A/N: Thanks to those who keep reviewing! And for my reviewers... another chapter. (Even if you think this story is bad, boring, or blah, please review and tell me that so I can change it!) Also- if you're a role player (or not), check out my new Valdemar RPG. Just follow the link to my homepage.

Faolan continued to meet with Skylar, alone, to learn to gain what Skylar termed as true control over her werewolf self. Because, as he explained, hers was no true control. What she had was a very abused wolf, abused into submission and thus apparently tame. But no wolf abused like that is truly under one's control, and when you grow lax, they leap out and kill you or someone else. It gave Faolan chills to imagine her wolf leaping out suddenly one day at the Heraldic Collegium…

I came here to spy, she thought, But now I'm here to learn…

By the time the next full moon rolled around Skylar termed her almost ready to accept herself. He hadn't had her change yet after all, so the first day of the three forced Changes would be her first Change since her first meeting with Skylar. That day, before the Change was among them, the werewolves were all very busy. The clearing with the center shelter was being cleared out and the fire pit cleaned. No fire tonight- fire was a thing of humans, and tonight was the dance of the wolves. The actual Initiation and Telling would be the next night, on the true full moon, but the dance was three days long, and everyone was ready to shed their human skins to become closer to their animal selves.

Taryn was excited, but also a bit sad, because, as she told Faolan, they were too young to go on the Hunts, which traditionally occurred on the nights of the full moon. Skylar had very specific instructions for Faolan for the first night. He thought it was best her first change after the lessons was with all the other werewolves, and he wanted her to stay with Taryn. Follow her, do as she did, just stick with her. That was his instruction.

And then, as the sun began to set, Faolan began to pick up on Taryn's excitement. She remembered being totally a wolf, when she had first changed, in that Waystation with Raul, and the horrible rage and anger she'd felt at everything- but now she was starting to remember the joy, the fierce, wild joy at running through the woods, that love of being free… She'd hadn't felt like that since controlling her Change, in wolf form or out. Is that what Skylar was offering her?

If I were a normal eight year old, I would hardly remember that… Faolan thought, for her entire life was crystal clear behind her, But there are already so many memories in my head, what's a few more?

At that moment Faolan could feel the moon begin to near the horizon, and it's pull on her grew increasingly stronger. The sun was still an hour or so away from setting, but such was the way of summer. She and Taryn traded glances, identical smiles gracing their faces. Then Skylar came over and motioned to Faolan. She stood and followed him off a ways, wondering if this was just a few last minute instructions or… something else.

"How do you feel Faolan?" he asked, his voice low and hurried.

"Nervous," she answered, "Excited."

"Good," he said, with a satisfied smile, "And just remember, the wolf is you. It's okay if it still hurts- you have a serious mental barrier to break through, a few weeks of talking about it won't change anything. But try, that's the point. Got it?"

Faolan nodded and he smiled and straightened up, giving Faolan a supportive pat on her shoulder, "Then let's do it."

They wove back through the trees into the camp and Faolan quickly located Taryn amidst the werewolves moving about. The older ones were quiet and serious, mentally preparing for the challenge of the hunt, while the younger were rambunctious and jumpy- Taryn included. Skylar was isolated in his age group, but he seemed a mix of excited and edgy. Faolan wished it were tomorrow night, so she could finally hear the Why of the war, and tell Raul about it- after all, that's the true reason she was here. It made her feel guilty in a really horrible way, to want to spill the secrets of the werewolves so much, because getting to know them.. made it different.

"Skylar Bearsbane!" someone yelled and Fao's attention was caught. There was some shoving going on near the other side of the clearing, and Fao quickly saw that Skylar was at the center of it. She frowned. Bearsbane?

"Bearsbane! Bearsbane!" a shout went up again, and others took it, turning it into a chant. Taryn beside her starting yelling and so Fao joined in as well, thinking of the bearskin that made the door of the center hut.

Then, suddenly, amongst the chanting, that filled each and every one of them, Faolan felt a chill run through her body and the entire village fell silent. Fao's blue eyes flicked towards the horizon, but she could not yet see the moon. But it was up. It was definitely up.

She took a deep breath and looked and Taryn, feeling choked and scared. The girl gave her a grin, and then a grow, as fur sprouted over her body. Fao held the change back a moment longer and then let loose, allowing it to consume her body and mind. At first it hurt, as it always had, in a searing pain like hot pokers burning through her blood and body.

I am a werewolf, Faolan thought, missing Raul, The wolf is me. The wolf is me. The WOLF is ME. Come wolf! I AM THE WOLF!

Reddish fur sprang up on her arms and her limbs shifted in length and shape. Her muzzle pushed forward and her nose turned black. Then an anger pushed up from deep within her and it was so strong it blocked out the pain. Now anger burned through her body, terrible and painful in itself- for the anger was mostly at herself. Guilt pressed one side of Fao's mind, for imprisoning this part of herself, and anger was the other. But Fao knew that her mind couldn't be divided any longer- for that was causing the pain and the hate.

I'm sorry, Faolan thought, Forgive me.

And as she lay on the ground, panting, her anger subsided- at least, that anger. There was still a deep frustration, and a sort of sly anger at the world, as when she had first changed- but the original, burning, hot and cold anger was gone as quickly as it had come.

For a moment, Faolan almost pushed the wolf away again, for being angry, but then she realized, I AM angry at the world. I was not dealt a very nice hand in life!

But then a cold nose pressed into her side and Faolan looked over to see a normal, brownish gray wolf staring at her with reddish brown eyes. Taryn's form was lanky, like Faolan's, except slightly bigger, nearing full grown. She looked about as big as a normal, adult wolf. But the difference was in her paws, tail, and ears. When Fao's gaze was caught Taryn whined with excitement, her tail giving a twitch of a wag.

And Faolan forgot the last four years of her life. She forgot her past lives. She almost forgot she was a Herald, but she never forgot Raul. And with a nip to Taryn's tail the two were rolling in the dirt. Fao rejected everything that wasn't the then and now, and wrestled, her jaws snapping on empty air and her claws scrabbling at dirt.

But an eerie, lonely howl jarred the two from the fight, and they stopped simultaneously to stare at the wolf standing on the living tree home, dark and big, with his nose lifted to the stars. Those strong enough and old enough to hunt answered, and Fao followed Taryn's call in not answering. In a quick blur of motion the hunters were off, slipping silently off through the trees, leaving the village to the old and the young- and Magdalia, watcher of the pups.

There was a growl and Faolan whirled around quickly, to find Taryn watching her with those reddish brown eyes, dark and glistening with a playful fierceness. Faolan gave an answering whine as Taryn burst off through the trees, in a different direction from the hunters. They would be back by morning, Faolan sensed, and now was the time for the young to play. She followed Taryn's wagging gray tail through the dark, her eyes picking out every detail of the forest landscape- entirely in black and white. Things that as a human would be cloaked in shadow were crystal clear before her- a joy Faolan had little thought of in the years past.

She howled, her voice high and wavering and Taryn paused ahead to sit back on her haunches and answer that. It thrummed through Faolan's blood and she reveled in it. The night whittled away as the two werewolf pups explored the woods- splashing through streams, crawling into caves, finding views from rocks on top of the mountains around the valley, traveling miles and miles and stopping to play in between.

The moon was sinking again in the sky when they returned to the village. It was quiet and dark, and in the center of the village was Magdalia, huge and bushy as a wolf- two feet tall lying down, with a multitude of pups laying beside her, ranging all ages, a few near Fao's or Taryn's. Only one other was adult- a male werewolf, his coat color indistinguishable in the light, but smelling strangely. Faolan wrinkled her nose, trying to place the scent, but was unable. It bothered her little, so she and Taryn curled up near the rest, exhausted from their night of play. They fell asleep, nose to tail, giving each other heat in the cool of the night, sleeping as kin, sleeping as werewolves.

The next night was decidedly different. Faolan had woken that morning still a wolf- as everyone else was, but the moon's pull was gone and she knew she could Change back if she wished. But, Faolan realized, she didn't particularly feel like being human. Taryn woke up at Faolan's movement, and she too, made no move to Change back to her human form, so with a lick to her friend's face, Fao started sniffing around for something to nibble on. Magdalia was awake, watching seven or eight puppies snore. She met Fao's eye and gave a slight nod, acknowledging her awareness.

It wasn't until well after midday that the Hunters returned. They were greeted with a series of whines and licks and play wrestling, Faolan joining in with the rest. Each of the large, brawny, adult wolves carried a haunch of some sort of large creature, a few sported wounds, but none serious. To Faolan's finely tuned nose, the meat smelled like deer, and the scent made her mouth water. The feasted on it until all the stomachs bulged and everyone was, once more, satiated and sleepy. But the sun was only a few hours from the horizon, and everyone knew tonight was the special night. Tonight was the full moon.

Skylar was the first to turn back, standing up into human form in a Change that seemed at once both effortless and seamlessly graceful. He made the Change look like a dance, and it made Faolan ache with longing for that kind of Change. At his example, everyone else started to Change back, Faolan with a bit of trepidation.

She called at her human self and said to herself, Lets now put on a human skin. And her body agreed with her, taking back the claws and teeth and superior senses, returning her hands and mind and words. Once Changed, the group momentarily broke up to search for clothing, only returning once everyone was clothed in the scanty leathers that were their summer wear.

Chatter was high then, with discussion flying about the hunt. Faolan listened with half interest, her mind on what was to come- the Initiation and Story. She sensed the return to human form signaled that.

And she was right- for soon Skylar motioned for the werewolves to quiet and he sat down on a log stump next to the fire pit. Everyone else copied him, folding down cross legged onto the dirt or finding logs, all eyes on the wolf that seemed to be the leader of the pack. Skylar caught Faolan's eyes and gave her a grin, which Fao shakily returned.

"Tonight," he started, his voice ringing out over the wilderness, "Tonight is the full moon, the day of most importance for those of our kind. Tonight our blood will sing with the wildness of our ancestors and we will romp through the forest- the only creature with nothing to fear. We will howl for our sisters and brothers learning control on the front, and howl for those who did not make their lonely way home, and howl for those long gone… But first- the story.

"A thousand years ago the Mage Storms wracked the world of Velgarth… and many things were Changed. The Pelagirs are evidence of that, and there is where we find our origin. Somewhere, somehow, the magic warped and twisted a human and a wolf- combining to two into one. At the full moon and the two days surrounding it, the first werewolf, and all his descendants, were compelled by the power of the moon to take on wolf form- for the moon is the wolf's sigil, and he howls at it for that reason. And on the day of the new moon-for then the moon, though in the sky, casts no light on the world- on that day, the werewolf cannot be a wolf, for humans are creatures of the day and sun, and the moon holds no power over them. Deep in the Pelagirs the first werewolf roamed, unable to accept being both wolf and human. Crazed with rage as a wolf and wildly emotionally as a human, he created children among the Hawk Brothers and others unfortunate to find themselves in his path. Along the line, at some time, the werewolves formed a pack of creatures comparable to the wrysa, one of the Mage Storm changed creatures that stalks the Pelagirs today. Great and terrible to behold, they rampaged, hunting as wolves and little returning to human form. Though they tried to hold a pack, their lack of cooperation inside their own minds and bodies stopped them from truly being a pack, and they often tore themselves apart. They were not human, and they were not wolf.

"But finally… finally, they realized they could not live this way any longer, and a first werewolf went to the Mages of the Hawk Brothers, to seek their help. And help the Tayledras did. They taught that werewolf to Change upon his own will, and not lose himself in the emotions of either wolf or human part. But it was not enough. This werewolf, daring and alone, one day lost himself in his human anger and maimed a Tayledras brother- in turn, making him into a werewolf. He believed after that no werewolf could ever gain true control or have true acceptance within himself or herself, and thus he left, to live and die alone. He was wrong. This Tayledras brother had seen what the werewolf had learned to do, and knew that werewolves were not the beasts they appeared to be. He was the first to learn the way. He knew, even once he learned the same control his sire had, that there was a chance he could still lose that control if he become enraged enough. So this werewolf left the Pelagirs and went to a people where a bloodlust and red rage was common, to experience it for himself. He joined a Mercenary band and went to war. And when he returned, he returned with a control no werewolf had achieved before, because he had experience true anger. The anger of life, the anger of death. And having experienced it, having lost total control, he knew he'd never go past that point again, for he knew where it was.

"But he did not return to the Hawk Brothers, for no longer was he a Bird. He was a Wolf, and he found one of the packs of the Pelagirs, and tamed them. Then he sent them to the Mercenaries, only to return after regaining true control. He did this with all the werewolves he found, until his death. We are the results of his work. And here we stand, a pack of werewolves… For those newcomers…" at this, Skylar looked at Faolan, "We are normally nomadic, moving around and sending our young off for a few years to return after gaining true control. But when Karse declared a need for a large amount of mercenaries… a few packs banded together and offered up their children. We settled here, on Karsite land, to wait for the end of the war, a time when we shall need to travel the lands of Velgarth, nomadic again, and search for other mercenary groups. We feel no true hatred of the Valdemarens, but we do what we must, for life, for love, and for ourselves. We are the werewolves!"

At this shout others joined, shouting things like, "Karse!" and "Werewolves!" or "The Pack!" Faolan was too deep in thought to join in this time. Her mind was in turmoil as she digested Skylar's words, the werewolves shouting around her. And all she could think of was, There has got to be a better way.