Disclaimer: It's obvious. The boys are not mine, at least not in this universe.
Co-author: My beloved bia1007
Beta: PsiChic had done an amazing job!

Chapter 11

Sam took a sip from his cup and savored the warmth of tea streaming down his throat. Looking up, he intently studied Dean's limp figure, now lying on the bed, tucked in as many blankets as possible. The shivers had lessened, thanks to Kyle's green tea that Bobby forced down Dean's throat a little while ago. Dean was still too bluish for Sam's liking but at least he wasn't pale as death anymore.

But then it was too early to tell. Both Jack and Bobby had reminded him that the poison had severely flooded Dean's system and Dean was too weak to fight back. Still, both of the older hunters vowed to him that they'd find a cure no matter what it takes. Again Sam was grateful to not be alone in this.

Nothing sucked like Winchesters' luck, but Sam had to admit good fortune was on their side now – meeting the Callahans was a blessing and Sam couldn't be thankful enough. He would have never been able to endure this alone – seeing Dean fighting death and all. Sam might have lost his big brother for the second time and himself right with him!

Studying Dean's silent form, Sam saw that his big brother had lost a few pounds after his return from hell. If it was not for his bossy personality, people might have misinterpreted Dean being Sam's little brother and not the other way around. He was smaller than Sam, no doubt. But still Dean was in every respect a protective big brother, sometimes overdoing it – and most of the time the traits were too obvious, people wouldn't miss them.

Sam reached out and caressed Dean's fever damp hair. He sighed deeply – remembering how close he'd come to lose his big brother tonight more than once; when the pain struck right after he was resuscitated in the latest scary episode. As if Sam's prayers and pleas were finally answered, Dean's spasms eased. Maybe God was looking out for them after all.

……………………………….

"Oh God!" Sam cried, touching everyones' heart in the cabin. "Please don't abandon us…" his sorrow and pain were obvious in that whisper.

"I ask you for once…please have mercy on us!" He had never stopped believing even when God failed him and sent Dean to hell. Sam never stopped praying though he had lost so many in his life. His faith never faded albeit God's soldiers, the angels, were not what he expected them to be – they weren't angelic after all. Now, just for once he wished God would prove to him that He was looking out for them – that they were really His children. "Have mercy on us…God…"

Sam looked at Dean and cringed seeing his brother buckle violently as the spasms threatened to wreck his nerves. He was well aware that another series of these violent attacks would severely damage Dean's system and eliminate any hope for his survival. Even if Dean survived, he'd suffer from brain damage and damn it, Sam would lose his big brother forever then.

"God!!!" Sam wailed as Dean cried in agony. He tightened his embrace on Dean and laid his face on his big brother's chest, weeping. Sam chanted Dean's name and his pleas to God, his cheeks wet from tears that wouldn't stop.

Losing track of (the) time, Sam was unaware of how long he'd been crying and praying but suddenly Dean stopped arching and screaming in pain. He felt Dean's body going limp and his muscles relaxing. Dean's heartbeat had slowed down to a normal rate. Sam lifted his face and studied Dean's features.

Dean appeared to be sleeping. There was calmness evident and no trace of pain on his face. Amazingly the pain and the spasms had ceased and Dean was resting peacefully. Soft snores rather than moans and groans were heard from Dean now.

Seeing Dean had finally got his rest, Sam smiled triumphantly. He quietly whispered into Dean's hair "Thank you God! Thank you…" as grateful tears streamed down his cheeks. God never really abandoned them after all.

…………………………….

"I'm so sorry Dean…for being such a jerk." Sam whispered.

'Are you nuts?'

"What?"

Sam's eyes went wide. He looked around, found no one and returned his gaze to Dean's face. Dean eyes were closed, there was no sign he had woken from his slumber. So, no way he would be able to reply to Sam's apology. But he was sure it was Dean's voice ringing in his ears just now – assaulting him with the ever familiar teasing.

'I'm the jerk remember? You're not.'

There it was again. "Dean?" Sam palmed Dean's forehead and bowed towards his big brother's face. No. No sign of Dean coming around.

'You're a bitch…Bitch.'

Sam smiled. He knew Dean would always find a way to protect him, even in his deepest oblivion. Now – Sam was unsure how Dean did it – Dean was protecting him from the sense of guilt threatening to drown him. Maybe it was a figment of his imagination – maybe because he missed Dean so badly, he was making it all up – but Sam was relieved; he was so relieved he felt lighter and healthier.

"Jerk." Sam tenderly replied as he rubbed Dean's brow with his thumb, trying to provide as much comfort and familiarity as possible to his brother. His effort was well worth it as Dean rewarded him with simple gestures – a slight tug of his lips and turning his head into Sam's direction – that made Sam's view hazy with unshed tears

"And you're calling me emo," Sam couldn't help but tease.

'Hey! Learned from the best.'

"Come on Dean, wake up…you're freaking me out."

"Gotta' scare you once in a while lil' bro."

"You're a jerk!"

"Heard that before."

Sam could hear Dean's sarcastic reply so clearly he almost laughed out loud. Deep inside, he knew they'd get through this. Dean would survive and they would be brothers again. He could hold on because Dean wouldn't ever give up – he was damn sure about that.

"Hey!"

The Winchesters' silent conversation was interrupted by a presence Sam had been unaware of, too engrossed with teasing Dean. So he practically jumped seeing Matt standing right beside him. It was Matt's strong hand on his arm keeping him on the chair.

"Hey Matt," Sam said, taking a deep breath.

Matt returned Sam's greeting with a slight smile before he settled down on the bed across Dean's. Sam shifted the chair so he would be facing Matt but at the same time not losing sight of his brother.

"How's Dean?" Matt asked as he fidgeted with the bedcover.

Sam shot Dean a quick glance and looked at Matt again. Matt was pretty much a youngster compared to the others in the cabin. The youngest Callahan really reminded him of himself when he got into hunting seriously after Stanford - come to think of it, he only took hunting seriously after Jess's death, after Dad's deal with the yellow-eyed demon and the latest occasion was after Dean went to hell. Then he was at the same age as Matt was now.

"He's fine for now," Sam sealed his assurance with the best smile he could manage.

Matt nodded, satisfied with Sam's reply which added to his own observation on Dean's condition. The oldest Winchester looked much better than a couple of hours ago. He was glad about that because he wouldn't have been able to recover from this loss himself.

When he witnessed Dean dying before his eyes he felt as something was ripped apart from him too. For an unknown reason he thought he would have lost someone so important. It was weird on how much he'd become attached to the brothers since they first met, though he never had the chance to really talk to any of the Winchesters. But he felt Sam's grief when Dean fight for his life, in terrible pain and shared Sam's horror and loneliness when he thought Dean was gone.

"That's good."

"Yeah," Sam couldn't agree more. He smiled as he caressed Dean's head lovingly. Then the room suddenly was too quiet and the silence felt eerie it sent a shudder down Sam's spine.

"How did it go with Jack and Bobby?" The older hunters were researching on the cure for the poison. With Bobby's knowledge and Jack's skills they should be successful.

"Still working," Matt didn't have the heart to tell Sam, Bobby's and Jack's two hours research so far had been fruitless. But the older men didn't give up. They were determined to save Dean; Matt was in awe.

Glancing at Matt, Sam sensed the youngest Callahan had something to say and he was having trouble starting the conversation.

"You okay?"

Concern laced Sam's tone, making it even harder for Matt to begin.

"Are you sick or something? I hope my fever is not the start of an epidemic," Sam tried mimicking the big brother Dean had always been. His brother always knew how to light a room with his charms, not to mention lightening one disturbed soul.

"Err…Sam," Matt began.

Sam waited patiently. He was not going anywhere, so time wasn't the issue here. He got all the time in the world.

"I'm sorry," Matt looked up to him through unkempt brown bangs – now Sam knew why Dean found his hair annoying – and decided he was more interested in studying the floor. Sam swore he saw guilt and anguish in those blue eyes. Dean was so much better at this, he sucked at being a big brother.

"Sorry about what?" Sam couldn't think of anything that Matt could be guilty of.

"I let down my guard and caused Dean's close call to death."

Hearing that answer made Sam's breath hitched; not of anger but of sympathy. Matt's guilt-ridden answer sounded so familiar to him. Talking to the youngest Callahan made Sam think he was talking to a mirror, and he knew better than to say anything until Matt had enough.

"I shouldn't have left him…should have stayed here," Matt wearily rested his head in his hands and sighed. "If he…" he stopped and sobbed once – unable to say the word. "I don't think I will ever forgive myself." He was telling the truth. If Dean would die after that drowning in the lake, he would never recover from the guilt. He would carry the blame on his shoulders as long as he lived.

That was his cue to say something. Sam smiled sympathetically and shook his head.

"It never could be your fault Matt," he said honestly. "Dean was born a stubborn ass…nobody can stop him when he has his mind fixed on something." He hoped the explanation would help though Sam knew nothing he said would really ease Matt's feeling of guilt. How could he blame Matt for Dean's temporary death if he'd done worse before? Sam had caused Dean's close call to death and injuries so many times before he'd lost count.

"But still…I'm sorry."

"Okay!" Sam shrugged. He never would be able to imitate Dean; his big brother would always find a way to wipe out the angst and replace it with anger. That was Dean's way of bringing life back into a broken man. Sam however would just have to do it in his own way, with tenderness. "You're forgiven."

Matt shot him a disbelievingly look. "That's it? That simple?"

"As a matter of fact…yeah!" Sam winked. "Now Matt, you think can handle Dean for a moment or two? I need to go, nature's call." He stood up from the chair and quickly went to the door without waiting for Matt to agree.

"Bb…but, wait!" Matt was bewildered. "What if…" Sam was gone. He turned around and looked at Dean. The Winchester showed no sign of waking up soon. But he'd been wrong before. Dean was unpredictable.

"What if I failed again?" he asked himself before he sagged down to the chair and got lost in his thoughts.

……………………………

Sam walked into the kitchen where he found Kyle cooking dinner.

"I didn't know you're a good cook?" Sam said sitting down. His sudden appearance made Kyle jump.

"When you have no one cooking for you…you'd learn to be good in no time." Kyle smiled as he tossed the macaroni and put them aside in a bowl. Studying Sam's features, Kyle was happy to see the fever had finally broken and Sam was on his way to recovery. Sam even looked a lot calmer than hours ago. "Hope macaroni and cheese's okay with you."

"I'm fine with anything as long as it's edible." The aroma of melted cheese made him drool. "Wish you were this good while we were in Stanford," he said.

Kyle snorted. Then he remembered something. "Who's looking after Dean?"

"Matt's with him, no worries." Sam explained as he snitched a few macaroni from Kyle's bowl and popped them into his mouth. He'd been picking up Dean's appetite lately, making him more muscular – much to Dean's disapproval.

When Sam glanced at Kyle, wary that the cook might let off some steam for his stealing. Sam found Kyle giving him a thankful look. Sam had let Matt take care of Dean for a reason. "He has a sensitive heart doesn't he?"

"Yeah? Tell that to yourself." Kyle smirked. "You guys are the most sensitive men I've ever met." He started laughing. "Perhaps in an alternate universe your name is Samantha and Matt's is Matilda."

"Har har! Very funny Kyle!"

Luckily Dean was not there to add to the mocking. Dean and Kyle would make the best tag team in Big Brothers versus Little Brothers Mocking competition. Fortunately Sam had Matt on his side. Maybe they could win against the ever-macho big brothers with their most powerful weapon ever – the puppy dog eyes as Dean called it. Then again, he wished Dean was there. He even missed Dean's sarcasm and bossy attitudes.

"He went to see you to apologize, didn't he?"

Nobody knew Matt better than Kyle. When Dean stopped breathing after they got him out of the lake, Matt was heartbroken Kyle could see it in his eyes. He was thankful when Sam didn't blame Matt for what happened to Dean and trusted him to look after Dean again.

"Yeah! About letting down the guard thing."

Sam went to the sink, filled a glass with water and drank greedily. The coolness of the fluid was bliss. "He's so different from you…he's all gentle while you're a lot rougher."

"There's always a yin and yang in life dude."

Sam huffed.

Yin and yang.

Black and white.

Dean and Sam.

Co-existing.

One without the other - unthinkable!

…………………………………

Matt was just about to put the newly wet washcloth on Dean's forehead when the oldest Winchester tossed his head from side to side and groaned uncomfortably. He licked his lips in an attempt to wet them and then he swallowed dryly. Even his saliva had dried.

Looking intently at the door, Matt thought that this would be the perfect moment for Sam to come in. Sam took a little too long for a quick trip to the bathroom. Then Matt's eyes fell on Dean again who was turning rigidly on the bed, seeking comfort. Dean was coming around and Sam's not here. What if Dean wanted Sam? What if Dean went frantic seeing no Sam in the room? The youngest Callahan began to get pretty anxious himself.

When Dean finally cracked his eyes open, Matt had practically turned into a statue. The green eyes were absorbing him like a sponge and he cringed with nervousness. This was their first meeting each other eye to eye. He didn't know what to expect.

"Water…" Dean's voice was raspy.

Matt scrambled to fill a glass with water from the pitcher on Dean's bedside table and helped Dean to sit up, He leaned Dean's back against his chest and gripped his shoulder, supporting him from lolling back to bed. Matt picked up the glass and held it to Dean's lips.

Then he saw the glass tremble in Dean's grasp. 'Damn!'.

Dean, sensing water on his dried lips, started to gulp it down greedily.

"Whoa! Easy there dude!" Matt took the glass away and flinched at the sight of Dean trying to get it back. Matt didn't want Dean to choke on the water. "Slowly now" he persuaded him as he put the rim of the glass back to Dean's lips. Matt couldn't help but smile sympathetically when Dean followed his order, as if fearing he's going to lose the treat if he misbehaved.

When Dean had finally stopped drinking, Matt took the glass away and asked "Want more?"

Dean shook his head and regretted the motion instantly as his head pounded with the movement. He scrunched his face and twitched his nose hard to chase the throbbing away.

"Okay," Matt lowered Dean back to the bed and returned the glass to the bedside table. He stood up and headed for the door, intending to holler for Sam.

"Sam?"

The inquiry stopped Matt from stepping away. He turned around and saw Dean looking at him with weary eyes, red brimmed and with dark circles smudged around the sockets. The pain lingered on his features, evident from how Dean squinted at the light and frowned. Matt took the one syllable question as Dean asking of Sam's whereabouts.

"Who are you?"

Matt gulped nervously. It was like Dean had just learnt to speak and found asking questions was the best way to enhance his skill. "Nature called," Matt answered the first question and hoped Dean wouldn't remember he'd even asked the second one.

"Wuss." Dean smirked and coughed once. His cough sounded dry and Matt took that as a good sign. At least his lungs were not drowned in his own phlegm. Matt smiled a little. Yeah! Dean was a big brother, much like his own - annoying big brothers who could be the biggest bullies in the world, but still the best ones. "And you?"

Dean remembered which made Matt want to tip toe away. "I'm Matt."

"Hi Matt." Dean tugged his lips into a welcoming smile. Shit! Since when smiling hurt so badly? "I'm not dead…guess you're not the bad guy." Dean recoiled little hearing the stammer in his voice.

"Yeah!" Matt smiled edgily. 'I almost caused your death dude, how's that for a change?'. Matt decided not to bring up the event at the lake. It wasn't a good time. If Dean were to punch him, he would run out of breath.

"Sam okay?"

Dean remembered the last time he was awake, Sam was coughing so badly he almost hacked out his lungs. The images after that were vague. He thought he saw Sam sobbing and then Sam crying out his name. Dean was not sure whether those were all his dreams or shattered pieces of his memories from his unconscious mind.

"He's nothing but kickin'." Matt assured so firmly. Dean's definitely the over protective big brother type.

Dean nodded, trusting Matt already though he couldn't really remember who the kid was. All he knew was he heard Matt's voice in his deepest sleep and he recognized Matt's touch very well – manhandling him when he was sleeping. Yet, there was something familiar in those blue eyes looking down at him. It was as if he'd seen them somewhere before - in his previous life perhaps?

"How are you doing?" Matt's turn to ask.

"M'fine." It was the patented reply of a Winchester.

"Uhuh?" Matt was well aware of that pattern. It was one of the overly protective big brothers' favorite replies to show strength and authority to the overly worried little brothers. "I bet the ringing in your ears and the pounding in your head don't hurt a bit."

Dean was rubbing his temple when Matt made that cynical remark. He brought his hand down instantly and said "Geez, what are you? Sam's long lost twin?"

"You could say we're made from the same mold." Matt heaved his shoulders nonchalantly.

"What mold? Annoying sissy little brothers?" Dean cleared his throat and snorted. Somehow he found it funny teasing Matt.

Matt rolled his eyes. Okay! Dean was so Kyle. He watched as Dean snickered at his own joke. Luckily Kyle was not here to join Dean or else Matt would have to run a tantrum to win the situation. He hated that. It would be his last resort to win over his brother and father when everything else had failed.

Suddenly, Dean moaned painfully. His inside was burning and his head pounded mercilessly. He hoped that what he had drank would stay inside and (wouldn't) not come out in violent heaves. Puking hurt too damn much when you had nothing inside you. Dean bit his lips and secretly prayed the pain would ease.

"Hey? You okay?" Matt reached for Dean's shoulder and rubbed soothing circles on his biceps. Being the big brother he was, Dean surely was holding back the pain to camouflage his weakness in the presence of a little brother – regardless of whose one.

Amazingly, the gestures alleviated Dean's pain a little and he thanked God for giving little brothers one unique characteristic. They were good healers. "Yeah," he answered.

Matt smiled with sympathy and regret. Dean was way far from recovery and he knew well enough that the oldest Winchester was toiling to stay awake and take part in the conversation. He maybe was dying but Dean was so strong he won't let death win without fighting. Matt couldn't help but admire Dean's iron will. That was why he looked up to Kyle in the first place. From the bottom of his heart, Matt made a promise to do anything to make sure Dean would survive this ordeal. He owed him a life after all.

"Dean?" Sam appeared at the door. His face shone with relief and gratitude. The hazel eyes were brimmed with grateful tears.

"Owh…don't give me that Kodak look." Dean cringed.

Sam scampered to Dean's bed and took a seat on the bedside. He took Dean's hand into his and squeezed it hard. "Thank God you're awake."

"Still need that hand ya' know," Dean didn't really mean it anyway. It felt so good to be held like that. It felt as if it had been so long since he last met Sam – like he had just came back from the land of the dead.

Sam loosened his grip. "Sorry…I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'm here, in the flesh." Dean continued "Stop crying already!"

"How're you doing bro?" Maybe the idea of tolerating Dean's sarcastic remarks and annoying attitude could be reconsidered. Maybe instead of tolerating with them for one week, he'd just tolerate for a day. He couldn't tell though how happy he was to hear Dean's sarcasm live in action. Sam never really knew how much he missed Dean's annoying habits until he lost it for some time and found it again.

"Yeah! You guys were definitely made of the same mold." Dean shook his head in disbelief.

Sam was perplexed, unaware of what that was supposed to mean. He looked at Matt and the youngest hunter just rolled his eyes irately. So he guessed something had been going on between his brother and Matt before he came into the room.

"I see ya' idjit has finally decided to wake up," suddenly Bobby entered the room, followed by Jack and Kyle. The old hunter who the Winchesters had as the closest person to a father walked over to Dean's bedside. "You look like crap Tiger."

"Thanks Bobby." Dean didn't remember seeing Bobby the last time he was awake. So he bet he'd been out for quite some time now and that Sam had to call Bobby meant it had been pretty bad.

"You scared us shitless Dean." Bobby almost broke into tears. His old heart was quite sensitive lately. Dealing with the Winchesters had never been easy and thinking about how close he came into losing the boy again really freaked him out.

"Been doing that a lot lately." Dean felt guilty all of a sudden.

Bobby's lips curled into a tight smile. "Guess what…we found the cure," he announced but somehow he looked less excited.

Sam would have jumped if he didn't see the look on Bobby's face. Even Jack and Kyle were not looking too happy. "What is it Bobby?"

"The cure has a price…a very high price."

Sam gulped nervously. Here we go again.

TBC

a/n: Hey there! Sorry for the late update. My grandma passed away unexpectedly a week ago and this chapter got stuck because I'd been busy with the funeral, the grief and everything. As you can see, the pace in this one was quite slow. Just giving them boys some break. They needed it. Still I hoped it was good enough for you. Thanks for staying with me all the while, they'd been great help and support. Take care now. And oh! Review would always be craved. Thanks!