Author's note: Okay so this is the funeral of Ashley. It runs a bit long but I felt I couldn't cheat Ashley out of a proper funeral. Secondly the funeral is based on a Roman Catholic Funeral so please don't be offended. Thanks for reading stay tuned for more. -Lena Knight
Ashley's funeral was on the Friday morning. It dawned cold and rainy so like Ashley, Chris thought as he stood on the balcony. He let the cool rain wash away his fears and doubts about raising his sons by himself. It was as if Ashley herself was there at this moment holding his hand and promising that this long difficult day would be over soon and he could finally sleep.
Finally after he was soaked in walked in and debated on weather he should shower or not. He shrugged and smiled a bit, the rain had been his shower. He stripped and dressed in his black suit and slicked his hair back in a ponytail. He walked down the steps and into the kitchen where Misha, Brian, Austin, Noah, Troy, Taylor, and Sabina all sat awaiting him. "Thanks for getting the boys ready." He said as he hugged Misha.
Misha gave him a smile. "It was no problem Chris."
Chris looked up at Austin; it killed him to see his son because he reminded Chris so much of Ashley. His black bangs fell over his eye just like Ashley's had but you could see those beautiful baby blue eyes though the thick black hair. He looked over at Noah who had his blond hair but had Ashley's eyes. It was hard not to think of Ashley and the boys.
With a sigh Chris walked out of the kitchen and into the den. He saw the limo was already there. He nodded and called. "Alright guys it's time."
Soon enough the troop were piled into the limo and headed to pick up Steve, Stephanie, and Cassidy. Chris sighed and clutched his hands in his lap. He felt Brian pat his back. "It's okay." He murmured. Chris nodded slowly. He hated this, he just wanted his wife but she was never coming back and he knew that.
The limo pulled into Steve's driveway and the door opened. Steve and his other two daughters slide into the limo. Chris felt bad that his two biological daughters lived so far away in England and now Ashley was gone. Steve hugged him closely as the limo started off towards the funeral home.
Once they got to the funeral home Chris saw that a large number had already gathered there. A bunch of fans had gathered outside the funeral home holding signs and such. Chris nodded to them as he exited the limo. "I wonder if there's this many people here how many are going to be at the church." Chris said to Brian.
Brian nodded. "Ash was well loved." He mumbled as they made their way inside.
Chris walked over to the casket and looked down at his wife. Steve and him had decided to bury her in her usual jeans and a t-shirt. Austin had insisted a picture of him, Noah, and Chris would be buried with her and Noah had placed his favorite bear with her. He kissed her forehead and sat down.
The priest, Father Dan began with the Lord's Prayer. He then invited everyone to say their final goodbyes before they closed the casket. The people in the back first mainly old friends from school. Chris even saw Ashley's old college friend Shelby who had been married to Paul London for a while. Next came most of the WWE wrestlers. Finally it was Chris and the boys' turn. "Come on it's time to say goodbye to mommy." He whispered.
He lifted up Austin first and Austin kissed Ashley. "I love you mommy. I miss you so much. I'll see you in heave one day. Bye mommy." He said as tears ran down his face. "Okay daddy set me down."
He lifted up Noah and he also kissed Ashley. "I love you mama." Noah said and blew her a kiss.
Chris set him down and smiled. "I'll be seeing you again baby girl. I love you. You're my life." He whispered and kissed her gently. "Goodbye love."
He walked out into the waiting room and kneeled down and hugged his boys tightly. "Your mother loved you so much." Soon enough the casket was loaded into the hearse and everyone was in their cars to join the procession to the church. The drive didn't take long and soon enough everyone stood outside the church watching Chris, Steve, Brian, Glen, Jeff, and John act as pallbearers. Misha held her sons hands, while Cassidy and Stephanie held Noah's and Austin's.
Once everyone was in the church they opened with a song. Father Dan came out dressed in his ceremony robes. "I am Resurrection and I am Life, says the Lord. Whoever has faith in me shall have life, even though he die. And everyone who has life, and has committed himself to me in faith shall not die for ever. As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives and that at the last he will stand upon the earth. After my awaking, he will raise me up; and in my body, I shall see God. I myself shall see, and my eyes behold him who is my friend and not a stranger. For none has life in himself, and none becomes his own master when he dies. For if we have life, we are alive in the Lord, and if we die, we die in the Lord. So, then, whether we live or die, We are the Lord's possession. Happy from now on are those who die in the Lord! So it is, says the Spirit, for they rest from their labors." Father Dan paused. "The Lord be with you."
Everyone gathered responded with. "And also with you."
"Let us pray." Father Dan said bowing his head. "O God, whose mercies cannot be numbered: Accept our prayers on behalf of your servant Ashley, and grant her an entrance into the land of light and joy, in the fellowship of your saints; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever."
"Amen." Everyone said.
"And now a reading by Stephanie Austin." Father Dan said and went to his seat.
Stephanie got up and walked to the podium. She opened the folder that they had given her. She began in her soft English accent. "A reading from revelations 7: 9-17. One of the elders turned to me and said: "These men that are robed in white - who are they and from where do they come? But I answered, 'My Lord, you know, not I.' Then he said to me, 'These are the men who have passed through the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. That is why they stand before the throne of God and minister to him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will dwell with them. They shall never again feel hunger or thirst, the sun shall not beat on them nor any scorching heat, because the Lamb who is at the heart of the throne will be their shepherd and will guide them to the springs of the water of life; and God will wipe all tears from their eyes."
Father Dan stood and began. "Now a reading from Misha Kendrick."
Misha got out of the pew and made her way to the podium. "When I was asked to find a reading for Ashley I thought of two things. The first was the thing she had written in a letter to me, so I will begin with that. It's called I needed the Quiet and it's by Alice H. Mortenson"
'I needed the quiet so he drew me aside Into the shadows where we could confide, Away from the bustle where all the day long I hurried and worried when active and strong. I needed the quiet tho at first I rebelled, But gently, so gently my cross he upheld, And whispered so sweetly of spiritual things, Tho weakened in body, my spirit took wings To heights never heard of when active and gay, He loved me so greatly he drew me away. I needed the quiet, no prison my bed, But a beautiful valley of blessings instead A place to grow richer in Jesus to hide I needed the quiet so he drew me aside."
When she finished she looked up from the paper tears in her eyes. "I am sorry." She mumbled and wiped her tears away. "The next reading I found just glancing though some sites online."
'Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there... I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow...I am the diamond glints on snow...I am the sunlight on ripened grain...I am the gentle autumn rain. When you waken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of gentle birds in circling flight...I am the soft star that shines at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry—I am not there... I did not die…"
Once she was seated again Father Dan stood again. "At this point we would usually sing a song together but Chris and Steve have most requested that Lillian Garcia sing Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven. She will be accompanied by Chris Jericho on the guitar."
They both got up and Lillian gave Chris a hug. He picked up his acoustic guitar and began strumming. "Would you know my name If I saw you in heaven? Would you feel the same If I saw you in heaven? I must be strong and carry on cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...Would you hold my hand If I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand If I saw you in heaven? I'll find my way through night and day cause I know I just cant stay here in heaven...Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...Would you know my name If I saw you in heaven? Would you feel the same If I saw you in heaven? I must be strong and carry on cause I know I don't belong here in heaven…"
Once they were done Chris put his hand on the casket and then looked up and away. His tears were blurring his vision. Lillian took his arm and guided him back to his pew where he broke down in soft sobs. He had tried to get it together but he just couldn't do it after that song.
Next Father Dan went to podium "We seem to give her back to you, dear Lord. You gave her to us. But just as you did not lose her in giving, neither do we lose her in returning her to you. You do not give things in the way the world gives. What you give, you do not take away. You have taught us that what is yours is ours also, if we are yours. Life is eternal, Lord, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing but the limits of our sight. Lift us up, strong Son of God that we might see farther. Cleanse our eyes that we may see more clearly. Draw us closer to you, O Lord, that we may find ourselves closer to our loved ones who are with you. And while you prepare a place for them, prepare us also for that heavenly place, where you are, and Ashley is, and where we hope to be forever. Amen.
It seemed to me that this prayer pretty much sums up what we are about today, and reminds us of some things that it may be difficult for us to remember in the midst of our shock and grief. The first thing is that Ashley belongs to God. She always has, and she always will. Our Lord gave her to us briefly as a companion on our earthly journey to know and to love as a daughter, wife, mother, sister, niece and friend. God, for a brief moment, gave us that spark of energy infused with grace that was Ashley. And we need to give thanks for her life among us for the love and the laughter we shared with her for good times and bad for all the memories she leaves behind.
God did not lose Ashley in giving her to us. She was baptized into the body of Christ, and she has always been God's child. In the same way, we do not lose Ashley by giving her back to God, which is why we gather here today. This is the time for entrusting Ashley to God's care, to return this wonderful gift that God shared with us for 27 years. But we are all children of God, and he shares all he has and all he is with us. And while Ashley will not be physically present with us again in this world, she will always be with us in the body of Christ. Through our baptism, we were all made one in Christ, and nothing, not even death, can ever separate us again. Through baptism into the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus, we have been given the assurance of eternal life.
A friend of mine, a priest, who has now left this life and lives in our Lord's kingdom, had a banner hanging in his church, and he always referred to in his funeral homilies. The banner proclaimed in big, bold letters, "Christians can never really say goodbye to one another, because we are always present to one another in the body of Christ." We haven't lost Ashley. She is with us through the communion of saints, the blessed fellowship which binds us to one another, and binds the living to the dead through the love of God.
The prayer goes on to remind us that love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing but the limit of our sight. Love is stronger than death. God proved this in the resurrection of Jesus Christ. And St. Paul tells us in his 1st letter to the Corinthians that love never dies. The love all of us had for Ashley, and her love for us, will never die it lives on, and because it lives on we know that she also lives on. She lives on in a land of light and joy and peace, a land just over the horizon we call death.
I think it is helpful to think of death as a horizon. When you think about how far it is to the horizon, to the limit of our sight, it's really not very far. We wouldn't think someone had ceased to exist because that person had moved to a place we couldn't see from where we are standing. Death is a similar kind of horizon; it's a moving from one kind of world into another. Often times at funerals we read the poem, "Gone from my Sight", which describes a ship sailing off into the distance, until finally it is gone from sight. The poet points out that the ship has not changed because he cannot see it. It is just as large and majestic as it was when it sat by the dock. In the same way, Ashley, dwelling in our Lord's kingdom now, is still the vibrant, vivacious young woman she always was when she was among us.
Finally, this prayer reminds us that our Lord can and will uphold us. He will lift us up so we may continue on our earthly pilgrimage, knowing that we are bound together with all those we love, and all those, living and dead, who call Jesus Christ their Lord. It reminds us that we will one day be with Ashley and all those we love who have left this life and now dwell with our Lord in his heavenly kingdom.
In our sadness and grief, in the midst of things we cannot understand or explain, let us commit Ashley and ourselves to God's never failing love and care, knowing that he will give us strength and courage to face the days ahead, just as he gives them new life in his heavenly kingdom."
Father Dan smiled slowly and nodded. "Now for some reflections from Jeff Hardy." He said and sat down.
Jeff sighed and walked to the same podium the others had. He opened his folder and smiled. "I first met Ashley in June 1998 when my brother and I started off with the WWF. We had only been on the road for a week before we got roped into watching 12 year old, Ashley Austin. My brother Matt and I were a little anxious. All we knew about Ashley was she was Steve Austin's daughter. The reason we were stuck watching a little brat like her was that Steve had become ill in Cleveland. So Matt and I asked Ashley what she would like to do and she said an inside picnic. So Matt and I went and got all the sandwiches and drinks while Ashley was out with Glen Jacobs. When we arrived at the hotel with a picnic Ashley was a bit dirty and she held this little container. She wouldn't tell us what it was until we began eating and she brought out ants. She simply explained to us "What's a picnic without ants?" We weren't quite sure what kind of friendship this was going to be.
It was turned out fine. Ashley was our personal introduction to the WWF social community and the backstabbing. Ashley and I were night owls and it was a literal godsend to have her on tour with us. Before long we had walkie talkies and would call each other in the middle of the night and just wander the halls together. It only took one night to notice that the batteries were dead.
We got to know each other even better. I got in trouble with Steve when I gave Ashley a black cat. He paid me back by making me pay for its vet bills, food and kitty litter. Even worst he began unmerciful when I tried to recycle a little wet kitty litter by heating it in the oven. She was always dying her hair rainbow colors. She said she liked new colors. I knew better. She just wanted to look better then me.
Ashley was always up to something. She collected penguins, she watched people, she loved to play in the wrestling ring and write. There was an extraordinary energy, and enthusiasm, and generosity around her.
I was very sad in 2003 when Ashley finished home school high school and she moved to New York City for college. It was an enormous loss for me. By then we were the best of friends. It was also in 2003 when I became addicted to drugs. Ashley took some time off of school and dragged me to Wareham, Mass. near Cape Cod to break the habit. For almost two months all we did was play tennis, go swimming, and went sailing. I remember the yellow house. In the evenings she and was upstairs supposedly writing but of course she was sleeping. So when I wanted to sleep it was "jibber jabber jibber jabber". She would tell me about, as she said, "whooping it up." In NYC. Ashley described NYC as "fun central."
Ashley was scornful when I mixed up my own sun screen solution. One day he spied a rusty oil drum on the beach. That night she presented me with this terrible looking 55 gallon oil drum to be used as a container for my 16 ounces of home made sun screen. Since then that drum, and its successor, have traveled a lot of miles for surreptitious deliveries. One day I found it tucked gently under the covers of my double bed. Ashley's anonymous note hoped that it "might drum something up." There had to be a successor to the drum after Matt filled the original with cement and left it on Ashley's lawn. The successor arrived via Greyhound bus from Pittsburgh for my birthday.
We chartered a sailboat for a week of cruising in the Virgin Islands. It was in my name, but of course Ashley wanted to be the skipper every other day. I remember sweating bullets one day when she took us safely through a very narrow passage we had no business attempting. I was a bit surprised at the end of that wonderful week to discover only 2 bottles remaining from that case of rum because she was underage.
During one of her visits to my house Matt was having a beer party in our boathouse. "Jeff" asked Ashley in that quiet Ashley-esque way with a twinkle in his eye, knowing the answer to the question she was asking. "Do have you any cherry bombs?" Down she and I went directly under the floor of the boathouse and lighted one off. That was a very surprised boathouse full of people
There you have it. Ants, walkie talkies, kitty-litter, oil drum, cherry bomb and countless memories. Add it all up and you get 14 years of great fun. I believe in the folk wisdom that when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Ashley dealt with lemons for the last year. Every day she was living with ovarian cancer and its treatment consequences. She made extraordinary lemonade. The major ingredient, of course, was courage. How she did it, I don't know but she was always fun to be with. Ash. I will never forget you, but I will miss you terribly."
Father Dan stood. "Give rest, O Christ, to your servants with your saints." He prompted
"Where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting." The large group said.
"You only are immortal, the creator and maker of mankind; and we are mortal, formed of the earth, and to earth shall we return. For so did you ordain when you created me, saying, "You are dust, and to dust you shall return." All of us go down to the dust; yet even at the grave we make our song: Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia. Give rest, O Christ, to your servants with your saints." He said.
Once again everyone gathered responded with "Where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting." Father Dan finished and the bagpipes began.
At the graveside Chris clutched his sons' hands as Ashley was placed above the grave. Father Dan began the final phase of the funeral the last time Chris would ever see Ashley's casket. The rain began to fall again and Chris knew Ashley was at peace. "I am the resurrection and the life: he that believes in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever lives and believes in Me shall never die."
He paused and nodded as the casket was lowered a bit and the Canticle Benedictus was said by Father Dan. "Blessed be the Lord the God of Israel who has come to his people and set them free. He has raised up for us a mighty Savior, born of the house of his servant David. Through his holy prophets God promised of old to save us from our enemies, from the hands of all that hate us, To show mercy to our ancestors, and to remember his holy covenant. This was the oath God swore to our father Abraham: to set us free from the hands of our enemies, Free to worship him without fear, holy and righteous in his sight all the days of our life. And you, child, shall be called the prophet of the Most High, for you will go before the Lord to prepare his way, To give his people knowledge of salvation by the forgiveness of all their sins. In the tender compassion of our God the dawn from on high shall break upon us, To shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace."
There was silence once again and Father Dan pulled out a small vile of holy water. "Let us say the Lord's Prayer. Our Father who art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy kingdom come thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil." The crowd stopped and Father Dan intoned. "For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. For ever and ever Amen."
Chris nodded and said. "I will miss you Ashley." He walked forward with his sons and all three tossed their roses onto the casket. As everyone else did Father Dan said. "Grant this mercy, O Lord, we beseech Thee, to Thy servant departed, that he may not receive in punishment the requital of his deeds who in desire did keep Thy will, and as the true faith here united him to the company of the faithful, so may Thy mercy unite him above to the choirs of angels. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
The final petition made by the Father Dan was "May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace."
Chris sighed it was all over, he and the boys walked to the limo. When they arrived home all three stripped to their boxers and climbed into the large bed. Chris in the middle and Austin and Noah on either side of him. They slept well for the first time since Ashley's passing.