Friday May 12
Stan stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He cleaned the steam off the mirror to get a look at himself. It still hurt to lift his arm above his head so he had to wait for help from Kyle to make sure his hair looked nice. He was supposed to walk for graduation today.
He stepped back to look over how he was healing. The fresh scar was red and shiny but not quite as painful as when he left the hospital. The little lines ran across the left side of his chest, parallel to his collarbone. Bruising running from the middle of his chest down to the sides, faded to a sick sallow yellow over his protruding ribs.
He had tried to remain in good spirits the past month. Even if everyone seemed overly worried for him. It was a big blank for him, the whole dying and coma part. He thanked Kenny and whoever else was out there that he hadn't suffered brain damage, but still. The little outline of the ICD on his chest was a weird feeling, a constant reminder. An itch he couldn't scratch. But at least he was alive.
Stan jumped at a knock on the door. "Almost done." He said.
"Okay, sweetie. Just making sure…you're okay." Sharon's voice was soft with a touch of fear in it.
"I am mom, don't worry." Stan called back, trying to make quick work of drying himself off.
"I'm going to make breakfast, come down after your morning routine." Sharon's voice warbled.
"I will mom, don't worry." Stan replied, listening for her footsteps down the hall to signal she had gone downstairs.
He felt guilty, his mom utterly terrified and watching his every move. Not like a shower could kill him but he knew his mom was going to be hypervigilant no matter what. Until when? He didn't know. He hoped not forever.
But he made it.
Stan looked himself over in the mirror once more and tried to smile. Wendy said he was still handsome but he was scarred, thinner and constantly tired. He was startled by a knock on the door. "Mom, I swear I'm fine."
"No, it's not mom…it's me, turd. I have to get ready too." Shelly's voice came from the other side of the door. "Didn't know if I'd kill you by knocking on the door."
Stan opens the door to a smirk. "No, go ahead. I'll get ready in my room. Thanks, Shelly."
His sister was being weird with him, not as weird as his mom was being. Shelly had laid off the violence and name calling. 'Turd' was used as a term of endearment at this point. But she was hands off, almost ignoring him. He wanted to ask if she cared or what she thought about his near death experience. But it felt awkward to bring up, and the last thing he wanted was a punch from her.
Shelly lived in the next town over, going to college. She also taught kickboxing at a local gym and played roller derby on the weekends. He knew her life was busy and appreciated that she took time off for his highschool graduation. But he dare not admit it, but he appreciated her visiting.
Stan made his way back to his room. His mom's new house since the divorce was smaller, his bedroom was upstairs along with Shelly's old room and their shared bathroom. Downstairs was his mother's room but she had been sleeping 'upstairs, just in case'. Stan appreciated the care even if it hurt him how much he scared his mom. Shelly was a breath of fresh air in her own harsh way. Making their mom go sleep in her own room and keeping a watchful eye on Stan.
Stan looked around the cool little loft his bed was on. He sat down at his desk and pulled out his medications he now had to take ever since this shit happened. His eyes flicked to the calendar and he stared. He had been looking forward to and dreading this day. The fuss from his mom and his sister visiting aside it had been one month since his collapse. He made it a month and his body hadn't try to kill him again. It was already hard enough with April being a complete blank to him, even last night was a blur. Stan couldn't recall what he had for dinner last night or when exactly he fell asleep. Just another thing to get used to.
His eyes traced to his phone, he picked it up to scroll through the photos of him and his friends at prom. The picture of him and Wendy in the carriage as his phone screensaver. He stared, studying his and Wendy's faces. She was beautiful, but she had a thread of sadness and bitterness through her. He had traumatized everyone, but it hurt most of all how bad Wendy was.
"Hey dude."
Stan jumped and knocked over the glass of water on his desk, spilling it over as he quickly grabbed his phone out of harm's way. "Fuck Kyle, you scared me."
"I'm sorry. I just saw you staring off into space. Didn't want to startle you." Kyle grabs a towel to try and clean up the water and move the papers around on Stan's desk.
Stan looks down at the handful of pills in his hand, not even taken. "What am I supposed to do now?"
"It'll be okay. Don't freak out. I'll get you more water and you put some pants on." Kyle forced a smile at him as he grabbed the overturned glass and went downstairs to fill it up.
Stan got up stiffly, piling the pills on top of his dresser as he opened the drawers up to grab some clothes, feeling humiliated. At least it was Kyle who caught him spacing out and not his mom, she would freak out making Stan feel guilty. He slipped his clothes on the best he could and went to grab the dress shirt his mom had ironed for him. He slipped on the dark blue shirt and took it off again, he would need a bandage over his surgery wound and wear an undershirt for extra protection.
Kyle came back to see Stan staring at himself in the mirror, hand absentmindedly touching the healing scar on his chest. "Stan? I'm back. You gotta stop this." He put a hand on Stan's shoulder to snap him out of it. Trying not to worry, he put the glass of water in his hand and grabbed his meds for him.
Stan blinked back tears but managed to get the pills in his mouth and drink down the water. "I'm sorry, I feel like today is going to be hard."
"You know no one will blame you if you don't want to walk for graduation. Or if you want to leave early." Kyle tells him gently.
"I know, I want to walk at least for my mom." Stan says as he slumps down on his bed.
"You should walk for yourself." Kyle says as he sits next to him. "Don't worry, I'll help you finish getting ready."
Stan nods and points to his dresser. "I need bandages for my incision and an undershirt. I want to look as normal and healthy as possible."
"Everyone is going to understand…" Kyle starts before he's cut off again.
"Kyle, don't. Just don't. Prom was humiliating until the heat was taken off of me. I'm walking for graduation for my mom. I know she wants to see me, the other people don't matter." Stan looks down at Kyle's expression.
"Thanks a lot." Kyle grumbles as he grabs the bandages from the top of the dresser to hand over.
"Not like that." Stan leans back to start to apply ointment to his wounds. "You, Wendy, all my friends matter. I'll be humiliated on stage for my mom's sake. Please, just let me get through this day."
Ten minutes later both Kyle and Stan walked down to breakfast, Stan's arm in a sling. He wanted to rest his left arm so he could use it better when they were out at the graduation.
Sharon was standing at the stove, busying herself with adding piece after piece of French toast to an already large platter. Shelly was cutting up strawberries and bananas. Stan reaches out to grab one and Shelly flicks out a quick hand to hold the knife over him. "Be patient, turd. You're gonna mess up my fruit salad."
Stan frowns and yoinks a piece of bacon instead. "Damn, haven't I been through enough? You gotta pull a knife on me over some strawberries?"
"You'll love the parfait I'm making, you'll be so happy you didn't die without getting to try it." Shelly says as she goes back to chopping fruit.
Sharon's hand freezes over the stove and Kyle glares but Stan can't help but crack a smile. "Damn if not eating your food is what's keeping me alive please keep cooking." He bursts out laughing seemingly to ease the tension in the kitchen.
The cheerful mood remained throughout the breakfast of Stan's favorite French toast and Shelly's parfait which turned out to be really good. ("Told ya, turd.")
Stan could forgive Shelly's smugness if it seemed his mom was doing okay. Sharon seemed happy her children were getting along.
Shelly excused herself to finish doing her makeup and Sharon left to relax a little. Stan stepped out front of the house to take in the springtime morning. He leaned against the beam on the porch, staring out into the neighborhood. Kyle came out a moment later after helping Sharon clean up the kitchen. "You sure you're okay, dude?"
Stna frowned. "Stop asking that. I'll tell you if I'm not feeling well. Okay? But you treating me with kid gloves is just gonna piss me off. If anything you and my mom can drive to the graduation together and I'll make Shelly take me."
"Damn you want Shelly over me?" Kyle said, taken aback.
"She's at least treating me normally. That's all I want." Stan squeezed his eyes shut feeling his heartbeat pick up. Please don't let it happen now. Last thing he wanted was a shock on his graduation day.
"I'm sorry. I am. Please, we wanted to graduate together. I wanted to drive in together."
"I'm so scared…" Stan admits. "I don't want another shock. I don't want to die again. I'm tired of being in pain and sick."
"I'm sorry. I know I worry but it's way harder for you. Please Stan, just be honest with me. I'll treat you normally unless you say you need help." Kyle sighed, remembering him telling Stan to go to the nurse before that fateful gym class.
Stan nods and looks down at his phone. "Kenny wants us to pick him up…from Bebe's house."
"Damn those two got together fast." Kyle sighed, happy to have an excuse to change the subject.
Stan cracked a smile. "I can't wait to hear the story after this."
Kenny waited as Bebe distracted her parents so he could sneak out the back door undetected. He wanted one more kiss before he left but Bebe quickly shooed him out of her room. Their date had run late and she invited him to stay the night as long as he wasn't too loud.
She had been the loud one.
So Kenny found the park on the morning of his graduation with a shit eating grin on his face as he waited for Stan and Kyle to pick him up.
Moments later, Kyle pulled up in his hatchback and unlocked the doors. "You look happy."
Kenny slid into the backseat of the car and put his hands behind his head. "I got to spend the night with Bebe, neither of us got much sleep if you know what I mean."
"We always know what you mean." Stan smirks as Kyle grumbles and starts up the car again. "Must be nice, I've hardly seen Wendy since prom."
"She been busy since then?" Kenny asks as he buckles himself in.
"I kinda ruined the last month for her with my whole thing, so she had a ton of makeup work to do. But she managed to get a nearly perfect GPA. I'm so happy for her." Stan smiles dreamily.
"She's valedictorian?" Kenny asks.
"Yeah I know, she beat me by a few skipped Spanish quizzes." Kyle snapped, before his tone softened. "Not that it matters."
"She called me last night, not wanting to worry me but frustrated with the speech she's supposed to give." Stan leans forward to fiddle with the radio. "My fucking fault she's so stressed."
"Nah, she'd be freaking out over schoolwork if you didn't almost die or not." Kenny clapped a hand on Stan's shoulder which Stan quickly shrugs off.
"Watch it, my shoulders are sensitive, buttlord." Stan puts his hand across his chest as he looks at Kyle. "You okay, dude?"
"I'm fine…" Kyle said shortly. "Seems Wendy still got the highest grades despite everything."
"Come on, you can't be jealous or mad about that." Stan grumbles.
"I'm not, I've seen you every day and Wendy can just throw herself into schoolwork." Kyle looks away as he heads down Main Street of South Park.
"Please don't. Don't make me feel worse about all this." Stan says, sinking back into his seat.
Kenny looks between his two friends, wanting to think of something to break the tension. "Hey dudes, can we stop so I can take a shower? Want to get the smell of all night sex off of me before we have to show up to graduation."
"Aw dude, gross. Yeah sure, stop at my house." Stan says looking out the window as they pass Wendy's house.
Wendy sat before her vanity, combing her hair. She made sure the slight natural wave to it wouldn't go flat. she was expected to give a speech to the whole school, she wanted to look her best. So far it was turning into a headache as her hair wasn't cooperating. She put the brush down on the table, grumbling in frustration. She felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes but angrily shrugged them off. She couldn't cry today of all days.
If tears appeared today they wouldn't stop, so she was hiding her feelings away. She found it was getting harder and harder to keep her frustration under control.
Wendy made excuses and saw Stan less after prom. She spent countless hours studying and catching up on missed schoolwork, extra credit, and test prep and study. She was called into the principal's office the last day of school, not sure if she was in trouble for but ended up gobsmacked. She managed to score number one on finals and had the top GPA in their school. At least pouring her pain into schoolwork ended up with her receiving a hefty scholarship.
Now she stood on the day of graduation, a speech prepared. Stan had called to talk and offered to take her out, drag her away from her being swamped with work. But she turned him down, feeling horrible and guilty at the same time. The fact was she was afraid of Stan now, it wasn't his fault but it wasn't her fault either. It seemed easier just to say she was busy and cancel plans than to admit the truth to herself.
That's not fair to him, to you either. You deserve to be happy. The little voice gnawed at her. She wished to spill to someone, Bebe being first on her list. But since she started dating Kenny her best friend wasn't as available. Wendy didn't know who else to ask. She picked up her iPhone and scrolled through her friends until she found Sophie's name. Sophie would be a neutral party in this, or maybe not since she was Kyle's girlfriend. Even so Wendy sent out the text.
"Ever think about breaking up with your boyfriend?"
She hesitated to hit send. She looked up to find her mother, Deborah in the doorway. "Come on Wendy, we have to be early. I'm so proud of you graduating."
Wendy nodded and smiled as she stood up to look at herself in her graduation gown in the mirror. Her father Sean came in and handed his daughter a bouquet of flowers. She ended up bursting into tears, they were the same purple lilacs that had been sitting on the table next to Stan's hospital bed, forever burned into her memory.
Stan stepped out of Kyle's car and blinked up into the open air. The late spring sun was already beating down on them and it was barely ten am. He looked over at the rows of seats and stage set out for their graduation, the people milling about. He let out a sigh, trying not to let his annoyance show.
Kyle got out of his car and smoothed down the graduation sash draped over his neck. It was green with gold trim and stated he was in the top ten of the class academically, with little designs of the honor society, basketball team, and the Star of David symbol. He was ready for any remarks from Cartman just in case.
Kenny got out of the backseat and stretched out. Always without a solid plan he was able to take a shower at Stan's house and borrow some dress clothes for the event. Better than the tuxedo t-shirt he was wearing when he went out with Bebe last night.
Stan stood awkwardly off to the side, running his fingers over the sash ordered for him. It had football and band on it, all he was good for, and probably what he would be remembered for if he had died. He didn't want to tell Kenny to kill the mood or stir up his curse, but the shirt and slacks that appeared in the closet were given to his mother for Stan to be buried in. Best now it went to Kenny.
"What you thinking about?" Kyle said, putting a hand on Stan's shoulder gently.
"Nothing…I want to see Wendy." Stan lied as he tried to make his posture relax.
"If she's giving a speech, she's going to be in the back with the teachers and principal. Better we go find our seats before our parents get here." Kyle said pointedly.
"Fine…guess we should. Fuck, the seats are in alphabetical order. Hope I don't get stuck sitting next to someone who sucks." Stan grumbles.
"I'd love to sit next to someone who sucks. As long as she's hot." Kenny grins. "Come on dude. We're both M names. Need to get to our row."
"Catch you from the beginning of the alphabet." Kyle gives a small wave and makes his way to the front row.
Stan rolls his eyes but gives a small wave. "Let's get this over with." He sighs as he makes his way down the aisle, Kenny following behind him.
"Excuse me, excuse me." Stan muttered as he made his way down the row, knowing everyone was getting his ass in their face. Better than exposing his chest for whatever reason. He couldn't wait for this to be over with and not have to think of school or his embarrassment ever again, minus in therapy.
Stan finally found his seat and sunk down in it gratefully, he looked around to see he was seated between Scott Malkinson and Red McArthur. Kenny waved to him a few seats down.
"Hey Stan, how's your heart?" Scott says, peering at him.
"Uh…fine? How's…your lisp and diabetes?" Stan crosses his arms over his chest, trying to not let the twinge in his shoulder bother him.
"Ah well…you know. Gotta keep my blood sugar up, it's very hard to find the balance. Then with the new medications and all, gotta keep up with my doctors appointments. I'm sure you're no stranger to that." Scott continued.
Stan let Scott drone on, the lisp breaking up the other boy's speech patterns while he watched the podium as announcers came up to give speeches. He watched the lull in the audience, Scott's lisp, the murmur of the crowd as he waited for Wendy's turn to speak. Another reason he wanted to get through graduation, he wanted to see his girlfriend have her moment to shine. Kyle and Sophie might have snagged prom king and queen but academics were where Wendy excelled. Stan had nearly ruined that for her, but despite his coma she managed to get valedictorian and a hefty scholarship to cover at least her first year of college in Chicago.
Stan felt a twinge in his heart, which he hoped was fully emotional. She was leaving in August and hadn't spent much time with him minus prom. He hoped they would make up for lost time over the summer but with the days counting down.
"Stop it." A female voice hissed a few seats down.
Stan turned his attention away from his inner turmoil to see Kenny leaning over to Red on the other side of him. "Hey…since we're graduating and all I always wondered." Kenny said with a sly smile.
"Shhh, trying to listen." Red said sharply again.
"Red? Rebecca? Does the carpet match the drapes?" Kenny asked.
Red huffed in anger before a punch landed squarely in Kenny's eye as he let out a loud "owwww." Making the principal stop in the middle of his speech to tell the audience to quiet down.
Stan moved over to whisper to Red. "Psssst."
"Oh what do you want, heart attack boy?" Red snapped as Kenny moaned and rubbed his eye.
"Heart attack boy? I was gonna ask if you want to switch seats so Kenny won't bother you and I don't have to listen to Scott's lisp and diabetes."
Red considered it before nodding and kicking Kenny in the shin before she got up to switch seats with Stan before Kenny could protest.
Stan held his chest carefully knowing his ass was going into the face of his classmates as he passed by. "Excuse me, 'scuse me" he muttered before he settled in Red's seat next to Kenny who was starting to show signs of a black eye.
"Owww." Kenny moaned again as he squinted at Stan.
"Serves you right." Stan shook his head.
"Her nickname has been Red since we were in preschool. I had to know." Kenny muttered and he rubbed his face. "Not like it's the worst injury I've had but I wanted to look good for graduation."
"Yeah, so do I, it's looking like an infirmary in this section of the audience." Stan grumbled as he rubbed his chest, ignoring the stares from around him. A new horrible thought popped into his head, if he got shocked here, his graduation would be ruined and embarrassing all over again.
Stan blinked from out of his intrusive thoughts to clap along with the audience but sat up, his smile growing wider as they announced the valedictorian next.
Wendy stepped on stage, overlooking her classmates and all their loved ones. She had given many speeches before in her time at South Park, but here she felt under the microscope, pressured to offer insightful words to her graduating class.
She felt like they were all doomed. She would be letting them down. She put a decent speech together but her usual perfectionism was gone. She just wanted highschool to be over already. Seemed like the advice she wanted to give was just run away and don't look back. Instead she stepped forward onto the stage, clearing her throat and smoothing her hair over her shoulders, Wendy Testaburger stepped up to the podium.
"Hello graduating class!" Wendy broke into a smile, it being like second nature as she stood in front of an audience. She could squeeze down her sadness for this moment. "We finally made it and we did it together, in style."
Stan clapped and cheered as Kenny whistled and yelled "Take your top off!" as Stan elbowed him in the ribs.
Wendy took another deep breath as she ignored Kenny and Stan as she continued. "It's been a long strange trip these past twelve years, growing up in this tiny town we've seen our share of crazy happenings going on. It leaves me wondering what's in store for the future. Hopefully college is smooth sailing without the city being destroyed every other week." Wendy looks down as the crowd laughs at her joke. She takes in another deep breath before continuing.
"But for the future, I want to say, take what's happened and apply it to challenges in your life. You've overcome so much growing up in this town, leaving highschool behind, you're a survivor." Wendy says.
Stan looks down, his eyes filling with tears. Was she talking about him? Wendy's words blur together like his vision. He was a terrible boyfriend, can't even focus on her speech, his head swimming and that light from this warm sunny day bothering him. He wanted nothing more than to take Wendy in his arms and kiss her until his tears disappeared, the sweet softness of her lips, and the sound of her voice in his ears telling him it was going to be okay. He hadn't heard those words it felt like forever, at least since prom. He hated this.
The crowd erupted into applause as Wendy finished her speech and the principal shook her hand and put a few metals and sashes around her neck, marks of academic merit. Stan's breath caught in his throat as Wendy smiled and waved to the crowd, he had forgotten to clap for her. He hoped she hadn't noticed.
He carefully sat back down as the students started being called up one by one. He forced himself to concentrate as one by one his graduating class made their way to the stage to accept their diplomas.
Kyle fidgeted in his seat as he waited to be called up, he would be the first of his friend group to cross the line as a highschool graduate, sadly he was in the same row as Eric Cartman.
Cartman was booing Wendy softly as she gave her speech, even if she made a point to ignore him. Her own voice faltered when she looked towards the middle of the crowd, Kyle assuming she was looking for Stan.
Kyle stood in line at the side of the stage waiting for his name to be called. He could still hear Cartman making a racket behind him and he didn't want to punch out the fatass one last time and ruin his own graduation.
"Up next is Kyle Matthew Broflovski." The principal called out.
He felt it, a little thing hit him right in the neck as his name was announced. It took Kyle everything he had not to scream at Cartman as he ascended the stairs onto the stage to accept his diploma. He would not let his nemesis ruin the moment he worked so hard for.
"Congratulations, son." The principal said as he handed over a flat folder embossed in gold with South Park High School. He stops and takes a second look at Kyle. "You're the one who saved that boy's life."
Kyle felt his cheeks burn, the crowd clapping but Kyle turned his back. "Of course, he's my best friend. How can I not?"
"I see great things in store for you. Call my office, I can write you a recommendation letter anytime." The principal continued to gush at Kyle.
Cartman cupped his hands around his mouth, "You can suck the principal's dick later, Kyle. Some of us want to graduate."
"Fuck you, fatass." Kyle yelled as he made his way off the stage, exiting his graduation moment in anger.
One by one Stan watched his friends and classmates cross the line to shake hands with the principal, he himself feeling nervous as it got closer to his turn.
Kenny poked him on the shoulder. "You okay dude?"
"Yes!" Stan said a little too loudly, prompting some stares. "Just getting nervous we'll have to go on stage next."
"Yeah it will be the final time all eyes will be on you, before the…" Kenny patted his chest.
"Aw man, I don't want to think about that." Stan grumbles as a teacher goes up to their row to have them make their way to the stage.
"Sorry dude. Didn't mean it like that." Kenny shook his head. "Can't believe I'm going to graduate with a black eye. I don't want to be like my parents. I guess I'm not if I'm actually graduating."
"I just don't want people to feel sorry for me, I mean. I don't know." Stan feels his heart speed up as the line inches closer to the stage, a wave of nausea overtaking him. "Oh god, oh my god."
"Stan, I'm kidding. Don't go all emo on me and just enjoy graduating." Kenny said, getting slightly concerned for his friend.
"They're going to be like, that's the kid who died. That pathetic piece of shit. Or worse they'll hang their heads in pity at me." Stan continues as they inch forward in line.
"Dude, I wish they would say that about me. Don't worry, I'll be there for you when you grab your diploma and no matter what else happens in the future." Kenny tells him.
Stan nods and feels his eyes water as he starts to climb the stairs to the graduation stage. Red pushes him a little forward since he was supposed to go after Scott. His head swam and he looked in the sea of the crowd feeling horrible stage fright. Fuck he didn't want to make an ass of himself.
"Scott Malkinson." The principal called out as Scott moved across the stage to get his diploma. Fuck, Stan was next.
Scott crossed the stage and accepted his diploma, waving to the crowd as they clapped politely and Scott shook the hand of the principal. Stan prepared himself to cross the stage when the principal looked behind his shoulder and an older, kind looking woman stepped forward taking a diploma from the stack.
"Stanley Marsh." The woman said into the microphone as Stan confused at the announcer change, but managed to make his way onto the stage.
Stan reached out for his diploma but the woman set it to the side. "Look at you, walking around and getting to graduate. I'm so happy."
"Thanks." Stan looked down, embarrassed.
"Don't you know who I am? It's okay if you don't remember." The woman said, her eyes shrinked wrapped in tears.
"I don't, sorry." Stan gripped his sore left arm, wondering why this had to take place on stage in front of the whole school.
"I'm nurse Marion, I helped your friend give you CPR and saved your life. I'm so happy you're going to be okay. Is it okay if I give you a hug?"
Stan looked at this woman in shock, angry at himself for not being able to remember. "Okay, just a light one."
Nurse Marion handed over Stan's diploma and enveloped him into a hug. Stan let her hug him, his arms painfully to his sides, the tears he had been fighting all day no longer had a reason to hide. "Thank you." Was all he could say.