A/N: And the next chapter...

"Its time you became the wolf you really are," Skylar said, his voice turning serious again after his outbreak of amusement. Faolan only watched him, having no answer to his statement. She was intensely curious, for she was a werewolf, no matter how much a Herald, and she wished to know these werewolves, how they lived, and learn more about the wolf inside her. And it was all being offered with open arms. There was no trap, no poison within the love- werewolves accepted, unconditionally- well, you had to be a werewolf, but that was it. Yet the Herald part of her, the part that Raul had Chosen to become a Herald, winced away.

I'm not one of you! she wanted to shout at the same time as, Show me what you know! She wanted to disassociate, and not befriend them. But she liked Skylar, and she liked Taryn and Magdalia. She liked these people who sent out their friends to kill her people, to hurt Valdemar. No one every said spying would be so hard, Faolan thought, And all for the wrong reasons. I expected it to be hard to keep my secret, to live amongst enemies… but they never said the enemies would be like friends. They never said I could like them.

"I think the Change still hurts you because you're keeping yourself in bars," Skylar said, unaware of Faolan's conflict, his gaze distant, "So every time the moon turns big and round, your wolf self must break out, break through your self hate and misery. And when you Change not on the full moon, as you just did and obviously have before, you're doing it against your unconscious will. It's time you and your self get to know each other, because you're not hating a wolf, you're hating yourself, and that is what hurts."

Fao stared up at him, feeling half like crying and half like laughing, for Skylar was giving her the information Raul had never been able to, simply because no one knew. She wanted so badly to take what Skylar was offering, but she wasn't sure if she should. She had managed to live with her wolf self locked up, for she was certainly happy in her years at the Heraldic Collegium, though short they were. But the true joys had been few… Mostly, she'd been serious, controlled… self hating?

Skylar kneeled down and hugged Faolan, wrapping his bare, strong arms around her and giving a tight squeeze before pulling away. There was a smile on his face when Fao looked at him again and she couldn't help but smile back- it was that contagious.

"Big, huh?" he asked and Faolan nodded slowly, feeling more calm and confident than a moment before. She would learn what he had to teach, she would accept the werewolves, for she was a werewolf. She was one of them. But even with them, she was first and foremost a Herald, and she could never forget that. It's okay to learn from your enemies, Faolan thought, smiling up at Skylar, And enemies… I guess they can be friends, too. Living with you, I think maybe I can teach you something too. Because I don't believe you're going to war because you're evil savages… So there must be another way, one where you don't kill my friends, my family, and my people. Ones where you don't kill Carry Rolf and put Raleigh into a coma… There has got to be a better way.

"Show me?" Faolan asked, her eyes serious.

"All right," Skylar said, giving her a warm smile, "You can always feel your wolf self, I can tell, even though you have yours in a closet. I can see where you think that's the right way, because one's wolf self seems rather… evil, upon first encounters. But she's not because you're not. Me and my wolf self are so at peace with each other they are no longer distinct personalities. Werewolves, when they get angry, get angry, but because they work with their wolf self, it never goes overboard. What I want you to do, right now, Faolan, is open up that door. Don't try and change, don't try and not change, just look at your wolf self and say 'hi', okay?"

Faolan nodded and closed her eyes, searching within herself. Her wolf self was there, hiding in waiting, as it always was, and the moment she started looking it was there, growling. Hi, Faolan thought, holding back her instinct to shove that growl part of herself away. She felt the wolf burn through her, not in a Change, but in her blood. Yet it was not part of her. There, but not part. Faolan had pushed it away to hard to just let it come out all of a sudden. She looked up at Skylar, wondering what to do next.

"Good," he said with a smile, encouraging and kind, "And enough for tonight. Pressing never works. Two days will give you time to practice acknowledging your wolf self, merging to the two together. Two nights from now we will change together, and perhaps go for a romp in the woods," he said with a grin and wink and Faolan knew he was speaking to her wolf self, and that wolf self was growling inside her in appreciation.

That wolf self is me, Faolan thought as they stood and made there way back through the woods, It's all me, and I've been doing it wrong all this time. It was odd, to think of Changing wrong, because it was a Companion who taught her such, and together it seemed reasonable. But now… sitting among those who Changed in peace and happiness, things were different.

Faolan fell asleep that night thinking of Christopher Alaska, because he was truly the first who knew she was a werewolf, even though she never formally told anyone until she remembered Carry Rolf's death. He knew, somehow… but he knew, and Fao knew he knew. His had been a quiet acceptance, and Faolan, curled up on a bear fur under a shelter made of living trees, could see him thinking of her as Faolan the Werewolf, instead of Rathmir, where she was just Faolan, wolf, human, or whatever form she might take. Others, like the Queen and Rolan and Aram and the Queen's Own, thought of her as a Herald with a unique quality. No words like werewolf could be used around them much, it was all dainty avoidance terms there. Only from Alaska did she get true acceptance, true understanding of what she really was.

The next day traded smiles brought Taryn back to her side, but Fao got the feeling Taryn thought of her as 'different' after that. They played together, talked about weapons and war and the Rocks game, but now, Taryn saw her as more than just the new werewolf, and they talked about it a little more too. And Taryn pointed something out that made Faolan a little bit nervous.

"You're calm too," Taryn said as they sat in the top of a pine tree they'd just scrambled up, "A lot of newcomers, kids, anyway, they're really emotional. They cry a lot, and stick to Magdalia, cause they've been so long without love and acceptance. But you… you walk in and you're cool with everything. It's like you expected to find us sooner or later."

"I kind of did," Faolan admitted, "I mean… Markku had to come from somewhere, right? After living on my own for a while, and getting to the point where I was pretty much a weredog… I got sick of it. And I decided that there had to be others out there, those who weren't crazy like Markku so.. I set out to look for you. And Skylar found me. So here I am."

"You're cool, Fao," Taryn said with a grin, bouncing a little on her branch and make the pine needles brush against each other, "I thought your Change was weird at first, but Skylar says you'll be normal soon, and… it's cool. Wanna go swimming?"

Faolan nodded, because she did, and it was hot. But she was also nodding to what Taryn had said, and she realized too, at that moment, that Taryn was a friend. Everyone at the Heraldic Collegium had been older than her. She'd been surrounded by many big brothers and big sisters, guardians and watchers… but no true friends. She definitely called Alaska a friend, but he wasn't the kind of person you could just play with. And she never really got to know his friends and the girls… they were sisters, while Maemi and Kayin were like younger siblings. Though they were the same physical age, she really couldn't mentally relate too well, but Taryn was old enough that Fao could look up to her and talk to her, and that was something she'd been missing.

When they reached the foot of the tree, their bare feet pressing against pine needle once more, Fao said to Taryn, "I like you too, Taryn."

Taryn grinned and they chased each other to the stream, which was a ways off from the village, but close enough that water could easily be carried or fetched when needed. There was a place where the rock in the ground made the stream widen and deepen, forming a slower moving pool about three feet deep in the center. The bottom was all rock still, slippery with algae, and the water was icy cold from the mountain tops, but Faolan liked it like that.

The two tore off their clothes the moment the stream was in sight and leapt in, naked and with splotchy tans from wearing clothing, and giggling so much that the shock of the cold water almost knocked the air from Faolan as she landed and sunk in. She struggled for a purchase with her feet as she sputtered to the top, strands of red hair dangling in her face. She looked at Taryn and giggled again, for the other girl's hair was also soaking and dangly.

"Brrr," Taryn said with a grin, which Faolan quickly caught.

"Mmm," Faolan answered, jumping up and down on the less slippery rock she'd found to stand on. The sharper ones cut into her feet, but not enough to do any damage.

Taryn ducked under water and frog kicked her way around the pool, bubbles marking her passage on the surface and she came up on the other side of Faolan, gasping for breath and laughing.

"No fishies in here!" she announced, "None we can catch and sink our claws into!"

She snarled and clenched her hands into claws, miming holding a live, wriggling fish. Faolan laughed until she saw the girl's skin darkening with fur. She stopped short, slightly scared and not sure of what to do. When Taryn noticed Fao's expression she stopped.

"Huh?" she said at first and then, "Oh," and the fur disappeared and then, "Sorry. I forget- Skylar mentioned I shouldn't play Change around you yet."

"Oh," Faolan said, feeling uncomfortable, so she jumped up and down a bit to get the blood moving in her body- the water was cold.

"No worries," Taryn said, "I don't mind. A lot of new werewolves have troubles- yours are just different, right?"

Faolan smiled and nodded, "I guess so."

"Right," Taryn said, a grin brightening her face once more, "Let's go look for crayfish."

"Sure," Faolan said, ducking under the water and opening her eyes. The water was very clear, so she could see right to the bottom where the algae covered rocks lurked to trip the unwary. But crayfish liked shallower waters, so Faolan only looked in the deep for fun, with Taryn, turning over rocks and stirring up mud in the silence beneath the water, only coming up for air and giggles.

A/N: For those who are interested in role playing, I'm working on a Valdemar RPG on avidgamers 1.0. The URL is Go check it out!