A/N: Here is the next chapter! Tomorrow is the last day of the semester! I own nothing except Faolan as a character and Valdemaren werewolves. And now... thanks muchly to:
Stormy Phoenix- Yeah, I hope it continues to 'pull you in'. I try and make each chapter include something new.
mugglepirate- It'll be fun to write that!
Kathleen McCrory- Read on and you shall have your answer about yon bow. XD.
Mad-4-Manga- Thank you! I try and bring in new ideas to my fanfics so they aren't just Vanyel repeat types of things.
Ray Ven Hakubi- I think this is either before Brightly Burning or after... not sure. It probably won't come up but its before Selenay... if only for the reason that I haven't read the Owl books yet. I've been meaning to though! Once I've updated my reading I'm greatly interested in bringing in Mage stuff. For now, alas, I'm sticking to the Gifted. XD.

"The bow needs working on," Fao said as they came back into the Waystation and she hurriedly picked up the piece of wood resting by the door way and a small knife they'd found in the stores.

:Faolan: Raul spoke, her voice stern and controlled.

Fao dropped both wood and knife and sat down heavily on the floor before muttering, "I don't want to."

:You must: Raul urged, stepping close to the child and nudging her comfortingly. Fao leaned her head against the filly's nose and sighed, closing her eyes.

"I don't want to," she whispered and then hugged Raul tightly before letting go and standing up to walk across the room.

Raul made to move after her and then Fao suddenly leapt up onto the bed and grabbed the pillow with a giggle, hiding behind it.

"You can't catch me!" she shouted from behind the pillow and a pair of round blue eyes peeked out from above it, playful and daring.

:Faolan, now is not the time: Raul reprimanded, stepping over and grabbing the pillow in her teeth, intending to take it away but Faolan hung on and was suddenly dangling above the floor, her hands clenched onto the pillow.

"Why not?" Fao shouted up at Raul, "Why not Raul? Let's have some fun and then go to the dangerous parts. I'm not forgetting what I have to do, I know what this means. I may look three Raul and it may be easy for you to forget that I'm not, but I never forget Raul. My memories permeate my every thought, movement and action and I can't escape them."

:I'm sorry: Raul said and dropped the pillow onto the bed, along with Fao, making the girl squeal with delight as she landed with a thud, jumping back up again immediately, her eyes dancing, the pillow still clenched before her like a shield.

"Let's play chase," she said and jumped off the bed, running under Raul's legs and pushing her way out the door and into the night's darkness. Her eyes easily adjusted from many nights practice and she weaved through the trees away from the glowing rectangle that was the door to the Waystation.

She heard a neigh behind her and glanced back to see a white form weaving after her, and she darted off to the right, hiding behind trees and sneaking around. The odd game of chase, heightened by both's magnitude of experience and senses, continued on for almost two more hours, with Raul unable to find her Chosen using only her senses, and Faolan unable to quite get away.

Tired and warm, Raul finally returned to the Waystation to find Faolan flopped on the bed, staring at the ceiling and stripped down to only her underpants, her small form glistening with sweat. Her expression was triumphant and happy.

"That was fun," she said quietly, her voice weak with fatigue.

:How much longer do you need to rest?: Raul inquired, kicking the door shut and then nudging a new log onto the fire that had burned ever since they first came to the place. Soon, it would no longer be needed, a mark of their time spent there…

Flash, through the darkness, dodge the trees, guide the horse…I leaned over the gelding's neck and urged him faster. I could barely see, but the darkness enveloped me anyway. Then, as I sensed something else in the woods I pulled the gelding to a halt and slipped off, my eyes straining in the darkness. A sudden fear ran through me.

Would he be all right? I wondered, thinking of leaving my Captain there, all alone with the enemy moving slowly towards us through the trees.

"Name?" a voice hissed and I felt a form press against my back and a dagger press against my throat and I let out a sigh of relief. It was only the border guard, checking me.

"Carry Rolf," I said and he let me go, giving me a friendly smile. I went back and retrieved the gelding, feeling now safe that I was back in camp and could look forward to a warm bed. If only Raleigh… I shook those thoughts away and rode all the way into camp and straight to the command tent, where I dismounted and handed the maps to a man who waited outside. He gave me a terse nod and disappeared and my job was done.

I took the gelding over to the picketing line and made sure he was comfortable- and he didn't need much, before going to my own tent, one I still shared with a comrade, unlike many others… whose comrades were dead.

:Faolan:

The girl opened her eyes and looked up at the Companion hovering over her and nodded slowly with a yawn before saying, "I must have been more tired than I thought. I'm ready now."

She sat up and stretched, the memories that had flashed through her mind in symmetry to her current doings already fading and she looked to Raul for direction. The filly was tense and looked slightly uneasy.

:I suppose there isn't much I can tell you. You know what it's like to change… so do it: Raul said and stepped back as Fao nodded, a cold fist of fear tightening around her stomach.

She looked up, searching for the moon in the sky without her eyes and yes, there it was. Me, she whispered to it, calling to it and letting it fill up her skin. And then the itching started, the itch before the pain, but Faolan didn't stop, she only let the wolf inside of her grow, let it push its way out. It was tempting to quench it down, squelch it inside of her, as she did every month when the moon grew strong. But she took a deep breath and let the change consume her, let the pain begin to rip through her body.

"No!" she screamed at one point as the pain became almost unbearable, and she shouted because if she didn't she'd really stop it.

And then, she was a wolf. A young wolf, as always, and more cute than ferocious, but a wolf nevertheless. But it was different, because the moon was weak, its power not as strong over her as it was on the nights she was forced the change. She felt angry, but it wasn't as forced, didn't feel so much like someone else's rages pouring out through her.

Faolan looked up at Raul, confused inside her now wolfish mind. And then she glared and her lips raised into a snarl. For it was Raul now that forced her into this form, that put her under the power of the moon and made her go through the pain of the change!

You, she thought darkly and dropped off the bed to curl around the Companion's long legs, inhaling the horse-like scent with something akin to hunger. And then she let her jaw drop open, glancing up at the Companion as she did so. Had she noticed? Not yet…

Whirling around Faolan's jaws snapped at the Companion's leg, but met hoof, solid and unbitable. She dug her teeth in anyway, disgusted at the lack of blood in her mouth. And then the leg thrashed out and she flew across the room, hitting the door with a low thud and sliding to the ground. It left her uninjured; the fling was done with almost not force at all.

:Don't bite me: Raul said, her mind voice as ferocious as Faolan's growl, :Don't you dare bite me Faolan! Have you lost all your senses?:

Yes actually, Faolan thought but did not say, I have… She snarled in response to Raul but didn't move, staying limp and curled at the foot of the door.

:My love you for will not hold me back in protecting the two of us: she warned, :So do not think I will be a pushover.:

I don't think that, Faolan mused and then stood up, sniffing at the foot of the door. She could smell the night out there, and longed to be in it. And perhaps tonight, with Spring around the corner, she'd find a nice juicy young animal to feast on. It would be a welcome after so much oatmeal and preserved bread.

:Wait: Raul said and Faolan stepped out of the way as the Companion moved over to the door and nudged up the latch with her nose, pushing it open.

It seems like it would be so easy, Faolan thought as she trotted out of the door past the four white pillar legs, To just bite one. Ah well… I suppose Valdemar isn't ready for Companion-Werewolves.

At that amusing notion Faolan felt extremely cheerful, so much so that she didn't mind her paws sinking into the mud, in fact, she enjoyed it. There wasn't much to be angry about, either that or the moon was as potent, but Faolan did not run around in a blind rage.

She stopped, about twenty feet from the Waystation and looked backwards, at the white shape silhouetted and glowing from the fire within, and she knew Raul would not pursue her this night. However, Faolan realized with a twinge of guilt, that was because Raul expected her to try and control her wolfish self, when it was her human self that really needed controlling.

She shook her head with a sneeze through her nose and then continued, feeling the blue eyes of the Companion upon her until she was too far from the Waystation to be seen, until she was out of sight…

Later…

The sun was rising but the moon still hung in the sky, low albeit, but still there, and Faolan wondered if she'd just turn back when the moon was gone or if she'd have to initiate the change herself, the way she had turned herself. The idea of changing back wasn't very appealing.

She lay on a rock, dry, her head resting on her paws and her blue eyes peering at the eastern horizon and the pink and orange glow that could be seen through the trees. It's quite pretty, she was thinking and then yawned, rolling over onto her back and stretching before returning to her musings.

Maybe I could stay a wolf, she thought and snarled with delight at this, And just run off, forever a werewolf bringing terror through Valdemar! And with the war, I could start turning soldiers into werewolves and then there'd BE no Valdemar anymore!

But her emotions turned at this thought and she stood up, staring darkly at the sunrise and feeling decidedly sleepy. No Valdemar, she thought again and felt a twinge of pain deep inside her and something asked, But don't you want to be a Herald?

No! Faolan snarled and leapt off the rock, all sleepiness gone as she pounced on a rude appearing stick and sunk her teeth deep into her- but it wasn't blood and it just made her angrier. So she tore off, running through the trees away from the sunrise as if she wished to outrun it and live in night forever.

And then, up ahead she saw a brown building and she slowed, the hair on her back raising in deep suspicion. She had lost all sense of direction- was it possible that she had found her way back to the Waystation? She supposed so, and crept forward slowly, her paws as light as faeries upon the wet leaves and sticks- there was no mud off the path.

She could smell Companion, and human as she neared, and she slowly crept around the side, brushing against the damp wood until she reached the door. It was open, and Faolan peered inside to see Raul, her end to the door, dozing and gazing into the fire. She did not see Faolan.

How strange… Faolan thought, To be gazing in upon the life I had with the knowledge that I will never have it again.

And something inside her switched and before she could stop herself she was darting inside, leaving wet and muddy paw prints on the floor and she was leaping up onto the bed and curling up with the pillow and changing herself back, faster than she ever had before, ignoring the pain and she following the need to be human again…

"I hate my wolf self," Faolan croaked once the change was over and Raul was standing over her, her eyes concerned and curious. Bits of leaves and twigs and mud and water still stuck to her bare skin and she felt thoroughly dirty and in need of a good bath. Not to mention the sheets would need cleaning as well.

:Well… yes. You are a bit of a work in that form, Faolan: Raul agreed with a tilt of her head and a smile in her voice.

"I wish I wasn't," Faolan said, her voice dull like her eyes, "I can still feel her inside me, angry and plotting. I don't want to have something like that in me. It's like there are now two me's one a wolf and the other human, but I can't get rid of either one and in both forms I'm forced to suffer the consequences of what I've done in the opposite!"

:There are not two Faolans: Raul said softly, nudging Faolan with a soft nose, :There is only one, and she is sitting right before me. The wolf form, it only allows you to release feelings you have as a human without guilt or shame. Those feelings are still real and understandable and cannot be ignored or dismissed as the workings of the moon. All that your curse can do to you is put you into another form where the paths of thought are changed, it cannot create emotions.:

Faolan closed her eyes, feeling her stomach curl at those words with a horrible guilt and she curled up, unable to look at Raul as she whispered, "Then that means on some level it's really me that hates you?"

:Yes: Raul said, her voice holding a hint of sadness, :But that is truly natural for a human. Under normal conditions you would be able to reason your way through and dismiss such thoughts, however, your wolf form will continue to bring them back again. I'm afraid you might have to convince yourself as wolf why you needn't be angry, and sometimes anger has logic on her side- I will help as I can.:

"I don't want to change again," Faolan said with a shudder.

:Then you are not facing yourself: Raul said sharply and Fao opened her eyes in surprise, :You are not three years old, although you may feel it! You have the strength of centuries behind you, and even if I will be the only one to remind you of this in Haven, I will still remind you! I don't expect you to change soon, but I do expect you to take on some of the burdens of someone of your true age, not all, because in some ways you are three years old, but I would not have Chosen you if you were nothing but three years old.:

"Sorry," Faolan whispered, squeezing her eyes shut again, "It's just… it's so easy to feel resentment and push away hard work, it's so easy to feel you're being too hard on me."

:That is where you are three: Raul said, :And you will have to learn again how to control your emotions, although I don't doubt you will learn much quicker than most. But I have confidence in you, Faolan.:

"Okay," Faolan said and sat up, opening her eyes once more to stare deep within Raul's deep blue ones, "I won't let you down."