KEN-CHAN'S BIRTHDAY
IT'S A PANTY PINATA PARTY!
ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY
- YACHIRU
PRESIDENT OF THE SHINIGAMI WOMEN'S ASSOCIATION

It wasn't as if the party was really a surprise. As much as Yachiru insisted it was. What with walking in on Kuchiki-Hime flat out refusing to host "such a distasteful and debase gathering" on his precious property during one of the Gotei-13 meetings. Good ol' Ukitake had come to Yachiru's rescue by offering to hold the party at the 13th Division, where there were plenty of trees to hang the pinata. Not that Ukitake said all that, Kenpachi just filled in the blanks as captain of the 13th Division disappointed Byakuya. Kenpachi could take or leave most of the other captains in the Gotei-13. But he had to admit, he liked how Ukitake was unafraid of the 9th Division captain's wrath.

As the party progressed, Kenpachi wondered to himself how the idea of a party came about. Yachiru was the President of the Shinigami Women's Association but it was doubtful she would make them throw him a party unless she had encouragement. The vice-president, Shunsui's straight-laced vice-captain, definitely wouldn't have suggested a party, much less one with a pinata. Kenpachi gave a snort of laughter at that idea. Yumichika, his fifth-seat, gave him a side-long glance at that. The captain of the 4th Division, Unohana Retsu, was chairwoman, and despite his suspicions that she wasn't as prim as she led on, Kenpachi also doubted she was the source of the idea. Now, Mayuri's weird-ass daughter, Nemu, he could believe she would come up with something like this if Yachiru asked her.

Normally Zaraki wouldn't care, but there was the fatherly side of him that just wouldn't let it go. Yachiru would be happy with anything that would give her candy. It didn't matter to her if the pinata was in the shape of a pair of women's panties. She was still too young and innocent to see the inappropriateness. Not that anybody would ever accuse any member of the 11th Division of appropriateness, much less their Captain and vice-captain.

After the food had been devoured and most of the sake poured, Yachiru bounced over to where he was seated.
"Ken-chan! Ken-chan! It's time for you to kill the pinata!"
"Che, all right, all right," Zaraki took his time getting to his feet. Yachiru grabbed his hand and tugged him impatiently toward the tree where the panty pinata was awaiting in all it's horrifyingly huge pink glory. "You just can't wait to get at that candy." He growled at the pink-haired girl.
"Yep!" She chirped as she smiled up at him, brightly.

He let her drag him through the crowd of guests. He noticed that Gin was there with his ever-present grin on his face, standing between his faithful vice-captain, Kira and long-time pal, Matsumoto. Matsumoto gave him a sloppy wave, splashing some of her sake on Gin's head, as Yachiru led him by. Just ahead, Byakuya was pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering about "do get on with it." Kenpachi had to grin at that and he clapped his free hand on Byakuya's shoulder.
"Don't worry. I'll slay the abomination for ya!"
The sake was freeing some inhibitions because that got a scattering of laughter. Byakuya gave the shoulder Kenpachi had touched a withering glare, then turned it to Kenpachi himself. He scowled and opened his mouth to speak.
"My hero!" Someone declared in a falsetto voice. Byakuya looked mortified, snapped his mouth closed and looked away, nose in the air.
Kenpachi could only chuckle and silently thank whoever that was for making his birthday right there.

Ukitake handed Kenpachi a bokken (wooden practice sword). With a bow and a sweeping gesture toward the pinata, Ukitake discreetly distanced himself from the impending carnage. Zaraki fixed the pinata with a menacing stare, raised the bokken above his head and launched himself at it. There was a thunderous crack and the immediate vicinity was showered with bits of pink paper mache and candy.
"Yay! Candy!" Yachiru jumped up and down. "Happy Birthday, Ken-chan!" She beamed up at him for the hundredth time that day, this time with arms full of candy. He placed his large hand on the crown of her head and smiled back down at her.
"Thanks, Yachiru."

Then he'd left the party to the rest of the Gotei-13. He'd had enough of socializing. He decided to spend some time on the roof of the 11th Division's office. He had not been there too long when he heard the sound of Yachiru's voice in the distance.
"Shiro-chan! Shiro-chan! Have some candy with us!"
Us?
"Ne, ne. Toshiro-kun! You must help us celebrate by sharing our candy!" It was Ukitake's voice. The ol' boy was somehow managing to keep up with Yachiru on a sugar-rush. Zaraki shook his head and chuckled some more. He almost felt bad for the Captain of the 10th Division, with those two on his trail.

"Wanna bet they make poor Hitsugaya-kun bankai?"
Kenpachi turned his head so see Gin padding silently across the roof toward him.
"Yachiru will think this is the best day ever, if he does that." He smirked at the thought as Gin seated himself beside him.
"Well, how'd you like the party?"
Zaraki didn't answer, his face became neutral and he gazed out at the night sky. Gin was never patient at the best of time, get some sake and sugar in him and he was very impatient. It wasn't long before Gin was jabbing his big toe under Zaraki's ribs.
"Well?"
"So it was you."
"Of course it was me. Who else could get the Shinigami Women's Association to throw you a surprise panty pinata party? And I didn't even tell them the rules."
"Rules?"
"Yeah. You see, you're supposed to be blind-folded before you hit the pinata. Makes it more of a challenge."
"No way are you getting a blind-fold on me, Gin. Not after the last time!" [1]
"I know, I know! Sheesh, why do you think I didn't tell them the rules?"
"Hn."
"Sooo. How'd you like the party?"
"I was better than the one I threw you."
Gin shrugged. "I'm still grateful you dissuaded Yumichika." [2]
Kenpachi propped himself up on an elbow "Do it again."
Gin's grin got wider.
"Come on, it was the highlight of the party."
Gin straighten his posture and his captain's robe. He clasped his hands together dramatically.
"My hero!"

END
[1] See chapter 002 Middles
[2] See Ichmaru Gin Birthday Special 2008

Author's Note:
Gah! You probably thought I'd forgot all about this. I haven't! It is a semi-constant source of guilt to me that I have neglected these characters. How I love Zaraki Kenpachi and I hope that I've done a better job of this birthday special than I did on Gin's. Even though it's a year late. Yes, the idea was inspired by the "Big Bang Theory" episode title: The Panty Pinata Polarization over a year ago. I think that I would not have written as good a birthday special if I had tried writing it last year. I hope this was worth the wait! Thank you for reading!