A/N: Sorry about making you wait a little longer than usual for this chapter! I had a busy week... But the weather is so nice today!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except Faolan's personality, name, phsyical description, and past lives, Rathmir, William... the characters are mine but their Gifts and everything else Valdemaren related is Mercedes Lackey's!
Chapter Dedication: For Trgiaol, who lives in my room and will soon be the reason I will have to vacumn every day. He likes to hear me type on the keyboard.
Thanks to... SweetSouthernBelle517, Ryalla-Swiftwind, Kathleen G McCrory, and Book Angel (It is quite possible as I got the name of I believe.)

Faolan sat, digging into a pile of peas, or rather, she kneeled, because sitting put her just a little too low. Rathmir was on her left, and Faolan had seen neither Christopher Alaska and Co. or Dunne and Co. The peas were good, and buttery, and Faolan's headache never went above a low throb at her temple now and then, for which she was grateful. This was her first headache in this life, but she could remember having some seriously bad migraines in past lives, and they were no fun at all.

"Hey Rathmir," a voice said and Faolan looked up, her eyes widened as the echo of a voice flashed through her mind.

…good to be back. Ahh… I wonder what everyone's been up to in my absence? Havens, I missed being able to have a good bath.

But that hadn't been a voice- it had been thoughts, 'surface' thoughts as Rathmir had called them. Yet they sounded exactly like this voice now! Faolan blinked and stared up at the Herald, his face slowly manifesting before her. Now that she thought upon it, his voice seemed even more familiar…

"Jamie Lauren," Rathmir said with a delighted smile, turning around on her chair to peer up at the worn looking Herald.

Lauren, Faolan thought, and suddenly she remembered. And as she did a chill ran down her spine and into her stomach and then she was hot and cold all over and the world seemed far away, as if she were watching it from high above, and not part of it at all.

He was the Herald that worked with Carry Rolf's Scout group. He knew Carry Rolf. This wasn't like finding a book that you knew who'd written it. Here was a living, breathing person that had known her in a past life. It was wrong, it was all wrong, and Faolan suddenly knew why lives usually occurred every hundred years or so. This was why.

"Faolan, are you all right?" Rathmir inquired and Faolan looked up, staring with wide blue eyes at Rathmir.

"Uh huh," she said slowly, raising her eyes to look up at Herald Lauren once more, the strength entirely gone from her muscles.

"This is James Lauren," Rathmir said, "He's off duty for a few months- he's been on the border, fighting in the war."

"The war," Faolan echoed and thought, And I knew that. I wonder… could he tell me anything about Captain Raleigh?

Then a lump filled her throat and she realized she couldn't speak. To ask him anything about her past life, anything, would be to… to push the borders, the lines that she knew she must have already pushed in coming here again so soon. Why? Faolan cried out in her mind, Why am I here?

He probably knows how Carry Rolf died, Faolan realized and as she thought that, an itching, fleeting feeling of extreme horror and fear tingled at the back of her mind and she pushed it away, feeling sick and dizzy. I don't want to know how I died.

"I need to go," Faolan said and slid off her chair, abandoning her dinner and hurrying out. As she ran through empty halls the walls seemed to loom up at her and several times she wasn't sure where exactly she was, but then she'd see something that reminded her. Everything swam around in her vision and it seemed like ages before she finally found her room, where she shoved open the door and collapsed onto her bed, which immediately began to spin, rocking like a boat upon a rough sea.

She hadn't turned on the light as she came in, and the last vestiges of light from the sun slowly disappeared as she lay on her bed in a whirl of confusion and memories. You knew it would happen eventually, Faolan told herself, Especially after the incident with the book.

Yet for some reason it really hadn't occurred to her that someone from the war, someone that had scouted with her, would appear. The book was harmless, it brought only good memories, and perhaps from that she assumed that the people she'd meet that Carry Rolf knew would be equally unalarming.

Then why I am so torn up? she wondered and then warm mental arms wrapped around her, cradling her like a child.

:Raul: Faolan said, feeling as if she looked up at a pair of warm blue eyes, and feeling very small, as if she really were a tiny baby wrapped in a mother's arms.

:I'm here Faolan: Raul said and the girl closed her eyes, leaning back and nestling herself into the arms, feeling warm and comfortable, as if every care in the world had been swept away and she'd never have to worry again.

:I'm here…:

And Fao slowed drifted off to sleep, curled up along on her bed and still in her trainee grays, but at the same time sheltered and watched by her Companion. So deep a sleep did she fall into that she did not hear the knocking until the fifth knock.

"Faolan I know you're there," Rathmir's voice rang clearly through the wood of the door.

"I'm here!" Faolan said in a loud, sleepy voice as she dragged herself from the realms of dreams and slid off of her bed and stumbled over to yank open the door.

Standing tall before her was white clothed Rathmir, and behind her, the cause of Faolan's departure, Herald Lauren. His hair was short and messy and brown and his eyes, which were green as Faolan recalled, were kind, yet gray sprung at his temples and his eyes had wrinkles around them. He looked tired, he looked worn out. The war was taking its toll on him and Faolan wondered what had happened since her death, what had happened in the time she had been Faolan?

"What happened Faolan?" Rathmir asked, worried, as she kneeled down and placed her hands on Faolan's shoulders.

"Uh," said Faolan, blinking stupidly at Rathmir, her focus still upon Jamie Lauren.

"Are you sick? Should I take you to the Healers?" she asked.

"No," Faolan shook her head and then shrugged, "I just…" She looked up at the Herald from the war, and his green eyes met hers, and showed no recognition.

Rathmir followed Faolan's gaze and then asked, "Is it Jamie?"

"In a way," Faolan mumbled, not sure what Rathmir meant.

"I can leave," Jamie said, looking uneasy.

"No," Faolan said quickly, and Rathmir looked surprised, "He… he looks like someone I once knew."

"All right," Rathmir nodded and then pulled Faolan into a tight hug and then stood up and waved goodbye, then disappearing back down the hall and as Faolan stood in her doorway, she realized there were tears in her eyes and she smiled a little sadly before going back into her room and climbing into pajamas.

A few days later Faolan found herself with Rathmir's kids once more. This time, she came on her own, at Rathmir's urging, and the two children were deep in a story being told by William Sommer. His eyes were lit up and he was clearly well into the story as well, so Faolan sat down at the edge of the room, catching the Weaponmaster's eye only long enough for a smile of hello. They were too far into the story for Faolan to listen in, so she turned her gaze to the two children, Maemi and Kayin. As she watched them, she felt herself fall backwards, as if in time, although her body never moved, and she felt her adult lives slipping away, hiding themselves in the corner of her mind and she thought of the time she played chase with Raul, that childish feeling of glee and true terror…

When the story was over and Maemi and Kayin pulled her into a series of games, this time, Faolan did not hold onto her usual self and totally let go, letting herself become the four year old she really was.

She ran screaming through the rooms when they played chase and she hid with a terrified intensity when they played hide and go seek, and when they played with stuffed animals Faolan let her imagination run free and lost all reserves about the silliness of bears bouncing around on a bed.

I've been losing myself in my past lives, Faolan thought as she walked back to her room, sweaty and exhilarated from the play, And when the time came that I could come back to being Faolan, I blew it- the first time. I can't believe I had forgotten that- how to be a kid.

She ran a hand through her hair with an embarrassed smile as she made her way through the halls with a freedom that no one would give a normal four year old. And then she sighed, and stared at the ceiling as she walked, realizing with a sad sort of loneliness that she did not want to be alone anymore.

She had Raul, of course, but her room was her own, and her schedule was her own and everyone expected her to do everything on her own, after all, she'd proven herself capable of such. I can't live like this anymore, Faolan thought, and when she reached her room she walked past it, and went outside to the darkening Companion's Field, where she found Raul waiting for her at the edge, a glowing white figure in the darkness.

:I need a companion: Faolan whispered into Raul's mind as she embraced the filly, :I don't want my own room. I can just slip off thrice a month when I change and no one ever need know…:

:Oh Faolan: Raul said, squeezing Fao close, :I love you. I will always love you, my sweet, my Chosen.:

:I know: Faolan answered, hugging Raul tighter, and as she squeezed her eyes shut tears slipped out of them and before she knew it was crying, and Raul lay down so Faolan could bury her face into the filly's mane, Faolan's salty tears dampening the white coat of the Companion.

And watching, unbeknownst to either spirit or child, was another white form, but this one white clad instead of white coated, with teal eyes and long brown hair. That night, after Faolan changed into her pajamas, she wandered back out into the halls and knocked at the Sommer's door.

The Weaponsmaster answered, but before he could say anything, puzzled, Rathmir appeared, wearing a long nightgown, this one blue instead of purple and she stepped past her husband and picked up Faolan, wrapping her in strong arms and holding her for a long moment, the flames from the candles flickering across the three figure's bodies.

And that night she fell asleep sandwiched between two bodies, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

A/N: Ee-hee! Short chapter, I know, but more to come soon!