Thanks to Atomic Fire, Zaratan, JPMod, Ultimate Naco Topping, cpneb, calamite, Amarin Rose, conan98002, spectre666, Meca Vegeta, daywalkr82, The Halfa Wannabe, Josh84, Comet Moon, TexasDad, Chris Redfield-General Chao, Daeron Blackoak, FAH3, TAZER ZERO, Quathis, Whisper from the Shadows, Yuri Sisteble, whitem, Uru Baen, smlunatick, Yankee Bard, Molloy, US.Steele, campy, Joe Stoppinghem, surforst, and kim's 1 fan for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Thanks, as always, to campy for proofreading.

Leave a review and a reply will be beamed to your email box!

If you saw it on KP, it belongs to Disney; TNG, its Paramount's.

I.

"Kim? KP?" a befuddled Ron said as he tapped his comm badge to no avail. The one-eyed chef and captain's husband and sidekick in saving the universe had a really bad feeling.

He tapped his badge again. "Stoppable to Tanaka."

"Tanaka here."

"Yori, we've got a problem," Ron said. "Kim's missing."

"What do you mean?" Enterprise's security chief said. "I just saw the captain go into her ready room."

"Well, I was talking to her," Ron said, his unease growing, "and she just cut out."

"Stoppable-san, perhaps her badge failed," Yori observed.

"Yeah, maybe," Ron said dubiously before adding, "Hey, would you mind checking, you know, just to be sure?"

"Not at all," Yori said. "I will contact you in a moment."

Yori ended the communication, then turned and approached the door to Kim's ready room. She pressed the chime, once, twice, three times. When she still received no response, she opened the door and entered the captain's sanctuary.

The security officer walked in and found nothing save some scattered padds on the desk. Before she could press her comm badge to contact Ron or raise an alert, she found herself standing in the galley, facing an agitated Ron, who was dressed in his chef's gear.

"Oh man, not Q again …" the tow-headed chef complained.

A moment after Yori's arrival, a bright flash filled the galley. Q, as was his wont, was wearing a captain's uniform.

"You know," said the omnipotent being, "maybe Rondo here should be in charge of security and Yori should be the cook. He knew something was off right from the get-go."

"Okay, dude, what did you do with Kim?" Ron demanded.

"Why are you accusing little old moi of doing anything?" Q said with a pout. "There are all sorts of nasty aliens who would like to get their hands on your precious KP."

Ron grabbed Q by the front of his duty jacket. "First, don't you ever call her that again, got it?" Ron growled.

"Let me go," Q whined. "I just had this pressed."

Ron responded by slamming Q into a refrigeration unit.

"Second, bring her back," he growled. "Now."

"Or what?" Q said. "You won't make me any more lobster risotto?"

"You don't want to know, dude," Ron said coldly.

Q chuckled. "A mortal. Threatening me. How pathetic. You know—oww!"

Ron, who'd just slammed Q into the refrigerator a second time, was breathing heavily.

"Bully me all you want Stoppable. It won't make a difference," Q said. "Besides, you should be happy: she's in a far better place."

"What do you mean?" a thoroughly confused Ron asked.

"You humans really are slow, aren't you?" Q asked. "You don't have to answer that, Stoppable; it was a rhetorical question." The omnipotent being paused, then said, "She's dead."

"What!" Ron exclaimed.

"You know, gone to her Maker, crossed over, passed away."

"I know what dead means!" an enraged Ron bellowed. He let go of Q and stumbled backwards, trying to assimilate what he'd just been told. Kim. Dead?

"Why?" he finally managed to croak.

"Well, it was April Fool's Day and things had been getting dull in the Continuum, so I thought a little prank was in order. 'What's a little joke between friends?' I asked myself. The punch-line, which involved Kimberly, was really quite amusing," Q said with a smile before he frowned. "You should have seen the expression on her face when I told her what was going to happen …"

Ron stared at Q in slack-jawed disbelief.

"… Okay, I'll admit, I really didn't give much thought to what was going to happen next."

"You didn't give much thought?" an incredulous Ron stammered before he jumped Q. "I'm going to kill you, you—"

Yori, seeing that Ron was indeed ready to do what he'd just threatened, grabbed onto Ron and pulled him off Q.

"Stoppable-san, calm down," the security chief said as she restrained his arms.

"Calm down?" he yelled. "This all-powerful freak killed my wife and you want me to calm down? Are you nuts?"

"Stoppable-san," she said reasonably, "it will not help the situation if Q does to you what he has done to Kim-sama."

"She's right, Ronnie," Q said as he adjusted his uniform. "You really don't want to go down that road …"

"Why not?" Ron said lifelessly as his shoulders sagged. "Kim's … dead."

"Stoppable-san, do not speak that way," Yori chided. "What of the twins?"

"Oh man. This is so not fair," Ron moaned as he contemplated the two toddlers growing up without their mother.

"Now here's how I see things – how would you put it? – going down," Q said. "My first option is to do nothing and leave Kimbo in Valhalla. You could do a lot worse than Yori here, Rondo" Q observed as he cast an approving glance her way. "My second option: I could just bring Captain Kimmie back, but that really wouldn't be any fun." Q scratched his chin, then brightened. "Of course, there's a third option …"

The omnipotent being's eyes twinkled and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"… Oh, this is going to be good!" the omnipotent being said as he snapped his fingers, causing Ron to disappear in a flash.

"What have you done?" Yori demanded.

"Sent them on the ride of their lives," Q said with an impish smile. "Ta ta, ma chère," the omnipotent being added before he, too, vanished in a burst of light, leaving Yori alone in the galley.

To Be Continued

in

The Naco On The Edge of Forever

Coming Soon!