A/N:
Why am I so lazy? Don't ask me.
I'm updating because I was talking to Madison on the phone and do you know what she said to me? She said,
"You need to bring back Updates Friday."
Well, it's not much of an update and it certainly isn't Friday, but lets just pretend it is, okay?
NOTE: This story is based off another story I'm writing in English right now for a project. It's basically "Inside the Sick Mind of: Yuki Sohma!" with old, English historians. So yeah. Lots of old, English words.
((The story is called, "Elaine Shallot!: This Isn't Your Life!" which you can read on my Fiction Press account, The Future Mrs. Edward Elric.))
-
Whatteth thy Hell?
This parchment scroll be making no thy sense!
-
"Whatever do thy mean, Sir Haru?"
"Why, Lady Tohru, thy cant not read thy ancient parchment!"
"Sir Haru, are thy eyeballs impaired?"
-
Thou Lady Tohru.
Such a… mentally perplexed individual.
-
"Thou shalt not steal!"
"Thy art not thou God, Lady Akito!"
"… O Holy Lord thy damn."
-
Thy Lady Akito thinks she be thy O Holy Lord.
-
"I be the O Holy Lord!"
"Make thy mouth of thou cease it's simpleton speech!"
"Shutup." (Kyo.)
"SIR KYO! SPEAK LIKE THOU ART FROM THY 1800'S OR OF WITH THY HEAD!"
"Oh please, like that's scary."
-
I, Sir Haru, shalt deliver to thy Sir Kyo senseless man sex as punishment for his horrific deeds.
-
"Art thou being too harsh, Sir Haru?"
"Lady Kagura! Mind thou business to which thy own!"
-
Thou art getting good at this.
Thou see, thee whole chapter is basically practice for thy Mighty O Holy Authoress.
Practice for thwat, I hear thy be asking?
-
"Lady Authoress' special 1800's story?"
"…"
"Story…. Art thou?"
"(claps)"
"Wooteth!"
-
Yee.
It be thy way things are about thee here kingdom of Sohma.
-
"Thy art not allowed inside thy pearly gates of thy kingdom!"
"Thy shalt not whine under thy influence of thy O Holy Lord!"
"What about thy influence of wine?"
"…"
"BURN!"
-
Fine.
This was getting boring anyways.
-
So, as you might all remember from last years story about Yuki…?
-
"Oh, you mean that dignity shredding, steaming pile of horse shit?"
"Yes, that's the one."
-
Well!
You might also recall a chapter about the Sohma family going on a bushwalk.
Well! Guess what!
-
"You died?"
"…"
"Ahahaha!"
"Momiji, go pimp yourself out, or something."
"Yessir."
-
We're going on another one.
Soon.
-
"Are you going to leave me to die again?"
"I guess so, Hiro."
"Angel-san will curse you!"
"I'm already cursed, you moron."
"… (burn)"
-
Yesterday, when I was at school, Tohru was all like,
"Die!"
To me. And I was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really…
-
"What?"
"I can't remember what I was going to say now."
"O.O!"
-
Have you ever been making scones and just broken out into song because you think no one is watching, but they secretly are and are filming it too?
Yeah, me neither.
-
But if they did, I might just want to die.
-
"Please do so anyway."
"Go to hell, Kureno!"
"I'm already there… (random angsting)"
"… Oooookay then …"
This chapter seems to have a lot about death in it.
I wonder why.
-
"Authoress listens to too much MCR and other sadness-inducing music."
"THEY'RE NOT SAD! (kicks)"
"See what I mean?"
-
Anyways…
-
"EYE ART THOU GAWD!"
"Shutup Akito, we're all over it."
"(emo)"
-
A donkey (Rin) just called upon me for sex.
-
"That's MY line!"
"No it isn't, Tohru! Die!"
-
That silly Tohru…
I'll kill her!
-
A/N:
Yep.
Pretty much.
Jiggidy-jiggidy jam.