I OWN NOTHING. TWILIGHT IS STEPH'S BABY...

{BPOV}

I wandered next to the woods by our house for what seemed like hours. I had no idea what time it was. The sky was dark and the moon barely lit my path. If I had any concern for my safety at the moment, it paled in comparison to my fear of going into that house. I was still numb. I couldn't believe I was outside, in the cold, debating if I should return to the only home I had ever known.

I chewed the nail on my thumb as I paced the edge of our lawn. I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. I could go to a shelter for the night, but I dismissed the thought as soon as it formed. I didn't want Angela to get wind of this. I didn't want anyone to know about Charlie hitting me. The wind picked up and swirled my hair around my shoulders. I never put it back up after leaving Edward's house. I had been too enthralled with being near him, in his arms. At the thought of Edward, I felt the tears well up again.

This was the very reason why I couldn't continue with him. My life was shit and I couldn't drag him down with me. I shook off any thoughts of Edward Cullen and focused on what was in front of me. Should I try to go back in? I looked at the house and the lights were still on. I didn't see any movement inside. Maybe Charlie went to bed, and I could rush upstairs to my room. I just needed to get inside my room, surround myself with my things. Some kind of normal to center me again. My fingers itched. I wanted to play right now. I closed my eyes. My violin helped me work out my emotions. I played endlessly when my mother died. I would sit night after night, running the stick over Lucy's strings, the sound comforting me when my own father couldn't.

I played my violin so much it drove Charlie insane. He would take off out the front door as soon as the first notes drifted downstairs. He was trying, then, to work through his own pain. Having no idea how to comfort his fifteen year old daughter when he could not comfort himself. I never resented him for that. I knew he loved my mother and couldn't function without her. She was special, one of a kind. He was in the dark, his light taken from him.

I could still see the anger on my dad's face. The empty eyes. I shuddered again, not knowing if it was the cold breeze, or the fear I felt when he hit me. When he accused me of ruining the life he had. I couldn't figure that one out.

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. I was going back. I had no choice. Five months, Issy. Five months. You can do this, you can make it until graduation, leaving this shit far behind. I held my breath and opened the door slowly, hoping it didn't creak. I released it when there was no sound or movement inside the house. My eyes passed, anxiously, around the room. The coast was clear. I ran as fast as I could up the stairs, shutting and locking the door quickly behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and lay my forehead against the wood of my door. At least I'm in my room now. My haven for the moment.

I quickly wash up and changed into be night clothes. I looked at my face in my bathroom mirror, and I hold back a moan. My face was completely bruised on the right side of my face. My lip split and swollen. I ran my tongue, hesitantly, across the cut and I winced at the tenderness. That was going to feel fucking fabulous when I woke up. Disgusted with myself and my dad, I shut out the light to my bathroom and crawled into bed. My clock said it was now two o'clock in the morning. My body was so tired and my brain was fried. I had been through so many phases of emotions today that I couldn't wrap my mind around them. I got as comfortable as I could on my old mattress, being careful to lie on the side of my face that didn't hurt. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to welcome the oblivion I knew would give me a reprieve from this nightmare.

I drifted off to sleep, with the image of green eyes and bronzed hair.

My fingers were flying over the strings and I was bowing frantically. I was punishing myself. Driving the anger and fear out of me. The music swelled through out my room, shouting out my anger at Charlie for hitting me. Shouting at my mother for leaving us broken and lost.

I could feel the tension in my shoulders loosening. Lucy was the best therapy I could buy. She listened to everything I had to say patiently, without judgement. I could feel the music flow through me like a balm over my tattered soul. My violin spoke volumes, sending out my message to anyone who cared to know about my frustration, my pain.

I shouldn't have to do this dammit! I shouldn't have to be comforted by a fucking piece of wood. Curses were flying through my head. I never had the courage to say those words aloud. I started doing that when momma caught me screaming obscenities at the television when I was little. Soap tasted horrible, so I learned to keep those thoughts to myself.

I finished the piece abrubtly, my breathing fast and erratic, my hair falling in my flushed face. My fucking face was killing me. It was sore like I knew it would be. I had taken a couple of ibuprofen this morning when I awoke. Not that it was doing much good. I sat Lucy on top of my dresser and flopped on my bed. I hadn't seen or heard from Charlie today, and I was fucking okay with that. I touched my fingers to my swollen face and thanked God that I didn't have school for another two days. I didn't think I could hide this from everyone there. I could just see them staring at me, wondering who or what beat the living hell out of me. I couldn't face Edward like this.

Edward. God, how I wanted to be in his arms right now. I wanted to be back in that place where we were locked into each other again. That bubble that was just the two of us. I hadn't heard from him, either. I didn't expect to. I didn't have a cell phone, and I would be surprised as shit if he showed up at the front door. He was still a puzzle to me. I didn't quite know what to think about this..... thing we had. Was it a thing? I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to act, seeing him at school. In the light of day, so to speak. The things he did to me last night were still so fresh in my mind.

For my first time with sex... it was amazing. Probably more than I could have asked for. I had overheard plenty of girls rehashing horror stories about losing their virginity. I was happy that my experience was a good one. He was patient and gentle when he had no reason to be. I never felt fear, and the pain wasn't anywhere near to what my face felt like today. His body was gorgeous. I recalled the long, lean lines, the muscles that flexed and moved under his smooth skin as he moved over me, in me. I felt myself tingle with anticipation. I couldn't wait to see him again.

Monday morning dawned the same as any day. Cold and wet. The bruising on my face had faded, and I only had a small scab on the corner of my lip. It would do. I got to school and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I wanted to kiss him again. See if we still had that connection. Would he ignore me? I had no clue, he didn't say if he was still with Tanya or not. We didn't really talk about the future with me. We really didn't talk about anything at all. It was like he was..a mystery.

I should feel ashamed for sleeping with someone else's boyfriend, but I couldn't find it in me to care. That thought made me feel even worse. It would break my heart if Edward slept with someone else. Even though Tanya was snide to me now, it didn't mean that what we did was right. So much for not caring. Was he going through the same thoughts that I was? Was he going to break up with her? I needed to talk to him.

English class felt different. This time, instead of just gazing longingly at Edward's head of sex hair, I knew what it felt like, how it smelled. I knew the sounds he made when he was turned on. When he came. My heart sped up, and I clamped my legs together in a pathetic attempt to control my arousal. Get a hold of yourself, Issy. Jesus, he wasn't even in the room yet.

Edward sauntered through the door and went directly to his seat. He didn't look around the room to see if I was here or not. He didn't acknowledge that I even existed. His gaze stayed forward, like he couldn't wait for class to start. I sat in the back and slumped in my chair. I decide to wait. I had no idea what to say to him, anyway, right now. So I did the same thing Edward was doing. Pretending like nothing happened between us.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Lunch with Angela was good as always, we kept our conversation simple and low key. I relished my lunch of pepperoni pizza. I would have to grab something at the diner on my break for dinner. I didn't see Edward for the rest of the day. We only had the first class of the day together, so this wasn't unusual, but I would still like to think that he would want to talk to me, let me know that Friday night wasn't all in my head.

The final bell rang and I headed to my locker with my mind still on what I was going to say when, if, I saw him again. I opened my locker and a note fell out on the floor. I bent to retrieve it when I heard an animal call. Like a cow mooing. I stood up quickly and ducked behind my locker. I could hear guys laughing as they passed me. The motherfuckers. Assholes! I wasn't fat dammit! My eyes welled up and I forced the tears back. I wouldn't give these son of bitches the satisfaction. Edward didn't care, in fact, he liked my curves. I could still remember how he hated that I had tried to hide my body from him. How he wanted to see me, touch me. He never once made me feel bad about myself that night. At that, I smiled and returned my attention to the note.

It was from Edward. In an attractive scrawl there was only one line. I'll meet you at the diner tonight, Issy girl. He had simply signed it with an "E". His handwriting was just as beautiful as he was. I cringed when I thought of my own chicken scratch. Let's hope we wouldn't write too many letters.

My spirits instantly lifted, I walked to work with a spring in my step. Nothing was solved just yet, but I felt better than I had all weekend. Charlie never came home and, for the moment, I didn't care. After what he did, I would never look at my father in the same way. I chose to bask in the fact that Edward still wanted to see me.

Work passed in the same way as school. Fucking slow. I kept my eyes on the door, my stomach flipping every time I heard the sound of that bell go off. Everybody else was normal but me today. My body felt different. I hummed under my breath to some tune I heard from the jukebox. Jake was his usual self, joking and laughing. I caught him, a couple of times, looking at me with curiosity. Maybe he wondered what had put me in such a good mood. A hot guy and mind blowing orgasms could do that to a girl.

Edward never came. I finished up my shift, and put on my coat giving Jake and Mrs. Cope a wave goodbye. As I pushed the door open, I tried to keep my spirits up. The note from him still in my pocket, mocking me. Maybe something came up? I stopped abruptly. There, in the same position as before, was Edward. Casually leaning up against his car. My heart stopped at how good he looked. He had on a light green sweater underneath his black leather jacket. His jeans, encasing his long legs, a dark wash. Edward's was hair still a controlled chaos, the crooked smile breaking out when he saw me. His eyes met mine and they held.... anticipation?

"Hey," he said softly. His voice just as deep and smooth as I remembered.

"Hey," I returned softly, a blush creeping up my cheeks. I probably looked like shit. He was so put together, and so.... Edward.

"Are you going to stand on the sidewalk all night, or are you going to come over here?" A teasing smile tugged at the corner of his lips. That chocolate rich voice coaxing me to walk the short distance that separated us.

I gave him a shy smile. "No, I was just waiting to see if I was welcomed." I walked towards him and he opened his arms. I'm engulfed in his smell again and I bury my face in his chest. This was the best place on the planet. His hand runs softly down my braid while the other rubbed my back. I sigh in contentment. He's here and wanted to see me again. I had to keep from laughing in joy. Oh hell...If I wasn't careful, I would puke at my sappiness.

"Of course you're welcomed, Issy girl...," He rubbed his cheek against the top of my head, inhaling my scent just like I did his.

"Always," he whispered. He opened the door for me and I took my place in his car.

"So where were you, today, at school? I didn't see you." I couldn't contain it any longer.

"We only have the one class together. Mine are mostly on the other side of the building." Edward turned the heater up and fixed his music. That must be important to him. I asked him about it and he told me how much he loved music. He told me of his favorite bands, the concerts he had been to. I sat back and let him talk, loving the passion he held for it. He told me of his mom who taught him how to play the piano when he was a little boy. How he had to spend Sundays with her next to him on the piano bench, patiently teaching him the notes.

"I don't play so much anymore."

"Why not?" I was soaking up everything he had to say. I wanted to know everything about him. He reached over and grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. My heart leaped in my chest. Fuck, I wanted to bottle this moment. I could pull it out later and relive it all over again.

He shrugged his broad shoulders. "I don't know. No desire to, I guess." I could have told him about me playing the violin, but I didn't want to reveal that part of myself yet. I wanted this to be about him. My story could wait. "I suppose I will, someday, but I'm really too busy with this being my last year." I nodded my head in agreement. These last few months were going to be hectic. Everyone scrambling to tie up loose ends and studying for finals.

"What college are you planning to go to?"

"Harvard." I would expect nothing less.

He talked of how his older brothers, Emmett and Jasper, used to make fun of him when he was forced to practice the piano instead of more manly pursuits like football and drinking. He didn't seem bitter about that fact. He spoke of it like it was just something he grew up with. His brothers were off in college. Jasper at Yale and Emmett at Stanford. I could hear the love he had for his family, making me even more in love with him.

My own memories of my momma were good, and I hoped when I talked about her, people could hear the same love and affection in my voice. She would like Edward, I thought. The fact that she would never meet him made me sad. I would never get to talk to my momma about boys.

He pulled up in front of his house, and this time, there were lights on. I was nervous again. Was he going to introduce me to his parents? I didn't know if I was excited about that or not. I couldn't return the favor. Charlie was all I had, and he was in no condition to meet and greet.

"Come on." Grabbing my hand again, Edward's legs ate up the distance to his front door. He seemed anxious to get inside, and my stomach flipped when I thought of why. I bit my lip and gripped his strong hand with my own, impatience showing as well. I wanted to be naked and in bed with Edward. Now. He opened the door and we stepped inside. He didn't greet anyone and just headed for the stairs, the same as the other night. I frowned and looked back, briefly, wondering why he didn't announce he was home to anybody. I wanted to ask him if anyone was home, but I was too scared to. He would tell me about them when he was ready to.

Edward opened the door to his room, turning on his bedside lamp. A soft glow filled the room and I took the time to look around. I didn't get to see much of this place the last time I was here. Only the bed. I felt my face heat up. Yeah, the last time I was here I was too busy trying to muffle my groans of pleasure. Biting his pillow. I roll my eyes.

Edward walked up to me and grasped my hips in his hands. God, he was tall. He looked down at me and gave me his smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I gave him my jacket and he lead me to his bed. His room was huge. There was a king size bed in the middle with a dark blue comforter covering it. Two book shelves lined up on one wall taking up all the space. One filled with books, the other filled with music. I state of the art sound system sat on a table in the corner. A black couch taking up the other wall. His room was clean and organized but still has his touch imprinted on everything.

I turned around and gasped. I walked toward the windows that faced the only wall left. Wow. Directly across from his bed was floor to ceiling windows looking out into the forrest and beyond. I could see, in the distance barely, the river that ran through Forks. It was too dark to see much but the view was breathtaking. How in the hell did I miss this?

He came up behind me and pushed his hips into my backside. Oh yeah, now I remember. I closed my eyes and leaned my hips into his erection. Edward let out a soft groan and nuzzled my neck. "You smell good." he said.

"I smell like the diner," I scoffed. "What you're smelling is burgers and fries. Did you eat? You could be hungry."

He gave a soft laugh and I closed my eyes, pressing my head against the cool glass. "I'm hungry, but not for food." His voice turned husky.

My eyes popped open and I made to turn to face him, but he held me against the glass. "I think I like you like this." He took my tee shirt off along with my bra. I could feel my nipples tighten against the cool air coming off the glass. I closed my eyes and caught my breath when his large, warm hands covered my breasts, gently kneading them. God. His foot pushed my feet apart and he placed my arms above my head with my palms flat against the glass. "Stay put, Issy girl," he whispered in my ear. I stifled a groan at the need I heard in his voice. I wanted him so bad.

His hands traveled down my arms, past my shoulders and, once again, settled on my breasts. "These are amazing. Full, natural." He was hypnotizing me again with his honeyed voice. It was so deep and smooth. I thought of chocolate again. He gently rolled my nipples until they hardened. I groaned softly and dropped my head back on his chest. I could feel him. His chest rising and falling slowly, that maddening scent that filled me was all man. All Edward. His hands left my breasts and travelled over my stomach, and I had to stop the urge to cover myself. My stomach was a sore spot for me.

"So soft," he said hoarsely, "You have beautiful skin, Issy." His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me back into his erection. It was just as long and thick, like I remembered. The memory of his cock moving in and out of me made my legs quiver. I wanted to see it, touch it, taste it. Would he let me? Edward placed kissed on my neck and his hands traveled to my hair. He took my hair down, undoing the braid I had done for work, spreading it around my shoulders.

"This," he ran his fingers through my hair, from root to tip, "is the most wondrous thing about you, Issy. You don't know how long I've waited to see this laid out on my pillow." He leaned in to bring a handful to his face. "It smells like... cinnamon and... vanilla." I had to hold back the instinct to purr like a cat. The feeling of his long fingers were amazing.

"And your ass..." He unbuttoned my jeans. I helped him take them off. He immediately gestured for me to move back into my position against his windows. I looked out into the night and was slightly concerned. Could anyone could see us? I doubted it. That thought left my head as soon as Edward's palm came in contact with the fleshy part of my behind, a loud smack hit my ears. It didn't hurt. In fact, it turned me on. Fuck me. Now I liked spankings. "Your ass is... perfect. Round and just enough to fill my hands." He demonstrated that by cupping it, molding it. I let out a shaky breath. Who knew my ass was a turn on too? Or maybe it was him. He turned me on period.

By now my panties are soaked, and I'm impatient to feel him inside me again. He didn't seem like he was in any hurry, still placing kisses on my shoulder blades and moving down my back. He reached my ass and gave a cheek a delicate bite. Holy... shit! My heart felt like it was coming out of my nostrils. I heard him hum to himself. "Delicious.." Edward definitely like that word. It was even more dumbfounding that he used it to describe me, my body.

He turned me to face him, my back now resting against the cool glass. He slowly lowered my panties while he kissed every each of my skin. I stepped out of them when they reached my feet. Edward stayed on his knees and lifted my left leg against his bare shoulder, leaving me open to do what he would. I could feel myself getting wetter. When had he gotten undressed? My brain was mush. At the touch of his tongue on my pussy, I grabbed his head and whimpered. He looked up at me with his green eyes capturing mine. "I told you I wasn't hungry for food."

At that he dived in. My moans were getting loader and I, briefly, wondered if he would tell me to shut the hell up. He never did. His tongue moved up and down my slit, licking like I was his favorite kind of lollipop. "You are so fucking wet, Issy. I can't wait to be inside you again. Feel you wrapped around my cock." I couldn't think when he talked dirty. It was so hot. I swallowed hard and held on for dear life.

"Please, Edward..."

He stopped and grabbed my head, kissing me so hard that my head pressed against the glass. "Please what?" His half hooded gaze, dark and filled with need. Need for me. "Say it, Issy girl. Tell me what you want." His voice was urgent and tight. His chest rising and falling rapidly, his nostrils flaring. His hair was even more untamed from my hands. I could feel the heat come off of him in waves and I was lost....

"I w-want you."

"You want me to what?" He captured my bottom lip in his teeth, nipping and soothing it with the pass of his tongue. I groaned into his mouth. Jesus fuck, I can't think. I can't put two sentences together. Why the fuck are we trying to have a conversation anyway?

"Issy.." His voice was demanding me to tell him what he wanted to hear... and I gave it.

"Fuck me, Edward."

He groaned, and swept me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. Edward had lifted me effortlessly, like I weighed nothing. Oh, he was so getting laid. He hurriedly shed his jeans and boxers, his erection springing free and pointing toward his rock hard abdomen. He was so beautiful, my hands were itching to run all over his tight body. His cock fascinated me and I licked my lips. Soon.

He kissed his way up my legs and I moved them, impatiently, trying to relieve the ache in between them. Edward placed a soft kiss against the curls covering my wet pussy and I moaned when he flicked once last time against my clit. I needed him. Now. I couldn't wait any longer.

"Please, Edward." I was practically sobbing at this point. I needed him to be inside me.

"Shhh. I'm right here, baby. I want you, too." He kissed my deeply, groaning when he settled against my wet heat. "So fucking warm," he murmured.

He pressed his cock inside me, the head barely in. My hips wiggled to get him to slide in and I heard him chuckle. "All right, Issy girl..."

He slid smoothly into me, immediately setting a fast pace. His hips slammed into mine. He grabbed the headboard with one hand while the other rubbed my clit. I cried out and wrapped my legs around his waist. He continued to pound into me, giving us both what we wanted. Hard and fast. "Oh fuck!" He grounded out. "Your so fucking tight." His strokes were long and deep. My breasts bounced with every thrust, his shoulders had I fine sheen of sweat now. His head was thrown back with his eyes closed. Perfect. Beautiful.

The bed squeaked and the sounds of sex filled the room. Our lips locked, and our tongues fought for dominance. "Now Issy... now baby. Come with me." He pinched my clit and I came hard against him. He dropped his arms and resting his elbows next to my head, burying his face in my hair and I could hear his muffled scream against me as his body shook as he rode out his orgasm.

He fell next to me on his stomach, his face turned away from me. His back was damp, heaving with each breath he took. He threw his arm across my stomach. "Fuck." I heard him whisper and I smiled. Ditto. My own breath was out of control and my legs felt like jelly. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. When my heart rate turned to normal, I glanced over at Edward. He showed no signs of life. I rolled over and placed a several small kisses on his shoulder blade nearest me.

"Edward?" No answer. I peeked over his shoulder to see his eyes closed, his face peaceful in sleep. I giggled to myself. Wore him out, did I?

I watched my hand as it lightly moved down his back. It was arched gracefully, his spine dipping down to a slim waist. My gaze took in his firm ass, that sat atop a pair of the sexiest thighs I had ever seen. Not that I've seen a lot of the male body, but I knew this one was at the top of the list. Another list. I shake my head and I let out a little sigh. Damn. Who knew I was a thigh gal? Even though we've had sex twice now, I was still shy to touch him in such an intimate way. I bit my lip and debated.

The hell with it. I place my hand on his ass. My hand was shaking slightly, and I pressed a little harder. His ass was firm, rounded with muscle and I wanted to bite it as he did mine. The thought of him yelping as my teeth sank into him had me covering my mouth to smother my laughter. I don't think he would appreciate that. I moved to get under the covers when Edward's arm tightened around me, and he mumbled in his sleep. I froze. I didn't want to wake him.

I looked at his bedside clock and silently groaned. It was midnight. I had to get home. I didn't want to leave this bed, or Edward, ever. I had to wake him up. I felt guilty because he looked like he could use the sleep. The dark circles under his eyes were a testament to that. I run my hand through his thick hair and place my mouth against his ear, softly call his name. Nothing. I pull my lip in between my teeth. Man, he was sleeping good. I clear my throat and say his name a little louder, poking him in his side. He slapped my hand away, still asleep. Okay.. that's not going to work. I have to go home though.

"Edward!" I yelled out. My voice echoing off the walls.

He sprung up, like a bullet leaving a gun, his legs getting tangled with mine, and he lost his balance in the process. His body fell off the side of the bed, a loud thump sounding when he hit the carpet. I covered my mouth with both my hands, my eyes wide with shock. Edward's head popped up over the edge of the bed, his eyes wild and unfocused. "What the fuck?" he shouted. I couldn't help it. My laughter rang out and I fell back onto his comforter, clutching my sides. The look on his face! Tears rolled down my cheeks and I turned on my side to try and muffle the sound.

"You think that's funny?" I feel him leaning over me. When I only continued to smother my laughter, he growled. "Issy..." his voice trailed off in warning.

"I'm sorry!" I gasp out, "But you should have seen the way you shot up like your ass was on fire!" I howled with laughter again, my mirth renewed. "And you think I'm the clumsy one!"

"Stop, it wasn't that funny." He sat against the headboard with his arms crossed over his chest. He just sat there and watched me, a small pout forming on his full bottom lip. With his hair tossed carelessly about his head and his eyelids drooping sensually, Edward made a very sexy picture. It looked like he was still fighting sleep, and all I wanted to do was curl up with him. Lulling him back to sleep.

My laughter trickled to a stop. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "but that was too cute." I gave him a smile and crawled closer to him. His warmth like a beacon.

"How cute was it?" He looked at me beneath his long lashes and my breath lodged in my throat. Good lord, this boy.... He could melt glaciers with that look.

"Very c-cute." I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, nervous. I still wasn't quite comfortable with this side of myself. Naked, in bed with Luscious Lips, and teasing each other.

"Show me." He stated flatly, still holding my eyes hostage with his intense stare.

I swallowed and crawled toward him. His gaze never left mine. He patiently sat still until my face was inches from his. "Well?" He raised one eyebrow, waiting. I gave him a kiss, and sat back on my heels. "That's it? I have to wait an hour for you to stop laughing at my expense, and I get a peck on the lips?" I see a grin tug at the corner of his mouth, and I realize he's fucking with me. I smiled and leaned in. I caught his bottom lip between my own and kiss him with more enthusiasm.

His arms were still crossed over his chest, letting me set the pace. Feeling more confident, I ran my tongue lightly over his bottom lip and pulled it deeper into my mouth. He let out a small moan. Encouraged, I scooted closer, and placed my hand behind his neck, and darted my tongue into his mouth, tasting him. His breath picked up slightly and I let a small smile appear. I affected Edward just as much as he did me. Brazen now, I straddled his lap. His cock, at half mast, cradled in between my thighs.

I put both of my arms around neck and give him a long, deep, slow kiss. We both groan this time, and his arms snapped around me, pulling me into his body. He took over the kiss and laid me on my back, pushing me deeper into the bed. Damn, he could kiss. I hitch my leg across his hip. I wanted to be closer.

Edward lifted my leg higher on his hip, sliding between my legs. His cock, hard and ready. If I didn't have to go home, I would be more than willingly to finish this. Fuck, I wanted to finish this.

"Edward." I pulled my mouth from his and he started kissing my neck, trading between small bites and nibbles. "Edward," I repeated, my voice trembling, "I have to go."

"What? Why?" He had stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes, "You can stay... If you want to. I'll take you home in the morning so you can get ready for school."

I shook my head. It was best that I didn't stay. We had not addressed the issue of his.... girlfriend. I sigh. I'm going to hell.

"I really have to go home." I got up, despite his protests, and I got dressed. I would have never been able to stand naked in front of anybody a week ago. Edward made me feel beautiful, desired. I was comfortable enough for him to see me like this.

"What's the big deal, Issy? Just stay the night. I'll make sure we both get up in time for you to go home."

"Your girlfriend, for one thing." He stopped buttoning his jeans and walked toward me. I step back, I couldn't think when he was so close.

"Issy, I told you. Don't worry about it." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Why shouldn't I worry about it, Edward? You don't tell me anything. I barely know anything about you!" My voice had risen. "And it terrifies me to think that you disregard how she would feel about this. Are you still with her? And if you are, what does that make me?" I swallowed. "This is wrong. We should have never started this."

Silence rang out in the room. All I could hear was our breathing. He stood there with his hands at his side, looking lost. His eyes looked everywhere but at me. What the fuck am I doing? I'm with a guy who I know next to nothing about, I haven't met anyone in this massive house, and he doesn't communicate with me any other way than a fucking note in my locker. Like he didn't want anyone to know who he was fucking. Like....I'm the other woman. The secret.

I wrapped my arms around my chest, feeling the cold seep into my bones. I still look at Edward, wanting him to say something. Anything.

He stays silent. His eyes look... haunted. Like he wanted to tell me something, but couldn't.

"Edward?" I frowned, wondering what the hell was going on. Something wasn't right.

When I was still met with silence, I turned toward the door. I had to get out of here.

"Issy, wait.." I heard Edward frantically putting on his clothes behind me, but I didn't wait. I ran down the stairs, passing unknown doors, with unknown people behind them. After all, I was only here at night, when no one could see me. Tears started falling down my face. I was so fucking stupid to think that someone like Edward could really be interested in someone like me. I heard the laughter from the guys at school ,earlier today, echo through my mind. My heart squeezed in my chest. He was doing the same thing, just privately or... he could be doing it publicly.

"Issy!" Edward was taking the stairs two at a time, racing to catch up with me. I darted out the door and onto the driveway, looking left and right, trying to decide which way to go home. Home. I scoff, I didn't have a home. I didn't even have the home of the guy I was in love with. Who was ashamed of me. Sobs ripped through me and I was blinded by my tears. I heard Edward throw open the front door, his feet hitting the ground running. I took off, I didn't care which direction I was headed. I only knew I had to get away from him. He called my name again.

I knew he would catch me, after all I'm not the athletic type. My pace slowed to a walk. I huddled in my coat, the hood now covering my ears.

"Issy girl-"

"Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that ever again." I pointed at him, walking backwards. My eyes cold and hard. He stoped and his face held regret. "Just stay away from me, Edward." I turned around and I headed in the direction of.... somewhere. I would find my way back to my place. This was Forks after all.

"Just let me take you home, Is-..Bella." Edward had now caught up to me, and tried to catch my eye. "I promise I won't say a word, I just want to make sure you're home. Safe." I let out a bitter laugh. If he only knew...

"Look, I know that I'm shutting you out! I get that you want some answers just...Dammit, stop walking!" He grabbed my arms to pull my body to face his. I refused to look at him, I kept my eyes on the ground. He was another disappointment in my life. Another man to let me down, break my heart. I should have stuck with my instincts from the beginning. I just wanted my bed. I pulled away from Edward. I had to get home, to my room.

"Don't talk to me, just drive. Got it?" He nodded slowly. He opened his mouth to say something. "I mean it, Edward. No talking."

He nodded again and swallowed. I turned from him and stalked back toward his driveway. We got, silently, into his car and he sat there for a second. I looked over and he had his eyes closed. He sat there so long, I started to get out. Just as I reached for the handle, he cranked the car and pulled out. There was no easy conversation this time. No hand holding, nor smiles. I stared blankly out the window, my body as close to the door as possible. Well, it was good while it lasted, while I was oblivious to his.... his what? I still didn't know anything. But it must be bad for Edward to have that haunted look on his face. I was sticking with my gut this time.

As soon as the car came to a stop in front of my house, I jumped out. I opened my front door and slammed it shut, heading up the stairs. Charlie wasn't home. Big surprise. He was somewhere with his tail tucked between his legs, moping about how I destroyed his life. Well in five months, buddy, you nor Edward, wouldn't have to worry about me anymore.

I took my clothes off and got under the hot spray in the shower. The water soothed my aching muscles. My eyes were dry, finally. I was tired of crying. I lathered and washed my body, mechanically, like I was on autopilot. I put on some comfy pajamas and passed my violin on my dresser where I left it this morning. I wanted to play but I was too drained. I crawled underneath my covers and burrowed in to my pillow. Another successfully crappy day. I didn't know what it was like to go to bed happy anymore. And that sucked. Hard. I looked at the clock and the red neon lights blinked two am. Again. Shit, I had to be up at seven.

I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard a scratch at my window.

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