Disclaimer: Winchester boys and Bobby – so not mine! Wish they were though.
Co-author: bia1007

a/n: Sorry that the story took forever to be updated. Anyway, thanks for sticking to this story, for the wonderful reviews, and of course for the alert and favorites. You guys rock!!

Chapter 14

"Dean…?"

Dean didn't like the sound of that. Sam sounded needy and demanding, and he was in no mood of tolerating a bitchy face, not now. He slung one arm across his eyes, shielding them from the offending light and from the infamous puppy dog eyes – he knew he could never win over those hazel eyes if Sam decided to use them against him.

"Hmm…" He answered anyway.

"What did Bobby mean when he asked you if you remember?" Sam tilted to his side, propping on one bent elbow. "What is it that you were supposed to remember?" He asked looking up to his brother suspiciously.

"I really don't remember…" came out raspy from Dean's mouth.

"Jack…" Sam continued, not willing to give up just yet. It was in his nature to share his thoughts. Dean was just lucky to be the one he was going to share everything with. "He looked familiar…you think we'd met him somewhere?"

"Not sure," was what Dean breathed out, just as Sam had anticipated.

"And Bobby seems to know him so well." Reasoning was one of Sam Winchester's skill and perhaps one of his weapons against a stubborn big brother.

"He knows everyone…" Dean reasoned back. Well, Sam had learnt from the best. An apple didn't fall far from the tree.

All the time he was looking at Dean, his brother never once looked back at him. Sam realized it immediately. The wall was coming down.

Sam was not going to give him any chances. He needed answers and he wanted them now! "Dean!!" Sam tugged at Dean's arm and cringed at the sound of his voice. Sam Winchester was whining to get attention.

"What?!" Dean lifted his arm – green eyes shooting a deadly glare towards his little brother. The glare however couldn't stop Sam's adrenalin rush.

"At least you could pretend that you cared!" There was no anger in his tone but enough annoyance to cause Dean feeling guilty for a moment. "He'd helped us for God's sake!"

"Seriously Sam?" Only now Dean was looking at him, face distorted with disbelief. "Is there anyone in the world that you don't want to be related with?" Grunting with dismay, Dean rolled to his side, his back to Sam.

Sam raised his arms in defeat and let them fall. "Geez! You're unbelievable!"

"No…I'm just beat." Dean said gravely.

For a moment there Sam thought his big brother was telling the truth, that he really was exhausted and needed to rest. But on second thought this was Dean Winchester he was dealing with. Dean Winchester never admitted to be tired unless he was hiding something.

"No Dean…you know something's going on." Sam insisted.

Sighing resignedly, Dean rolled back towards Sam and studied his brother's face. Sam was glaring with such fervor he couldn't help but snort in amusement. Suddenly Sam looked so much like the five year old Sammy who would never give up asking until his brother gave in to his curiosity.

"What?" Seeing his brother snorting with glee after he lashed out was not a comforting thought. Blood was rushing to his face.

"If anyone's unbelievable, it's you Sam." Dean chuckled. It was funny how he would always succumb to his brother though he tried hard not to.

Sam pouted and that made Dean burst into a laughing fit.

"I swear you should've been born a girl, Sammy!" Dean laughed and earned a punch on the shoulder, hard enough it felt like an ache

"That's not what you'd have said some years ago Dean."

The gruff voice almost made Dean and Sam jump. It sounded so familiar they almost thought 'he' was there with them. For a moment there their hearts skipped a beat. Turning into the direction of the voice, they found Jack walking towards them – tall and sturdy. He looked a lot like…John.

Sam shook his head, shaking the image away. He had no idea why he was seeing John in Jack. Jack maybe was similar to the father John had been, but he didn't resemble John so much that Sam saw his father in him, or did he? Glancing at his brother, Sam didn't quite understand what he was seeing on Dean's face. Was it recognition?

"Hey Jack!" was all Sam could manage in his near stupor.

Jack replied with a slight tilt of his head and a tight smile. Approaching slowly, his steps seemed to be hesitant.

Sam threw a curious glance at Dean and saw his brother sitting up hastily, as if trying to flee from the scene. Dean was trying his best not to look at Jack's face as the guy approached them. His big brother's face was grim and his jaw tight. Something was bothering Dean, Sam was sure of it, and it had something to do with Jack.

"You boys okay?" Jack sagged down on the couch across Dean, all the time fixing his eyes on Sam and avoiding Dean's eyes.

"Yeah, peachy." Sam raised one thumb and winked. "Thanks to you." Sam couldn't ever thank the Callahans enough. They had been with him when he was breaking down – offering comfort and pillars of support. Jack was the one who found Dean in the lake. Dean would be dead if not for him.

"You did all the work…We were just lending a helping hand."

Jack cleared his throat. When he came in from the kitchen, he thought Bobby already had broken the news to the boys. But from the look of it, Bobby hadn't told them anything. Shit, Bobby! He wished Bobby had done that for him, saving him from the extreme fury or emotional outbreak that were expected from both Winchesters.

Now he hoped one of the boys would start asking him questions because he didn't know where to start.

"Jack," and his wish was granted. The youngest Winchester had always been the most curious. Even when he was just a baby, he'd been curious. "You said you know our dad…how?"

The question was left unattended when Dean suddenly looked up and shot Jack a deadly glare. In a bleak voice, he said "Was that all that you told him…that you know our father?!" The look on Dean's face showed total anger and disappointment. "That's it?"

Jack was taken aback. He remembered! All this time he remembered. And they – he and John – thought they were so good at keeping secrets. Fidgeting with his fingers, Jack tried to respond "I…I'm…"

"What?! You're sorry?" Dean grunted. "After all these years, you're just going to say you're sorry?!" His eyes were hot and his vision started to blur. He blinked away the tears, unwilling to expose the dejection he was feeling.

Sam, who was sitting on the floor in between the two older men suddenly felt estranged. As if he was trapped in a world unknown to him. He had never seen so much sorrow in Dean's face – at least not after Dad's death. And Jack, Jack was cowering in his seat, much like someone who had committed the biggest crime of his life.

Sam however was lost.

"You and dad, you guys are selfish!" Dean continued, uncaring to stop. "You think of nothing but yourself," he accused harshly.

Jack felt the words stabbed his heart, like it stopped pumping blood.

"All these time…you shut us out! You made us strangers…hell! You made me a stranger!" He was losing it. All those pain from the estrangement from people he could call family, of keeping everything to himself, of pretending that he didn't have the slightest clue, was all coming out in a violent rush and he was not able to stop it. "I thought you were different…but no, you're just like him…just like dad."

Dean stood up. "You guys never even thought of me or Sammy or your sons…the things I had to keep from Sammy…the pain I had to endure when he longed for Jenny, for Kyle, when he cried out their names in his sleep, when I had to tell him that they were all in his imagination, not real!" He rubbed a hand across his face, smearing the unshed tears with his palm. "You made us family only to make us strangers in the end," and he fell back to the couch again, burying his face in his hands. After a while Dean looked up, his eyes puffy and red.

"And dad…oh my God! Dad kept everything to himself till the end!" Dean mumbled. He was engulfed in a feeling he couldn't really comprehend. "That friggin' coward!"

He didn't see it coming and neither did Sam. Dean didn't see it when Jack leapt up from the couch, lurched towards him and punched him square on the face. The only thing he registered was his face felt numb, what later turned into a sharp stinging pain. Rubbing his cheek, he swallowed the copper taste of blood oozing from a scratch inside his cheek.

"Don't you say that! Don't you dare say that!!" Jack's voice thundered above them. His fingers were still curled in a shaky fist. His face showed nothing but rage.

"You think we never felt the pain?" Jack's voice was hoarse, filled with sadness "How did you think we felt? Yes! We're stupid…stupid enough to shut off ourselves from each other, but that doesn't mean we stopped loving each other…we're brothers for God's sake!"

Sam shot up to his feet. His breathing was frantic as if he had just acquired an asthma attack. Listening to Dean was hurtful enough, the things he didn't know, and now, "Brothers?"

"What?!" Looking up to Sam and then to Jack between slits, Dean asked "You and our Dad… were brothers?!" His voice was croaky. Something was blocking his airway, a big lump that couldn't be washed down. The revelation was shocking him and Dean didn't know how to get himself back together.

"How could that possibly be?" Sam's eyes ran over Jack's face wildly. "Dad never said anything about him having a brother…and your name is not even Winchester…What the heck?" and Sam almost blacked out because of sheer shock. He felt a sudden wave of vertigo that had him staggering like he was drunk. "You're kidding right?!" He could taste the bile filling his mouth and Sam fought hard to keep it down.

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't mean everything to be revealed this way. It was too harsh, even for him. "Sit down son…before you fall down." He waved at Sam.

He would like to retort, to say no but Sam flopped down to the couch next to his brother instead - like a log, stiff and hard. It was Dean's grip on his arm that grounded him, that made his breathing going back to normal.

Jack sighed "Guess I have a lot of explaining to do," and sagged to the couch. He bent over, elbows on his knees, and rubbed a callused hand to his face.

"Start now." Dean said coldly. "We're not going anywhere."

…………………….

"Kyle."

Kyle turned around, shooting his little brother a questioning look.

"Do you think the Winchesters are somehow related to us?"

Unsure of how to answer his brother, Kyle returned to his task at hand. The question had been hovering over him for quite some time now. When he first met Sam at Stanford he was immediately attached to the youngest Winchester, not only because he saw Matt in him but there was something familiar about Sam that he couldn't put his finger on. Now, seeing Dean, he was having the same feeling all over again. And his father above all, was acting strange in the presence of the Winchesters.

Matt didn't miss the drastic changes in Kyle's features. He saw how his brother was squaring his shoulder, going rigid all of a sudden. "Kyle?" Matt relentlessly called for his brother.

"I don't know Matt! Stop asking me!" Kyle retorted, more to himself than to Matt.

Matt glowered. Fine! If Kyle was not going to share, he was not going to be friendly either.

All the time the interrogation was taking place Bobby had kept his mouth shut. But his mind was screaming curses. Not at the kids, but at their old men. They were the one who were the jackasses, but it was their sons who had to pay for the consequences.

Jack better started to mend things or Bobby was going to start putting rewards on his head or worse, bullets.

…………………………

Sometimes, the truth should be left untold because it hurt too damn much. But people had no choice but to dig for it to survive the reality they were living in. Jack would find out today how much it hurt to tell the truth.

Taking a deep breath, Jack started "Your father and I, we have the same mom…" That explained the different family names. "Our mom remarried after John's dad died and it turned out that my dad was not much of a father." He ran a weary hand through his hair, trying hard to keep the memories of the beating and the abuse locked somewhere in his conscious mind.

"And mom…didn't help much," was blurted in between sobs. "John was my keeper, my guardian, my protector…he was always there for me, my world." Suddenly everything was coming back to him and Jack couldn't help but let loneliness seep in. Things he'd done two decades ago were real stupid, done out of sheer foolishness. Damn! Both of them were morons, the biggest ever.

"When we're old enough…we ran and never came back."

Sam swallowed. So running away was a family tradition after all.

"We kept our relation a secret…just to be safe, so that no one would suspect that we were on the run." Jack leant back to the couch. "We told everyone we're good friends going on a road trip and they bought our story because of the different family names."

Looking at his big brother, Sam realized how quiet and rigid Dean had become. He seemed to be listening, but Sam knew better. His features were tense and his lips were tight. Dean had so many things running in his mind and some of them might not be cherry.

"Then…we arrived in Lawrence, and that's where we met Mary, the love of John's life." Jack smiled as Mary's face flashed before his eyes. He was happy John finally found his happiness in Mary – at least his life didn't revolve only on keeping his little brother safe from harm. "Then we both served Uncle Sam…and when we're back, your Dad proposed to your mom and I met Jenny at their wedding." At least they still had some good memories.

"Only the people closest to us knew that we are brothers…your mom, my wife," was told with a smile carved on Jack's lips. "Then" - and with this the smile vanished – "there was the fire and Mary…. Since then, John was barely the same person anymore…but he was still the big brother I'd known all my life." Every single second of his past flashed before him and all were so vivid as if they had only happened yesterday.

"So what secluded you from each other?" Sam found the guts to ask without throwing up. The truth was shocking he thought he was going to pass out anytime soon. What people said about the truth being painful…yeah! They were right!

His eyes on Sam, Jack gave the boy a pleading look and murmured "That is one thing son I beg you not to ask me…" because he couldn't stand the unbearable pain that threatened to pierce that one truth. He took two decades to suck up the pain and to forget, he was not going to start bringing it all up again.

"What have I done you hated me that much?" Dean asked all of a sudden.

Sam shot a quizzical glare at Dean. There was so much hurt in Dean's eyes and it hurt him more that he couldn't figure out what was hurting his big brother.

"Excuse me?" Jack couldn't make out Dean's words. "Dean, I never could hate you."

Dean snorted. "Then why you shut me off?"

Jack inhaled a deep breath. He knew that one would come out sooner or later.

Dean put a hand to his chest, where his heart was thumping viciously. "If you never hated me…why did you ask me to leave?"

"Sam…can you leave us alone for a while?" Jack requested, as gentle as he could, fearing one harsh word would imply an unwanted impression on the youngest Winchester – one thing he didn't need right now was a hurt youngest son. "I need to talk to your brother."

Sam gave Dean a sidelong glance, unsure whether he should leave. He waited for Dean to give him a signal, to ask him to stay. But Dean nodded slightly, agreeing with Jack. Sam's heart ached – feeling alone all of a sudden. However, when Dean gave his hand a slight squeeze, Sam knew. His brother was trying to protect him – not from any harm, but from his emotional outbreak.

He had always looked up to his big brother as his hero. To him, Dean was the strongest and the bravest man in this world. Maybe that was the thing Dean was trying to protect – his image as the awesome big brother in his little brother's eyes. 'Dean, you're such a fool. Though I look up to you, though I adore your strength, I am aware you are still human.' But Sam decided to let it be for now.

Letting his shoulders drop, Sam rose up to his feet. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," he murmured before shuffling away hesitantly towards the kitchen. Giving his brother one last look, one last hope that Dean would call him to sit down, Sam released a deep breath when he saw Dean didn't even turn in his direction. Dean was not going to call…his stoic big brother had made his decision.

But it occurred to Sam that he didn't want to stay behind himself. After what he had found out, he was not sure he would be willing to listen to more. It was too much revelation for one night. He was not ready yet for another painful truth – perhaps later, but not now.

…………………………..

Jack raised his gaze to Dean and sighed seeing the young man was avoiding his eyes. He would give anything to have Dean look at him with the same loving eyes he had for Jack when he was his Deannie. But he knew it could never happen, at least not for the time being. The kid's eyes now were filled with frustration and anger of being failed by people he used to call family.

Dean shouldn't be blamed for feeling this way. He had the right to be angry for being the victim of his old men's foolishness. How could he understand what they had been through? He was just six when that 'thing' happened between him and John.

"How long did you know?" Jack started the conversation awkwardly.

"The first time I saw you," was uttered with a slight tremor.

Biting his lips hard, Jack nodded absentmindedly. Deep inside he thanked Dean for not lashing everything out the moment they met or else things would have gotten worse beyond repair.

"Son…"

Jack was stopped dead at his track when Dean put up a hand. "No!" He said, shaking his head frantically. "Don't!" Dean was not ready to be called son again – not yet. It was not easy to simply forgive and forget.

Seeing the gesture made Jack's heart skip a beat. There was a big lump in his chest, choking him, making it hard for him to breathe. He blinked back tears before he finally said "I'm really sorry Dean…I am."

Dean didn't say a word and the silence was killing Jack.

"I would give anything to turn back time…to correct what I've, 'we' have done wrong ." Jack continued. "I am selfish, God! I know I am…but what was done is done and I couldn't do anything to change it." There was no use for apologies. No sorry could mend the young man's broken heart.

"I'm sorry that you, Sammy, Kyle and Matt were punished for our mistakes." Jack didn't even know what he was saying. "My brother and me…we're two stubborn asses, idiots, and look what happened to us?" He realized he and John were guilty for two sins – of alienating each other and the boys, and of keeping their family ties a secret. What was more sinful than denying their sons' right to have a family?

But Jack was aware he sinned more towards Dean. He had ripped away the kid's rights as his godson. He broke the promises he made when Dean was born – the promise to protect him, to always look out for him and to love him.

"I was too furious of your dad…I was not thinking straight back then." Jack rubbed his neck, feeling achy all over all of a sudden. The fatigue and the anxiety of the last two days – watching his godson fighting death – were all coming back to him. "When I realized my mistake…I was too chicken to make things right."

"One call would have changed everything…" Dean murmured. The loss he felt when Jack abandoned him was so deep it felt like it was yesterday. When mom died, dad was not himself anymore. His old man was obsessed and lost in his own world of revenge. Dean was left to deal with his own pain and suffering until he shared it with his uncle Jackie. Only then he felt like a kid again. So when Jack dismissed him from his life, his world was torn to shreds. "I waited for you to call."

The words pierced into Jack like knives. "I tried…but I couldn't." He sobbed. "God knows how hard I tried."

"When Dad died…you were not there, and you said you are brothers." Dean accused.

"And I still haven't forgiven myself." To have John's death being used against him made Jack feel like puking. He took years to get over the fact he was not able to save John, that he was not there when John died, that he didn't had the chance to tell his big brother that he loved him despite the things happened between the two of them.

"What happened between the two of you that you weren't able to forgive him at all?" Dean asked, he tried to understand – he truly did. But he just couldn't. "He was your brother," and Dean cringed at his choice of words.

"He still is." Jack corrected. Nothing could tear him apart from his brother, not even death. They might have parted into separate ways, but deep inside they had never forgotten that they were brothers. Blood after all was thicker than water.

Jack inhaled deeply and let out a tired sigh. "What happened then is best to be left untold…we were both fools, not thinking at all and lost to our own fury and vengeance."

Finally Dean's eyes fell on Jack, looking at him so intensely Jack had to retreat. The older man cleared his throat and said "I know it's not easy…but give me one last chance to make things right, to redeem myself and your Dad, my brother."

"It's not easy to simply forgive and forget."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me…forgive us or to forget what we did…I'm asking you to give us a chance."

Dean fell silent again. But this time, his face didn't show emptiness but he seemed to be deep in thought instead. "It may take forever."

"Then forever it will be." Nothing was going to hold him back. If forever it would take for him to redeem himself, then he would fight endlessly till the day he died. He owed that much to Dean and to his big brother, John Winchester. If John didn't get the chance to mend anything, then he would do it for the both of them. That was the least he could do for John – as his atonement for the wrongs he had committed against his brother.

"I do hope you realized that it's not only me you owe the explanation." Dean was already up on his feet.

'Shit!'. When he said he had a lot of explanation to do, he'd been thinking only of the Winchesters. He had completely forgotten his own boys – his oldest especially, who deserved the same amount of explanation he had given Dean and Sam. The boy deserved the same amount of apologies.

It was not only Sam who woke at night screaming Jenny's and Kyle's name. Sam was not alone in missing his playmate. Jack had been through hell after Jenny's death, caring for Kyle who remembered more than he was supposed to. His nights were never quiet, not when Kyle was screaming on the top his lungs calling for not only his mom but also for Dean and Sammy, not when the little boy crept from one room to another looking for his brothers, his playmates and not when the little boy's face fell when he couldn't find them.

The feeling dawning on Jack as he watched Kyle grow up thinking Dean and Sam were his imaginary brothers was agonizing enough, and for him to say nothing about the truth Jack sincerely thought he was the one who should go to hell, not John.

Jack was overwhelmed with guilt and was lost in his thoughts when Dean left him alone to go to the kitchen.

…………………………….

The truth hit Kyle like a lightning bolt. His appetite was going into the drain and he felt a violent wrenching on his gut that made him gag. The thoughts clouding his mind were not helping with the nausea.

"Dad…you're kidding right?" Matt cut the eerie silence at the dining table. What was supposed to be a big feast celebrating a grand triumph had turned into something that resembled the Last Supper – an atmosphere that was filled with so much tense and misery, it felt like death.

Jack sighed. The question felt like déjà vu. "No Matt." He had long stopped eating.

In fact everybody at the table had stopped eating, even Bobby. The man looked as cold as ice, pretending not to listen. But Jack could tell the 'You deserved it!' look reigning on Bobby's face anytime. His old friend was silently threatening him to make things right. Jack nearly felt the infamous deadly Singer's punch on his jaw if he were to back away now.

Matt gave the Winchester brothers a sidelong glance. It was unbelievable, thrilling at the same time, that during the last seconds the brothers were complete strangers to him and the next they were his family, his cousins. They really had a connection after all. That explained the attachment he felt in the presence of Dean and Sam.

"And you took this long to tell the truth?" Pushing away his plate, Kyle glared at his old man. He didn't retreat his gaze like he used to do when his eyes met his father's. "What if we never found them in the forest?"

"Kyle…"

"Then maybe we never learned the truth."

"Kyle…please."

Jack was tired of the accusations tossed on him. He knew he deserved all the accusation and the anger, but he had had too much and a little bit more would bring him to the edge.

Kyle chuckled grimly, shook his head and fell quiet. "I can't believe it dad…after all these years you've been keeping it to yourself." He couldn't stop. It was just unfair.

"Son, I don't need this right now."

"The secrets you kept…how can you still call us your sons?" Kyle stood, gave Dean, Sam and Matt – his brothers - a wry glance. He was thrilled, yes. But to think that he was denied the right to have a family was too painful he couldn't simply give Dean and Sam a hug. He managed a tight curl of his lips before it slipped and left through the backdoor, leaving everything behind.

Jack pretended he didn't see it and continued eating, though he tasted nothing but bitterness.

"Kyle?" Matt was rousing to his feet but Sam caught him by the arm and sat him back down. He looked at the youngest Winchester questioningly, almost irately. This was the moment Kyle needed him the most and he was silently told not to meet his brother's need. What the hell?

"Leave him alone for a while…you can talk to him later." As much as he knew Dean, Sam knew Kyle Callahan like the back of his hand. When it came to dealing with big brothers like Dean and Kyle, he was aware of what button to push and when was the right time to push it.

Seeing the sincerity in the hazel eyes, Matt sat down. Maybe Sam was right. The pressure was too hard, maybe oppressing for Kyle. Learning the truth was never easy, not when it tended to scratch your already bruised heart.

Sam looked over at Dean, who was quiet like a statue. His brother's face held a dark shade that added to his already sunken features. Dean was eating quietly, almost automatically, but his plate didn't seem to get empty.

The oldest Winchester had been quiet the whole time Jack was repeating the truth about him and John being brothers. Sam was enthralled, he was. To realize that they still had someone other than Bobby to be called family – from a real blood tie – was fascinating. It was thrilling to know that at one aspect, they were normal – they had relatives, people that felt so much like home.

But to see the pain on Dean's and Kyle's face was devastating. They both showed total dejection, the pain of being rejected. One was ripped apart from his privilege of being a son, and the other was given no trust of handling the truth from a person he trusted the most. Or maybe they were suffering both. What could be more painful than that?

Sam sighed. They would be having a rough night – maybe even rougher than the nights before.

TBC

a/n: Well, did I say something about this chapter is going to be the last? Apparently it wasn't. Sorry the story didn't finish here. Everything couldn't seem to fit in one chappie, so I might as well write another one and end it with an epilogue if that was okay with you. Hope you enjoy reading! And a review would be nice *grins*