A/N:
Hmm... haven't updated this in a while...
Suppose it's something to do, right?
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When I made 60mil, Kyo got paid.
When I made 80mil, Ayame got paid.
When I made 100mil, Akito got paid.
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"I'm laughin' straight to da bank wit dis!"
"Ha ha ha! Ha! Ha ha ha haaa!"
"Indeed..."
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You see, a recently got signed up to the same pimp music industry that Charmillionare, or as you know him, HIRO, did.
And I became a gangsta called "50 Cent".
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I did this, of course, to spite my dear cousin Yuki.
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You see, he told me I wasn't gangsta enough.
He also told me I'd never be gangsta... (flashback)
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"I'm so gangsta."
"No, Haru! You'll never be gangsta! I am too gangsta for you pants! I'm the gangsta! Not you!"
"What about Hiro?"
"He's not even a real gangsta!"
"Noooo! I'll show yoooouuu!"
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And so, my quest began and finished here.
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I became quite famous, writing many songs and shooting up a few bitches and hoes.
I wrote a song about that, ya know?
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"Bitches and hoes,
Everywhere I be goes,
Followin' me round,
Like they know what I pound."
"That's very nice, Fiddy."
"I be fankin' yoo, mah homie."
"(bows)"
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Anyway, back to the story.
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So, I started making all this money, and of course, little Yun was soooo jealous!
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"I'm soooo jealous!"
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See?
And so, to spite him even MORE!, I gave some of the Sohma's he hates the most money.
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"I made 60mil, Kyo."
"Oh. Uh. That's nice. I guess."
"I have something for you."
"R-Really...?"
"Have some money. (gives 20 yen)"
"... (sniffs) I now have enough money to buy a new razor blade!"
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I loved seeing the sad, emotional look on Yun's face.
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"(sad, emotional)"
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Of course, he was even sadder when I "paid" Kyo with something else...
...Which is beside the point.
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When I made MORE! money, I moved on to the next level of hate for Yuki.
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"Guess what, Ayame!"
"Oooh, what is it, darling Ox? Did you make 80mil?"
"Yes..."
"Oooh! I get paid! How wonderful! How much yen do I get? Twenty thousand? A hundred thousand?!"
"40 yen."
"... Oh, well, that's nice. Hey, hey Yuki! Look, brother! Haru gave me 40 yen! How nice of him ..."
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"Haru, I thought you loved me?"
"Yuki, one's love can only stretch so far."
"... Meaning?"
"I love you, but I needed to stir up something interesting for this page."
"Ah. I see."
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He, of course, began to spite me as planned.
But I pushed it a little bit more.
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"Hey, Akito?"
"I told you a thousand times, dammit! I don't know where Rin is!"
"..."
"..."
"I made 100mil."
"Oh, nice."
"Have 60 yen. (gives)"
"... Thank-you."
"Any time."
"I'll release on your girlfriend..."
"... What?"
"On your behalf."
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Who knew Akito was so... dirty?
And lesbian!
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Poor Rin...
I'll see to it she's okay.
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"(spits on fruit basket-loops)"
"THAT'S REN, YOU FOOL!"
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Clearly, I have failed in my duties as your hostess.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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"P-Pardon me?"
"Kisa, did you not hire me as your sexual hostess? I failed... you don't seem to be enjoying what I'm doing to you..."
"(cries)"
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I just realised...
When Hatori buys me a car...
It'll be boucing... rather than... moving...
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"... That was pretty random."
"Not as "pretty random" as God made your face!"
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"Ha ha ha! Ha! Ha ha haaa!"
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A/N:
Yes... my mind wanders very easily...
Thanks for noticing: D