Thanks to conan98002, spectre666, AtomicFire, JPMod, captainkodak1, Ultimate Naco Topping, Molloy, Matri, crashfourit, continental-line, whitem, Whisper from the Shadows, Intrepidwarriors, Visigoth29527, suforst, mattb3671, Taechunsa, campy, Ezbok58a, MichaelCross, Slyfer, jasminevr, Cego, TexasDad, Langwurst, Commander Argus, Supreme Admiral of the Web, momike, kemiztri for reviewing; thanks to everyone else for reading!
Thanks to campy for his beta- and proofreading.
If you saw it on KP, it belongs to Disney; it you saw it on TNG, it belongs to Paramount.
I.
"Surely you aren't going to let that buffoon get away with this?" Fiske demanded.
"Ambassador, I would kindly ask you to use care when referring to a member of my crew," Picard replied coolly.
"Ex-member, Captain," Nechayev noted sharply. "Mr. Stoppable resigned his position, and while I'm aware that he originally came aboard as part of your ship leave program, he stopped being a guest the moment he accepted employ on this vessel. Enterprise is not a cruise ship; I expect him to be on the next available transport."
"Understood, Admiral," Picard replied icily. "For the record, let me state that I disagree with your decisions regarding this matter and that I will be filing a formal protest with Starfleet Command."
"Captain, if you were to set aside your personal feelings for Ensign Possible and Mr. Stoppable, you would admit that I am correct. You've seen what the Sword can do."
"Exactly!" Fiske said. "He is but a boy, and now heaven knows what he will do with the bat'leth."
"Mr. Fiske," Picard said, pointedly omitting the ambassador's title, "that boy has shown bravery that if demonstrated by a Starfleet officer would have earned him an Antares Cluster. He may claim ownership of the weapon because he bought it, but his right to bear the Sword of Kahless arises from how he has used it. His mastery of the weapon is evident, and the Klingons, who I would think know more than we about it, seem satisfied for it to remain in Mr. Stoppable's possession." Picard then looked to Nechayev. "And Admiral, it is not I who is letting personal feelings interfere with command decisions—"
Nechayev's eyes flashed. "Captain …" she warned.
Seeing his superior's anger, Picard decided not to pursue the matter further; besides, he had a different line of attack to pursue. "You might wish to know that immediately before our meeting – and before I had a chance to brief you – Ensign Possible told me of her experience when wielding the blade aboard Gowron's ship." Picard then briefed Nechayev and Fiske on what he had learned.
"That only supports my argument!" the Englishman said. "The Sword of Kahless must be quarantined and studied."
"Under your supervision, of course," Picard said with an edge. "How very convenient, Ambassador."
"Are you questioning my integrity, Picard?" Fiske asked.
"Not at all, Ambassador," Picard replied in a way that conveyed that was exactly what he was doing.
"Gentlemen, we're being distracted. The issue still remains what is to be done with the Sword of Kahless. I am sorry, Captain, but what you have told us only reinforces my belief that we must find a way to impound the weapon."
"Good," Fiske said smugly. "Then I shall be able to study it …"
"I think not, Lord Fiske," Nechayev interjected, a look of contempt on her face; while she may have disagreed with Picard on many matters large and small she shared the captain's evident low opinion of the diplomat. "Given what Ensign Possible wanted to do under the bat'leth's influence, I am loath to think what might happen were it to fall into the hands of someone dangerous or malicious."
"What exactly do you plan to do, Admiral?" Picard asked.
"I'm going to recommend that it be destroyed."
II.
Kim and Ron sat on Ron's bunk, holding hands, her head resting on his shoulder. They sat in silence, staring across the room at the Sword.
"I hate that stupid thing," Ron finally groused.
"Ron, it saved our lives."
"Yeah, I guess so. If I didn't have it on the moon …"
"Ron, forget the moon. If you didn't have it in the warehouse, I wouldn't have been able to use it in my fight with Shego, and who knows what would have happened."
"You'd still have beaten her …"
"So says Mr. Smooth …"
"Nah, I've seen you in action. The best Shego could have hoped for was a draw. And that's with those glowing hands, which, I must admit, while dangerous were pretty badical."
"Oh?" she asked, now looking at him with arched eyebrow.
"Though not as badical as you, KP."
"Nice recovery, Captain Romance," she said before kissing him on the cheek.
Ron smiled, but then sighed. "You know, KP, I feel like it owns me now. Things were going so good for us and … Man, has this been a crazy week."
"We'll make it work, Ron. You'll see."
"You sure?"
"Ferociously sure. I didn't wait all this time to realize you were the perfect guy for me for nothing. You're stuck with me, Stoppable." Kim brought her lips to Ron's and gave him a slow, deep kiss. "You know, maybe I'll just resign my commission. Kissing you is so much more rewarding than serving in Starfleet."
"I'd be all about you quitting Starfleet if I thought it was a good idea, KP."
"Well, maybe it is …" she said seriously.
Ron, mouth agape, looked at Kim.
"… Ron, don't get me wrong. I love being in Starfleet. I've been able to do so many incredible things, meet so many amazing people. Piloting this ship, serving with the captain, Worf, Data, seeing new worlds. I have so much respect for people like Commander Riker and Mr. O'Brien. Not to mention Guinan. But then there are people like Nechayev – and she's the kind of person who's in charge. I had that investigation under control only for her to take me off the case for her Number One agent, who doesn't seem to be able to find a warp core in an engine room. And don't even get me started on the way she's treated you. You suffered that injury, do all sorts of diplomacy, and all she can do is yank your chain."
Ron just shook his head. "KP, you know that quitting isn't your style. Sure, this outfit's not perfect, but if you stay in, maybe you can work with people like the captain to change things. Besides, all you ever really wanted was to be in Starfleet, and you really do look hot in the uniform …"
"Yes, but that was before I realized I wanted to be with you. Ron, things have changed the past few days. I still love the uniform, especially since I know how it affects you, but suddenly, it's not the most important thing in my life." Kim kissed him on the cheek to make her point. "Maybe I could get a job piloting, maybe even commanding, a private ship."
"You'd hate that, KP. That would be JV. And you like being in the pros!"
Kim sighed, then flashed Ron a knowing smile. "You know me too well, you know that?"
"Hey," Ron said brightly, "that's what you get for talking to the funny-looking kid in the playground!"
"I'll remember that the next time I enroll in pre-K …" Kim replied affectionately.
III.
"Come in," Picard said.
"Captain, we need to talk," Guinan declared as she entered his ready room.
Picard ignored the El Aurian's presumptuousness; he knew it was the woman's nature to do as, and go where, she pleased, and while that could be trying at times, she rarely did things or went places without well-justified purpose. "May I get you something to drink?" he asked.
"Thank you, no. So, I hear that Stoppable's been kicked off Enterprise because he won't give up the Sword."
Picard arched an eyebrow and snorted. "News does travel fast."
"It's a small ship," Guinan observed. "You know, Jean-Luc, there's a way you can keep him on board."
Picard let out an audible sigh. "I know, Guinan. But Ron was adamant that he would not surrender the bat'leth."
"I wasn't talking about the Sword …"
Picard looked at his visitor.
"… They could get married. As Possible's husband, he'd be entitled to stay with her."
"Guinan, let us leave aside the fact that they have been dating for approximately one week. Their romantic lives are none of our affair. Besides, if he stays on board, married or no, we're back where we started, with him under Nechayev's jurisdiction."
"Let's get the easy problem off the table first, shall we?" Guinan said as she sat down before Picard's desk. "Nechayev can only boss Stoppable around if he's an actual member of the crew – either uniformed, like you, or civilian, like me. She cannot order him to do anything if he's on board as a civilian dependent; only you can, and then only with regard to the safe operation of Enterprise."
"Go on," Picard said, as he sipped his tea.
"I know you've got a lot on your mind, Captain, so let me refresh your memory. Starfleet Regulation 197, Section 1, Subsection 1 states: 'the legally designated spouse of a serving member of the Fleet may, as the recognized dependent of said service member, remain without assignment or duty aboard the ship to which the aforementioned service member is assigned for a period of, but not to exceed, 120 days.' That would at least buy some time to sort out this mess."
Picard pursed his lips. "Your knowledge of Starfleet regulatory arcana is most impressive; that would indeed apply to this situation. However, the fact remains that their personal affairs are none of our business."
"Then we should make it our business," Guinan said with surprising vehemence. "You know those two belong together. He lives for her; and after what's happened to him he doesn't have much else to live for. And without him, she'll be lost again, just another run-of-the-mill junior officer destined to be another run-of-the-mill lieutenant commander on some transport. Those two are more in love than any couple I've seen in the last two hundred years; I'm still amazed it took them so long to see it. We can't let them be split up. Not now."
"Guinan, I do not believe that involving ourselves in the love lives of members of this crew is particularly prudent –"
"Prudent? Oh come on. You can do better than that, Jean-Luc. Since when has 'prudent' been your watchword? And don't tell me you don't care about those two kids, and not just as captain of this ship. I know you like them. Do you really want to be responsible for –"
Picard, now smiling, raised a hand to silence his visitor. "Guinan, you are an inexorable force of nature. Now, not that I am suggesting we encourage them to do anything, but, according to the Klingons, Kim and Ron are already mated. They would merely need to swear the Oath to formalize their status as being married under Klingon law," he observed, "which would give them standing as a married couple in the Federation."
"Great," she said. "So you'll tell them?"
"Guinan, given the delicate nature of my relations with the admiral, I think it best that I not be the one to apprise Kim and Ron of this option, not that I am saying anyone should. However, hypothetically, as Arbiter of Succession, I will witness their oath, should they so desire."
"I can work with that," she said as she rose from her seat.
"You know," Picard observed with a wry expression, "you can be most trying at times."
"Just doing my job, Captain," she replied with a Cheshire Cat-grin as she left the ready room.
IV.
He was tall, with thick brown hair, a tanned complexion, and a strong, chiseled chin. He flashed a confident smile at Shego, Lore, and Drakken.
"Hi!"
"He's friendly enough," Shego snorted. "He have a name?"
"Shego and Lore, meet my crowning achievement, Synthodrone 901 …"
"But you can call me Eric," the newcomer said. Shego and Lore were impressed. Stan and Ollie looked lifelike enough, could even shapeshift. But neither actually spoke or seemed to have a personality.
Lore looked Eric up and down, then cocked his head. As he circled the synthodrone, he made facial gestures identical to the ones his brother Data would have made in that situation, for as much as he detested the fact, he and Data were twins, programmed by the same man. "Very impressive, Dr. D. So, tell me. '901' – is that some sort of mad scientist numbering convention like the Acme Ray Gun 9000 or does Eric here have some siblings?"
A satisfied grin spread across Drakken's face, then he cocked an eyebrow and said with satisfaction. "Oh, it's a mad scientist thing all right …"
Lore looked disappointed.
"… But who said I can't have my evil cake and eat it too?"
Shego's eyes opened wide as she considered the possibility.
"Walk with me, talk with me," the blue-skinned villain ordered as he headed for the door. "I think you should meet the rest of the family."
V.
"Enter," Fiske commanded.
The door to his quarters slid open and Yori Tanaka entered.
She was confronted by the ambassador's back. His hands were folded behind him and he was staring out the large windows of his VIP quarters.
"They are most impressive, are they not, Lieutenant?"
Though Yori was unsure of what to make of this summons, she knew enough to be uneasy. The diplomat was powerful, well-connected, and aware of her status as a Section 31 operative. Cautiously, she responded, "If you refer to the stars, Lord Fiske, I must agree."
Fiske stood in silence for a long moment.
Yori controlled her breathing to steady her nerves. The only thing to be heard in the cabin was the low thrum of the warp engine. Usually, she found the sound comforting, reassuring in its regularity. But now she found it oppressive, as if something terrible was heading towards her.
Finally, Fiske turned to look at her.
"I have heard that the Yamanuchi School curriculum prizes classical Earth literature."
"Yes, Ambassador."
"Tell me, then. Who said: 'If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country'?"
"E.M. Forster, the 20th century English author. One of your countrymen, Lord Fiske."
"Very good, Lieutenant," the diplomat said with a graceful dip of his head. "At the Academy I presume you studied Starfleet history."
"Yes, sir. It was mandatory."
"Then you can tell me who said: 'The good of the many outweighs the good of the one.'"
"Ambassador, then Captain, Spock, in the 23rd century, when he sacrificed himself to save the original Enterprise."
"Tell me, Ms. Tanaka, who was right, Mr. Forster or Mr. Spock?"
VI.
Kim and Ron lay curled up on the bunk snuggling, enjoying the moment together. Knowing they were facing a long separation, neither wanted to move. But then the door chimed.
Ron sighed. "Just a moment," he said as he and Kim sat up and hurriedly straightened their clothes and checked their hair in the mirror. "Come in."
The door opened and Guinan came in. "Is this a bad time?" she asked with a playful smile.
Kim, seeing the flustered expression on Ron's face said, "It's no big, Guinan." Then Kim looked at Ron and said, "I'll see you later?"
"You got it, KP," Ron answered.
"Actually, I want to speak to both of you," the bartender said. "Have a seat …"
Kim and Ron did as instructed; it was impossible not to respond to Guinan's natural air of command.
"… So, I heard about the latest development in your career, Stoppable …"
Ron's shoulders slumped. Kim wrapped a reassuring arm around him.
"… Nechayev's a piece of work, that's for sure," Guinan continued. "I take it you'd rather stay here with Possible."
Ron looked at Guinan like the woman had asked if he'd like to keep breathing. "Well, duh."
Guinan ignored the response before looking at Kim. "And I guess you'd like him to stay?"
"Obvious much?" Kim asked, unable to hide her own annoyance with the situation.
"Okay, just wanted to make sure of that before I proceeded." Guinan, who had been standing, made her way to a chair and sat down. "I think I have a solution to your problem. Here, as Possible likes to say, is the sitch …"
VII.
President Barkin looked at the memo that had been placed before him. As requested, the heads of Starfleet, Galactic Justice, and the Ministry of Intergalactic Affairs had put their recommendations in writing. It was small comfort to the former teacher. He knew that if this decision backfired, it would be his name, not those of the others, that history would record.
Barkin picked up another padd and re-read its contents. He sighed. Then, with a distinct lack of enthusiasm and deep misgivings, he affixed his signature to Starfleet General Order 5479, ordering the Fleet, with the exception of Enterprise, which was on a critical diplomatic mission bearing directly on the unfolding crisis, to deploy to the Romulan Neutral Zone.
VIII.
Things had not gone as Guinan planned.
She had started by telling Kim and Ron of her understanding of their status under Klingon law, how they were all but married, that all they needed to do was exchange the Oath and they would be wed under Klingon law, and how, given their standing within Klingon society, their union would be recognized under Federation law.
Kim had listened quietly but intently.
Ron fidgeted before blurting out, "I can't do it. I'm sorry, I just can't do it, KP."
Kim, who had been as caught off guard as Ron by what Guinan was suggesting, looked at him. Much to her surprise, she was crestfallen. She had taken what they did with the Klingons seriously; apparently, Ron had seen things differently. She stood up and smoothed out the front of her uniform. "I understand, Ron," she said in a distant voice.
"Kim, look, I, you, uh …" he stammered.
"I think I should be going," she said as she walked to the door. Before she left, she turned and said, "I still love you."
Then the doors slid shut behind her.
IX.
Kim wandered the corridors aimlessly, not sure where to go.
She was angry, hurt, confused. She loved Ron, of that she was sure. And she was confident he loved her in return. Yet given a way to stay on board, Ron was still going to leave with that stupid bat'leth.
The sensible part of her said it was just as well – getting married after one week of dating made little sense. Their romantic relationship, as intense and as deep as it was, forged in the crucible of recent events and built on a foundation of nearly two decades of friendship, was still developing, still new territory for both of them. Better to date, have a long engagement, then get married. Though she wondered if that was really going to happen; if Ron followed his newly found Klingon muse, he might drift away from her. A long-distance interstellar relationship was difficult to maintain under the best circumstances; Ron being a big wheel on Qo'noS didn't strike Kim as optimal for their long-term romantic prospects.
Her frustration began to mount. She wanted to hit something. Kicking might be satisfying, too, she told herself.
She made her way to the gym. There, she changed into some workout clothes and began to pummel a punching bag, first with her fists, then with her feet.
"Ouch …"
Kim turned to the familiar voice.
"… Remind me not to get on your bad side. I'd hate for you to do to me what you're doing to that bag."
"So not going to happen, Commander. I'm really not interested in a court martial."
"Good to hear," Riker said, flashing her a friendly grin that said this was going to be a conversation between friends. "So, what's up? I thought you'd be spending every free moment with Ron, given what's happened."
She sighed. "I thought so, too …" she said, explaining the situation to her fellow officer.
"Kim, I know this is going to come as a surprise to you, but I'm not exactly the master of long-term relationships …"
Kim couldn't help but smile as she saw the impish twinkle in Riker's eyes. Will Riker was known as a player whose idea of commitment seemed to be a second date.
"… But let me give you some advice, anyway. You and Ron have something special …"
"I know, Will," Kim said, still finding it strange to call senior officers by their first names when off duty; however, once she'd played poker with them and been assigned to the bridge crew, they had all, especially Riker, insisted on being addressed informally. "It's just that –"
"Do you know what an Imzadi is?" he asked.
Kim shook her head.
"It's a Betazoid term; it's actually kind of hard to explain," he explained. "It's like 'beloved,' but something more yet one needn't be romantically involved. Deanna is my Imzadi. As you may know, we were a couple once; now we're, well, best friends. Like you and Ron were before you began dating …"
Kim listened to Riker with rapt attention.
"… well, that's not quite right. Deanna is convinced that you two are in a league of your own, and I have to agree. It's not like Deanna and I have known each other our entire lives."
"That's ferociously sweet, Will, but just a short while ago, when presented with the option of taking the Oath and solemnizing our status as Chosen One and Consort …"
Riker cocked an eyebrow.
"… Sorry. It's some Klingon thing; it would be the same as marrying me, which would let us stay together and let him keep the Sword of Kahless. Anyway, Ron blurted out that he couldn't do it. He reacted like I was asking him to share his quarters with a monkey …"
Riker shot Kim a perplexed glance.
"… long story, don't ask," she said.
"Kim," Riker replied, "Did you ask him why?"
"Well, no, but it seemed pretty clear he thought –"
"You know," Riker interjected, "you like to jump to conclusions …"
Kim was about to protest but Riker held up two hands to stop her.
"… I do, too," he said with a grave expression. "Eight days ago, I decided you weren't ready to be promoted to lieutenant, but Deanna noticed a surge in your confidence after Ron arrived and encouraged me to wait on making a recommendation. I decided to give you a shot to prove yourself."
"The array," Kim whispered.
Riker nodded. "And you did, so I'm glad I listened to Deanna; I was going to make a recommendation without all the facts. Turned out deciding to give you that extra pip was one of the easiest things the captain's had to do in a long time. It's a damned shame Nechayev took it away; you earned it."
Kim sat silently for a moment, considering what Riker had told her. "If you'll excuse me, I need to find Ron."
X.
After Kim had left, Ron stared at the door, then Guinan. The look on Kim's face told him that he'd hurt her more than he ever imagined possible – and that was the last thing he intended. Without saying a word, he got up and ran for the turbolift, knowing what he had to do.
Moments later, the doors opened on the bridge. He exited and jogged down the ramp.
Picard looked up. "Mr. Stoppable?"
"Time for the Chosen Dude to call in some favors, Captain," he said.
Picard gazed at Ron. "Oh?"
"Yeah. We need to talk and I need to make a long distance call, pronto …"
XI.
Kim couldn't fathom why he was in Picard's ready room, but that's where the computer told her she'd find Ron.
She wondered if he was arranging transport to Qo'noS; that would be a logical place for him to take the Sword. She didn't care, though. All she knew was that she needed to talk with him. Regardless of how surprised she was by what Ron said, she knew she shouldn't have walked out on him. She was sure she would never forget the pained look on his face when she said she thought she should go.
The turbolift arrived at the bridge. She exited and found Data sitting in the captain's chair.
"Ron is in with the captain, Ensign. I believe they are expecting you."
Her curiosity piqued, Kim approached the doors, pressed the chime, announced herself, and entered.
"Sir …" she said, looking at her commanding officer, who was wearing a bemused expression.
"Ensign, if you'll excuse me," Picard said, leaving Kim and Ron alone.
The two longtime friends turned lovers looked at one another.
"Ron, I'm sorry, I …"
"Kim, sit down," he said. "Please."
Her attention captured by his serious tone of voice, she took a seat on the small couch, where he joined her.
"I shouldn't have wigged out back there, KP."
"Ron …" she began to protest.
"Just listen, 'kay?" he asked as he took her hands. "It all hit me out of the blue. I know what we said with the Klingons about Chosen Ones and Consorts and everything. I think it's cool they think we're mated or whatever. But I'm not, we're not, Klingon." Ron nervously began to bite his lip, Kim responded by squeezing his hands. "KP, it would be awesome to be married, really married, to you; I didn't forget that talk we had the first night we were together. But I'm scared. I mean, this is all so new and things are happening so quickly and I don't want to mess things up like I always do …"
"Ron, I don't know what you're talking about," she said. "Since the moment you stepped on this ship you've been incredible. Brave, resourceful, loyal, funny, romantic, loving, ferociously sexy."
He reddened, then smiled sheepishly. "Thanks, KP. Look, here's the deal: saying we're married because the Klingons say we are just seems wrong. So," he took a deep breath, "I just used Captain Picard's subspace communications thingie to make a priority call to your dad …"
Kim's eyes seemed to grow as large as the saucer section of the Enterprise-D.
"… Explained the situation, and asked him if it was okay to marry you. After I convinced him you were okay – man, did he freak when he saw my face – and told him what was up, he said 'yes,' though he did promise that if I do anything to hurt you he's going to use me for some trans-dimensional travel experiments he's been cooking up. So," Ron said as he dropped off the couch and onto one knee, "I know it's all backwards, and we'll probably screw things up a lot at the beginning because we're both new at the whole relationship thing and we'll have fights and I'll have to sleep on the floor of the Shuttle Bay and we won't always know what to do and you'll have days when you'll want to shoot me out a photon torpedo tube and I'll think you're being too bossy, but I love you, and have for a long, long time, and want to be with you for the rest of my life and, well, will you marry me anyway? In a, uh, ceremony that humans might recognize?"
Kim smiled, then felt herself begin to tear up. She had never imagined being proposed to in this manner, most definitely not just a week after she began dating someone. But the last seven days had been nothing if not a series of unexpected events and revelations, right from the moment Ron appeared on the transporter pad and lost his trousers, eliciting a reaction on her part that she came to recognize as the emergence of her love for him. She brought her hands to her mouth, closed her eyes, opened them, then nodded, at first slowly, then more vigorously. Then she took Ron's hand and whispered, "Yes … Imzadi."
Ron didn't know what an Imzadi was, but the expression on Kim's face told him it had to be something pretty darned badical.
XII.
Given that the Orionisi were due to arrive in a little over three hours and it was learned that the transport Mathewes, which Nechayev would demand that Ron board for the trip back to Earth, would be on station just four hours after that, Captain Picard suggested the ceremony proceed as soon as possible. It was agreed that Kim and Ron would meet back on the bridge within the hour.
There wasn't much time for preparations or to extend invitations, so Kim and Ron decided to split forces. Ron spoke with Worf, Data, Rufus, O'Brien, and Geordi, along with his two assistants from the galley. All were honored to be part of the festivities, though Worf was disappointed that Ron chose not to have a traditional Klingon wedding. Kim, meanwhile, approached Guinan; Yori; Deanna; Beverly; Riker, who was bemused to be included with the women; her old colleagues from Security, and Bonnie, who was surprised but pleased to be invited by her erstwhile rival.
Much to Bonnie's annoyance, she was unable to attend due to preparations for the conference; still, she felt she could participate by ensuring Nechayev was kept fully occupied, lest she try to find some way to disrupt the wedding. Bonnie had seen enough of the admiral to be convinced that Nechayev, despite her respect for Kim's abilities and flash of humanity on Gowron's ship, had it out for both Kim and Ron. A few days earlier she would have encouraged her boss's animus; now she thought it rather pointless and unproductive. Kim was just a lowly junior officer and Ron was an out-of-work cook. If you're going to get catty, Bonnie thought, it should be with someone worthy of your attention.
Bonnie found another way to be involved, too: knowing Kim was going to be busy getting ready for the ceremony and half-convinced Ron would show up on the bridge in one of his old jerseys, she insisted on picking out a suit for him. There was no way she was going to let him dress like a dork for his wedding. Some things just weren't done.
Ron arrived first and, at Data's prompting, took a place before the giant view screen next to Picard, who had donned his dress uniform.
Kim arrived shortly thereafter.
Ron had always assumed he'd be at Kim's wedding. He hoped that he would be in the wedding party and imagined she would be wearing a white dress with her long auburn hair cascading about her shoulders. Now, he was indeed at her wedding, but he was the groom and she was wearing her dress uniform with her hair put up. As he watched her emerge from the turbolift and walk down the ramp, he thought she was breathtaking and couldn't help but daydream about how nice it would be to let down her hair.
Kim looked at Ron. She had always assumed he'd be at her wedding; indeed, she assumed her best friend would be the best man. Instead, he was the groom, wearing a suit that, with his scars and eye-patch, made the usually goofy-looking Ron Stoppable look dashing and alluringly dangerous. Kim knew she'd have to thank Bonnie for helping Ron pick out his wardrobe; she smiled as she imagined what her fiancé of one hour would be wearing had he received fashion assistance from Worf or Data.
The two people who had known one another since the age of four and a half reached for each other's hands and exchanged smiles. Then, they turned to face Picard.
"For centuries," he announced, "the most joyful honor afforded to a ship's captain has been the right to join two people in matrimony. Today, I am most fortunate to exercise this ancient privilege as we gather to witness the union of these two old friends, these two old best friends, who have –"
The bridge was filled with a blinding light.
"Q!" Picard roared.
"Q!" Kim growled.
"Dude, I am so not making you lobster risotto! In case you haven't noticed, I'm getting married here," Ron snapped.
"I know, and I'm so sorry I'm late," Q said. "Such poor form from the best man."
Kim folded her arms across her chest and arched an eyebrow. "You've got some 'splainin' to do, Omnipotent Boy."
"Ah, my dear Kimberly. So lovely, yet so tart. This is supposed to be the biggest day of your life. And this is the best you can do? A dowdy old uniform?"
"I like the uniform, Q," Ron said in a warning tone, eliciting a smile from his bride-to-be.
"Yes, I'm sure you do. But you also get your clothes at Smarty Mart. You just let your best man take care of everything."
"Q –" Kim, Ron, and Picard all said as he snapped his fingers.
Kim looked down to see herself wearing a beautiful yet simple white taffeta wedding gown. Ron found that he was dressed in a traditional black tuxedo, as were all the men, save Picard. The woman all wore surprisingly tasteful bridesmaids' dresses. The captain, much to his chagrin, found himself dressed as a minister.
"Much better, don't you think?" a now formally clad Q asked. "Oh, wait, something's missing."
He snapped his fingers and, much to everyone's complete surprise, Kim and Ron's families appeared on the bridge of Enterprise.
"Okay, this has now reached level-ten weirdness," Kim said to Ron.
"I'd actually go with level-fifteen," he replied.
"Kimmie-cub?" her father asked.
"Dr. James Timothy Possible, I've always wanted to meet you. You know, you're one of the smartest humans in the galaxy," Q enthused. "Though that's not saying much."
James Possible looked at Q, who reminded him of a variety show emcee he'd once seen at a convention of starship designers on Earth. "Kim, what have I told you about associating with show folk?"
"Dad, he's not show folk; he's an omnipotent being who –"
"Dr. P, don't worry," Ron said cutting off Kim. "It's a big ship and we usually stay away from the performers, who are just with us for a really short time until we can leave them off at New Las Vegas."
James breathed a sigh of relief before clapping Ron on the back. "I knew I could count on you, Ronald."
Kim's brothers, both high school seniors with plans to enroll at the Academy, began looking around the bridge; Ron's father, always easygoing, joined them. Kim's mother, who was clearly intrigued by what was happening, put her arm around Ron's mother as the latter woman, upon seeing her son's face, began mumbling "Ronnie" over and over.
"Could someone tell me how we got here?" Ann Possible, always the one to keep a level head and not be distracted, asked. While she was delighted to be present for her daughter's wholly unexpected but quite welcome marriage to Ron, she wanted answers.
"Long story, Mom," Kim said, giving Ann a buss on the cheek. "Welcome to my life."
Picard grabbed Q by the arm. "I hope you have had your fun. They deserve better than this."
Q looked at Picard and sighed. "You're right, Jean-Luc. You make a lousy cleric." With a flash he restored Picard's uniform. "Okay, carry on."
"Merde," Picard swore under his breath before taking a deep breath. He then cleared his throat and resumed the wedding ceremony.
"Do you, Kimberly Ann Possible, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, through sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do," she said.
"And do you, Ronald Stoppable, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, through sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do," he replied.
"Here," Q said, as he placed something in Ron's hand.
As Ron looked at his palm, his eyes grew wide.
"Where did you get these?" he asked.
"Don't be dense, Stoppable. I'm omnipotent. Consider it an extra tip for the badical snackage, as you call it."
"Uh, thanks," Ron said, before turning to a curious Kim. He placed one of the gold wedding bands Q had provided in her palm. She looked at the small circle of precious metal, then at Ron. He shrugged, then grinned, which earned him a smile. Then, each placed the band they held on the other's ring finger.
"By the power invested in me," Picard declared, "by the United Federation of Planets and by the custom of the sea and stars, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
Ron gently placed his fingertips on Kim's scarred cheek as he pulled her in for a kiss. As they began engaging in what could only be described as warp-powered lip smacking, the assembled party began to clap with enthusiasm.
Picard beamed and then announced, "May I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Stoppable!"
The clapping, already vigorous, grew in intensity, and was joined by raucous cheering.
Ron wrapped his arms around Kim's waist and held her close to him. She brought her arms around his neck, then rested her head on his shoulder. She sighed contentedly, then pulled back, looked into his one good eye, and brushed her lips against his ravaged face.
And though the nature of their relationship had evolved with breakneck speed over the course of nine very full days, moving from friendship to romance to marriage, one thing remained unchanged: when Kim and Ron whispered "I love you" at the same moment, it was Kim who quietly called "Jinx!" first, earning herself a soda.
XIII.
There weren't 900 of them, but there were quite a few, all wearing black and red form-fitting suits. They had black patches where there mouths should have been and what appeared to be green goggles where their eyes should have been. Each was large, hulking, even. Together, they made for an impressive sight.
"Behold, my army of doom!" Drakken proclaimed with a grand flourish. "With these synthodrones and our friends from Starfleet, we will be able to overwhelm Enterprise and conquer the galaxy! Bwahahahahahahaha!"
"He always like this?" Lore asked.
"Yeah, comes with the territory. Rant, laugh maniacally, yadda yadda," Shego said, making clear she'd seen this particular act many times before. "Then he fails. Though, to give him credit, this time he actually seems to have some idea of what he's doing."
"Oh, I know what I'm doing, Shego," Drakken said as he spun to face her. "With the Federation shuttle, Lore and Lieutenants Carter and Du will be able to gain easy access to Enterprise. You, Eric, and I meanwhile, will follow along in Drak Force One with the synthodrones. After Lore has gained control of the starship, we'll be able to land the troops and begin our march to total galactic domination. Bwahahah—"
"And just how exactly do you expect us to gain control of the ship?" Lore asked.
"Please, Lore," Drakken replied condescendingly. "You have the most advanced positronic net in the universe, a doppelganger on board Enterprise, and two Starfleet officers who between them must be able to gain access to every system on the ship."
"You don't have a plan and you want us to improvise?" Lore sneered.
"Must I do everything? I give you the tools, you finish the job!"
"Great, he's quoting Churchill at me" the android muttered. "Okay," Lore said aloud. "Just make sure Tweedledee and Tweedledum are ready to take orders from me."
"Of course. Lieutenants Du and Carter, be good zombies and listen to your Uncle Lore. He's going to need your help in laying a whole heap of freak on your crewmates!"
"Yes, Dr. Drakken," the two officers replied in identical monotones.
XIV.
Yori watched as Kim and Ron kissed again. Then she thought of what Fiske had asked her and she was pained. While the ambassador had not asked her to choose between her friends and the Federation, she knew, were she faced with such a situation, what she would do without hesitation. She could do no other, given her years of Yamanuchi and Starfleet training. For while the young officer had come to think of Kim as her friend, and had been attracted to Ron, it was clear to her that the needs of the Federation and its half trillion citizens outweighed the needs of any one or two individuals. That, after all, was the path of honor …
TBC …