mugglepirate-Do you really want me to answer that? ;)
Takarameri-I live to make things complicated... And exploring inner motives is my favorite hobby. XD.
Ray Venn Hakubi- Two words: heh heh
hping-Is this ASAP? Or did it take too long?
pythoness-Here's the more you demand! I am the faithful servant of my reviewers!
Stormy Phoenix-Yah, cliffhangers are fun.
Lizai- I am very glad this has been making you think. That's the point, after all. XD.
kytana- Pigeons?
Elskestar- Yeah... I usually proofread before tacking another chapter onto Herald In Black but I didn't feel like it last time... blush
DragonFlame27- You shall see. mwa. Ha. Mwaha!
stormsfury- Wait no more.
Ban Capall- But cliffies are fun! ;)
Niana Kuonji- Moonchild? That's a cool turn of phrase. Is it ML's, yours, or someone elses?
kathleen mccrry- XD. That's all I have to say. XD. Which, by the way, for those who don't recognize it, is a grin. An emoticon. Like :) except way happier.
SuzSeb- hands you this chapter
"Remember that day, Carry?"
"I remember," I answered, sitting next to Raleigh in that misty, ill-defined place. It had been another summer day, and we had been training on horse back… Anyway, it was a long time ago, but I remembered it.
"I miss those days," he said, looking at me with sad, lost eyes.
"Raleigh?" I asked him, knowing it was a dream, "What are you doing here?"
"Here?" he looked surprised, and glanced around, "I'm… not sure…"
"In my dream I mean," I said pointedly, staring at him and wishing him back to his body in Haven.
"Your dream?" this seemed to make him even more surprised- and at that I started remembering a dream I once had in a past life…
"Lily," I said, turning around on the porch of our home to stare at her. I was lucid dreaming, but nothing was working and I was stuck in my dream realm with nothing to do anymore and I was really bored. So I decided to tell dream-Lily, whom I couldn't get ride of, that I was lucid dreaming.
"You know… I'm lucid dreaming," I said casually, as one might say, "You know… this chicken is pretty good."
"Really?" she asked, perking up in an entirely un-Lily like way, "So am I!"
I sighed, and turned around. So much for conversing with bits of my memories…
Faolan woke to a touch to her shoulder and blinked her eyes as Magdalia retreated, pushing past animals skins to get outside. It was morning, and the day smelled very wet. It must have rained last night, but none damp had gotten inside and it hadn't woken Faolan. She always found it strange when one woke to find the world changed. Like snow. She itched for snow.
She stood slowly, stretching, and then moved quickly outside and to the latrines, wet earth pressing against her calloused feet as she moved. The air smelled fresh and new, and very earthy, as it always did after a rain, and the rising sun pushed through the green leaves of the forest around them in golden halos- from the mist and steam rising from a warmed earth. Mmm… Faolan thought with a happy sigh.
As she wandered back from the latrines she spied a certain albino hovering about at the edges of the huts and stopped short in the trees, wondering if he'd seen her. Aric was a strange person, and Faolan couldn't quite tell if he actually had an dark intentions or if he was just weird. She was insanely curious about him- since he claimed Valdemaren heritage. And now that she knew what to look for, she saw it. His accent, his looks- she hadn't noticed at first because he was an albino but he definitely had a Valdemaren build. His actions too… But after that insomniac discussion, Aric had stayed away- except to give her creepy smiles every once and a while. Faolan decided to nickname him Ghost, since he acted and looked like one.
But Ghost was just standing about, looking either lost or up to something, so Faolan went in the opposite direction from him and got back to Magdalia and others in a totally different route. He probably wouldn't have done anything but give her that creepy smile but… Faolan would rather avoid that. She had the feeling there was more to him- but she didn't want to risk losing control of her Gifts to try and read his mind or sense his thoughts. Besides, she didn't have any good reason to read his mind- other than sheer curiosity and that didn't qualify under her list of ethical reasons to mind read. So Aric the Ghost would stay a mystery…
That day Faolan had the normal training all the youngsters did, with the Game and archery and other weapons practice, but she also had private tutoring in her Change. Some days all Skylar did was talk to her, so that the knowledge and understanding of true werewolfism was in her head, and other days he had her Change with him, or without him, to practically apply what she was learning and to see how far she had progressed. It wasn't far, as of yet. She'd made the first step, and that was shown in the previous nights of the full moon, in which she at least wasn't trying to suppress herself. But apparently, though she'd taken the first step, and a big one, there was still a long way to go, and the rest was much more difficult.
In fact, it was to the point where Faolan didn't look forward to her training. Sometimes she wished she had never come to spy, and just stayed as she was- a weredog instead of a werewolf… But then she'd remember that though she acted like a dog, she wasn't, and Skylar made this pointedly clear quite often. He also had some supplemental tales about those who tried to tame wolves. Apparently it worked- sort of. But sooner or later the instinct to kill would break out and those 'tame' wolves would realize that they weren't pets, and didn't really care to be worshipful omegas to the humans that had 'tamed' them.
But either way, Skylar said she was progressing, and that was good, despite Faolan still feeling strange accepting tutoring from her enemies, those she spied against. Not that she had learned much that was useful so far….
:You HAVE found out useful information, Faolan,: Raul poked into that train of thought that had dawdled along after her days training.
:Like?: Faolan wanted to know as she wandered back towards camp, her feet pressing against the warm earth.
:Like how werewolves live, why they fight, where they're from… Faolan, knowing an enemy's motive for fighting is almost as important as knowing they're werewolves at all,: Raul exclaimed inside Faolan's head and suddenly Faolan wished she could see Raul again. Then she paused- would anyone take it amiss is she wandered off for a bit?
:Raul, where are you?: Faolan asked, peering around the trees carefully. No, there was definitely no one around… No one to follow her and see her converse with a Companion…
:Why?: Raul sounded suspicious and Faolan mentally sighed. Of course, she hadn't thought about the cooperation with her Companion this would involve.
:I need to see you,: the werewolf answered, :And I doubt anyone will question me needing some alone time.:
:I'm far away, Faolan,: Raul answered with a sigh, :You can't just come visit me.:
:Not that far, or I wouldn't be able to hear you… Besides, this way YOU can give me some more teaching with my Gifts: Faolan pointed out with an impish tone in her mindvoice and set off through the trees in the direction she guessed she'd find Raul.
:FAO!: Raul said loudly in her head, sounding shocked, :It is far too dangerous! Besides, it'd take you all day to get here.:
:I don't care,:Faolan answered determinedly, :And no one is following me. I can use my mind speech to check.:
And she did- at that very instant dropping her shields. No voices entered her mind. Triumphantly she brought her shields back up and sent an inquiry to Raul. The Companion was silent, but Fao felt her angry defeat.
:With my shields down if anyone was anywhere near I would have heard them,: Faolan announced, and then, just to make sure, she peered around the clearing as well, :And you'll sense anyone coming when I reach you.:
:What if someone has Shields of their own?:Raul retorted, but Fao knew she'd already won.
:I doubt it… I got no impression of any of the werewolves having Gifts… Besides, isn't it only Heralds that have those Gifts?:Faolan inquired, moving her pace up to a job. She hoped she was going in the right direction-it felt right. She was probably somehow following Raul's mindvoice or mind presence or something.
:Well, the werewolves aren't Valdemaren,: Raul pointed out with a mental sigh.
:Hmm…: said Faolan. The ground beneath her was now sloping up slightly and she knew she was climbing up out of the valley now. She hoped she'd be able to find her way back, :Where are you, anyway, Raul?:
:Inside Valdemar,:she answered dryly.
:Where am I?:Fao then asked thoughtfully.
:Outside Valdemar. In Karse actually,: Raul explained. Faolan's eyebrows went up- she'd known she was somewhere near the border, but she didn't know she was actually over it. But that made sense- why would the non-warriors be in enemy territory? If this was Karse, it looked an awful lot like Valdemar. Perhaps it changed more farther in…
A few hours later, after she had hiked out of the Valley and was wandering up and down some smaller hills in the mountains she, quite suddenly, came up Raul. The Companion mare had been running- it was clear by the sweat on her sides- but it was a mild sweat, so she hadn't been exerting herself to much, nor had she run too far.
"You came to meet me," Faolan accused, looking up at the white creature from a stance that was a lot higher up than it had been last time she saw the Companion.
:You've grown,: Raul said, copying Faolan by not submitting a greeting, then she added, :I needed the exercise.:
"You've grown too," Faolan commented- for Raul had. She looked more adult like- the fillyish part of her had been lost. At this, standing before Raul in a random part of the woods in the middle of nowhere, Faolan was struck by sadness. We're missing each other growing up. Not that either of us weren't mentally mature already but… She sighed, and then moved forward quickly to wrap her arms around Raul's neck, something she was actually tall enough to do.
:I've missed you: Raul said, putting her nose into Faolan's lengthening red hair, her breath warm and horsey, :Wandering around as a wild white horse living off inferior grass and shrubs just isn't as nice as doing it with one's Herald.:
"I've missed you too," Faolan replied, her voice muffled against Raul's soft coat, "Being around your own kind just doesn't make up for being with your Companion."
Raul stepped backwards and gave Faolan a reproving look, :The werewolves are not your own kind, Faolan. Your own kind are the Heralds, and all Valdemarens. Being a werewolf doesn't make you one of them.:
By their standards it does, Faolan thought, but didn't say anything, because Raul was right. It was just so hard to keep herself an outsider while pretending to be an insider! Especially with what she was offered because she was considered one of them… And I will pay you back with betrayal. Yet to not betray them was another betrayal… If only there was another way to reach true control!
Faolan stared at Raul, blue eyes on blue, and she almost cried. But… staring into her Companion's eyes, she didn't. Because crying wouldn't help her. She was in a tough situation, but as Herald, she was expected to deal with it. She wasn't a seven year old, she could handle this, so Faolan just gazed into Raul's eyes.
:Just don't totally go over to their side,: Raul said as a joke, :I don't want to have to repudiate you.:
And with a laugh Faolan hugged Raul again, tightly, hard, her eyes damp, but not from stress. It was from happiness. Happiness to be seeing Raul again, to have that support so close to her, to be able to hug and be hugged… After a few minutes passed Raul nudged Fao again and she stepped back to gaze at the Companion again.
"I feel older," Faolan said, leaning up against a tree, "I've always half felt middle aged and half felt like my physical age but today… I feel older."
Raul nodded, :Your life and memories are starting to settle in and get used to each other, meld so fully you don't notice it as much anymore… Thus, instead of half the time acting like your physical age, and half the time acting like your mental age, you're nearing the happy medium. I doubt you'll ever quite get their, since you'll keep getting older and learning new things in this life, and your other lives will always be adjusting to that, but at some point you'll get as close as you will. Am I right- your memories of other lives don't come so much as flashbacks anymore?:
Faolan nodded, her thoughts renewed by this insight to her past lives. It was true- she just hadn't really been thinking about it what with the whole spying, werewolf stuff going on. Then she sighed and gave a smile, staring up through the trees.
"It's good to see you, Raul," she said.