Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Animorphs. I heap all of the glory to K.A. Applegate.

Sorry for the delay. Weekends are my busiest. Weird, huh?

This is the way my brain worked: I was feeling thoughtful today. Feeling thoughtful leads to thinking deep thoughts. Deep thoughts lead to...well, this chapter.

Anyways.

Remember, these are my thoughts on the Yeerks. They are all probably bizarre and weird and make absolutely no sense at all, so feel free to yell at me in your review, because they really don't make any sense, now that I read this over. I wrote in a fit of creative genius that turned out to be...not so genius-y.

So have fun yellin-er, reading.

Chapter Five

It was the third day.

The third day I was being watched. I was bored. It was only yesterday, when I first received my morphing power. I couldn't use it though. I hadn't acquired anyone's DNA yet.

I was sitting on the ground, thinking. There wasn't anything else to do.

Of course, I much preferred this to sitting in Visser Three's Blade ship, scared to death, and annoyed at my Yeerk's comments. I mean, you can only go on for so long before a Yeerk's comments get boring.There wasn't any humiliating memories for my Yeerks to sift through. There were no dreams for the future. There was nothing that the Yeerk could use against me. So, when they all finally admitted that I couldn't be subdued that way, they resorted to taunts.

Yawn. Been there, done that. I mean, most every comment the Yeerks had ever thought of had been thrown at me before. Nothing new, really. Once in a while, there would be the actual creative Yeerk, and that it was slightly entertaining to listen to the new stuff, then laugh at him. You'd think they would spend more of their time thinking of smart comments.

Now, I was a far different kind of host. No Yeerk that was in my head was ever bored. No, I kept those Yeerks on their toes. Every second you slack off, is a second where I can seize control. Every moment when you stop messing around with my brain and give up on trying to humiliate me, I'm there, taunting you, laughing at your incompetence, messing up your mind. Every moment you think, oh she's asleep, guess what? I'm not. I'm there, waiting around the corner of my mind, ready to spring up, and get the chance to say "Boo!"

That was my life. It was all about finding ways to mess up the Yeerks. I was probably a major factor in why all the Yeerks I went through became either Vissers or went absolutely crazy. Every Yeerk contains a part of their hosts even after it leaves the host body. And I'll admit it: I was going crazy during my stay.

But I also understood Yeerk hierarchy and how to get to the top. I understood how to control troops and mess around with people's minds. I understood war. After me, they could control any host with a flick of their mind. After me, they had no problem being in control of their armies and fellow Yeerks.

My life was about control. Not physically, but mentally. I ruled the mind games. I knew all of the little tricks to twist around someone's words, to negotiate, and make someone feel and think a certain way. After all, how could I not know, when I had the greatest masters of the mind games to learn from: the Yeerks themselves?

But I ignored the inevitable. I ignored that I was losing control. I was slowly fading out. No surprise there. If you're treated as a host body all your life, then you become just that and only that: a host body. And after a while, the host's mind can take all it can take. Maybe the Hork-Bajir were better suited at being Controllers. Maybe the Taxxons could handle it. But the humans couldn't.

I would've lost myself completely, if it weren't for Darwin. I wanted to kill myself, because what is the point in life anymore, when you're just someone's slave, someone's puppet? It might've been the Yeerk controlling me, but it was my voice that called out for the murder of thousands, my eyes that was the last thing someone would see before they died, my face that everyone hated and respected. Thousands of times I berated myself for not seizing control when it was my body. Thousands of times I froze my heart against the hateful words that hit hard. Thousands of times I wanted to just give up.

But he was my voice of reason. He understood what I was going through, because he was going through it himself. And he sacrificed what little of his own courage he had to me. He could see I was dying. He could see I was giving up. But he didn't let me give up.

We didn't even know we were family when he first started helping me. I was just this loony stranger who he hardly knew. I was bitter and cold towards him. I hated him. I hated everyone. I wanted to cry, but I didn't know how to. I wanted to feel, but I didn't know how to. I wanted to melt my cold heart, but I just couldn't bear to. He was the one who helped me cope. He taught me what a family was.

Darwin's a lot nicer than me. If it had been me, I wouldn't have given him a single thought.

(Thinking deep thoughts?) I heard Cassie's voice. I had pinpointed her as the most caring in the group. Caring was the border line of weak and brave. It shared some traits with understanding, and understanding was the first step to cunning. But I couldn't tell with Cassie, exactly which group she belonged to. She didn't talk enough. Not like the boy Marco, who already was suspicious to a point of near paranoia, but had the smarts not to go crazy. But also not like the girl Rachel, who spoke her mind and was stood her ground. She was brave and strong to a point of foolishness and never stopped to think deeply about things. Tobias was the wary and thoughtful one, and Ax- well, he acted like any Andalite. Jake was the one I watched out for. He was strong, but not like Rachel's strength. He was cunning and suspicious, but not like Marco's. He had the mind of a general, a match for even my mind tricks.

So far, Jake was the biggest threat. But I could handle him.

"Yes." I said. "Just about my life before I escaped."

Cassie flitted down from the tree's limbs. She was that gray bird. I was still leery of those tree's but it appeared they were not exactly alive. I still didn't feel very comfortable near them.

(I honestly feel as if you're too young for this.) She admitted. (You're nine. But whenever I look in your eyes...I feel like you're older than that. You have Jake's eyes.)

I was only half-listening, still watching the tree, but started when I heard the last phrase. "What?"

(Jake's eyes. Not physically. But Jake...he's gone through a lot. His brother, Tom...he's one of them. Jake's had to make a lot of tough decisions in a short amount of time. We didn't do him any favors when we made him leader.)

"Then why did you?" I asked. I was half-curious, half-wanting-to-find-out-more.

(Jake's the kind of person who just acts like a leader. He's the only one who has the guts to make the right choice, no matter how hard it is. The only thing that he still can't decide is what he'll do if his brother comes after him.) Cassie sighed. (He acts like he knows what to do when that happens, but I know he doesn't.)

I felt a keen pain at Cassie's words, and a new bond with Jake. "My brother..." I murmured. "He was taken, too. His name was Darwin. And there was no other like him."

(Is he still...) I heard Cassie's hesitation.

"A Controller?" I supplied. "Yes, he still is." I honestly couldn't say anymore. I felt like I would choke if I did.

There was silence for a moment, where I composed myself. Then Cassie asked, (How long have you been a Controller?)

"Nine years-" I stopped. I swore inwardly, and hoped that Cassie wouldn't see my mistake.

No chance of that. She followed straight up with, (Then you've been a Controller for your entire life?)

"Not my entire life." I felt like kicking myself. Why had I let down my guard? Why had I permitted her to find out so much about me?

Would she notice if I lied?

Yes, she would. If she could observe her fellow team members so exactly, and tell me about her team without giving away anything major, if she could see through me and get so much information, and get me to let down my guard, then noticing my lies would be a cinch for her.

All I really had to do was not give her the whole truth. I had to give as little as possible, but no lies.

(That would explain your cultivated speech. You sound like Ax when you talk.) She said thoughtfully.

"That's what happens when you listen to cultivated speech in your head for nine years." I smiled weakly. If we could only stick to this subject, then I might be clear-

No chance of that again. (Is it normal for Yeerks to take such young hosts?)

"It is not unheard of." I avoided the question.

(I see. I know it's not any of my buisness, but why were you taken?)

I sighed. "It was because of my name." I said flatly.

(Madi's not a bad name.) She sounded puzzled.

"It isn't." Now I knew this game. I relaxed a bit.

(Then-) Suddenly, Marco came crashing through the bushes. He was followed by Rachel and Tobias. I thanked my lucky stars.

"It wasn't my fault." He was protesting.

"He fell into the bushes." Rachel explained. Cassie flew to the ground and demorphed.

(How?) She asked.

"Ok, so this girl was six feet tall, ok?" Marco seemed to enjoy the attention. "And I was just walking by, and I didn't even do anything. She just swung my backpack into the bushes, just like that. I didn't do anything!"

Rachel looked at him. "She was six feet tall, huh?"

"Yeah! And then she knocks me into the bushes. She pushed me in headfirst! That's why I have berries in my pocket, and twigs in my hair. And it took me a while to get my hair just perfect, too." He concluded.

Tobias laughed. (Marco, she was shorter than you.)

"So?" Marco retorted. "Height has nothing to do with it!"

(You're right.) Tobias admitted. (But the fact that you asked her out does have something to do with it.)

"Perfectly normal thing to do."

"If it had been me, I would've stuffed your head in your lunch." Rachel said.

(And actually, I saw him trip and fall into the bushes.) Tobias continued. He glared at Marco. (Your shoelaces are untied.)

"You can't make me look. My shoelaces are perfectly fine." Marco countered.

We all stared at Marco's untied shoelaces. (Marco, your shoelaces are untied.)

Marco looked down and quickly tied the laces in a messy knot. "I knew that!"

"Sure you did." Rachel managed to say with a straight face.

Jake walked in with Ax. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing. You missed nothing." Marco said, cutting off both Rachel and Tobias.

Ax stared at Marco's head. (Marco? Is there a reason why you have small brown branches in your hair?)

"They're called twigs, Ax." Marco grabbed several and dropped them on the ground.

(I know. I have seen many different birds build their homes with them. Are you cultivating a home for Tobias?)

Marco swore loudly.

"Ok," Jake said loudly. "Can we do what we're supposed to do here?"

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked.

Jake looked at me. "It's been three days." He said.

"You're a full-fledged member of the Animorphs." Rachel grinned.

"Congrats." Marco managed to grunt.

"You're going to get your first morph." Jake told me. "Cassie has a lot of birds in her barn."

Cassie nodded. "We have a couple of merlins, an eagle, some goshawks, and a young red-tail." Jake, Cassie and me started walking away, as Marco said. "Hey Rachel, there's a dance on Saturday…"

There was a muffled thump, then a "Hey! Lemme outta here!"

Rachel appeared. Cassie sighed. "Ok, what did you do?"

"I shoved him into the bushes."

Cassie gave her a long look. "What really happened?"

Rachel sighed. "Ok, I shoved him; he glared at me, and tried to shove me. I stepped back and he tripped over his untied shoelaces and flew into the bushes." She saw me staring, and winked. "You can't blame a girl for trying."

Jake started back. "Where are you going, Jake?" Rachel called.

"To get Marco out."

(Marco's out of the bushes already, Jake.) Tobias was flying above us. He must've had amazing eyesight to hear and see us.

"But who's gonna stop him from tripping over and falling back in?"

"Well, Ax is with Marco." Cassie reminded him.

Jake groaned. "All the more reason to get over there."

(Yeah, Jake's right. I mean...ooh. Ouch! That was a hard fall.) Tobias commented.

Rachel and Cassie shook their head. "Boys." They laughed at the same time.

It still amazed me how Cassie managed to make me let down my guard. She had such a strange technique. She sounded as if she actually cared about me, as if she actually was curious about my life. But it was all a trick, wasn't it? It was all to startle me into giving information.

I thought again about the Yeerks. They thought that they could take down the humans. And at the time, I had thought the same, and despaired. But now, I saw different.

They call the humans Class Five, the perfect hosts, and they were. But only to a certain extent. We had all underestimated the humans. A human's body is probably the weakest creature on Earth. But they managed to rule Earth above all other creatures because of the strength of their minds. I almost thought of them as Yeerks. Weak bodies, strong minds. Humans were a rival, a match for the Yeerks. And humans were adaptable. Did the Yeerks seriously think that once humans were taken over, they would give up? Never. Marco had showed me that today. Fall down again, and again, yet he would never give up.

And did the Yeerks truly believe that humans would not adapt to this new life? I had spent only nine years with the Yeerks, and I knew how to mess them up. I almost wanted to see how long they would last against Cassie's methods. The Yeerks simply wouldn't manage against the humans.

A Hork-Bajir's mind is simple. A Taxxon's mind is simple. A Yeerk's mind is also simple. But a human's? Cassie had told me about how Jake's mind worked. All his feelings were mixed up with the cold hard calculations. How much more complex could a mind get?

And a complex mind is always the downfall of slavery.

The battle for Earth would be a turning point. No species had more of a chance against the Yeerks than the humans. No species was better suited for the Yeerks than the humans. One or the other would win. Not both. Only one or the other.

I thought about all of this as I walked with my friends, the strongest resistance on Earth. I absentmindedly traced a tree's bark and reveled in its complexity.

Earth was just as complex as the humans. The Yeerks would destroy such complexity.

If Earth didn't destroy the Yeerks first.

Dun-dun-dun!!

Stupid wasn't it? My creative genius bulb just burned out.

I have a feeling this contradicts a lot of other fan fictions, so now I'm nervous.

And yeah, I know I used the word cultivate more than twice in here. I like the word cultivate. cuuuulteeevaayte.

Alright, start yelling. I'm ready for the worst.

If I don't log in for a couple days, I'm probably crying over your review- no I'm kidding.

I really do like reading about your thoughts, no matter what they're about.

So review/ criticize/ flame, do what you do best.