"Ya sure ya spelled it right? This doesn't look..."
"Shut up! It's here somewhere, just give me a fucking second!"
Nathan scanned the results from the search over the bright screen.
"Let's see... um, blood...killing...GOD DAMN IT! I spelled it wrong! AGAIN!"
"Told ya so, lemme write it..."
"No wait, here it is!"
Nathan clicked on the video and waited for it to buffer up. Youtube was slow today, and he hated it. About ten seconds later it could be played and his eyes were fixed at the screen.
"Okee, so the guy is tryin ta catch it, alreet...WOAH SHIT!"
"I told you! Look at that blood!"
"That's one pissed ahf walkin hamburger!"
The horse lunged at the other man that was trying to run away, but chased him down and crushed him with the metallic, underside of its hoofs. The sweating body was covered in blood and some intestines from its victims.
"Why don't we have any of thosche?"
The three American band members stared in awe at the savage massacre that was played on the blank screen.
"I dunno, but I take back everything that I said about 'em bein' gay. Gad, we hav'ta have some of 'em, like herd or somethin'!
"Good thinking! We schould have lots of them and watch them when they schtart fighting and schit! And when they kill schome yard wolvesch!"
"GOD, you're smart sometimes Murderface! Don't horses easily start bitching with each other anyway? They'll kill each other for nothing!"
"It'll be schurvival of the fittescht with all the weak onesch getting their asches kicked by the strong onesch!"
"Ya know, if we let 'em kill eachuther like that, we'll have, like a breeding program. We could even earn monee frum it!"
Nathan seemed utterly ecstatic over the idea of breeding killer horses and being able to watch the entire show too. With both Pickles and Murderface adding up even more brutal stuff to the subject, his enthusiasm grew.
"Hell, yeah!"
Perfectly brutal images was growing in the now really winded up mind of the dark front man. Possible song titles were dancing in them, maybe he could re-do "Thunderhorse" in an even more brutal manner?
"Heys guys! What ams goingks ons? Ams dat porn?!"
Before anyone payed any attention to Skwisgaar, he had rushed to the screen. His disappointment was obvious.
"Den whats ams you lookinks ats?"
"Killer horse." Nathan answered and played the video a second time for the Swede to see.
"Dat really ams brutals...Why does wes not has horses?"
"I know! We were just talking about it, and we thought that we should like, bring the most brutal horses from...uh...everywhere to this place and just let them run round like goofballs."
"And killing eatsch other." Murderface inflicted.
"Yeah, and killing each other. And breed even more brutal horsekids by killing off all the weak ones."
"Schurvival of the fittescht." Murderface repeated.
"Wow, dat ams ans awesomes idea!"
"N' all we godda do, is wait for Ahfdensen to wake up! Then we cud show'im our idea, n' that we cn' earn munee frum it!"
"What the hell isch that?"
Murderface's sudden comment broke the discussion and turned everyones attention to the computer. One of the related videos did seem very out of the ordinary. Nathan clicked on it to find out more. Within seconds, the group of musicians burst out in a symphony of noises of pure disgust.
"Oh GOD, that is disturbing!"
"Gahd, you guys, Ahm gonna throw ahp! That's disgustin!"
"What the fuck, Why the hell would he like to get hisch asch mutilated by a horsche dick?!"
Luckily, the video they were watching was only a clip from a video called "mr. Hands".
"Ja, dat is diskustink, buts I've seen worse..."
All eyes turned to Skwisgaar.
"Like what?" Nathan growled, although interested.
"Two girls, one cup." he answered dramatically.
"Eew, you schick fuck! Don't even talk about that schit!"
"So yous seens it?"
"Ahf course we have! Who hasn't seen it? I mean, it is disgustin' but you've godda see it at sum point, y'know? It's historical!" Pickles stated franticly.
The others nodded in agreement. They had all seen it, and were all disgusted by the mere thought. Although, Skwisgaar seemed to have generated some sort of idea.
"I don'ts think Toki has seens it..."
A delighted smirk spread across his face while the consequences of the stunt were portrayed in his mind. Oh, it would be hilarious!
His statement seemed to have the same effect on the other band members as well.
"You know what we should do? We should totally make him see it, it'll be awesome!!!"
The front man's enthusiasm was apparent, and it spread like wild fire.
"Where isch he, then?"
A silence was taking place, not for long though.
"I theenk he's watchin' sum show aboot sharks in the uther room..." Pickles stated thoughtfully.
Toki did sit in the other room watching Animal Planet. And yes, it was about sharks.
"Wowie!"
Like a torpedo the great white leaped out of the water and caught the doomed seal in its death grip. The water was quickly changing its color near by the scene of the crime. The massive fish was thrashing the carcass around in the water, ripping it to pieces and gulping the fresh meat. Toki watched wide eyed with delight mingled with terror. In his mind, he imagined being a shark. Not just any shark though, a megalodon! It would be rather bad ass to be a huge shark thought to be extinct. But it could be even more powerful, like filled with black magic or something.
"That would be really brutal, not even Nathan can deny that..." he thought. He reminded himself to present his idea as an idea for a song.
"I want a megalodon at Mordhaus!"
His thoughts were interrupted by a new presence in the room. Pickles had entered, slightly drunk as usual.
"Hi, Pickle! Ams yous heres to watch dis show abouts sharks withs me?"
"No, no! We've gat this video ahn the cumpyooder we wanna show you. C'man! Go, go go!"
The very Irish American turned and made his way back to the others. Toki followed, of course.
"Ahll right, I've gat'em with me! Let's show'im the moovie!"
A bit awkward, Toki made it through the room to the others, well aware of the stare of his band mates.
"Sos, whats ams dis movie yous wantsed to shows me?"
"Nothing schpeshal really, juscht uh... schomething we wanted you to schee, you know?"
"Yeah, we uh...just want you to see it. No... particular reason." Nathan filled in.
"Nat'ans! Moves aways froms dat chairs yous ams sittinks on! Toki wills be sittinks dere to be ables to sees de bestest!" Skwisgaar scowled at the dark front man.
"Moove awee, it's for the best!"
Nathan moved and let Toki have the best seat, after having resized the video to full screen.
"Dos you wants me to presses de plays button?"
Nathan only nodded, so Toki did so.
"OK, so dere ams two goils..."
He sceptically watched, unaware that he was the only one watching it. Everyone else was watching him. It didn't take long before the youngest member of the band's facial expression grew from curious, to horrifyingly disgusted, to down right sick.
"Oh Gods, I'ms gonna puke!"
Toki fell of the chair, running towards the nearest bathroom but fell and vomited over the floor. That only made the rest of Dethklok laugh even harder.
"Did you geys see his fuckin' face! Fuckin' praisless!"
It took about one and a half minute before Toki felt safe to talk without throwing up.
"Whats de fucks was dats?!" he panted.
The response was delayed due to the lack of breathing. Pickles actually looked as if he would pass out any second because of all the hysterical laughter. The others weren't that far away from an identical state, but they were at least not as bad.
"Wells?!"
"That wasch...the moscht...dischguschting...video you can find on...the Internet!" Murderface managed to spit out, literally.
"God, you should have seen...your face!"
"You sick fucks!"
Toki wiped his mouth and carefully stood up on shaky legs and started slowly walking to the previous room.
"Cries babies, yous don'ts gets any jokes!"
Toki replied by giving the finger and left the room for the sharks.
'Dildoes! Fuck you all!'
Pouting, the rather nauseous rhythm guitarist sank back into the sofa he'd been sitting in early for less than two minutes earlier. Luckily, he had missed the commercials and arrived just in time for the documentary to continue. Still tasting the sour vomit in his mouth he shouted for a Klokateer to bring him some mouthwash and a cup of tea of some sort that didn't taste like throw up. The hooded servant nodded and asked if there was anything else he wished for.
"Gives to mes a papers ands a pen for drawinks. Oh, ands a erazors!"
The Klokateer left to get his requested artifacts and left the room. Seconds later another Klokateer came with some papers, a beautiful pen and an eraser shaped like a panda. Toki's bad mood almost completely vanished as he saw the delightful pandashaped eraser and straightened his posture to be able to draw. Eyes focusing on the swift aerodynamic shape of the great white, he analyzed the creature as hardly as he could. He started scribbling and kept on doing so until he had sketched a base he was happy with.
'Easy as pies, or how they say it...'
He listened to the British narrator describing the complex structure of the shark's body that was so perfectly cut out as an underwater killing machine. Some basic shading was clumsily added, but for an amateur he thought he was doing well. A Klokateer came with his tea and carefully placed it on the table beside the sofa.
"Your beverage, my Lord."
"Ams you sures dat it ams not taste like pukes?"
"Yes, my Lord, it's vanilla flavoured."
"OK, thanks you. Bye!"
Toki waved the servant of with a rather pleasant smile on his face before returning to his drawing. It was turning out pretty cool actually, if he could say so himself. He picked up the gigantic porcelain cup with the hot tea and sipped cautiously. Nope, it was definitely vanilla. However, it could use more honey. Toki was no longer in a good mood, he was in a slightly better one until...
"Vad är det där?"
"What do you mean "what is that?"? Are you blind?!"
Even though it was nice so have someone to talk to in one's native tongue, it was rather lame when that person was a dick.
Skwisgaar scoffed and sneered meanly.
"Pfft! I can draw a ten billion times better shark than that!"
"Oh, so you can see what it is suddenly?"
"Nope, I just knew what it was. I still can't see why you call that a shark!"
The arrogant Swede sat down next to Toki and grabbed a paper and snatched the pen from his fellow guitarist's hand.
"This is how you draw a shark:"
He started scribbling in a, to Toki's great amusement, rather ugly way. He could see the lead's frustration grow greater and greater as he simply couldn't get his sketch right.
"Is it too hard for you?" Toki teased.
"NO! It's just... this pen! It's not any good. If I had another, I could draw awesomely."
"OK, then." Toki turned his head to the nearest Klokateer and shouted:
"Hey yous! Cans yous gives to mine friends here a pen dat ams not the same as mine pen?"
The hooded servant left and returned momentarily with a different pen and gave it to Skwisgaar.
"Is that all, my Lords?"
"Ja, but bes readys for Skwisgaar to wants another types of papers."
Skwisgaar gave him a burning look but kept calm. He started from the beginning and it actually did turn out better than the previous one. He sloppily placed out details before explaining that he was done and ten billion times better.
"That is one ugly fucker of a shark..." Toki grinned in the most spiteful of ways.
"No, it's much better than yours!"
"Skwisgaar, it has no fins on the sides or even a shark shaped body."
The Swede gestured and muttered whilst thinking of something clever to say. Unfortunately he didn't find anything of that matter.
"Dis ams dildos anyways! Yous can draws like a littles babys, but I won'ts!" he snorted and left angrily, having realized that Toki actually was better and he would never in his life admit it. Ever.
Mordhaus was a giant labyrinth. Literally. It was impossible for anyone to not ever get lost within the great walls. It was a world of its own, partially because of its main inhabitants thinking it was the only world. Eventhough they had all once lived in the world beyond Mordhaus, they seemed to have forgotten all about it. Or maybe they never really had lived in it. Nevertheless, this was their home now. Their world, and they were the gods of it.
The dark evening grew into an even darker night and soon the pale moon was shining over them all. Since it was called "moonshine" Pickles believed that moonshine was an important ingredient to his own, super strong moonshine. So therefor he always made it at night when the moon was out (however he could make it on moonless nights too. Or during the day...) and that was exactly what he was doing at the time.
"This geys, is some strahng shit!"
He finished it and grabbed a bottle of his old poison and drank it thirstily. No one answered him, since they were all too busy doing important things like watching TV, playing guitar or having a silent dispute about something. The evening was one of those typical ones where no one has the energy of doing anything and ends up being lazy. The entire band was in the gigantic recreation room doing whatever they felt like. That is, not very much.
The ridiculously large television screen was on and was showing some stupid documentary about a guy who lived in a garbage can and they all watched half heartedly.
"I think... I need a hundred beers..."
Nathan's words had just sprung from his lips when a couple of Klokateers were starting to transport a hundred bottles of beer to him.
"Are you gonna schare that?"
"No."
Murderface grew frustrated.
"Come on! It'sch a hundred, for fucksch schake!"
"No!"
"Greedy aschhole!"
Nathan turned and gave him a piercing look.
"Why don't you get your own fucking one hundred beers?!"
The bassist looked (or at least tried to look) shocked.
"Becausche thisch showsch how our band worksch!"
The others grew interested and paid attention to what was coming. Nathan only grunted.
"How does me not wanting to share MY beers with you show how our band works?"
Murderface sighed theatrically.
"Becausche, it showsch that we don't truscht each other. That we don't have the confidensche in each other to schare our perschonal beloningsch."
"Buts you don'ts shares yours stuff wit us..." Toki inflicted.
"Schut up, Toki! You're misching the point!"
"Whet point?"
"That we need to schare thingsch to prove our truscht!"
"Buts, yous don'ts shares!
Murderface got to his feet, angered look in his face.
"You know what? Fuck thisch! You can schit here being greedy ascholesch, but I'm getting the fuck out of here!"
Pissed off he marched out of the room and headed for his own. His band mates were lazily watching him leave before falling into the familiar doing-noting-state after the action had faded. There were no sounds except from the soft plucking of strings, the TV and a passed out drummer's drunken snoring and mumbling.
"Dis ams dildos. I wills haves more funs sleepingks in my beds!"
With those words, Skwisgaar too departed from the room, leaving only two (conscious) members of Dethklok in the room. Nathan was watching the TV with vague interest and Toki did nothing, which he found very boring. He sighed a little and tried to figure something out to do. The chain of his heavy dethphone was something to keep his fingers busy for a couple of seconds, but it was far from enough. Instead he picked it up, an idea springing to mind. Some seconds later, a singing sound was heard from Nathan's phone. The dark frontman picked it up and examined it before reading the message. Toki waited impatiently for him to finish, trying to control the bubbling laughter within.
"Knock knock... who's ams there...hmm..."
After a while Toki couldn't hold it any longer and burst into laughter while Nathan gave him a puzzled look.
"What's so funny? Did you send this? I don't get it..."
Toki calmed down a bit before answering.
"Ams you stupids? It isn'ts dat hards!"
"But I really don't get it, look."
Nathan showed him the message:
Knocks knocks
Who's ams dere?
Toki
Toki whos?
Toki Wartoojnth
"Oh waits, it ams supposed to bes "Wartooth"!"
Then Nathan too burst in to laughter.
"God that's hilarious!"
After a couple of hours sending text message jokes to Nathan, Toki decided to call it a day and go to bed. He was getting rather tired and did prefer to be as awake as possible during the time he spent with his band mates. Not paying attention to their actions could cost one dearly. He entered his room, realizing that it had gotten quite chilly due to his open window. He walked up to close it as he suddenly saw something. He froze and hurried to investigate. It was a small piece of paper, a note. Curiously, he unfolded it and read eagerly.
Toki
Meet me in my room before you go to bed. I must tell you something.
S.
Confused, Toki scratched his head. What was this? Another misleading in the never ending maze of Mordhaus? A huge variety of possibilities flew through his mind. Was it just another stupid joke from the Swede's side, or did he actually want to say something?
'An apology would be nice...'
It felt very surreal for Skwisgaar to beg for forgiveness, but still... It would be appreciated to have the pompous asshole showing some respect.
He always treated him like dirt, but he still was the best friend Toki had ever had. Being treated nicely was a luxury he had early learned was a very rare occurrence. But beneath the insults and the patronizing treatment was a kind of affection that his dear idol held for him. As if he actually wanted his friendship.
Toki rose, deciding it was worth the risk and sneaked out towards Skwisgaar's room.
While there he hesitated for a few seconds. What if it was all a big mistake? He anxiously shifted his weight from foot to foot and almost turned to go back but decided that he still was willing to take the risk.
As quiet as he could, Toki opened the door and stepped inside the big room. His eyes searched it, before finding something that made him jump a little.
Skwisgaar was awake, standing by his bed. Still with some hesitation, Toki moved towards him.
"Skwisgaar...?"
Something was wrong. As his eyes adapted to the darkness of the room, Toki could see that Skwisgaar was lying in his bed. Someone else was standing, hawking over his sleeping form.
Terrified and unknowing of what to do, Toki stared at the figure some meters in front of him. He wanted to scream of fright as panic clawed inside of him. The light from the moon shone on the blank blade held to Skwisgaar's throat and on the pale hand that was handling it. A long finger was placed over red lips as the dark woman made it very clear for him to be quiet.