Chapter 7

1 year later

Fang POV

I stare at the sky and try to forget again. Try to pretend. I'm usually so good at this during the day, when I have to be strong. But now it doesn't come. I don't have the energy any more.

I keep replaying it in my head. It's crystal clear, burned in to my memory.

The rescue, the flight down the corridors, the doors closing down over the rest of the flock. Me and Max running. Us seeing sky and beginning to hope. Me putting on speed, the need to escape overruling all other needs: Like checking on Max. The most stupid mistake I have ever made .

At this point I always try to stop myself. I lock the truth out and try to forget. To pretend that that need hadn't overcome me. That I had been beside her when the brain attack happened and she fell screaming to agony to the floor. That I had been able to scoop her up in my arms and keep on running. That I had snapped out my wings and carried us both to safety. That I had sat beside her like I had done a thousand times before and held her until the screaming stopped, the moans faded away and she opened those gorgeous eyes and looked at me with the trust that was always there when she found that she had survived the attack and that she was safe. I like to pretend she was happy that I was holding her.

But I can't pretend for long. At night the nightmares come and play out what really happened. Me hearing her scream, trying to stop but I'm too far away and I'm going too fast so I skid. As I'm gliding along the floor I glance back and see Max on the floor with flyboys running up to her and screaming in agony, clearly having a brain attack. But I can't stop. I'm still going I can't turn around to help her. And in the middle of the attack she looks up and sees me. I can only imagine what it must look like, me sliding away out it to the sky, leaving her. I try to stop and this time I succeed. I'm standing still in the middle of the corridor and look back again. The flyboys are closing in but Max is still looking at me, this time with some hope. But I hesitate. To the one side there is Max, the one girl that I have ever loved, but to the other is freedom. Usually this would be a no brainer but I know the flock is out there and Angel still doesn't remember any of us. The flock needs a leader and someone to help them. Plus if we are on the outside I can help them plan to get back in. I'm torn with what I want to do, help Max, and what I think is best for the flock. So I hesitate.

And another look of pain flashes across her face, but this time it's more intense and I just know that I have caused that. Then there's a door falling from the ceiling of the corridor that we are in. Sealing me off from he: me out in the open and her trapped with the flyboys in the school in agony. Now I know that I have to help her, the hesitation before was stupid, a moments weakness. But I can't get to her now. And I try to yell to her "I won't leave you, I'll come back" to leave her with something, anything that will reassure her that I'm not abandoning her, but I don't think she hears me, coz the steel door has just shut down completely. And I'm stuck on one side and she's on the other.

That's usually the point where I wake up in a cold sweat feeling terrified and alone. I used to yell out when I woke up but that scarred the little kids so I subconsciously stopped. That's what's just happened. The memory of the nightmare is still there. And now I'm awake and I can't pretend, I don't have the strength. So I just let the memory take me. This is always the clinching part, the icing on the cake for the God up there who wants to make me suffer.

I have to break the news to the flock. I land on the cliff ledge where we agreed wed meet if something went wrong and we got spilt up. All their faces are turned towards me in joy at the rescue and escape that they think that we have pulled off. Angel seems to be herself again and is running round with total in joy at her new freedom. Then they see me. Their faces light up with even more intense joy as I come down, still there till I land. Then they are wiped off as they realise something is wrong, there's only one bird kid coming home. And comprehension dawns on Angels face as she sees what happened in my mind. The others are looking horrified and on the verge of tears. But its Iggs comment that sends me over the edge.

"What did you do!?"

And I can't hold it in anymore coz I know that it's my fault that she's there, in that awful place, have unimaginable things done to her. I start to cry. And in between sobs I stout out the answer to Iggys question. "Nothing. I stood there and did nothing"

Closing my eyes I cry silently to myself.

The next day

Nudge POV

I was still fuming from that news article and press piece. "Flock declares that it's "never been better"". I knew the tabloids lied but that was taking it a bit far. We had never been further from fine. Angel hadn't smiled for weeks, I'm almost silent with occasional long comment, Iggys cooking had gone steadily downhill, Gazzy hadn't built a bomb in months and Fang....Well Fang had lapsed in to complete silence most of the time. If he needed to talk to the flock he got Angel to tell us in our heads, though she was still recovering, even 1 year on. Sometimes if he was in a good mood (or as good of a mood as he could be in) he might say something along the lines of "Lets land here for the night" or "changing direction, due west" or mostly in times of panic "Flyboys U and A". Life without a leader is hard. No scratch that. That doesn't come anywhere close to describing us. Life without Max is devastating.

"Iggy..If it not too much bother...I'm hungry" I asked hesitantly. Yeah I know Iggys kind of the leader now. We all thought that Fang would take up that post after...well anyway; we all thought that he would fill the hole that Max had left.

But he had closed in on himself. He didn't talk for 2 months straight, and when he did start to talk again, it was because Angel had said that she couldn't stand losing both Max and Fang. That had brought him back sharply.

"I know Nudge, we all are honey. In half an hour we'll see if we can find a fast food joint. Sound good enough?"

"Sure..." I replied dully. I had hoped that if I said I was hungry then Iggy would have caved and decided to cook. He hadn't cooked us anything in months. He rarely cooks at all now. He says that it reminds him of Max too much, of her and her awful cooking.

I can understand that. I guess I'll have to wait to get some food.

Later that night

Fang POV

I could see a clearing down below that had a campfire in. Campers? At this time of the year? I motioned silently for the flock to follow me down. We glided closer and closer. Now I could smell the food on the wind. They had cooked on the fire? Wasn't there some type of machine that did that for you now. We landed slightly to the north of the clearing and headed silently towards it. If these were campers then their food wasn't going to be cooking for much longer. I hadn't fed the kids in almost a day, so they desperately needed food.

I checked out the clearing once to make sure that we were safe. Just a guy with his girlfriend, out on a camping trip. Probably their anniversary or something. I felt my heart clench when I thought of me and Max. Would we have been like this now if......?

I pulled myself away from that particular track as we needed food fast plus it was just too painful. Stepping out of the bushes I signalled the flock to help themselves o the food. God there was leads! How long was the guy going to keep the girl up here for? Didn't really care enough to go ask him.

We all started eating,, very noisily I might add, when a male voice suddenly asked

"How did you get up here? And what are you doing with our food!?"

I turned towards the guy that I had assumed was sleeping. Turns out he was on watch. How had I missed that? I used to be so good at reading people.

"If your starving you can help yourselves, we have plenty more, but you have to answer my first question. How did you get up here?"

I froze in shock. He was letting us eat his food. I gave him a once over. He looked around 16, with light brown hair that was way too long and got in his eyes. He was dressed in denim mostly with a white shirt that hinted at strong arms. Was he a body builder or something? The girl was at his side, clearly deep asleep, with her head turned in to his side, her sandy blond hair falling over her face obscuring her features. He had one arm securely wrapped around her, holding her to his side. It was obvious from this that he really cared about her. But her arms were across her and at her side. Maybe that feeling wasn't returned...?

I was about to ask him why he was offering us this when I was interrupted by Iggy.

"No thank you, I thing we need to be going"

I looked at him in shock. We were all starving, and this guy had just offered us food. I agreed that we should check him out first but not that we should refuse his offer. Iggy looked tense and worried. He was casting glances that the boy and looking...was it possible...scarred? I turned on him.

"We are hungry and this is the best offer that I can see "

He turned back to face me looking annoyed. He's hardly talked to me since we lost Max. I think he blames me partly for losing her.

"I think we should get out of here right now" He whispered to me, looking annoyed that he was having to explain it to me.

"Give me one good reason" I snarled back

"His heartbeat is way too fast. Can't you hear it? It's about as fast as ours!"

That threw me. Even in times of panic, like waking up to a group of teenagers stealing your food in the middle of the night, no human heartbeat should be anywhere near ours. He, therefore, must not be human.