The Betrayal
Steel grey eyes burned into the ceiling above her, cursing herself for the control she had steadily lost over the years. How could I do this to myself again? You would fucking think I would have had enough the first time it happened, much less the last. Soi peered down her chest at the sleeping figure wrapped around her, bare skin on bare skin, the only source of heat in the depth of the winter night. She shifted her body enough to assess the damage from last night. Her fears confirmed, every muscle ached, every bite mark and bruise still felt fresh, and she could have sworn she reopened skin again as she wiggled against the mattress.
Last night had been a savage one as they took out their frustrations on each other—or rather—Soi took out her frustrations on Yoruichi and the dark goddess had only returned the favor, thinking it was another one of her games. She hated the woman that slept on top of her with such a passion, but what ever negative feelings that she held for her was matched, ten-fold, with dedication and devotion. Soi didn't understand how or why Yoruichi had insisted on hurting Soi so much, even if she wasn't aware that her way of life had broken Soi into millions of pieces, she had no excuse. She led a selfish and greedy behavior, disregarding any emotional or psychological anguish she may have made along the way.
But Soi couldn't just easily walk away from her—from this. She needed Yoruichi in her life. She could hardly breathe or function without thinking about her, about what she was doing, what or who she was thinking about, her smile, her laugh, the way her skin would glisten after her and Soi's vicious or sensuous time spent together, the way her hands felt on her body, her lips, her…everything. But, then again, Soi took pride and comfort in the obsession and the way Yoruichi always came back sooner or later when she wanted to play. Because, deep down, she knew that, even to the most minuet extent, Yoruichi felt the same way, or she wouldn't pay her these intense visits.
Soi didn't know when it had gotten this far, past the point of no return, but they had gotten there before Soi could effectively think the situation through. Their first time, one on one, their first conversation had run deeper than Soi thought words could go. She hadn't realized the fervor of Yoruichi and how dedicated the older girl could get if she tried and…how cunning she was. Yoruichi was a lot smarter than people gave her credit for. After all—it took a lot of hard work to be able to surf through life doing whatever—and whoever—she wanted at a moments notice. You were just lucky enough if you had gotten the chance to go along with her, but Soi—on the other hand—never really took much comfort in that fact.
Soi slid out from the dark goddess' grasp, stopping only to wipe the drool that had accumulated on her stomach. Turning back, she caught sight of the most angelic vision she had seen in a very very long time. Yoruichi was tangled into the single bedspread, un-tucked from the mattress, which had survived last night's abuse; all the others were in a pile (along with a pathetic pile of shredded clothes) on the floor.
Her dark legs were exposed, shinning with perspiration in the golden brilliance of the dawn that filled the room from top to bottom. The supple curve of her hip dipped down and back up, but the rest of the view was blocked by the stubborn cloth, earning a heated growl from Soi. She painfully pulled her eyes past and up to Yoruichi's sweetly slumbering face, nestled into the crook of her arm. But… it wasn't as "sweet" as Soi had anticipated it to be. Yoruichi's nails were steadily digging into the worn fabric, her brow furrowed and her free arm moving, ever so slightly, up and down the spot where Soi once was.
"Oh… kitten…" Soi cooed, making her way towards her sleeping lover. She bent down, half expecting Yoruichi to leap up and pull Soi down with her playfully, and began to smooth out the wrinkles in the soft, tan flesh as she had done years ago. "When the hell did you become so helpless, eh?" Soi pulled Yoruichi to her again, slipping beneath her as she did so. The bathroom could wait. The perfect dream that Soi had found herself in once again because of Yoruichi couldn't. In fact, they had a habit of dying off as quickly and as unexpectedly as they had come.
Soi nuzzled her chin against Yoruichi's hair, drifting off into another dreamless sleep, waiting for something to disrupt their happiness… again.
"I promise, doll, I'll be here when you wake up." Soi mumbled into the silence.
Six Years Ago...
"See…?"A young and still breath taking Yoruichi sighed, obviously content and satisfied. She gazed up at Soi who was perched above her, her short braids tickling her face, her neck, her chest, stirring her from a peaceful slumber. "I told you I'd be here when you woke up." Yoruichi ran her hands up and down Soi's sides slowly, raising goose-bumps on her flawless skin.
"Well…" A shiver burst through Soi's body despite her sad attempts to conceal it. "You didn't have much of a choice. You do live here, you know." She replaced her teasing braids with a pair of knowing lips that teased her lover lazily.
"But I didn't have to sleep in your bed, now did I?" Yoruichi purred, pulling Soi against her body, dragging her teeth along the sensitive skin of her neck. "Well… there wasn't a lot of sleeping going on in your bed anyway, eh?"
Soi's mind went back to the night before as she relaxed against her roommate, cursing the sun that gave them no warning that their incredible night together was coming to an end, thinking back on what was said between the two in the heat of the moment—or rather—what wasn't said. It had been at least three weeks since she had confessed her feelings for Yoruichi and, though she didn't expect her to return the phrase immediately, she thought she would see some sort of improvement by the end of the month. But that was not to be. Using the tips of her fingers to lightly trace random designs across the cool flesh of Yoruichi's flat stomach, Soi thought and re-thought about there future together, if there even was going to be one, if this had all been a huge mistake, if Yoruichi had taken what she had said seriously—exhausting her mind and her soul. Her restless deliberation came to an abrupt end, broken by Yoruichi's gentle voice.
"…Soooi… You're buzzing again."
"Yeah, just…thinking." Soi replied in an unsure tone.
"Uh-oh…That's not as comforting as you thought it would be, Soi" Yoruichi teased once more, but was at a loss when she received no reply; neither a giggle nor a moan. She shifted beneath her alabaster lover, changing her position so she was able to stare down at her little bee while keeping a comforting arm tight around her slim waist. "Soi…talk to me, love." Soi melted when those sweet words reached her ears, but still refused to speak. She only pushed her face into the tender hand calmly stroking her cheek.
Soi let her steel grey eyes hide behind her falling lids as she felt her dark lover stoop down, her hot breath bathing Soi's thin neck. She was taken back, startled, when Yoruichi whispered heatedly in her ear. "Stop over thinking it. If you don't know by now I think I'm doing something wrong."
"W-what do…. you m-mean…Yoruichi?" Soi gasped, finding it difficult to remain focused with Yoruichi's lips so close.
"I love you… my little bee…" Yoruichi's lips attached themselves to that oh-so-glorious spot on her bee's neck, caressing it, biting it, making the younger girl beneath her moan and squirm, and wildly grinding herself against the older woman. "What?' Yoruichi giggled pulling back from the very disappointed Soi. "Does that make you…happy?" Soi pulled her back down, devouring her with a blood curdling kiss, sliding her tongue passed grinning lips and exploring the eager mouth above her violently.
When they departed for breath, Yoruichi asked in a shaky voice: "D-did you really think…otherwise?" Her toothy grin made itself known when a thick blush crossed over Soi's milky cheeks, nodding slowly."Oh, Soi…you don't ever have to worry about that. After all... I am your angel, right?" Yoruichi tilted her head to the framed and colored portrayal of her slumbering body and her angelic wings.
"Mine..." Soi whispered, running a crooked finger through Yoruichi's tangled hair, tears filling her dark eyes. "…mine."
"Yes. Now if you would be so kind as to stop crying and finish what you started. Not everyone can do this to me." A sly grin was plastered sloppily over Soi's features as she slid a nee up suddenly between Yoruichi's legs, watching her golden eyes widen in shock then her pupils in pleasure. Soi slid herself down Yoruichi's bare body, leaving bite marks and hickeys wherever she pleased—after all—Yoruichi was hers. The goddess' arms shook as the held both Yoruichi and Soi's clinging body from the mattress. She finally collapsed, rolling on her back, taking her bee with her.
"U-ugh. S-Soi…" She had replaced her knee with her long, slim fingers, lightly teasing the dark nether lips bellow, almost overwhelmed by how slick they had gotten just by her actions. Soi pushed harshly on the saturated lips, causing Yoruichi to gasp, grinding against her lover's hand, practically begging for more, but Soi wasn't about to relinquish control just yet. Her teeth soon found a swollen nipple as she rolled it between her lips, swirling her tongue around it, leaning back to blow on the wet skin. Little Bee's touch became lighter and lighter and Yoruichi finally growled, "Soi! You tease!" She placed a tan hand on Soi's, guiding it, urging it, feeling Soi's nimble fingers slip past her entrance.
"Salt! Sweat! Sugar on the asphalt! Our hearts littering the topsoil!"
"Fuck me!" Yoruichi jumped from under Soi and leapt for her singing phone.
"I was trying!" Soi—just as frustrated—fell back on the bed, defeated, but still somehow distracted by the goddess that fluttered around the room. She really is an angel isn't she, Soi thought to herself, resting her head on her elbow, a toothy grin wiping across her face. A sense of…pride filled her, from head to toe, positively brimming with contentment and bliss. She could say with certainty that she had never—nor will she ever again—feel a love this intense again; a love that completely consumed her. She was completely comfortable with the thought of Yoruichi being with her, beside her, even under her at times, for the rest of their natural born lives.
When Yoruichi finally found her phone and flipped it open, grin on her face by the sight before her, she suddenly found it extremely difficult to talk. She watched, nearly drooling, as she watched Soi erotically lick her fingers that were still glistening from Yoruichi's excitement from only seconds before. At last, Soi heard a voice hum on the other end of the line, apparently overhearing Yoruichi's labored breathing. The little bee found humor in her antics, reveling in the affect that she finally had on her goddess. But, suddenly, every enticing emotion fell from the dark woman's face as she gazed dumbly at her naked lover
She soon started to frantically search for clothes that weren't wrinkled or…otherwise soiled. It started to see Soi's angel in such frenzy, terrified even by something that Soi wasn't aware of. She strained her ears to listen to Yoruichi's incoherent ramblings, desperate to understand.
"Y-yes…no no I'm not doing anything important…yeah. No I didn't forget, have faith, will you...Yeah, yeah… Oh… now? Umm ok. Sure. I need to get dressed though... yeah, see you then." Yoruichi quickly flipped the phone closed and slung it across the room, yanking three-day-old shorts over her lengthy tan legs.
"Y-Yoruichi? So…am I not important?" Soi asked, slightly embarrassed, feeling the need to cover herself.
"What do you mean, little bee?" She dug through the pile of clothes more violently before becoming frustrated and surfing through Soi's draws. Soon, though, she was hit in the head with a bra thrown by her bee, eliciting a giggle from her before she strapped it across her torso.
"You said you weren't doing anything important. You were doing me Yoruichi. Am I not important?" Soi reached for her oversized tee shirt she always wore to bed and…always laughed over as Yoruichi struggled to get it off of her, nearly ripping it in half sometimes.
"Soi… not now, you know what I meant." Yoruichi growled tossing Soi a pair of shorts that her crumpled carelessly in the corner.
"No… not really, but it feels like your not going to explain it so…"
"You're gonna drop it?" Yoruichi asked hopefully, pulling one of Soi's tank top's over her head. It only reached over her gracious breasts and down to her navel, but it would have to work.
"Not what I said." Yoruichi felt strong, but frail arms wrap around her waist and a chin rest lightly on her shoulder. "What did I do?" Yoruichi relaxed into the touch that was offered, becoming lost in the embrace that she had become almost dependent on.
"You…didn't do anything… Soi…I just… I have to go meet a friend today. He's back in town and—"
"He?" Soi's lips brushed against the perspiring flesh of Yoruichi's thin neck, causing the older girl's head to reel back, her forehead pressing against her possessor.
"Yes: he. Don't worry Soi. Remember? I love you. I always will." She felt the younger girl nod against her, but her grip tightened. Soi felt as if she would loose Yoruichi if she let go, loose her forever. Was she truly enough to make her stay? What did she have to do to make Yoruichi see how devoted she was to her? She would give her life away willingly and eagerly for Yoruichi's happiness. Soi's rambling mind came to a halt by a hard knock on the door.
As anticipated, Yoruichi flew from Soi's arms and to the door. She was left standing in the middle of the room, suddenly alone and cold. She wrapped her arms around herself gingerly as she witnessed a tall, dirty blond man standing before Yoruichi, enveloping her in an intimate grasp that Yoruichi did not resist from. She almost turned away… almost. Her eyes were glued to the couple, her jaw on the floor, her steel grey eyes threatening to swallow her whole head as the man caught Yoruichi's lips in his and wrapping his arms around her, greedy and hungry.
He was not as gentle as Soi was, he was not as caring. He did not immediately go for Yoruichi's magic spot; he just took, and took, and took. After what seemed to be an eternity, they finally broke apart, Yoruichi panting and clearing loving it. She turned to her soon-to-be-ex-lover with a dreamy, far off gaze that Soi thought only she could give to her. She, apparently, was mistaken.
"Soi, this is Kisuke. Kisuke…oh you get it. I gotta pee! I'll be right back." She turned from the dorm and fled to the bathroom at the end of the hall, the room saturated with a pregnant silence.
"Hi. Nice to finally meet you. She won't shut up about you, you know." Kisuke said with an outstretched hand. Soi merely stared at it—hard —as if she were attempting to make it burst into flames. Feeling the intensity of her hated, he pulled back, feeling insecure and out of place when, in reality, he was. He sensed something thick in the air, something that made him feel sleazy and grimy, something that necessarily did not radiate from the pissed woman fuming in front of him. Almost as if there was a punch line, an inside joke that he wasn't in on—or maybe—what he wasn't allowed to know.
In The Bathroom…
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!!!" Yoruichi screamed at the mirror image of herself. "Why did you let this happen? How could you let this happen? God… did you see the look in her eyes? The way her voice sounded? Fuck!" She looked up at the mirror with bloodshot eyes and tear tracks streaking her face to find—an image—not of herself. Subtly, one could see how it could have derived from the dark goddess, but the person standing on the other side of the glass had red, beady eyes, a twisted, monstrous face. Fangs came out like daggers, unable to be hidden behind her lips, which were more similar to jowls… not human. The…it stared her down and—in its gaze—she could feel her soul drop to her stomach, her heart lurch out of her chest and bile tease the back of her throat. Yoruichi found it difficult to look straight into the fiend's face.
You said you loved her, the mirror accused.
I do love her.
You told her you would always be there. That you would never hurt her. You promised to protect her; the demon slammed its crooked claw on the counter, splitting it in two.
I am! I…will be, Yoruichi whispered still unable to look at the obscene creature.
You killed her! She will never be the same!
Shut up.
You're selfish!
Shut up.
You knew every second that it couldn't be! You knew—every—single—time you held her that he would come back and take you away!
Shut. Up.
You did this to her and you don't even care! You're gonna loose her. You are a disappointment!
SHUT UP!
The monster burst into splinters of cracked silver, shards of the glass cutting into her knuckles, slicing through her silky flesh, and letting crimson beads roll down the length of her forearm.
"No... No… no… no no no." Yoruichi whispered through her tears. "She won't leave me. She can't leave me. She loves me. She loves me. She loves me. I… can't let her leave me. I won't… let her leave me." Her mind flickered back to that single moment—that soulless look in Soi's depthless grey eyes; that look of betrayal, of pure, unadulterated pain; the feeling of loneliness and foolishness. Soi deserved so much better—so much more than what Yoruichi could offer.
"But… what about me? I need someone. I have never had anyone love me… not like she does… not like she does. Why does she love me? I'm… no one. I'm… a disappointment." The evil spirit entered her mind again, an ugly sneer plastered across her gruesome face. "No! Stop it! She must love me. She must! I will make her. She has to. She…has to…"
"So… uhm… Damn, where is Yoruichi?" Kisuke shifted uncomfortably under Soi's sharp watch. He was certain that she hadn't blinked once since he stepped into the room. The only sound resonating in the uncomfortable silence was the sound of Soi's teeth grinding together, clicking shut every now and then.
How could Yoruichi love…him? Soi thought to herself, not knowing if she could turn away if she tried. He was dressed rather… disgustingly. It looked as if he hadn't changed his clothes in days, much less showered. He had this idiotic grin plastered on his face when he had walked in and enveloped Yoruichi in an anything but gentle embrace. Soi had the urge to strip down in front of him and show off the scratch marks, the bite marks, and… the rug burns and ask him if he ever had any like them on his flesh. Had Yoruichi ever marked him as hers like this? Had Yoruichi ever loved him like she loved Soi?
--------x--------
"Hey guys! What I miss?" Grateful for the interruption, Kisuke wrapped a possessive arm around his girl, pulling her close. Though she stiffened, he barely seemed to notice. "Hey do you think you could wait in the car, I gotta ask Soi a favor."
"No problem, doll. See you soon." He had leaned in for another kiss, but Yoruichi had already left his hold and was walking towards Soi—still a menacing flame burning in her irises. Slightly rejected, he turned and left them standing in the room together, Soi staring at the absence of the man, refusing to lift her eyes to meet the golden orbs that beckoned her. Finally, Soi's chin was snatched up and a pair of familiar lips—with an unfamiliar taste—crashed against hers. Soi couldn't move; as if it was the first time they kissed, she was immobile. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think and, most importantly, she couldn't push away. When Yoruichi's grip finally lightened and Soi was released, she stumbled backwards, scrambling to get away as if Yoruichi had turned into the horrible monster that seemed to dwell within her.
"S-soi…" Yoruichi had planned to walk out confident and inspiring, but seeing Soi shy aware from her and practically run, she felt her heart break in her chest.
"Save it, Yoruichi! Just… I don't want to look at you." And she didn't. She stared out the solitary window and, coincidentally, at Kisuke, faking a drum solo in his car. What did he have that she didn't? Kisuke reached down and, in the most gruesome display, shoved his hand down his jeans and—as Soi thought—scratched at one of his crabs.
Oh, yeah…that, Soi thought to herself.
Soi's thoughts were interrupted when dark hands gripped her shoulders tightly, pinning her against the wall. Her eyes widened in shock and fear as she caught hold of her lover's dark, stormy eyes as she climbed onto the bed.
"Too bad. You're looking at me now. You are going to call a friend and go out tonight and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I had no control over this." Her voice softened as she watched the pale woman's eyes glaze over in tears, the pain still evident in her foggy eyes. She lifted a hand from her beloved's shoulder and gently caressed her cheek, running the pad of her thumb over the single tear that rolled over her flawless skin.
"Hey, now." She cooed, kissing the tear away instead. "I love you." Her velvety tongue jetted out, grazing the tips of Soi's lips. She leaned in, eyes shut in bliss again, trying to catch that teasing tongue. "Are you still my little bee?" Her breath bathed Soi's lips, making her curl her body, trying to make contact with anything. Getting annoyed with the silence, knowing that Kisuke would ask questions of her absence, she pushed Soi farther up the wall, viciously massaging the spot that Soi offered so madly.
"Y-Yes! Yoruichi… yes." Yoruichi smirked, a single tooth peek out from her pearly grin, but she still wasn't satisfied.
"What was that? Are you sure we are talking about the same thing?" She pushed two fingers harder on Soi's pulsating organ.
"I'm your bee… Always, Yoruichi… always." What Soi said—thought did she pay much mind to it then—had sentenced her to a life of dedication and perseverance to Yoruichi. Soi couldn't back out of this—thing —that they had created together just as easily it had started. She had torn through the relationship with such intensity and such trust that—despite the overused cliché—she had truly fallen blind and deaf to all of her instincts.
It was a habit that Soi soon found was nearly impossible to break. It was Yoruichi. She was her drug, every minute spent with her was an hour high, every touch was another fix, and every word just fueled the need, the desire. Now, if Soi was to walk out of Yoruichi's life for her benefit—or vise versa—she was certain she would go through withdraws. She had experienced the affects of Yoruichi's absence before and like hell was she willing to go through that again.
"Mmm… Soi? Soi-bee… what's wrong?" Yoruichi stirred from her deep sleep to find her cheek wet with tears—Soi's tears. "Soi, baby. Soi!" She finally jerked Soi out of her slumber, the startled girl confused by the urgency of her lover.
"W-what's wrong, Y-Yoruichi?" Soi asked, finding it strange, the tremor in her voice. Yoruichi grinned pathetically, upset at the dreams Soi had been having, and even more troubled by the fact that it might have left her at fault. She shifted from her position in the midst of Soi's warm and tender embrace—one that she had found no other could compare to—to press her lips lightly to her treasured lover's pale forehead, letting her lips flutter there as she spoke.
"I love you, little bee. I've always loved you…and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon." She pulled the delirious woman into her arms, cradling her head to her chest, and wrapping her lengthy legs around Soi's. Eventually, the young one relaxed into the welcoming hold, encircling the older woman's waist and pulling it close to her. "I won't ever leave you, bee. I couldn't. I love you so much."
It wasn't often that Yoruichi expressed her feeling like that or ever had her light and playful tone turn grave and serious. When it did, it was nothing by the truth. Soi curled into the heat Yoruichi provided, waiting for her cell phone to ring, waiting for her to glance over at the alarm clock, waiting for a bird to drop in through the window and pluck Yoruichi from her clutches—anything—because something always interrupted times like these. These times that came few and far between where Soi was filled, top-filled with pure bliss in the presence of the only person that seemed to love her. And even if Yoruichi hadn't been by her side every second of every day, waiting to pick Soi up when she fell, Soi felt bound to Yoruichi.
Destiny, she concluded. It must have been destiny that bound them together, that made them inseparable.
Just when Soi felt her eyelids grow heavy and begin to fall while she listened to the steady hum—almost like a purr—that omitted from the dark goddess, the most awful and terrifying song burst through the silence
Salt! Sweat! Sugar on the asphalt! Our heart littering the topsoil! Tune in! And we can get the last call!
A/n: OK maybe i lied when i said that that last one was going to be my longest chapter... -looks up- chya this was a little longer. Well... I am officially loosing confidence in this story. The updates might slowm down if they havn't already. Its coming close to the end of the semester and im loosing my friggin mind. well... hopefull there will be a chapter six.
only time can tell. Thanks for reading people. much love
~From the Jungle Gym