A/N: Here is chapter two! Hopefully this gets a little more interesting. Thanks to vreader for reviewing chapter one! X-Mas hug! Merry Christmas everyone!
"Ride her!" a voice shouted, deep and frustrated, "Don't let her get away with that!"
"I'm trying!" I shouted, yanking on the reins of the mare and trying to ride out another buck, but she yanked her head down and then I was slipping, falling through the air to land on my back on the soft dirt.
Despite the softness I felt the air whoosh from my lungs in a painful manner. There was a few thuds as the mare let loose a few more bucks and her hooves hit the dirt hard. I looked over, wondering when the air would come into my lungs again, trying to heave in air that wouldn't come, at the black legs dancing an angry tune upon the ground.
"Get up!" the first voiced shouted and I stood, gasping and peering at the man, my instructor, feeling a bit shocked and then suddenly with another painful whoosh air was rushing into my lungs and I took a few, heaving gasps of the air.
"I'm up," I said, wincing and rubbing my ribs and then stumbled over to the black mare. She stood still now, looking pissed and defiant as I untangled her reins and pulled them back over her head. As my arms rose of her head her teeth leapt at me and in a quick motion I gave a sharp whack on the nose.
"No biting!" I said sternly and she ignored me, as if she hadn't done anything at all. I placed my foot in her stirrup and pulled myself back up onto the saddle. I felt her back tense, and hump up but I quickly shortened my reins this time and gave her a sharp tap with my heels.
She tried to drop her head as she took a few uneasy steps forward but I held it up with both hands and gave her another squeeze, encouraging her to collect and stop walking around like she had a stick up her butt. She tossed her head, ears laid back and I spoke sharply to her and told her with as many signals as I could to stop. And she did, finally, relaxing and dropping her head just enough and relaxing her back.
"Good," the voice shouted, farther away now as the mare had been walking away from him. I turned her back towards him.
"It bit me," Faolan whispered, staring up at the rafters of the ceiling of wherever she was. The white shape moved from the corner of her vision and she turned her blue eyes to peer at the shape. She could now see it was distinctly horse shaped and looked suspiciously like a Companion. Somewhere deep inside of her she knew it was, and knew it had Chosen her, just like she knew what it was that had bitten her, but those thoughts were submerged, hiding in the mix of memories all melding together in her head.
:Yes: Raul answered, flicking her white ears in Fao's direction. She stood in front of the fire, relaxed, her hide shimmering orange from the glow. Now Fao knew how it was so warm in here. Her legs were long, and her head a little too large. She wasn't full grown, there was no way she could be. She was perhaps the size of a large pony. Not even thirteen hands.
"You shouldn't be here," Faolan said, thinking of the mare who'd bucked her off. It seemed so long ago… too long. She frowned- she could clearly remember three years of life, and none of it involved riding horses… when had that occurred?
The small girl's hair spread out on a old white pillow, short cropped and bright red, like the fire burning in the fireplace with a passion like the emotions running through Fao's soul.
:I know: Raul answered, blue eyes gazing in Fao's direction, :But if I wasn't, neither would you.:
:What's going on: Fao asked, but she knew the answer. Raul knew she knew it too, but she said it anyway, because they both needed to hear it.
:You'll know when you heal.:
Faolan closed her eyes, hiding the blue orbs that shone like Raul's. Darkness enveloped her and her hands clenched into fists. But what am I healing from? she wondered and unconsciously reached across her bare chest, warm and smooth, and felt the puncture wounds. They were just scabs now, although oozing and damp scabs. The dried blood was gone.
:There's too much in my head: Faolan told the Companion as she started to drift once more into sleep, :Where did it come from? Why do I know so much:
:You'll know when you heal.:
Three weeks passed, and Faolan felt something changing inside her. Her mind still felt like a pile of mud, but her body was solid once more. It knew where it was, it knew what it was doing. It called on her for food, for waste removal, and it could sense something changing. It felt like an itch, one she couldn't scratch, and she found herself staring at the door to the one room shelter she was in, wondering what it looked like outside with a passion that surprised herself.
"Am I healed, Raul?" Fao asked, sitting up in the bed that swamped her. She was wearing her underclothes now, and the warm cotton shirt covered the scaring tissue in her shoulder.
:Do you think you are: the white shape in the corner asked.
:I don't understand what's in my head: Faolan confided, turning her gaze from the door to meet the Companions, and she shivered. Raul's gaze was so intense, it reminded her of someone that she didn't know. A man, a Captain in an army… But she had left… before… something. Anything. His eyes were so intense and Faolan could see him clearly in her mind.
"I've never been in the army," Faolan whispered, fingering the quilt, "I didn't know what an army was until I met you. Until I came here."
:Then something has changed, hasn't it: Raul said, stepping closer and breathing horsey breath into Fao's hair, messing it up further.
Faolan reached up a small hand and ran it down the filly's face, looking more at her own small hands, that seemed so tiny against the Companion. She couldn't reach the filly's ears if Raul touched her nose to Fao's shoulder, her arms were that short. Part of her said this was normal, but a hundred other parts shouted out in confusion, and swamped her with images of horses… so many horses.
But Raul isn't a horse, Faolan thought and then a memory pulled over her and she fell backwards onto the bed, images flashing before her eyes…
There was a chiming, soft and confident; I could just make it out. What was it? I peered over the heads of the children- my children and looked for the white that the chiming heralded. Sure enough, walking along the cobblestones, there was the Herald. He sat straight in his saddle, tall and as confident as the chiming suggested. The mare he rode had a calm and content expression on her face and I wondered if I'd ever seen a horse look as happy as that mare looked, that day.
The children ran forward and I turned around, going back into the bakery and the scents of bread, cooking and cold. Flour coated my arms, burly with muscle from kneading dough and keeping a fire going all day long for years and years. Despite the wrinkles upon my face my hands were still strong, and I knew, or rather, hoped, that they'd stay strong long enough for my children to take over the bakery…
"No," Faolan murmured, as she woke. Raul still stood above her and she slowly pulled herself back into a sitting position, her head aching and the room blurry. As it came into focus she thought about what she'd just remembered with a sinking, cold feeling in her stomach.
Everything was wrong about it. Yet it wasn't as intense and real as him, nothing like him. Those memories were content and old, like parchment turning brown. They were important, but had moved on, and no longer mattered. However, when she thought of that Captain, something inside her shifted, and she knew that those memories were fresh… they'd happened recently and still vied for her attention, still rung out with a thousand lost possibilities.
"Do you see them?" Faolan asked, turning her eyes onto the Companion and then, as if seeing Raul for the first time, she asked, "Did you Choose me?"
:Yes: Raul said and then Fao remembered, and she blushed, for once knowing she wondered how she could not have known…
:No: a voice screamed and then the weight of the wolf was off Faolan's back, but the pain still raged through her body, spreading like hot oil and permeating every cell and fiber of her body.
After what seemed like ages later, and Fao had the feeling that something had happened where she couldn't see it, growling and neighing, a white shape appeared above her. She could see it through the pain, blurred and red vision and she squinted, trying to decipher it.
:You can't go: the voice said, warm and soft, like an older sister, and comforting, :You can't go yet Faolan. Because I am Choosing you, and you are my Chosen.:
Faolan didn't have time to respond because that was when she finally succumbed to the blackness inside her mind that promised safety, promised an end to the pain, and promised a place where'd she never be unhappy and never have to worry again. But something held from sinking totally in, like a white glowing line. And finally she followed it out again…
"Raul?" Fao hugged
the filly's nose, pressing her cheek against the velvety hairs and
closing her eyes, "Raul…."
:I'm here: Raul answered
as Fao inhaled the deep horsey scent.
"Are those memories from other lives?"
:It's possible: Raul conceded and Fao looked up at her, her young face serious and somehow more intelligent and understanding that it had been… before. It was more mature, with the knowledge of years that couldn't exist in her eyes.
"The ones, the old ones, are from lives long ago," Fao said and then leaned back to peer at her hands, and almost superimposed she could see her old arms, strong and ready to bake bread and she thought she could make a fine loaf even now.
"The new ones," she finally said, "The ones that feel like fresh bread, but not yet tasted, are from the life I was in before this one."
And she thought of the war. And the Captain with his intense eyes burning into hers. What had happened to him? If that was her last life, then that would have been about four years ago, and she knew this was unearthly certainty, despite the fact that she knew the rest of her lives were spaced about every hundred years or so. Why had she come back again so soon? Was that why her memories had been close enough to the surface to be brought back by a traumatic experience?
:I think you may be right: Raul said a moment later, her voice wrapping through Fao's skull, touching the memories and giving Fao and mental hug, :And that's a lot to deal with for a three year old.:
:I don't feel three: Faolan said, and just that statement in its own was not one of a three year old's.
:You never will: Raul told her, and Fao felt the Companion sifting through her thoughts and memories, :You shall probably always have trouble controlling your emotions, although Empathy training will help that. Many people will seem strangely familiar to you and you will never feel your age. You will probably have a stronger understanding of what's important than most and have uncommon knowledge about things you've never learned. You understand, I know, that you mustn't let others know about this.:
:I don't know if I can act three…: Fao started to say but as she said it she knew she could, because being three was even more real than the memories of the war. They were the ones that were real, and Fao realized she could submerge the memories, let them sink back into the corners of her mind unless something brought one forth, but when they were all back there, the extras, she could feel three, sort of. She could most certainly act three if it came to it, but she didn't really want to.
:Are we going to go to Haven: Fao asked a moment later, curling up under her quilts and looking up at Raul.
:Not yet: the filly answered, :It depends. For now, it is best we stay here. Or at least, in places like this.:
Faolan didn't need to ask why, but before those memories had been the submerged one. She knew why Raul didn't want to go to places not like this one. What made this place special was that it was in the middle of nowhere. Despite not having seen the outdoors of this shelter, she knew all she'd see would be woods, and that's all she'd see for miles and miles in any direction. And that was because she might not be safe in populated areas. Or rather, the populaces of those areas might not be safe… from her.
From me, Faolan thought and she stared at the door, feeling a deep desire stirring within her, a need to be out…