There's good news and there's bad news… (I told you I like conflict. Consider yourselves warned).

Ch. 9

Kate was getting ready for her "date" with Will. She didn't want to call it a date, but couldn't think of another word for what it was. She was dumping him, yes, and it wasn't going to be easy. Will had been good to her. He loved her, and even though they no longer wanted the same things she still did not feel good about hurting him.

She put on jeans and a nice top. Kate didn't know where they were going, but she didn't want to go anywhere fancy.

The apartment was quiet, almost too quiet. After Castle left, Kate, Avery and Johanna had a good time playing with Ethan. Emma's parents showed up shortly after noon, and Kate and Avery packed Ethan up. Kate threw all of the soiled items in a plastic bag for them. She found Castle's shirt and decided she would wash it later when she came home. Kate missed Ethan, but she missed Castle more. She needed a distraction from what she was about to do. She went to the sound dock and turned on her favorite playlist. Then she started to clean up. She saw a piece of paper stuck in between the couch cushions and grabbed it to toss.

Looking at the paper, she started to blush. I wonder if Castle saw this. No way, if he had seen it, he would have said something. He couldn't resist teasing her about something like this. She didn't even need to read over the list to know that she was doing the right thing. She "round filed" the list and moved on.

It was stunning how much things had changed in the past twenty-four hours. It was difficult to believe that she had been considering saying, "Yes," to Will. She didn't love him, and she did want a child, that was important to her. Sure, Kate didn't know that Richard Castle was "the one." No guarantees he would marry her. And who knows if he wants anymore children either. He was great with Ethan, even better than Kate, but Alexis is sixteen. Castle was almost at the finish line with raising her (or was she raising him?), so Kate didn't know how he felt. But she was sure that she wanted to know.

There was a knock, so Kate answered the door; Will was standing there smiling at her. He brought her roses. "Hi," he said, stepping over the threshold. He was wearing a jacket, but no tie and it wasn't a suit, so Kate felt okay about what she was wearing. Will leaned in and gave her a kiss. So strange, she thought, I want to back away—like I'm cheating on Castle. Weird. She could feel that Will wanted to intensify the kiss, but she broke it off.

"I should put these in water."

"Okay."

As she grabbed a vase from under the sink, she asked, "Where are we going?"

"I thought we'd go to Antonio's."

Oh no. He thinks I'm going to say, "Yes." Antonio's was their restaurant. It was where they'd had their first date—twice. It was where he'd asked her to go with him to Boston. It was going to be where she broke his heart. "Okay. Just let me get my bag."

Kate walked swiftly into the bedroom and grabbed the white box off of the bedside table. Illogically, she peeked inside to make sure the ring was still there. Then she threw it in her bag and headed out.

The restaurant was crowded, but somehow they managed a quiet booth in the corner. The wait staff knew them well and entertained them with some small talk. The food was excellent as was the wine, as usual, but Kate was stunned that Will did not seem to be picking up on the body language she was giving him. His intentions were clear: he wanted this to be the most romantic night. Then he ventured into territory Kate really didn't want to visit: the baby.

"So, how was it yesterday? A baby that little doesn't do much, right?"

"No. Eat, sleep and poop mostly. There were moments when he would look around and coo. I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking."

"Did you get any sleep at all? Did Avery come and help you out?"

"I slept some last night." Last night. Her spine and belly tingled just thinking of last night with Castle. "Avery came over this morning with Johanna; they made breakfast and stayed until Emma's parents got there."

"Emma? Oh, right, Emma." He had actually forgotten? "Yeah, how's she doing?"

"She's in quite a bit of pain, but she's awake now."

"That was quite a big favor they asked of you to take off of work and watch their newborn infant over night. I hope they know what a sacrifice it was for you."

Fire raged in her. Emma almost died and all he can think about was her sacrifice? "It's what friends do, Will. And really it was no problem at all." Time to get this show on the road. "Actually, Castle came over and helped with Ethan, so I wasn't alone in it."

Will's face became stony. "Castle? How did Castle know?"

"I took Ethan with me to the precinct yesterday to ask for the day off, and Castle offered to help."

"How long was he there?"

"Oh, about twenty four hours."

"He was at your apartment for twenty-four hours. You needed his help the whole time?"

"He left after breakfast this morning when Avery was there. And, no, I didn't necessarily need his 'help' the entire time, but it was nice to have the company."

"I could have…"

"No. Remember? You said 'No.' Will, you've made it abundantly clear how you feel about children and babies. Why would I have asked you for help?"

"I would have been there if I knew…"

"What? If you knew that Castle was going to be there? So what's next? If I tell you that I really want to have kids and Castle is willing to father them, then all of the sudden you would be willing to as well?"

"You really want kids, don't you?"

"Yes. Yes I do." The anger left her voice. This was it. She opened up her bag and pulled out the white box. She set it in front of him. "I can't marry you, Will."

"All because of children? I mean I know we just talked about this, but I love you Kate. If having children is what would make you happy, then we can work that out. I can't see throwing away our relationship over whether or not we have children."

"It's not the only reason. I…" How do I do this? This is going to really hurt him. Think about what Castle said. It's about being fair. He deserves someone who will love him. "I'm not in love with you, Will."

"Kate…"

"I'm sorry. I tried; I did love you before, but now…. I just can't. It isn't fair. It's not fair to me or to you. You deserve better; you deserve someone who will love you back. I'm just not her."

"I can't believe this. You told me you loved me."

"And I was trying to."

"Trying to? What is that? Am I so horrible that you have to force yourself to love me?"

"No. You aren't horrible. I'm horrible. I'm the horrible person here. All this time I thought I was giving 'us' a chance, and now I realize that I've just made everything worse." Kate had a lump in her throat. She didn't realize this would be so difficult.

"It's Castle isn't it? He's the reason you're dumping me. He poisoned you against me."

"Nonsense. He didn't poison me against you, but he did make me see what I wanted for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, Will. I'm very, very sorry." She stood and walked out the door. The tears didn't spill over cheeks until she was safely inside the cab. She gave the cabbie Castle's address; she didn't want to be alone.

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When Castle left Kate's apartment he felt as light as a feather. I slept with Kate Beckett. Too good to be true, and yet I'm wearing one of her T-shirts. He remembered the movie "Turner and Hooch" where Turner is talking with his partner who accuses him of "humping the vet." Castle cringed at the verbiage. Turner then explains that he had a "religious experience" with said vet. A religious experience. That was what it was like with Kate Beckett.

Castle went to his apartment and changed clothes. He was going shopping; for what he had no idea, but he felt the need to buy something. Rick walked all over Manhattan (within reason) and he found a few things. He realized that it was late afternoon—he had been walking around most of the day. In all honesty, he was just trying to keep his mind off of Kate. Otherwise he would end up on her doorstep, and she didn't need that right now either. Kate was not a cruel person, and rejecting Will Sorenson would not be easy for her. He made a mental note to call her later.

Rick hailed a cab and made his way back to his apartment. As he walked through the door, he heard a voice he wasn't exactly thrilled to hear. Meredith. Meredith and Alexis were sitting on the sofa chatting about whatever mothers and daughters talk about. "Hello girls." He said giving them his best smile. "Meredith, what are you doing in town?"

"Well, we finished shooting that film and I decided to come see you and Alexis while I had a break. In two weeks I start shooting another film."

"That's great! I'm so happy for you. Do you ladies have any plans for the evening?"

"Gram and I decided to go out to dinner at a new Indian restaurant tonight. Then we're going to see a movie. I'm trying to talk mom into going. Do you want to go with?" Alexis asked her dad.

"I don't think so sweetie. I'm actually kind of tired. Taking care of a newborn is exhausting. I forgot how sleep deprived new parents are. I'm going upstairs to take a shower and I'm probably going to turn in early. You guys have fun though. You should go with them Mere. My treat."

"Thanks Richard," she said in her sweetest voice, "I'm considering it. Although I am pretty tired myself."

If Rick had been paying closer attention to her, he would have noticed the look in her eyes. He might have been able to head her off at the pass. But his mind was elsewhere.

"Well, have a good night."

"You too Dad."

"Good night, Richard."

He made his way upstairs. He lay down on his bed for a few minutes, thinking about his time with Kate and Ethan. They were laying the foundation for their relationship, and that made him slightly nervous. He knew that having sex with her was a religious experience for him, but what was it to her? He also worried that she wasn't over his stunt with her mother's case. Does she trust him? He had so many concerns already; they had so much to talk about, but the physical attraction was incredible. He knew he loved her. He knew she loved him. Was it enough? His eyelids started to get heavy so he heaved himself up off the bed to get a shower before he fell asleep. Glancing at the clock he realized that Kate was already on her date (was that what it was called?) with Sorenson. I hope she's okay.

He turned the water on and stripped while he waited for it to heat up. Stepping into the shower, he just stood there for a while, letting the hot water sluice over his body. His mind was still racing about Kate, but this time his thoughts were carnal ones. He couldn't hear the bathroom door open for the shower and his thoughts, so when two arms wrapped around him he had a few choice words. "Shit! What the hell?" He spun around and there was Meredith, naked, in his shower. "Meredith, now is not the time. Get out of my shower."

"But Richard, it looks like a perfect time," she said, dropping her gaze to below his waist.

"Meredith!" He put his hands in front of him to cover up.

"What's with you?"

"I just really need for you to get out and leave the room." He tried to use his kindest voice. He couldn't expect her to know that he was in a relationship. It just happened. And this would have been completely expected and welcomed behavior two days ago.

"Okay," she said, opening the shower door and stepping out. "But you owe me an explanation."

"And you'll get one when I'm fully dressed."

Rick finished up quickly and stepped out of the shower. The closet was right off the bathroom and he grabbed boxers, jeans and a button down. The conversation he was about to have required dressing in regular clothes instead of sweat pants and a t-shirt. For some reason Meredith was more attracted to him in sweats. Stepping into the boxers and jeans, Castle wandered into the bedroom while sliding his arms into his shirt. He froze as soon as he entered the room.

Meredith was lying stark naked on his bed, waiting for him. "Why are you dressed?"

"I told you I would give you an explanation when I was fully clothed. Why aren't you dressed?"

"I decided that I didn't care about your explanation. I just want to get laid, and you're the perfect guy for the job." She moved toward him and pulled him to her. She snagged his hand and placed it on her bare breast. He removed it quickly, as if he had just touched an open flame.

"Meredith, I'm in a relationship now. I can't do this."

"I'll never tell." She said, "This will be just between the two of us." Her hands went to the button on his jeans. Damn she's persistent.

He grabbed both of her wrists and forced her to take a step back. "No. Meredith. I'm not doing this." He slid his shirt off his back and handed it to her. "Put this on. I'll order food and we'll talk over dinner."

"Oh, don't bother with the food, I already ordered." Meredith pulled the shirt over herself. Rick was heading back to the closet for another shirt. "I know how much of a workout sex can be. You're always hungry after. I ordered Thai. Hope that's okay."

"It's fine." Rick came back in the room with a t-shirt in his hand. The door bell rang.

"That's probably the food now." Meredith stated. "Do you have money? What am I thinking? Of course you do. I'll get the door you get the money." She was out the bedroom door and starting down the steps before he could say anything.

The delivery guy is going to think he entered a porn film when she answers the door in that. Meredith wasn't for him, but he'd have to be blind not to notice how beautiful she was. She totally did not look like someone that could be the mother of a sixteen year old.

When Meredith opened the door, there were only two of the middle buttons buttoned on Rick's shirt. She was very obviously naked under it when she smiled at Kate Beckett through the doorway. "Oh, hello." Meredith said sweetly. "Richard didn't say we were having company for dinner."

Kate couldn't believe her eyes. The deep-fried Twinkie? What's she doing here? And why is she naked? "I….He's not expecting…."

At that moment Richard Castle passed by in the background throwing a t-shirt over his bare chest, his hair obviously wet from the shower. "Wait a minute. I'm coming with the money," he yelled over his shoulder, passing to the study. Kate felt a fire burning in her stomach. I have to get out of here.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I'll see him later." Much later. Kate said as calmly as she could around the lump in her throat. She knew she had about thirty seconds before her eyes would not hold back the fresh batch of tears. She turned and headed for the elevator. As she pressed the down button, she heard Meredith say as she was closing the door, "False alarm, it wasn't the food. It was your muse. She said…"

Luckily the elevator was still on his floor, seeing as she just got off. Kate stepped in the elevator and as the doors were closing she saw Castle running out the door. "Kate!" The doors closed just in time. The tears streamed down her face as it crumpled.