A/N: And here is the next chapter! I'm on a writing roll... this story is so much fun to write!

That night, as Faolan slept in the Commander's tent, she had terrible dreams. In all of them, she was a werewolf, carrying a message, and she was running as fast as she could, through woods that would not change, and something, something terrible was behind her, chasing her and chasing her and gaining, ever so slowly gaining. She couldn't escape from the dream, no matter how much she tried to wake up, and she was always running, until her entire body ached and the woods were a brown and green blur. And a thing was coming, coming behind her. If and when it caught her- she would die. Faolan knew this as a fact, and so she ran, ran and ran until finally, suddenly, she ran into Raleigh.

"Carry!" he cried out as I collapsed at his feet, rolling into a ball of pain and fear. The thing chasing me was gone- he had dispelled it simply with his presence. All I could do was moan in response to him; I seemed unable to find words to form to speak to him.

"Carry…" he said, leaning down and pulling me into his arms. He was warm. And he smelled good. I wondered vaguely if he still smelled like that, back in Haven. And then I was sobbing into his arms, uncontrollably. The tears just poured out of me- like nothing before. In all my lives I could never remember ever crying so hard, so much, or so passionately.

When I was done he just held me, cradling me in his arms. For the first time we were in switched positions. I was the one with nightmares and he- he was the one who was calm. I had a sudden moment of fear- that this would send him back, back to his body in Haven and he'd leave me, leave me here alone and I cried out, "Don't leave me Raleigh!"

"I won't," he whispered into my ear, his breath warm and soft and I knew he spoke the truth, and relaxed back into his arms…

When Faolan woke, she could still feel those arms wrapped around her, and for a moment she thought he was really there- but then she realized she was still lying in that cot, with a thick fur over her. Oddly enough, despite the summer, she felt comfortably warm beneath it. Her nose twitched- an unfamiliar smell clung to the furs and she realized suddenly it was the smell of the Commander. She was in his bed.

Waking came over her very slowly, and it was a time before was able to pull her eyes open to the faint light inside the tent. It was a while longer before she could realize what she was seeing, and that was when she noticed she was ravenously hungry. Her brain still felt foggy, and she struggled to think in coherent way. The Commander wasn't in the tent- at first she thought it was empty, but then she noticed Dashiell dozing in a chair, and she remembered that he was supposed to be watching her- shielding her too. Sure enough, she realized she could feel a thin, hard shield around her mind and thoughts. She tried to touch it, but a sharp pain lanced through her head and a small gasp slipped from her lips.

This made Dashiell stir, and he peered over at her, then looked surprised to find her awake. He leapt to his feet and strode over to her, frowning down at her and saying, "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long," Faolan croaked, finding her throat dry as sand.

He reached over to somewhere Faolan couldn't see and then a skin of water was at her lips and Faolan drank, rejoicing in the feel of the lukewarm water sliding down her throat. A few times she coughed, but she kept drinking until the water was entirely gone. Then, she found she was able to sit up, though she felt weak and shaky from hunger. How long had she slept? What time of day was it?

"You've been out for a day," Dashiell commented, as if reading her mind- Faolan realized with a sudden horrible shiver that wracked her body that he could be- but no, she would have felt him. She shivered again, then looked over at him with a mixture of hatred and revulsion.

"Yesterday, very early morning, still dark, was when you fell asleep. It's a few hours after noon now… You hungry?"

Faolan stared at him in surprise- had she really been out that long? Then she nodded, realizing what he had said and he handed her a slab of meat and cheese wrapped in two slices of bread. Fao quickly ate it, ignoring her stomach's protest at so much food being thrown in after so long without. Dashiell watched her as she ate, his eyes narrowed.

"So," he said, when she was done, "Looks like you're not the Faolan we thought you were. My first mind probe didn't reveal what it should have."

"What?" Faolan said to him, peering at him through her still a bit hazy vision.

"We know everything," he drawled, sitting back down in his chair and leaning backwards, "Your mind magics are way out of control. No idea how you managed to get this far with such wild magic. Did you know the enemy was using you through it?"

He laughed, and then before Faolan could answer, said, "No, of course not. I know all, Faolan. I know you through and through. I do have a question though- did you read people's minds on purpose or did you accidentally see all their dirty secrets?"

Faolan stared at him, not sure whether or not to be shocked, embarrassed, or angry- he had to be referring to her past life memories- that she gathered from what she could remember of the discussion that had occurred before she'd been put to bed. Hadn't Dashiell said that all minds were the same? So why was he taunting her about her memories?

"Ah, never mind," Dashiell said and stood up, "I don't really care, anyway. If you can walk, I'm to take you to your new Captain. Not a Scout Captain of course, can't have you doing that anymore. You're going to the real front- and maybe you'll even get true control out of it. But if not… I don't think anyone's going to care if you die."

Faolan just continued to stare at him- but he turned away and walked across the tent then paused and looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. Faolan shot him a glare, then pulled herself into a sitting position. From there she swung her legs off the bed and stood up. For a moment the world swam around her, but then her balance came to her and she stalked after Dashiell, following him out into the camp.

He led her towards the small practice field- which was really just an area under the trees where there wasn't much undergrowth. Just leaves. Faolan could hear the clanging of steel on steel and the dull thunking thuds of metal on wood.

Before they got there however, they ran into an argument- the Commander was standing in the middle of the walkway, looking bored- and Roscoe was standing in front of him, looking livid, his face flushed red.

"FAOLAN IS NOT A SPY!" he was yelling- when he saw her and Dashiell. His face softened and he shoved past the Commander and grabbed Faolan into a hug.

"Faolan!" he yelled, "Gods- where have you been? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…" Faolan said, feeling distracted. She looked over Roscoe at the Commander. A dark glower was on his face.

When Roscoe pulled away from her the Commander said slowly, "Roscoe- from now on refrain yourself from voicing your inane opinions on matters outside your control. I think your Captain expects you."

Roscoe glared at the Commander, gave Faolan a grin, then jogged off, his shoulders clenched tightly together such that Faolan could tell he was still raging angry. Somewhere she felt glad that someone cared about her, here in this world of silver and steel.

Dashiell started to lead her past the Commander, towards the practice field, but the Commander held out a hand to stop her and said, gazing into her eyes with an unreadable expression, "Be careful Faolan."

Then he turned and walked past, leaving Faolan to wonder what those words meant. They weren't said in compassion, that was for sure. Dashiell seemed to disregard it, for he just led her on and introduced her to a young werewolf Captain that was to be in charge of her from then on. Faolan didn't really pay attention- she was still distracted… distracted sort of by life in general. Dashiell then left, but his shield stayed on her mind and she knew he was probably nearby, keeping a mental eye on her as her Captain, Brodrick, ran her through several physical exercise to test her fighting skills. Faolan's mind was only half there- but her body remembered how to fight, or so she presumed it did, because Brodrick seemed pleased with what she showed him.

OOO

It was another few days until Faolan felt fully herself again. She wasn't sure why she'd gotten so out of whack, but it happened. Faolan had a sneaking suspicion in the back of her mind that what Dashiell had done to her was something akin to rape- but she didn't think about that. For some odd reason, she couldn't really seem to get hold of Raul to tell her what had happened- their link was stretched so thin…

By the time she did manage to talk to Raul again, she was already on the front as a soldier. It was very different- Faolan had never been anything other than a Scout. It was much more… real. She was out there to find the enemy- and kill them. She hadn't done any killing yet- hadn't met any action, but she knew she would soon, and for this reason she was desperate to talk to Raul.

Unlike the scouts, as a soldier, Faolan spent half her time in human form, with human weapons- the bow and arrow to be specific. The Scouts would tell her Captain where some Valdemarens were, and they'd go track them down. So far she'd had the luck that while she was creeping around the woods, waiting for Scouts to call on them, they'd always been too far away and other groups had been the ones getting the action.

Faolan felt a bit lost and abandoned without input from Raul. Dashiell wasn't shielding her anymore- after she'd left the camp he'd taken it down, more from convenience than trust, she knew. She was also far enough from him, here on the front, that she didn't think he could keep a constant eye on what she was doing with her mind but… she was still worried. It was mind speaking that had gotten her into this mess.

As a spy, she was pretty lousy right about then. She was in no position to have any idea what was going on, and she felt fairly blind after having been in the thick of things. Dashiell had expressly ordered her not to use her gift, and to make sure she had tight shields all the time, so she was treated like just another green soldier. Her days as a fighter passed in eat, sleep, go out and trail the scouts, eat, sleep… There was no strategy, no intrigue… And Faolan didn't know what to do.

Finally, one cool evening, she was lying on her bedding, staring up at the sky between the patchy openings among the leaves of the trees above, and she felt a whisper on her mind.

She almost leapt up screaming, her mind on fire, when she realized the touch was a softer one, and she gently, carefully, fearfully, reaching out with her own mind to grab hold of it, and with relief, knew it was Raul.

:Faolan!: Raul exclaimed immediately, :What happened, Chosen? What happened?:

:I… they found me out, Raul,: Faolan said, :Sort of. They looked at what happened and realized it all pointed towards me and so… they… Dashiell… but it's okay- mostly. They're not killing me anyway. At least not directly...:

:Oh Faolan…: Raul answered, her mind voice wrapping Faolan gently- so gently that Faolan suspected Raul could sense how raw her mind was, :I told them it would put you in danger… I told them but they said if you're going to have a spy you have to use that information…:

Faolan felt a wash of guilt suddenly and she wrapped her arms around herself and said, :Raul… I hate this. I really am a werewolf and sometimes I realize what I'm doing and I feel like I'm betraying my people. The werewolves aren't the bad guys, Raul. Isn't there a better way?:

Raul was silent for a long time, but she finally answered, :There is no better way Faolan… I suppose you can't understand how much we- the Heralds, have discussed this fact, know that we know about the werewolves but the plain fact is that they've chosen to be murders, chosen to work for Karse, chosen to kill innocents for their own freedom. And because of their choice, we have to oppose them.:

Faolan heard Raul's words, and it made the pain in her heart grow worse, her mind was also starting to twinge uncomfortably from the use of mind speech, so she said, :But Raul… I am a werewolf…:

:But you're a Herald first, Faolan,: Raul reminded her, and Faolan felt she didn't quite consider this true, :Tell me what's happened, though.:

:I'm not a scout anymore,: Faolan said, glad to lapse onto a different topic, :Dashiell seems to have formed some sort of idea that my mind speech is way out of control and the Heralds have been manipulating it to gain information. They don't really trust me either, though they seem to generally believe I haven't been spying on purpose. But at least they decided not to kill me. They want me to get true control as soon as possible so I can go back to Skylar…:

Faolan felt an ache there, and thought, silently, So I can home…

:Oh Faolan- that's as good as wanting to kill you,: Raul said, :There's no way you can gain their trust again?:

:No- I don't think so,: Faolan answered, :Since they seem to think I mostly wasn't doing it on purpose and the only answer is killing me or getting me more training. Does this mean I'm not a spy anymore?:

:I don't know, Faolan,: Raul said, :I'll have to talk to the other Heralds, and the Queen- it's up to her I suppose. Maybe you can come home, Faolan.:

Faolan withdrew slightly at those words, thinking that she didn't want to go back to Haven. She wanted to go back to the Harailt pack, back to Skylar. She wanted Roscoe to get true control and come back too… She wanted to go back to playing in the woods with Taryn, and happy full moon hunts…

:Raul…: Faolan said carefully, :I want true control.:

Raul was silent at this, but she finally said, :You will get true control, Faolan… somehow. But don't think that killing our people is the only way.:

:Raul?: Faolan inquired softly, :What should I do now? I mean… they have me fighting- what do I do if I have to get into a fight with Valdemaren soldiers?:

It took Raul a long time to answer this one too, but she came up with this, :Well… I suppose the value of life is on you Faolan, as cruel as it sounds. As a spy, you're tactically worth a lot- don't say you aren't doing any spying because you still may be able to help, I don't know yet- but if it comes down to you or someone else- anyone else- pick yourself. Fight doesn't mean kill though, remember that. Know what I mean, Faolan?:

Faolan nodded, even though Raul couldn't see and then, fingering her silver-pewter wolf necklace she said, :I'll place my arrows and my claws with care, Raul. Just.. tell me what to do soon.:

:I will, love,: Raul said, then paused and added, :Remember there are people who love you Faolan. Remember that. And be strong, my Chosen.:

:I will,: Faolan answered and felt Raul slip away, leaving Faolan feeling very alone and torn between conflicting emotions. She fell into a fitful sleep, her hand clutched around the necklace that Christopher Alaska had given her.

A/N: And that's that! Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewd the last chapter!! I will also reply to those who reviewd chapter 53 here, since I didn't have time to last time I was updating.
For those who reviewed chapter 53...
Stormy Phoenix- Yeah you pretty much have captured the gist of what Faolan's going through. XD.
GinaStar-Oh... there's always a way out! ;)
LightningStorms- Yeah well... he's got a lot on his shoulders, the Commander. I'd say he has pretty good reasons to be grumpy. Also he's not a very emotional guy.
ginalee-How's this for getting rougher?
The-Elven-Bookworm- Yeah... Raul is supposed to seem a little distance, and I have been trying with Roscoe but yeah, I see what you mean. I'm kinda trying to squeeze a whole lot in a little bit of writing soo... yeah. Maybe when I make this into a not-fanfiction I will try and flesh the characters out more- this really is kind a rough draft, you know? Thank you for the feedback- I do appreciate constructive criticism!
andi- You suspect correctly!
thargor01- Thanks! I hope I don't sound too much like Lackey though since I'm trying to be a writer myself!
For those who reviewd chapter 54...
GinaStar-Well... I suppose you know a little more now, but I will let you read to find out what happens next!
thargor01- Wow, two nights! This is getting on the long side to be reading that much in two nights! I am impressed. I do that too sometimes- stay up really late reading fanfictions and then end up going to bed at like 3 in the morning... not good for sleeping patterns, that. XD.
ginalee- Is this soon enough? I'm glad Faolan seems like a real person to you- she seems like a real person to me too!
LightningStorms- I'm writing as fast as I can! XD. (Which really isn't that fast, considering how much I like writing...)