Panicking, he banged on the door. He could hear her inside, though it was locked. Suddenly it occurred to him and he slapped himself, grabbing his wand and muttering Alohomora. Swinging the door open, he felt his soul tear in two. There she was, on the floor, legs folded uselessly beneath her, face in the toilet as she coughed helplessly, blood where air should have been. Grabbing a towel, he handed it to her and rubbed her back, watching as her shaking hands covered her mouth. Pulling her hair back, he lifted her into his arms easily. She convulsed, shivering violently and looking up at him with haunted eyes. "We need to get you to the doctor."

Unable to argue with him, she coughed again, her body limp as she continued to shiver. He arrived at St. Mungo's, holding her tightly against him as he followed the Medi-wizard. Already too familiar with the proceedings, he allowed himself to be sent out of the room. Giving warning that he would be back within the hour, he apparated to the house James and Lily were sharing. Now engaged, they were comfortable living together, and he banged on the door angrily, calling for them to hurry up. He didn't care what he was interrupting; it could wait. James opened the door, looking very frustrated as he demanded, "What is it Padfoot? We left Moony's twenty minutes ago, what is it that can't wait until tomorrow?"

As Sirius pushed his way past his best friend, he watched the anger fade from James' face. "Mira's at St. Mungo's."

"Is she okay? Lily! It's Sirius!"

Appearing from the kitchen, Lily brushed her red hair from her face, "Sirius, are you really this dependent on my fiancé? Oh, what is it?"

"Mira was having a fit when I got home. Couldn't figure out where she was for about ten minutes, then I heard her."

Anguish lighting her green eyes, Lily grasped his hands tightly, "Oh, Sirius, tell me she's okay. She's at St. Mungo's, right?"

Sirius nodded shortly, his face pale. "It wasn't a bad one, but she's shivering worse than ever. And she's starting to lose weight. I hadn't noticed that one before; she's usually good about catching these things. I have no idea how long she'd been sitting in the bathroom."

"Bathroom?"

James frowned, confused. Celaeno always retreated to the couch; she was smart enough to press a towel to her mouth and rest when these things started. Nodding, Sirius sank into a chair, "She was sitting on the floor, head in the loo. It was like she couldn't move. She didn't say anything or do anything when I picked her up."

"Do you think she's still getting worse?"

"I hope not," he replied, looking at Lily carefully, "but honestly, I think she might be. I guess we'll know soon. I should go back."

"I'll come with you."

Shaking his head and hugging the woman gently, Sirius insisted, "No, stay here. I'll come by tomorrow. I'm going to take her home and stay with her." Lily squeezed his hand as he left and turned back to James helplessly.

At St. Mungo's he was greeted by a face he knew well. "Dai. Thank Merlin, is she okay?"

Dai Llewllyn, James' godfather. There was no better person to be taking care of his Mira Celaeno. Dai shrugged, "For now she's fine. Come on, Sirius, you'd best sit down." Leading the young man into his office, he motioned to a chair and waited for Sirius to sit down.

"Look, I know this is going to be difficult. And it's difficult for me. I've known Cela since she was just a kid. But whatever those Death Eaters did to her, they knew what they were doing. This isn't just TB; this is the bacteria doing things that belong to different strains of TB. Plus the bacteria have infected more than just her lungs, which makes it even more dangerous and volatile. A body like Cela's has difficulty dealing with this when it's normal, so we can forget now. And medication isn't working. We've had to stop trying. It tends to make it worse, do nothing, or bring up even worse complications. I could do more, but the budget – anyway. She wanted me to tell you, I don't think she knows how to. Unless a miracle happens, there's nothing we can do now. Buy time, maybe, but with the way she's going she won't last another three years. Four, if we're lucky. I'm hoping for a miracle. But she's dying Sirius, and she's dying young."

Sirius sat, frozen, shock and horror setting in. "No. She can't be."

Jaw tight, Dai clapped the young man on the shoulder, "I know you care about her, all of you. But she's going. She really is. I'll leave you here."

He walked out, unable to witness the anguish that crawled over Sirius' face. "No. She's not dying. She's not. She can't be. Not now. I love her, dammit! She can't die now! I'll go for her, just let her be safe, let her be happy! She isn't going to die!"

Burying his face in his hands, he fought back tears before realizing that he was too distraught to even cry. He couldn't accept it, lamenting it was out of the question. He loved her. Well aware of that now, he fought the desperation growing within him. What timing he had! Fall in love with her just as she took a turn for the worst! No! His brain screamed it, still reeling from the shock, and he knew instantly that he could never let this woman go. So he had accepted his love for her, but the thought of losing her made him realize just how much. With a ferocity that scared him, more than life itself, so encompassing he was afraid he would explode, he loved her. Swallowing, not knowing that it had been over an hour rather than the seconds he had perceived, he stepped out. Shock had numbed him, anguish had made time stand still, and love had sped it all by in what felt like a minute. As he shut the door, he saw Dai.

Dai was surprised by the pallor and intensity of Sirius' face. The boy loved Mira Celaeno more than he had thought. Wishing he could have brought any news but the news he had delivered, he said softly, "We released her twenty minutes ago. You've been in there over an hour. I was just about to get you. She went back to your place."

Sirius opened his mouth to rage at Dai, partly because he had just realized that his lungs had also frozen in terror. Cutting him off, Dai added gently, "She loves you, you know. She was worried about you before she even mentioned the others."

The thought that Mira Celaeno could have actually chosen him stunned him and what was left of his lung capacity escaped him. His eyes darkened with passion, anguish, and reality and he gasped out breathlessly, "Thank you."

Dai watched as the young man ran off, desperate to find Celaeno. He stepped into his kitchen, surprised by how lovely she looked. He had expected her to look weaker, sicker, but she radiated through her pallor. Chocolate eyes rich, face like an ivory sculpture, and figure waving like a willow in the breeze. She flung herself into his arms, her slender frame pressed taunt against his, and she murmured, "Dai told you."

"Mm-hmm," Sirius nodded, inhaling her smell and feeling his gut tense as she rubbed against him.

Unable to reply, she kissed him. Not the gentle kiss he had wanted from her, but a hot, needy kiss. Pressing her body into his, she felt him harden. Hands tightening on her arms, Sirius began to devour her. Feeling her bend beneath his grasp he remembered why this wasn't a good idea. Hard as a rock and ready to explode, he pushed her away. "No, Mira. You need to get better. You need your rest."

So she couldn't distract him, she realized with a heavy heart. That look on his face, the darkness of his eyes, wrenched at her very soul. He still thought she could get better. Did he not understand what was going on? She sat, her back rigid and her eyes filling with tears. She could feel his eyes on her, and she knew he was still aroused. She had taken care of that well enough. So he wanted her. Dammit! She didn't want him to want her, she wanted him to need her. Shaking her head, she pushed such thoughts out of her head. Especially now, knowing that she would never be able to be there for him, want was enough. But if only he could look at her with the hunger in his gaze that she had seen when James looked at Lily – she didn't know if she would laugh or cry. But she would die happy. Just one look, just one of those looks that screamed adoration and need, something she wanted before she died and could never ask for. She could never want it, for his sake. Searching for her voice, she had to remind him. He had to understand. She did, after all. "Did you not hear Dai?"

He looked at her, eyes dark and heavy as he struggled to breathe. Desire, adoration, and terror ate at him. Did she not understand what it was doing to him? Before he had time to think about the answer her eyes turned to his, the luminous gaze clouded by tears as she digested the hunger in his gaze. The hunger she had been aching to see. Unable to keep herself from laughing, or crying, she did both. Need fading into terror, he grabbed her and smoothed her tears away furiously, kissing her lightly until it was just laughter on her lips. "No, no, no. Don't cry. Anything but that, I can't bear to see you cry."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"

"You have nothing to be sorry about!" he cut off vehemently, reaching down to kiss her again from where she sat. His lips were gentle this time, no longer urgent, and he pressed them to her forehead as well as her lips. "I love you."

Freezing, she looked up at him slowly. "What?"

"You heard me. I've been trying to tell you for so long."

She stood quickly, moving away from him and shaking her head. "Don't say that. Don't ruin this, please."

Hands grasping her arms like a vice, he pulled her toward him. "Would you listen to me! This isn't like before. This isn't just another fling, I swear it. We've been so close for so long, I wish I'd thought sooner about what you are to me. I can't stand to be here, to see you, to know how much I love you and not have you know it!"

"You're just saying that. Please, you don't have to. You know you don't."

Shaking her, he growled at her, "Stop telling me what I'm saying! I'm trying to explain it to you and you won't let me! I've been telling myself that I'm in love with the idea of you, or that I'm just trying to be closer to you, to put off telling you. I can't put it off anymore. I'm more in love with you than I thought possible. I didn't think I was capable of loving, not like James and Lily and Alice. I didn't think I deserved it, or you. Bloody hell, I still don't think I deserve you. That's beside the point. I just crashed into the idea of love, and it's entirely because of you. You are the one thing in my life right now, believe me. Anything, anything I could do to prove to you that I'm not just talking."

"You're scaring me."

"Good!" looking at the hesitancy in her eyes, he softened and wrapped his arms around her. Lips on her hair, he continued roughly, "I picked the worst timing, I know. But you have become the most important thing in my life and I will never let you go. Whether you die tomorrow or in ninety years, I want to be with you every day of my life. Marry me. Let me show you every day how much a part of me you are. You're everything, let me be with you."

Looking at him and trembling, she shook her head. "I won't be around that long, you know that. Don't throw your chances away. I want you to be happy above all else."

"I don't want happy; I want you!"

Freezing as she looked up into his eyes, she smiled sadly. "I wish more than anything I could give that to you."

There were tears in his eyes as he cupped her face in his hands and begged, "Please, please, please. Tell me you love me. Let me know it's not one-sided. I will die a happy man, even if it takes until I'm a hundred, if I know that you love me."

"I do. I love you. So much, it hurts."

"It rips at you from the inside until you don't know how you can still feel anything at all. And then I see you and I remember why I feel so much, because I love you. Merlin, I love you so much. I – Merlin, Mira, I love you."

Panicking at the sight of his tears, she reached up and stroked his cheeks fervently, voice shaky as she choked out, "No, Sirius, don't! Don't! I love you. I love you so much. I can't stand to see you like this. Don't, please. Sirius, love, don't. Whatever you want, just promise me you'll never look like this."

"I need you."

"We live together."

"As roommates. I don't want to know you're free. I want to know your mine. I want to know that I'm loved by the most wonderful woman in the world. Marry me, please. I need it, so badly."

She nodded, choking out, "When?"

"Tomorrow? Next week? Now? Now. Let's get married now."

"How would you explain that to James and Remus and Peter?"

Pulling her down beside him, he looked at her seriously. "Do you want them to know about us? No, you don't. You always hated favouritism and this'll be like that for you."

"James has been telling me you and I should get married so that I can get better treatment from St. Mungo's."

She smiled here, fond thoughts extended toward her beloved's best friend. Eyes widening, he grasped her hands, "That's it! Mira, you're a bloody genius! You had another fit, we don't even need to make excuses. I was afraid of you getting worse too quickly for anything to be done about it, that's why we didn't wait. We got married right away, just in case. And just for the technicalities that being a Black will give you in St. Mungo's, of course."

"Do really want the word 'married' enough to lie to James?"

Moved by her doubt, he leaned forward and kissed her gently, "You'll understand tonight, Mira. I love you more than anything in the world. I would do anything for even the little bit that I could be closer to you."

"I don't have a white dress."

"The one you're wearing for Lily and James's wedding. We can just charm it white. You look like an angel, even better, like a goddess, in it."

She smiled and looked at him. "You really do love me. I didn't think it was possible."

Groaning, he drew her into his arms and just held her, eyes falling shut as he felt her steady breath and smelled her scent. "Merlin, how could I not?"

– 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 –

She smiled, tears of joy filling her eyes at the sound of his laughter. He hadn't laughed with such sheer ecstasy in years, and the fact that she was the cause filled her with unspeakable joy. Laughing as she wrapped her arms around his neck, she let him kiss her again. He had been kissing her, those gentle kisses that had always melted her a little, for years, but now his kiss was different. Her heart all but stopped and she went lax, fingers curling into his shoulders as she poured herself into him. All those stories about the Casanova the man was proved true, she mused, but she knew that this was different. No woman would ever step away from a man who kissed her like this, like she was everything and that everything he was, was a part of her.

Gasping, she looked at the smouldering passion and heart wrenching love in his eyes. She had always loved his eyes, those dark pits that burned through you and revealed the deepest and darkest secrets of both parties. He was not even bothering to disguise his blatant adoration as he stroked her cheeks, patting her gently. "Are you okay? Is everything okay?"

"I didn't think you loved me like this. It's unnerving."

"Terrifying, I know. But you love me this much, it's in your touch. Will you let me –? I've been wanting to for so long."

"I married you, didn't I?"

He smiled, though he was preoccupied with the present more than even the very recent past. "Is it your first time?" He didn't know what to expect, but he felt a wave of surprise as she nodded. Stroking her cheek, he asked softly, "You and Remus didn't –?"

He was like a little boy again, and she smiled as she reached up and kissed him. "Never. The time that would have allowed it ended too quickly for anything of this magnitude to have even begun. You are my first love, and my only."

Groaning, he kissed her gently, deepening the kiss slowly as he managed brokenly, "You don't know what you do to me."

Letting her eyes close, she purred. "Then show me."

Her name was on his lips, his name on hers, and he wanted nothing more than to stay so close to her, so serene, and so safe forever. Arms wrapping tightly around her, he felt her curl into him. So many times she had slept in his arms, but this time was different. It wasn't Mira Celaeno in his arms, it was his Mira, and he held her as though she would disappear if he let go. Perhaps it was good that it was cold, for she had no complaints of proximity or heat. In fact, as she burrowed into his arms and let her fingers curl into his shirt, her voice rippled through him. "I love you."

Overcome, he found himself unable to reply. Burying his face into her hair and letting tears of sheer exaltation fall, he managed hoarsely. "Mira."

Through the weeks and months that passed, their marriage seemed to be forgotten by their friends and he learned to hold with less desperation. Yet their nights were no less rich, their laughter no less joyful, their words no less profound, and their embrace was no less loving.

– 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 –

"Sirius," she gasped, her fingers curling into his shoulders as they arched into each other.

"Say it again," he managed breathlessly, lips on her neck as she fell backwards and moaned. "Say my name, Mira."

Her hips curved upward, grinding against him as his movements became faster, more desperate, and she met him with equal eagerness. Body tightening like an arrow, her voice carried a sharp ring, heavy with arousal as she pulsated beneath him, "Sirius!"
Eager to please her and eager to be pleased, Sirius rolled with her, ignoring the noises from the other room as he thrust, harder, faster, and deeper. Her legs had long since wrapped around his hips, their bodies closer together than ever before, and they moved with a motion furious and desperate. His eyes all but rolled into his head as her nails pierced his shoulders, her voice thick with need, "I want it. Now."

Her name on his lips, he moved like a madman to satisfy her, their sweat and skin mingling. Her hips arched forward beneath his weight, his hips forced downward despite her presence, they sought to disappear within each other. All but screaming, she kissed him fiercely. His mouth swallowing her cry, he thrust desperately as she collapsed beneath him. She lay, lifeless, as he finished and fell on top of her. Breathless, sweaty, and utterly sated, they stared at each other. Kissing her, pushing himself off her roughly, he smiled. "I love you."

Pulling the sheets around her shoulders, she kissed him in return. "I love you too."

"I'm getting some water. You want some?"

As he threw pants on she nodded, watching him leave the room. He froze, feeling his blood curdle as he saw Remus, standing and tapping his foot. "Moony. What're you doing here?"

Eyebrow quirking at the sight of Sirius walking around topless in late February, Remus shook his head. "Waiting for you. You said to stop by, remember? I heard Cela earlier. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Sirius said quickly, filling the two glasses. "She got mad at me because I stole her towel while she was in the shower. Let me go get her, she kicked me out cause she wanted to change. She should be done by now."

Remus raised an eyebrow, suspicious of something he couldn't place. Sirius darted back into the room, saying breathlessly, "Mira, finish getting dressed. Moony's been standing out there waiting."

Whirling around and forgetting that she was in her underwear, Mira Celaeno's eyes went wide. Sirius shook his head and she breathed a sigh of relief, sliding into her robes quickly and letting Sirius pull her into a deep kiss. Smiling, she stepped out and flung herself into Remus' arms. "Hey you! Sirius, where's the water I asked for?"

"Here darling," Sirius said, handing her the glass and accepting an idle kiss.

"You two act like an old married couple," Remus teased, laughing.

Thankful that Remus didn't know the truth to his tease, Celaeno wrapped her arms around his waist, "But you're still our best friend, Remus. Married old loons or not."

Remus laughed, kissing her lightly and letting Sirius take him into the other room. They had Order business to discuss. They were not gone long, but when they returned Remus kissed Cela again, hugging her tightly and clapping Sirius on the back as he left. The door shut and Sirius locked it, turning to Mira Celaeno with a fiery glint in his eyes. Grabbing her and kissing her fiercely, her robe was on the floor in seconds. Legs around his waist as she found herself between him and the wall, she gasped as he ravaged her neck, "Sirius. Shouldn't we get out of the kitchen?"

"I'm taking you here and now, dammit."

She started to laugh, her laughter dying as his fingers plunged inside her. She stiffened, gasping and letting her head fall back against the wall. Gasping, breathless and incoherent, she let him stroke her from the inside, his fingers dancing. Then she felt the floor, crying out as he plunged inside her. They were both desperate now, moving with a speed and ferocity that scared and excited them both. It was over sooner than either of them would have liked, though it lasted long enough to satisfy them both. Again sated, they looked at each other and began laughing. When had they become so reliant as to resort to laying naked on the kitchen floor? Wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a comfortable embrace, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and laughed. "We need to find a better hobby."

Nestling into his arms, she smiled. "But I enjoy this one."

"You little fiend."

Laughing, she stretched and looked at where their clothes scattered the kitchen floor. Leaning forward to retrieve their clothes, she sighed. "We should at least be able to wait until the bedroom. We have two to choose from, after all."

Sirius laughed, kissing her fondly and letting her stand. He loved this woman, more than anything. As she slid her clothes back on and tossed him his clothes he stood, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. Kissing her neck, he murmured gently, "I love you. You know that, right?"

"You're very careful about reminding me. You never give me time to forget."

"Good. I never want you to."

She smiled, turning and kissing him tenderly. Stroking his face, she teased, "We need to be more careful. Remus could have found out easily today. And you're walking around naked. Go put clothes on darling."

Dancing around her and sticking his tongue out, Sirius laughed. "I like walking around naked!"

Rolling her eyes, she shooed him away and sat, leaning back against the chair and smiling as he emerged, fully clothed. Sitting across from her, he looked at her carefully, "That was close."

"I know. When you came in and said he'd been waiting – I haven't been that terrified in years."

Face clouding, Sirius reached out and squeezed her arms gently. "Mira. I'm willing to go through hell and back for this. But if it's bothering you, we'll end it. Go back to the way it was before. It'll make things easier for you, especially now."

She shot up, face going white as her lips tightened. "What are you implying, Sirius Black? My bond to you was your request, not mine."

Shocked by her defensiveness, Sirius stuttered, "I'm not saying that's what I want! Just that I'll deal with it if it's what you want."

"Is it really that easy for you? It's been over a year! If you wanted me out of your bed all you had to do was say so Black!"

She had not referred to him by his last name in years, and it stung. Getting past her use of his surname, he jumped to his feet. "Now listen here! How does taking you twice in the past two hours in the middle of the afternoon say I want you out of my bed?!" Withering gaze settling on him, he winced. She had been used before; this could easily be a similar scenario. Reaching out to grasp her, he felt a stab as she pulled away from him, "That wasn't how I mean to say that. Mira, let me explain –"

"You've done enough talking!" she stepped back, wand out as her hand shook. "How long has it been? Or has this whole thing been a joke to you? Or did you really have some good intentions at the beginning? Did you think I would die before you tired of me? What a disappointment to you it must be that I'm still here!"

His breath whooshed out and he felt his vision blur. How could she think that? Shaking his head desperately, reaching out for her, he winced as she leapt away from him. "Don't touch me," she hissed, venom in her voice as she recoiled as though he were disgusting. Then he saw the tears in her eyes and his heart broke. Stepping toward her, she screamed in anguish, "I said don't touch me! Stay the bloody hell away!"

She apparated away, and he stood in shock. He stood, frozen, until he heard James' voice. Diving for his two-way mirror, he asked hurriedly, "Is Mira there?"

James' eyebrows raised. Sirius looked like he was going through hell. "You might not want to come over. What happened? She's –"

"I know," Sirius said shortly. "Did she and Lily go into the other room?" James nodded and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm coming."

With a pop he appeared at James' side. Looking at his best friend carefully, he asked slowly, "What happened? Is it another lover's spat?"

Knowing that James had no idea about his and Mira's relationship, he rolled his eyes at James' attempt at a joke. This was nothing to joke about. Turning, desperation on his face, his eyes bored into James, "Was she upset? Or was she mad?"

"Both? She looked like she was fuming to me, but Lily apparently thought she was distraught. You look like hell, mate."

"She's going to kill me," Sirius muttered darkly, jumping as Lily entered the room. "Shit."

Green eyes blazing, she grabbed Sirius by the shirt and looked up at her husband with a sweet smile, "Excuse us James, I'm going to go castrate your best friend. Come in, and I'll castrate you as well."

Eyes going wide, James held up his hands and allowed Lily to drag Sirius off. Any other time Sirius would have joked about James' abandonment, but now he was waiting for Lily to tell him something about Mira. "What the bloody hell did you to her?"

"I didn't do anything! Dammit, I just said it the wrong way."

"My best friend is in the other room in hysterics because of something you did. Don't give me 'nothing'. This isn't one of your stupid little spats either, because she has never come running to me in tears because of anything you've done before. I thought you'd grown up. I'd hoped, when you somehow managed to convince her to marry you, that you'd treat her well. That maybe she could love you, and be loved, and that it wouldn't have been for convenience in the end!"

"I do," Sirius choked. "She doesn't believe me. I don't know how to make her believe me either."

Lily froze, backing away and staring at Sirius. "What?"

"She doesn't want James and Remus to know. We had a close call and she was upset. I said we could not sleep together, just to keep up the appearance that we're just roommates. Somehow that means I don't love her."

"Did you make it very clear it was sex you were talking about?"

"I said things should go back to normal. Then I messed it up when she asked me if I just wanted her out of bed."

Groaning, Lily looked at him as though he was an imbecile. "Sirius! Going back to normal for her isn't no sex. It's back to over a year ago. That's still normal for her, even if it isn't to you anymore! You say that and she thinks that you're done with her!"

Cursing loudly, Sirius broke past Lily into the room where Mira Celaeno sat, tears streaming over her cheeks as she paced and muttered incoherently. She saw him and her eyes went wide. Looking away, body stiffening, she ignored him. "WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME?" he roared. She winced, fear in her features as she turned toward him slowly. "Dammit!" he cried, crossing the room to her in two strides and gathering her into his arms. "I love you."

Tearing away from him, tears streaming over her cheeks, she yelled with a ferocity that terrified him, "STOP IT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE BLACK! I'M DONE! I'M NOT A FOOL!"

Grabbing her arm and whirled her to face him, he growled dangerously, "You're a bloody idiot, that's what you are. When I say let's go back to normal, I don't mean over a year ago normal. I mean us, with the occasional sex at night when nobody could walk in! I mean what we've had for the past year. I love you. That isn't going to change. Do you not understand that?"

"No," she managed, tears still staining her cheeks.

Shaking her, he grated harshly, "Have I ever done anything to make you think I don't love you? Have I changed at all to deserve your doubt?"

"No, and that's why I'm doubtful!" Mira Celaeno cried. "You haven't treated me any differently since seventh year! The only difference is that we share last names now and I sleep with you! Why should I believe that you love me so much if nothing's changed between us?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I've loved you since then?"

"Don't play with me, Sirius. Or I'll leave. I can't have you play with me."

"I'm not playing. I'm serious, and I'm Sirius." Her lips still quirked at the pun, and he smiled to see her momentary amusement. "I am in love with you. I don't love you like a sister, I'm not in lust with you. I would be happy spending every day of my life just holding you. I sure as hell wouldn't be okay with that if you were like a sister to me, or if I just wanted your body. I would slit my own throat before letting you walk away from me, as the woman I love. And today should leave you with no doubt that I want you too. How do you expect me to show you what you are to me when you don't listen?"

Burying her face in her hands, she muttered, "I don't know how to. I love you, so much. I'm afraid it'll end. I don't want it to."

"It won't," Sirius said. "Will you stop loving me? Answer me, honestly."

"I will love you until after time itself crumbles into ashes."

Overwhelmed by her adoration, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead. "And when that day comes I will love you as much as I do now, as much as I did the day I begged you to marry me. Between you, the Marauders, and Lily and Alice, you and James are the most important things in my life. If I live after you die, it will be for your sake. Every piece of my being is in love with you."

"I want to be with you. That's all."

"That's easy. We might get caught though."

"I don't care anymore. As long as you don't leave me."

Sirius smiled, oblivious to the fact that Lily had been watching in the doorway with eyes misted by romance. Touching Mira's cheek gently, he cupped her neck and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply. Arms wrapping around her, his eyes closed in her hair and his voice was throaty and overwhelmed with emotion, "Never. You're mine. I'm never letting you go. Ever."

Sliding away, Lily looked at her husband, who was both confused and amused. Smiling at the look on James's face, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. Feeling his moan, she smiled, deepening the kiss and accepting his light kiss when she broke away. "What was that?"

"I love you James."

"I love you too, Lily-flower."

Knowing she would never tire of hearing those words, she smiled. "Sirius and Cela are better now."

"What in the name of Merlin were they on about?"

"Big misunderstanding, really. Sirius implied something that was just wrong. She saw it the wrong way and he said it the wrong way and neither of them knew how to deal with it. I think he had to feel like he was losing her to fix it. There's no need to fix it if it doesn't cause a problem, right?"

"Like my head?"

Laughing, Lily ran her fingers through his messy hair, "We took care of that one the summer before seventh year, remember? But yes. Like your big head."

"You liked my big head, remember?"

With a soft laugh, Lily shook her head. "No, James, I just let you think that. Now hush, I hear Sirius."

Sirius stepped in, his face flushed where it had been pale only moments earlier, his eyes darkened by deep agony, and his stance rigid and strained. Leaving, letting the door swing back and forth as James and Lily watched, he grabbed Mira Celaeno roughly by the arm. "Here, drink. And stop being a fool. I didn't mean it like that and I won't have you go anywhere."

"I'll only go if I have to."

Shaking her, Sirius glared at the woman he had lived with for years. "How dense can you be Mira? You're my best friend! After James, of course, but he's more my brother than a friend. That's beside the point! I don't care if you're closer to Remus than you'll ever be to me; I won't have you leave! I refuse to let you go!"

Face pale and hurt still in her eyes, she asked softly, "Even if I want to go?"

The hurt that crossed Sirius' features was so palpable that Lily felt her heart go out to the man. Voice hoarse and body slackening in disbelieving shock, he managed, "Do you want to go?"

Shocked by the pain in his face, Mira Celaeno gasped. Flinging her arms around him, kissing him, and burying herself in his arms, she cried, "Sirius, don't! No, I don't want to go. I thought you wanted me gone. I could have sworn you –"

"Don't ever think that," Sirius growled dangerously, murder lurking in his eyes. "You go nowhere. Understand that well now. I won't have you go anywhere."

She inhaled sharply at the sight of his face, at the danger in his eyes. Noticing her reaction instantly, he softened and kissed her forehead. "Please, don't leave. Let me prove to you how much I want you stay. I'm not perfect, but I'll try. For you, I'll try."

"I don't want you to be perfect. I want you to be Sirius Black. The man –"

Her voice choked, eyes misting as she shook her head in his chest. "I won't go. Just don't ever scare me like that again. I thought I was going to die, right there. I lose you and I lose everything."

"Remus would take care of you."

"I know. But it wouldn't be you. I married you, didn't I?"

The agony in his features melting into contentment, Sirius smiled. "And I never let him forget it."

"You're awful, Sirius. He's my best friend, you be nice to him."

"What about Lily?"

"She's a girl, and it's different. She's the best of the best. You be nice to her too, because if not James would kill you too."

This time his smile reached his eyes and he ruffled her hair, "That's the girl I love. I think we scared James and Lily. Let's go see them, and then we can go back home."

She nodded, running into the kitchen and flinging her arms around James' neck. "I love you, James. You're my favourite male Potter."

"I know – wait! I'm the only male Potter!" Lily laughed and kissed her husband's cheek as Sirius snorted. Hugging Cela in return, holding her against him, James looked at his best friend. "Sorted things out, have you mate? Next time try to do it without roping my wife into it, could you? I'd had a nice, quiet dinner planned."

"A quiet dinner with you James? Lily knows not to get her hopes up that high." Looking down at the woman on his neck in shock, James lifted her up and dropped her. Smiling, she reached up and kissed him lightly, hugging Lily fiercely as she turned to Sirius, "We've got to get going too. Have fun with your quiet dinner. I'm sure you'll make up for the lack of talking elsewhere."

As Lily and Sirius burst into surprised laughter and James stared in appreciative shock, Mira Celaeno disapparated. Winking, Sirius grinned. "You heard her. We're out."

Wrapping his arms around her as he appeared with a pop, Sirius kissed her neck. "I think we've got James fooled. But not Lily."

"She isn't the brightest witch of our age for no reason. She won't tell James. Hint at it, maybe, but I'm surprised he hasn't figured it out already, really."

"Because he's expecting a change in behaviour. Which isn't going to happen. I've loved you all along, I just didn't catch on until recently."

"I love you Sirius Black."

"Good," he said softly, his hands brushing her waist as he drew her close for a deep, tender kiss. "Because I am hopelessly, desperately, and endlessly in love with you."

She spoke through the kiss, fracturing it into many smaller kisses of no less significance, "I never took you for such a romantic."

"I never thought I'd be lucky enough to prove to you how much of one I can be." He looked at her carefully, at the doubt still lingering in her eyes. Kissing her forehead, he murmured softly, "Merlin, I'm a fool. I've been acting worse than I was at Hogwarts. Will you let me show you how much I love you? It's been so long since I've touched you the way you deserve."

"Don't underestimate the man I love," she warned softly. "Yes, you can."

As he lay with her in his arms that night, he wondered at how pain and pleasure could be so similar, so heartbreaking, and so powerful. Suddenly terrified at the thought of losing her, he clutched her to him desperately, as though she would slip away if he didn't. The last time he had held her with this sort of passionate desperation had been the night they had gotten married, and she felt it. Eyes fluttering open, she smiled at him and slurred, "What is it, Sirius?"

"I never want to lose you. I love you too much."

"You'll never lose me. Just misplace me for a while. But I'll always be here when you find me. Goodnight, love."

Tears stinging his eyes, he kissed her hair and revelled in the feel of her body as she nestled deeper into his arms. Feeling a tidal wave of emotion crash into him so he felt his entire body shatter into a million pieces, he managed hoarsely, "I love you Mira. So much. I love you."