yuki."
"Shut up Kyo, no one cares for your homosexual opinions."
"…(mourns)"
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Hanajima said that she was sexy.
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"My waves say… that I am the sexy one…"
"Yeah, well, my pants say otherwise!"
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Stupid Hana.
Who does she think she is?
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"I think I'm sexy."
"Shut up Yuki, no one cares for your stuck up opinions."
"…(sits in corner with Kyo)"
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After Kakeru and his 20 minute long babble on what he thought was sexy…
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"I mean, what I find sexy could be completely different to you. We all have different tastes, different desires and different opinions on woman and what makes them good, bad and ugly. The thing I am thinking of that is sexy isn't even a person, nor is it alive. Well, it could be alive and we just don't know it, but I'm sure that it isn't. No people, this thing is not Yun, because Yun happens to be sulking in the corner with Orangey over there, which makes him- and Orangey- both living. Now, I'm not saying they're living because they can sulk, I am saying they are living because they can breathe, eat, sleep and talk. But the most bodily function they can do it masturbate. Oh yes. If you can't do that, then you certainly aren't human. I mean, people who can't ARE human, just not humans of high sexual natures and there is nothing wrong with that apart from the fact that-."
"GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!"
"I think Machi is sexy."
"…"
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…It was my turn.
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Authoress Girl would like to point out that she just sat here and read that through and laughed at the raw idiocy of it.
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"I think Pokemon are sexy," I said.
"WHAT." Everyone said.
"I said, I think Pokemon are sexy," I said.
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Maybe I should just get to the point? I don't wanna be like that stupid Manabe.
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"Pokemon are sexy because they can describe out sex lives."
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At this point, Hana stood up, flailed and sat down again without a word.
Doode.
She needs some medication.
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"I don't get it." (Kakeru)
"It's because your dumb."
"Now, I don't mean I don't get it because I'm dumb, I mean I don't get it because you're not making sense. I'm sure no one else in this room really gets what you're meaning either, which is totally okay because you do drugs and all. It's expected, right? Right. Maybe you should go to one of those clinics and get a bit of help before you start making less sense than you already do. If that is even possible. I've talked to Yun; he says that you're a homosexual. That's a pretty weird thing to be; a druggie-homo. Not saying that I'm a homophobic or anything, I just think that if you were normal you'd make more sense when you speak."
"…Manabe, please. Shut the hell up."
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Once Manabe was quiet, I continued.
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"Let's all describe our sex lives with the moves of Pokemon."
"Woot!" (Kyo, now not in corner and harder than a rock.)
"…Go sit back down Kyo. Or go back to your story. You're here on a good behaviour bond."
"I'm sorry master. I'll be good."
"Good whore. Have a cookie."
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Yun decided to go first, because he's a quick thinker.
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"Okay… well… when I wanna give someone head, first I Lick, then I Bite, then I Suck and then I get Stringshot all over me."
"…(claps)"
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Wow. Yuki is too horny for my pants.
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Authoress Girl would like to point out that she actually had to turn on her Game Boy for the first time in six months to look for some sexual sounding Pokemon moves.
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"I'm next!"
"Okay Kyo, calm down."
"WOOOOOOT."
"…Kyo is a preppy poser."
"Nuu. (emo)"
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"When I am sooking because of Yuki…"
"Yes?"
"Rage, Fury Swipe, Cut and Gloom."
"Kyo, Gloom is a Pokemon. And this isn't sex. It's cutting your wrists."
"IT COUNTS."
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I went next.
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"Harden, Pound, Stringshot and Minimize."
"…(flabbergasted)"
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YEAH!
I RULE AT POKEMON SECKS!
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"No, I do!"
"KYO, DO I HAVE TO SEND YOU BACK TO REN?"
"No master… (sad)"
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"I wish to have a turn."
"Okay Hana. Go then!"
"Astonish… Constrict… Pound… Stringshot…"
"Is that about rape, by any chance?" (Kakeru! And he didn't speak forever!)
"Yes…"
"HAWT."
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In the end, Kakeru DID speak forever.
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"Your turn."
"Well, my four Pokemon moves are quite obsolete; they probably won't make any sense to small minded people like you, but to me, they include the finest of sexual tango's, such as The Safe Sex two step, The Slippery Entry conga line and not to mention the Rabid Stampede fox trot! I'm sure I'm making littler and littler sense as my voice echo's across the room with my unheard of idea's and supposedly idiotic theories. Oh, I'll show you when I tell you the greatest, but sexual Pokemon innuendo that you have ever heard! You'll be so astounded that every single one of you will want to get in my pants and that includes you Orangey! That's right! You cannot resist the touch of my hands against your stomach, caressing your nipples with my fingers, mmm! You just live for me, don't you? Just like Yun used to before he met that stupid sister of mine Machi. I will never forgive myself for introducing them on that fateful day some time last year in the middle on manga's 16 and possibly 18. I wouldn't know because, as a matter of fact, I am an inanimate object created only to serve no purpose except come out of the tip of a ball point pen. Oh, woe is I! From the day I was created I was born into still motion as I never got to feature in the slightly seductive anime series! I feel like Rin and Kureno, I do! But, it's not like you guys care, right?"
"…R-Right…?"
"And so concludes my epic tale."
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Kakeru never told us what his Pokemon moves were.
BECAUSE KYO AND YUKI KILLED HIM.
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"You idiot! You babble too much!"
"Yeah! I was never friends with you anyway!"
"(dead)"
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And so the day ended fairly peacefully.
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RIN!
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A/N:
Wow.
I made Kakeru sound like a monkey on estrogen in the middle of gossip time in a beauty salon in France on a Friday afternoon.