Sorry for the delay folks. It's been a nasty week so far. This was also the hardest chapter. It's a little gooey, and I don't do gooey so don't get used to it. As Josephine March used to say, "I rather crave violence." I need the conflict—the angst. Hope you like it. If you catch any grammatical errors, let me know and I'll fix them. Have at it people.

Ch. 8

It wasn't fair, really. Here he was thinking that somehow he should feel guilty. Didn't he just take advantage of her? But she would see that as condescending. She didn't need him to watch out for her. She wasn't some damsel in distress. And truth be told, he couldn't resist her.

The memory of events of the past hour hardly seemed real. So much so that he refused to go to sleep, if this was a dream, he didn't want to wake from it. So Castle sat there and watched her sleep their legs tangled and her face peaceful on his chest. Kate Beckett was naked in the bed with him. He couldn't believe it.

That was when he lost the battle. He wasn't sure if it was the removal of her shirt that sealed the deal or her assurance that she would have no regrets. Either way, Kate Beckett might as well have doused the mattress with gasoline and lit a match. The passion she ignited in him was unstoppable. His entire body flushed at the memory. It was like coming home, being with her. He rolled his eyes at his own pun, but in all seriousness, when he had mentioned yin and yang to Kate all those months ago, he never dreamed that they would fit together like that.

Ethan started to stir, so Rick very gently extricated himself from Kate. It was difficult, because that was where his body wanted to be. He was going to have to be careful to keep that in check; he was not ever the smothering type and he was sure she would have none of it. He just couldn't get enough of her. What is wrong with me?

Castle felt around for his boxers and jeans, but had no success finding the boxers. His memory replayed Kate removing them, finishing the act with her feet. They must be deep under the covers and he wasn't going after them right now. Later. He smiled to himself. Hopefully she would stay asleep; he was looking forward to waking her. Putting on the jeans commando style (and being very careful) he washed his hands in the bathroom and returned for Ethan who was still just stirring.

It was six in the morning and the light of the sun was creeping over the horizon. The morning star hadn't shown itself yet, but the room was lightening. Rick and Ethan, who was still asleep but getting hungry, made their way to the kitchen. Feeding went flawlessly without any spitting up. Rick wondered if the baby was Cupid incarnate and had orchestrated the spit up incident earlier in an effort to bring them together. Cupid? Come on! If this is what one night of sleep deprivation does to you, then it should be illegal for new parents to operate heavy machinery.

He held the baby to his chest and swayed. He walked over to her pictures once again. He could see her all over the world with friends and family members. There was a picture of her, she couldn't have been more than seven, that he was sure was taken in France somewhere, a place he had been before. There was a walkway with those gothic arches outside. The courtyard in the foreground was amazingly green and she was wearing red, of course, which popped in the picture. She wasn't looking at the camera, just holding onto the column and reaching for the next one. Mont St. Michel. He was almost positive. The abbey that rested on a peninsula between Normandy and Brittany was surrounded by water daily with the tides. He would have to ask her if he was right. That was one of his favorite childhood pictures of her yet.

His eyes moved to another picture. Avery's wedding. It was the three sisters looking like they could take on the world. Avery, of course, was stunning in her wedding dress. It must have been winter because her dress had long sleeves and Kate and Maggie were wearing velvet. Kate was a teenager, obviously, but she had definitely bloomed. She was already taller than her sisters. Her dark hair was flowing past her shoulders. Stunning, even then.

Then there was the picture of Maggie's wedding; it looked to be spring. Again they were all just incredibly beautiful, but Maggie was exquisite with her auburn hair pulled up with the veil and cascading back down over her shoulder. Kate and Avery were wearing designer navy blue sleeveless dresses. This time Kate's hair was pulled up making her look much older. I'll bet that drove her father crazy. He hated it when Alexis looked older than she was. In the picture, Avery was pregnant and Castle could see Jacob in the edge of the picture his hand was resting over her swollen belly. That sparked a feeling he couldn't place…envy?

He didn't want Avery and he didn't envy Jacob, but he wanted to be a part of this family. This family that seemed to have so much misfortune, but they were tighter than ever. That explained why Kate was so protective of her private life. But she was letting him in. He smiled. Looking down and Ethan, he noted that sleep had overtaken him again. He carried him to the bedroom and deposited him in the bassinet.

Castle looked over Kate. She was lying on her back, the bed linens pulled up under her armpits. Feeling his arousal build, Castle thought, Time for Kate's wake up call. He took off his jeans and slid into bed next to her. He started kissing her face and worked his way down pulling the sheet off of her slowly. She groaned and put her hand in his hair. His hand was ahead of his mouth and even though his lips left her body to say, "Good morning," his hand was working its way south.

"Good morning to you too," she said huskily. She was enjoying this more than usual. Castle was extremely attentive to her, and she wondered if he was this way with everyone. His hand found its destination and she bit her lip. He kissed her again and her hands went traveling as well. Their exploration of each other was lazy and sensual, taking the time to get to know each other. It was very different from the first encounter when things were fiery and surreal. Now the room was light and they could see each other. Last night had been all about touch; there was no eye contact—they couldn't see, and they were quiet so they wouldn't wake the baby. They were still somewhat quiet, but there was communication through their eyes and expressions.

At some point, Kate reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. She grabbed a condom and rolled back over to him. She looked up as if to try to remember something. Then she sat up with a gasp. She held the condom out to him.

"I didn't…earlier… Did you…. Oh my God. What is wrong with me?" She covered her face with her hands.

At first Rick didn't get it. It didn't occur to him that anything was wrong until she sat up. Then he paid attention. A condom. Oh God. We didn't... Shit.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I never forget that. Ever. Oh God, Kate. I knew it. I knew you were going to have regrets. I just never predicted this."

Kate's shoulders started to shake. Great. She's crying. I made her cry. Dammit. Then he heard a sound that didn't sound like crying. Kate flopped back down on the bed and laughed out loud. "This is funny?" He's trying not to pay attention to the fact that she's naked.

Kate shakes her head still laughing, "No. No, I don't think it's funny." She continues to laugh and Rick can't help himself, he starts to laugh too. When they finally stop laughing they are in each other's arms.

"We're stupid." Kate said. "We're stupid like teenagers."

"No. I have a teenager at home; she'd never let this happen."

Kate shook her head. "Alexis doesn't count. She's an old soul. No. We're like insane, hormonal, crazy, stupid teenagers."

"Oh. Yesss." Rick is nodding his head. He looks like he just figured out a case. "It's the baby."

"The baby." Kate is wearing the look, the one that tells him that his theory is the most implausible thing she's ever heard.

"You said it yourself. We're hormonal, like teenagers. That baby turned us into hormonal mush."

"That's ridiculous. I've held lots of newborn babies. I have never had the urge to 'jump someone's bones' after I've held a baby."

Suddenly Rick realized that they were still naked, and, more importantly, he still wanted her. They would just use protection from now on. He leaned down to nibble Kate's ear. "Yes, but you didn't love them." She pulled her head away from his and looked him in the eye.

"You said we. You said us. So if this is about love then it's not just me. You forgot just as much as I did. Maybe you love me." She looked very serious, even angry. He almost bought it.

"Maybe I do." He leaned in to her and kissed her, gently at first, but it quickly escalated. He knew it was true. They were in love. Maybe even like stupid teenagers. He worshipped her and he spent the next hour and a half showing her exactly how he felt—with protection.

Right when Ethan woke up, deciding he was hungry, the phone rang. Kate made a snap decision. "You get the phone. I'll get Ethan."

Walking stark naked into the living room, Rick checked the caller ID before answering. "Good morning, Avery." He walked back to the bedroom where Kate had found her tank and shorts and was changing Ethan in his bed. Ethan was objecting loudly.

"Hey, how's it going over there? It sounds loud."

"Ethan is not crazy about the diaper change." Rick pulled back the covers on the bed looking for his boxers. "Ah hah! Found them! Hold on one second Avery."

He set the phone down and slipped his boxers on. Grabbing the phone he headed for the kitchen to make the bottle. "I'm back."

"What did you find?"

Rick was confused. "What?"

"Before you said 'Ah hah. I found them.' What did you find?"

Lie. Lie fast. "The baby wipes. I found the wipes. Kate needed them."

"Oh. Well, anyway, Johanna and I are on our way over to make you guys breakfast."

"You are? That's so sweet."

"Yeah well, I figured that last night couldn't have been easy, so the least I can do since I'm not taking care of any of the children is make someone breakfast. And since its Saturday, Justin is making chocolate chip pancakes at their house, so they don't need me. Johanna is coming to see Ethan."

"Great. I just realized I'm starving. When will you be here?"

"We're about ten minutes away I think."

Uh oh. "Okay. We'll see you then." Rick hung up the phone and sprinted into the bedroom almost colliding into Kate and Ethan.

"Hey! Watch out!"

"Oops. Sorry. I need a shirt." He gushed as he handed her the bottle. She put the bottle in Ethan's mouth. Rick grabbed his jeans and threw them on. Then he went around the room, picking up all of the trash and went across the hall into the bathroom to throw it away. When he came back he started to make the bed.

Kate shook her head and knit her eyebrows together. "What are you doing?"

He looked up at her. "Your sister is coming over to make us breakfast. I need a shirt. She'll be here in less than ten minutes."

"How nice." She looked at him again. "You don't have to clean for her."

"I'm disposing of any evidence that we had sex."

Kate smiled and shook her head. "You don't have to. I'm a big girl, Castle. My sister knows I'm not a virgin. I'll probably tell her anyway."

He didn't slow down. "She's bringing Johanna."

"What? Well, why didn't you say that first?" She handed him Ethan and the bottle and went to the chest of drawers. She pulled out a shirt, yoga pants, and a bra for herself and squatted down to the bottom drawer to get a shirt for Rick. The first one she pulled out and handed to him had "FBI" on the front. When he refused to take it from her she looked up.

"Never. mind." He said. "I won't wear one."

"Stop being such a baby." She threw that shirt back in there and pulled out a navy blue NYPD t-shirt. "Better?"

He took the shirt and threw it over his shoulder. "Don't use that as a burp cloth, or you'll be wearing the FBI shirt."

When Avery and Johanna arrived, the staging was complete. Kate threw a pillow and blanket on the couch for good measure. Castle was sitting on the couch feeding Ethan when Kate answered the door.

"Hello."

"Hey, so how's it going?" Avery asked with a little more question behind the voice. She knew last night's breakdown was going to stir the pot between Kate and Rick. Of course, she had no idea how far things would go.

Johanna came bursting in "Aunt Katie!" She wrapped her arms around her Aunt and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then she leaned in and smelled her neck. "Are you okay?"

Kate tilted her head curiously. "I'm fine, why?"

"No reason. You smell a little different, that's all."

Kate looked at her and narrowed her eyes. "Johanna Beckett. You've been reading too many Stephanie Meyer books. Stay away from my neck."

"Fine. Looks like someone beat me to it anyway." Kate's eyes widened. "Where's Ethan?"

Eager to change the subject, Kate pointed to the living room. "Castle has him in there. Feeding time."

"Oh! Yay!" She excitedly ran into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch right next to Castle. She just cooed at the baby and Castle was thrilled to watch the exchange.

Kate and Avery went to the kitchen. "There is something on your neck." Then in typical Beckett form: "Is there coffee?"

"Oh, wow. I haven't made it yet."

"You make the coffee, Katie, and I'm going to the bathroom. When I come back you're telling me everything."

Kate started the coffee and watched the interaction between Johanna and Castle from the doorway. He had just handed Ethan off to Jo and she was instantly smitten with the infant.

Avery came back to the kitchen so Kate turned and followed her in. She readied herself for the barrage of questions Avery was sure to ask. Avery poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I hope you don't mind, but I threw a lot of toilet paper in your trash can. I didn't want Johanna to go in and see condoms in there."

"Oops. Sorry."

"So you slept together?"

"Yeah." Kate blushed.

"Do you think that was the best thing to do? I mean, Kate, I know how you feel, but don't you think you should date first? I can't believe you let him seduce you like that."

"Actually, I seduced him."

"Kate!"

Kate couldn't help but smile to herself. Avery smiled and shook her head. Kate deserved to be happy. She was sure of that much.

"So? How was it? Judging by the contents of the trash I'm guessing it was more than once."

Kate sighed. "It was…really…intense. I knew that Castle and I would be explosive together. I wasn't wrong. Worries me though. What if it's just a flash in the pan? Like, Bam! Done." and she made an explosion motion with her hands.

"'Bam?"

"You know, Bam! Finished. All over before it even starts. You and Jacob. I mean you were together for seventeen years. Did it ever…?"

"Did it ever, 'Bam!' Katie, Jacob and I were never explosive. We loved each other deeply, but there really wasn't that fiery, passionate, insatiable desire for each other that I think you're describing. You should probably ask Maggie. She and Justin have been together longer. They always had a better sex life than we did, not that ours was bad, just different. And they were teenagers when they started dating; I remember they couldn't get enough of each other. Didn't ever want to be apart. Who would have thought crazy, hormonal teenagers could stay together for twenty years?"

Kate's eyes grew wide at Avery's words and she choked on her coffee.

"You okay? What happened?"

"Nothing. Your teenager statement made me think of something Castle said."

Avery gave her a questioning look that said "spill."

Kate took a deep breath. She was going to catch it for this one she was sure. "We're minus one condom."

Avery thought about this for a second before her eyes widened. "Kate, what were you thinking?"

"I think the point was that I wasn't thinking. I was feeling. I forgot to…"

"If you need a reminder of why you need to think first, she's in the other room."

Castle came around the corner. From the looks of it he interrupted a pretty intense discussion about something. "Sorry, I'll come back later."

"No, No, we're done." Kate said, looking right at Avery. "I'll go check on Ethan and Jo." Kate left the room.

"Really, I'm sorry I interrupted. I just smelled coffee." Castle said to Avery. He walked over and poured himself a cup. Turning around he could see that Avery was glaring at him. She told her.

"Look, Avery, I tried. I tried not to touch her. But I can't resist her. I can't tell her 'No.'" He couldn't help but smile.

He sat his mug on the counter after taking a sip. The writer in him couldn't help but notice the effect the last twenty-four hours was having on Kate's sister. Avery's hair was all knotted up in a scrunchie. She wasn't wearing make-up, and instead of her usual polished look she wore a long sleeve NYC ING marathon t-shirt and black soccer shorts with flip-flops. If Castle weren't so obsessed with her sister, he would have found her irresistible as well.

She smacked his arm like she could read his mind. "How could you?"

"How could I what?" Surely she didn't know he was thinking about her.

"How could you have sex with my sister without protection?" she was whispering now. "Have you lost your mind?"

He had no trouble answering her with a straight face. "Yes. I can't explain it any other way than to say that I couldn't think."

"I should have seen it coming." She muttered. "I shouldn't have told her to let you stay."

"Okay. Number one: You're not a mind reader, Avery. Even though sometimes I wonder. Number two: With all that she was going through last night, wild horses couldn't have dragged me away. I care about her. I'm going to do everything I can not to hurt her. She didn't need to be alone last night. And except for that one oversight, there isn't anything about the past 24 hours that I would change."

"I just…with the proposal, her being in love with you and then this thing with Emma, then she keeps Ethan, which I'm sure is playing with her hormones, it's like…it's like the perfect storm."

"You know she's going out with him tonight to tell him 'No.' Did you see the ring?"

"You know I'm her sister, right? I knew about the proposal before it happened. Will talked to me about it. I'm the one who told him not to do it in public. Yes, she showed me the ring.

That was the same night she told me how she felt about you."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her how you were when we found you in the waiting room of the hospital. That I knew you cared about her then. That you kept apologizing, saying, 'I should have seen it coming. I should have gotten to her sooner. I should have stayed with her.' Nothing we said to you made anything better.

And I also told her you were a player, that it would be difficult to make anything stick long-term." Avery held his gaze. "If you hurt her, I'm sending Maggie after you. She's lethal with words, but her bite is worse."

Rick nodded. "I have no intention of…"

"I don't give a rat's ass about your intentions. Make sure it doesn't happen."

He nodded. "I think I'll go back in there, now."

"Can you send Johanna in here to help me with breakfast?"

"Sure."

"And Castle?"

"Yes?"

"Don't think for one minute that I don't appreciate what you're doing now."

"You're welcome." He sent Johanna back in and took her spot while Kate held the baby.

Ethan drifted to sleep right before breakfast was ready. Castle and Kate took him to the bedroom to lay him down. Kate took a deep breath. There was a smile in her eyes, "She gave you hell, huh?" He nodded.

"It was well deserved."

Kate shook her head. "She's always been overprotective."

"I'll bet your career choice drove her nuts."

"You have no idea."

"Oh, I'm getting one." He leaned in to her and kissed her gently.

"Do I need to close the door, or are you guys going to come up for food?" Johanna quipped.

Kate and Rick quickly pulled apart at the sound of the child's voice. Castle looked at Kate. "She has your sass," he deadpanned.

During breakfast Avery made it clear that it was her intention to stay until Emma's parents arrived, so Rick took that as his cue to leave. Kate followed him into the hall.

"I'll see you later? Tomorrow."

Kate looked at him and nodded. This was the first time in twenty-four hours that things felt awkward. Castle leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the lips, but he lingered too long and suddenly her hands were clenched in his hair and he was gripping her shirt. Stop. You have to stop now. He let her go and she released him. He turned and walked away before anything else could happen.