A/N: Here's the next chapter! I only have one more written and a very busy week ahead of me, so updates might not be so regular... However... reviews would inspire me... nudge nudge All ye who don't review it, you don't know how lucky you are that I update regularly and hugs and candy to those who do!
When Faolan woke up the next morning, it was to find she was not alone. Except the person sitting beside her wasn't a bemused Rathmir, but a bemused William, leaning back comfortably with one leg crossed over the other. Fao yawned and stretched, feeling better, feeling hungry, and feeling a strong desire to go see Raleigh. Havens…she thought, When he was just a memory I wasn't pining over him!
"Hey Fao," William said and she looked over at him, "How you doing?"
"Waking up," Faolan said and yawned again as if to prove it, "And hungry."
"You look a lot better," he told her, a hint of a smile playing about his lips.
"I feel better," Faolan said with a grin and then asked, "You think they'll let me go soon?"
"You make it sound like you're in prison," he teased but then said, "Yes. I expect they'll want to keep you here another day or two to make sure it doesn't come back."
"It gets boring though, now that I'm not asleep…" Faolan complained, leaning back on her pillow and staring at the ceiling, "I miss the outdoors."
"And the outdoors misses you Faolan," William informed her, "I hear you found yourself a lifebond."
"Uh," Faolan said, glancing at him sideways through the corner of her eye. His expression was nonchalant.
"Hey, nothing to worry about. It's all right," William reassured her with a smile, running a hand across his hair and ponytail, "Being lifebonded is the most wonderful and most terrible thing that can happen to you. It's wonderful, because you're with a person you can never stop loving and that loves you back equally powerfully, but it's hard on one's self to love someone so much. To emotionally need someone that much. If anything happens to one half of a lifebond… well, it's like losing a Companion. Most people don't recover. Your lifebonded completes you, weighs out your faults and makes you whole."
"What if he never wakes up?" Faolan whispered, fallen into a serious mood.
"Ah…" William sighed and looked up at the ceiling with a wry laugh, "Well, I can't help you there. But you know- I think you might be able to help him there. I asked the Healers about him and the only reason he's still here is because he has nowhere else to go, no family, no loved ones… And sometimes when a person is in that kinda of coma, they need someone close to bring them back. You have empathy, reaching out to him with your Gifts, calling to him with your mind, that might bring him back."
"You really think that?" Faolan asked, her eyes lighting up and then she asked, "What if… I mean what happens when he does wake up?"
"If it really is a lifebond, he'll be as smitten with you as you are with him," William said and then chuckled, "Although I don't envy the poor guy. Usually lifebonds don't meet each other until they're both of an age that… well, above thirteen usually. You'll just have to work through it with each other then I guess Faolan. But don't worry, we'll all be here for you. I know this isn't the best thing for you to hear but… I think it'd probably be better if he didn't wake up until you were a bit older, you know?"
"Yeah," Faolan said slowly, a lump appearing in her throat, "I know what you mean. It might not be good for a relationship for one person to be… four."
"Uh," William said, clearly having not actually expected her to quite get it, or to put it so bluntly with such obvious understanding, "… Yes."
They spoke no more of lifebonds, and William changed the subject to Faolan's growing skill in Archery. An hour or so later breakfast was brought in for both of them and a little later William left and Faolan felt back into an uneasy sleep. The Healers didn't let her leave her room that day, on the grounds that they were releasing her the next day and wanted her to be as fully rested as possible, and Faolan didn't really want to explain to them exactly why she had to go and see Raleigh Van den Acker. She already got enough attention as it was and she really didn't want everyone to know she was lifebonded to Raleigh.
And sure enough, the next morning Rathmir came to take her back to the Heraldic Collegium and Faolan was finally better, although the Healers told her to stay inside as much as possible, what with the cold weather.
"Can we stop and see Raleigh on the way out?" Faolan asked quietly as she changed back into trainee grays once more, discarding the Healer's nightgown with joy.
"Of course," Rathmir answered and took Faolan's hand as they left the room and out into the halls of the House of Healing, "Did Will talk to you?"
"Yes," Faolan nodded, "I'm glad to be better."
"Yeah," Rathmir agreed with a grin, "Being sick is no fun. It'll be nice to be teaching you again."
"And to get out riding some more," Faolan said with a sigh of longing, "Although I guess I'll be taking it easy today. I want to go see Christopher Alaska."
"Everyone has missed you," Rathmir added, "I've been getting inquires as to how you're doing. You seem to have become the pet of the Heraldic Collegium."
"Wow," Faolan said with a raised eyebrow, her voice conveying her controversy on that concept, "I'm not sure if I like that…"
"Don't worry," Rathmir assured, "They'll get over it soon enough. You're going to grow up pretty quickly."
That sounds ominous, Faolan thought, but she didn't say anything because they reached the door that led to Raleigh's room. Feeling suddenly clammy Faolan reached a sweaty hand and pushed the door open. Rathmir stayed outside and Faolan stepped in.
He lay just as he had the day before, silent and still in a way totally unlike being asleep. His eyes were shut but Faolan knew if they were open he'd look just the same. Like a living corpse. She shivered and walked over to the side of the bed, her feet against the floor creating the only sound in the room and as she thought about what William said, tears sprung to her eyes.
"You don't have anyone, do you?" she whispered and took the hand that lay at his side, motionless, into her own smaller hands.
His hair looked strange- he had always worn it long in the army, but now the Healers were keeping it short for easier caretaking. He looked far too pale and Faolan traced his fingers slowly, thinking that those were hands that needed to be used. The palms were soft; any calluses he once had were gone from the years spent motionless.
Faolan bowed her head and sank to the ground, arms reaching up to still clutch his hand. Her hair fell into her eyes, covering her face and she sniffed as a tear ran down her cheek and dripped off her chin. A few minutes later she stood back up, wiped her eyes, whispered so quietly no one could have heard, "I love you Raleigh," and then walked back to Rathmir.
As it turned out, few ended up with knowledge of Faolan's newly found lifebond. The only ones who knew were Raul, Conlan, Rathmir, and William. No one else was told, nor did Faolan feel the need to tell anyone else. Yet it made her realize even more that she was separated from the rest of the Heralds. Heralds were supposed to be close, almost a sort of brother/sisterhood. Yet none knew even the basics of who she really was! Raul said they'd know she was a werewolf sooner or later, but she said she could never tell about her past lives, even though those memories almost totally encompassed who she was.
And so, healed, Faolan went back into the now familiar schedule of lessons and time spent out in the field with Raul. Everything was the same, except for one thing. Faolan had changed. Part of her mornings with Raul she slipped into the Healer's Collegium and sat by Raleigh's side, but never more for an hour and never less than a few minutes. Every day, he lay unchanged, and every day Faolan longed to know why.
Yet one day, she ran into trouble. It was early morning, near the end of October and almost All Hollow's Eve. She was sitting in Raleigh's room, watching him breath, slowly, his chest rising up and down, his eyes shut, as if we were just asleep. And then another Herald entered. Faolan heard him first, his footsteps moving down the hall- she left the door open to show there was someone in here. The Healers seemed to have assumed she was a relative. But when those footsteps, stopped, Faolan looked up, and met the green eyes of a Herald she knew.
"Jamie Lauren," Faolan whispered under her breath in horror.
"Faolan?" he inquired, looking at her and then at Raleigh and back again.
"Hi," Faolan said with a smile, because there was nothing else she could do.
"Let me guess, you knew Raleigh too, huh?" Herald Lauren inquired, moving into the room and leaning against the wall, watching the two of them.
Faolan nodded slowly, watching him carefully out of her two blue eyes. But Jamie only nodded with a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment, looking deep in though. When he opened his eyes he looked at Faolan once more.
"I was gone when he… got like this," the Herald said, "When I heard about it, I was devastated- he was one of the best Scout Captains the army had. I come in here, to see him, every time I'm back here at Haven. To see if maybe he's woken up or… something. I've really given up thinking he'll wake up though. It's sad, Carry Rolf was the only person he had- sometimes I wonder if he, knowing she was gone, simply left his body… never to return. But then I think, why didn't he just die? Maybe he's waiting for something."
The Herald shrugged and then gave a half laugh, as if to excuse his musings. Faolan looked at Raleigh, thinking of what the Herald had said. Did you leave for me? she wondered to him, feeling horrified at the idea that he would never return to his body, and then called, :Raleigh! Come back! I'm here! I'm here for you!:
If Raleigh heard, he did not come back. Faolan doubted it had worked. Because if his soul wasn't there, he wouldn't be able to hear what was said to him, mentally or out loud. Jamie Lauren coughed and Faolan looked back up at him.
"Well, I'm off," he said, and then he saluted to Raleigh, "Best dreams for you, Captain."
And the white clad man disappeared out the door, leaving Faolan alone. She blinked at where he had been standing, feeling as she had just escaped a near catastrophe. Was it chance that he didn't dwell on her being here? Somehow she doubted it. Sorry to your Companion, Faolan whispered in her mind and stood up, knowing she'd have to hurry now to get to Archery.
"Christopher Alaska?" Faolan asked that evening at dinner, wearing a fresh outfit.
"Uh huh?" Alaska asked, slowly and thoughtfully chewing a piece of steak, his gaze misty and far off.
"Can you make a world for me?" she asked, "After dinner?"
"Sure Fao," he said, continuing to chew, and if Fao didn't know him better she'd think he hadn't really heard her.
She'd been thinking a lot about Carry Rolf lately, and the desire to be her, look and be able to talk like an adult, was overpowering her. She knew it might cause a little trouble with Noland, Alaska's Companion, but she just had to. So that evening, after dinner, Alaska and Faolan, alone, went to her rooms, which were getting lonely and dusty without Faolan- she only ever went to them on the nights of her change now.
"What world do you want, Faolan?" Alaska inquired as they sat on her bed- his gaze on the wall behind her.
"We could be here- anywhere, I guess," Faolan said to her horror Alaska moved his gaze and stared straight at her, his blue eyes meeting hers.
And a smile crossed his face and he inquired, "Carry Rolf?"
"Uh," Faolan said, staring up at him, too shocked to be caught under his gaze- the intensity of it!- to be able to say anything. She had the feeling, with him looking straight at her, that he knew everything about her, had read every inch of her mind, and… well… it was scary and slightly disturbing.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said and his gaze once more disappeared to the clouds and Faolan let out a slight sigh of relief.
And suddenly, the world around them changed. Faolan felt herself slipping away from herself and she heard, in the back of her mind, It'll be easier if you imagine everything- our physical bodies won't move tonight…
Faolan opened her eyes and she was standing at the edge of a cliff, jagged and rocky- with a forest behind her. A salty air blew the hair back from her face and far below, waves crashed up on the rocks, beating away and eroding them. She turned around, and realized that she was Carry Rolf now- and she felt much more 'in' the body than she had the first time. Was it because she was imagining it more now?
A white shape emerged from the woods, and Raul appeared, followed by Noland, who looked slightly annoyed. Seeing Faolan's confused raised eyebrow, Raul winked and said, :We're invading. You have no idea how much of a trouble maker you are:
"Alaska?" Faolan called out as Raul stood beside her, and she ran her hands along the Companion's mane, marveling at the change in her height. Her voice too- it sounded so different!
"I'm here," Christopher Alaska said, appearing upon Noland's back, relaxed and comfortable upon the Companion stallion.
Nervously now, Faolan buried a single hand into Raul's mane, holding on to it and stepping close to the Companion. Now that she was here, she didn't know what to say, what to do. Alaska seemed utterly calm and Faolan suddenly wondered what was beneath his eyes, his calm. What thoughts whispered behind that unreadable shield?
Then Alaska did again what thoroughly shook Faolan- he looked straight in her eyes. That small smile once more jumped at the edges of his lips and he slid off Noland's back and walked up to Faolan and looked up at her- which was supremely odd.
"Faolan?" he asked, staring straight into her eyes.
"Yeah?" Carry- Faolan, inquired back.
"Whoever this," he waved a hand at her, "is, she isn't you anymore. Who is she?"
And then Faolan was sitting on the ground in front of him, back in the red headed body she was born into her, and she let her hair droop around her face and she leaned forward, staring intently at the ground.
"She was me," Faolan whispered, "She was me, Alaska."
"I don't know Carry Rolf," the boy said, kneeling down and lifting her chin up with two fingers to stare once more into her eyes, "But I know Faolan. And I don't think the two are the same."
Faolan stared back at him, lost in his blue gaze. You would make a good Companion, she thought hazily. Then she stood up, stepped forward, and embraced Christopher Alaska, wrapping small arms around him. As she did, the world he had created swirled away, leaving only an echo of the beat of the waves on the cliffs, and they were sitting on Faolan's bed again, but Fao was still hugging Alaska, her eyes squeezed tight shut.
"What if he doesn't love me?" Faolan whispered, and felt Raul still in the back of her mind.
"He'll love you," Alaska said, and Faolan felt a hand touch her hair and then Alaska's arms wrapped back around her, giving her a tight squeeze, "How could he not?"
A/N: Now go read my newest Valdemar one-shot, Not Another... poke poke