A/N: This may not be entirely edited for spelling/grammer as I have to leave in like five minutes to go babysitting! Sorry bout that.
Haven was a miniature version of Valdemar- it that is seemed deserted too. Even though it was night, there should have been people out, people in taverns… but nothing. It was quiet and lonely and had a hollow feel. All the pubs were closed- no merry singing and laughter and warm firelight came from within. Raul's hooves chimed forlornly on the cobblestones.
When they entered the palace compound and walked towards the Heraldic Collegium, past the Companion's Field, Faolan was surprised at how few white shapes she could see dotting the field. Where were all the Companions? With a sinking heart, Faolan knew. They were at war.
Three figures clad in white were standing near the front steps to the Herald's Collegium, and three white horse like shapes were standing nearby. In the darkness they all seemed to glow. Faolan felt a clutch of fear in her gut as she looked at those figures, and brought Raul's words to mind- but it quickly went away. What else had she to lose, anyway? They couldn't make Raul repudiate her, no matter what, unless Raul wanted to. And Raul had made it clear she didn't want to repudiate Fao.
"Faolan?" a voice asked as one of the figures turned to see Faolan and Raul chiming slowly towards them.
Raul stopped as Faolan slid off the Companion's back and ran over to the person who'd spoken- because she knew that voice, even though she hadn't hear it in around eight years. Strong arms embraced her and Faolan felt an old warmth spread through her. She was a lot taller since the last time she'd seen Rathmir, but the woman seemed to have changed little herself.
"You've grown," Rathmir whispered into Faolan's ear as they embraced, "You're not a little girl anymore."
"I never was," Faolan replied, as they pulled apart, their eyes meeting in a mixture of happiness and sadness. Faolan felt herself overcome with emotion- she hadn't really thought about the reuniting aspect of returning to Haven… only the essence of it.
"Faolan," a new voice said, and Faolan looked over Rathmir's shoulder to see William Sommer standing their, a slight smile on his face.
"Hi," she answered, then paused before stepping forward to hug him too.
The third Herald coughed, and they all turned to look at him. He was a young man; Faolan would have placed him in his early twenties, and his whites were of a particularly fine cut. Fao did not recognize him.
"Faolan," Rathmir said, "This is Herald-Prince Dante- the Heir to the Throne."
Faolan gave him a small bow, trying to remember her courtly manners from several past lives ago. Dante didn't really seem to care though, he just nodded back to Faolan and then said, sounding like his mind was elsewhere, "We should continue our discussion inside- where there is light."
Faolan glanced back at Raul, who just bobbed her head in agreement and said, :I'll be with you, Faolan.:
Fao nodded, and then followed Dante, Rathmir, and William inside to halls that seemed smaller than they had the last time she was there. It was quiet in the Collegium, but the warm lamps lighting the halls made it feel comforting and safe. In the light she saw that Rathmir did look older- their were more gray hairs on her head, and more lines on her face, but the she was still the Rathmir that Faolan remembered. Dante too, she could now see clearly. He was tall, and had black hair just as Fao recalled the Queen having. It was cut short on him though, and neat. He walked like a Prince.
The Heir brought them to what appeared to be a sort of receiving room, where a large fire burnt merrily, but without the wild feel of the fires Faolan was used to sitting by with the werewolves. Faolan pushed thoughts of them away and, copying the others, took a seat in one of the chairs placed before a table. Dante sat facing her, and Rathmir and William chose to sit on either side of her in an obvious gesture of support. It made Faolan feel surprisingly loved- she had not expected that from anyone within the Collegium.
Dante sighed and leaned back in the chair, then said, "I never knew you when you were here before, Faolan. I was a trainee myself then, and not involved in the affairs of the state, but I know of you now. We- the Heralds, trust you Faolan Wolfsbane… but some of your actions were in direct defiance of your Companion and your country."
Faolan couldn't meet his eyes when she said, "I know this very well, sir, and I find it hard to explain my actions to someone who wasn't there, but I will say this… It is impossible to pretend to be a soldier, when one is fighting on the front. I accept full responsibility for my actions."
"Very well," he said, staring at her with dark, piercing eyes, "I hope you know how much you have helped us, Faolan- your words, your actions, what you've learned of the werewolves. We'd all be dead now, Valdemar in ruins, if it weren't for you, and on behalf of the Heralds, on behalf of Valdemar I thank you."
Faolan personally had trouble believing that- she felt she did more helping herself while living with the werewolves than helping Valdemar… but she couldn't explain that to the Prince, so she just said, "Valdemar will never fall, sir. If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else- that's what Heralds are for."
Dante gave her a small smile, shrugged, and said, "Well today it is you. Another time we will discuss what we'll do with you- for now, you're on break. I have never known anyone I thought needed one more."
Then he stood up and left the room, leaving Faolan alone with Rathmir and William. Once Dante was gone, she glanced at them, wondering what was to happen now. Rathmir sighed and leaned back in her chair thoughtfully for a moment before standing up and stretching.
"Are you hungry?" she asked Faolan, and the moment she asked, Faolan realized she was starving.
"Yeah," Fao nodded then added quickly, "It's really good to see you again, Rathmir."
"I feel the same," she said, "When I heard you were returning… it made an old Herald's heart turn a little younger. I never stopped expecting to hear word of your death- but here you are, alive, well, and all in one piece."
Faolan stared up at her, then said, "Well, alive and in one piece, yes. Well… I suppose that's up for dispute."
Rathmir gave Faolan a hand and pulled her up, then embraced her again, holding her tightly before letting her go, and adding on, "Time will change that, Faolan. Now, let's go get some food in you and then we can spend the rest of the night catching up."
The three of them headed down to the common room. It was entirely empty, but William disappear for a moment then returned a few minutes later with a steaming bowl of soup, a large piece of bread, and a mug of hot tea. These he placed in front of Faolan, then sat down across from her at a table. Rathmir sat beside her.
While Faolan ate, Rathmir told her about the war from Valdemar's standpoint. She told her about watching younger and younger children come in, riding the backs of their Companions, then go off to war in only two or three years, still children. Both Maemi and Kayin had been Chosen and were trainees right now- Faolan's interest perked at that. They were both around her own age, and it would be interesting to talk to them after so long. Rathmir was praying for the war to end before they were sent out to war… The Death Bell tolled almost weekly these days. All the trainees Faolan had known were at the Front now, including Christopher Alaska- and he was a formidable Herald. Rathmir stopped there and said she wasn't going to load Faolan down with Death Lists, that now wasn't the time, so she went on to talk about some of the trainees she was working with right then.
Around then Faolan finished eating, and they went back to Rathmir's rooms and settled themselves down there. Then Faolan began talking. It was hard to start, telling about how she'd first met Skylar, and brought her into his village. She told Rathmir and William about control, and the problems she had with it. She told them about Skylar, Taryn, and Roscoe. She told them about archery, and being sent to the front, where she then told them about the Commander, and learning to be a Scout again- about being a Scout again on the other side of the war. Then she told them about Dashiell, and how she'd slipped. She told them about having her mind ploughed through like a book, then being sent out as a soldier. She told them about the night she killed a Herald, and told them about the feelings that drove her to wish she was no longer a Herald. Then she told them she'd gained true control, but killed a werewolf in the process and so had to leave. She did not tell them about Raleigh, or how she gained true control, because at that point she felt that if she were even to approach thinking about Raleigh, she just start crying and wouldn't be able to stop. Not that she wasn't already crying- going through the past eight years was hard enough just by itself.
Rathmir was quiet through the entire thing, and when Faolan was finished she moved over and held Faolan tightly for a long time. Faolan's eyes were heavy, and she knew it had to be very late in the night- maybe even nearing the morning. She peered outside the window, and sure enough, there was a faint glow on the eastern horizon. William stood up and stretched, then move over to peer outside for a moment before pacing around the room thoughtfully.
"Quite an adventure," he said softy, then glanced over at Faolan and said, "I expect you're ready to settle down a be a normal Herald… You've had enough adventure for several lifetimes."
"I hope so," Faolan said with a short laugh, and a shrug, from her position in Rathmir's arms, "Between Carry Rolf and I… I've had enough of war."
"Faolan…" Rathmir said, and Faolan looked at the woman. Her expression was cautious, and unsure, opposed to before, and Faolan wondered what was up.
"Faolan," she said, "I'm curious, but afraid to ask this… don't you want to know about Raleigh?"
Faolan felt her insides turn to ice and she said softly, "I already know… I… I kind of found his soul while out there. He was lost there, near where he… where Carry died. The night I gained true control… it was because I felt him go- watched him go, in fact. So… I know he's dead, Rathmir."
And then the tears were coursing down her cheeks again, uncontrollably, and the pain inside her was so great she almost felt like throwing up, and Rathmir's arms squeezing around her tightly just made her cry even harder. Rathmir pulled her close and ran her fingers through Faolan's hair comfortingly before interrupting Faolan.
"Faolan…" Rathmir said, and her voice held an odd edge to it as she pulled Faolan to look into her teary gaze, "Raleigh isn't dead. He woke up a week ago."
Faolan's tears stopped so abruptly she hiccupped, then choked, and fell into a coughing fit. When she finally regained her voice she looked between Rathmir and William and said quietly, her voice cracking with the emotion that was flooding her system, "Really?"
"Yes," Rathmir said, but then pulled Faolan back down to a seat as she started to jump up, "But Faolan- wait. You need to think before you rush off to see him. He does not know you."
For a moment Faolan was confused, thinking, Yes he does… I've been talking with him for years… But then she realized that upon waking, it was possible Raleigh didn't remember- and he'd never realized that the person visiting him in his dreams wasn't Carry Rolf. She felt a cold shiver go through her and had the sudden horrible feeling that Raleigh, upon not knowing her, wouldn't love her anymore.
"He'll love you," Rathmir said, seeing the expression on Faolan's face, "No worries about that. But you can't just rush in there. Faolan… he just learned Carry Rolf died a few days ago- she was the first thing he was asking for when he woke. He was very adamant that Carry should be there. I told him- I was the only one who knew, actually but… He's still dealing with having been in a coma for fifteen years. That's a lot to deal with. He's very weak and… he doesn't know about you. So you need to take it easy with him. He may remember seeing you when his soul was wandering, but… I don't think he does. So just… be careful."
"Okay," Faolan said, only partly listening. Her heart was throbbing with the words Raleigh isn't dead. A euphoric joy was dancing through her limbs- she felt like everything was okay, everything was fine, the war was fine, the werewolves were fine, everything was good because Raleigh wasn't dead! He was awake!
"I need to see him," Faolan said softly, her voice intense, and once more she glanced back between Rathmir and William.
"All right," Rathmir nodded, then glanced out the window, "I suppose it's not too early. The Healer's Collegium should already be bustling by now. In fact, the Herald's Collegium should be waking up soon as well. Are you sure you don't want to get some sleep first, Faolan?"
Fao shook her head fiercely- the idea of sleep was as pleasing to her as the idea of stabbing her own eyes out. Rathmir seemed to understand this- of course, she knew what being lifebonded was like. Faolan wondered briefly how she and William had died, in their past lives, to create that lifebond, but her thoughts quickly moved back to Raleigh, and she thought of him as she had last seen him here- lifeless and deadlike, laying in that bed with his chest slowly rising and falling…
"I'll show her," William said, moving from his standing position, "You get some rest, Rathmir."
She nodded, then yawned and stood up, going over to William to give him a kiss before sitting down on their bed and pulling off her shoes.
Faolan stood up then as well, and looked at William. He nodded, and pulled open the door, shutting it behind Faolan as soon as they were out into the hallway. It was still dark, but a faint light was coming from somewhere, and Faolan knew the new day was about to start. As they walked quickly through the halls, Faolan saw a few trainees scurrying to do their before breakfast chores. Outside the birds that were still there despite the coming winter, were chirping voraciously. It was chilly, and their breath steamed out in front of them.
Faolan's heart was pounding like mad as they entered the House of Healing. William just waved at the green uniformed Healers, and they let him go through as he would. A few looked curiously at Faolan- she was still wearing her dirty traveling clothes and clearly hadn't taken a good bath in a while. It was only then that Faolan felt conspicuous- the werewolves weren't the cleanest of people, and while outside Faolan had just felt… like the outside.
William stopped in front of a closed door and turned to Faolan and said, "He's in there. Good luck."
"Thank you," Faolan whispered and turned to stare at the door. Her hand shaking, she slowly reached up and touched the doorknob, suddenly set with the terrible inability to turn that knob.
She took a deep breath, letting it go through her body and relax her shaking nerves, then turned the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open. It was still dark in the room, but light starting to come in through a window that overlooked the Companion's Field. Laying in the single bed was a sleeping form- though for a moment Faolan thought he'd fallen back into his coma. But then he stirred and twitched, and Faolan knew with a rising happiness that he really was awake. What she'd thought had sent him on to the next life had really brought him back into this one.
She stood in the doorway for a long time, staring at his dark sleeping form, barely able to breath or think. But then she stepped in, and closed the door behind her, then moved over to stand above him. He looked much as he had before, thin and weak with short cropped hair, but there was, she could tell in the slight light coming in, a flush to his skin that hadn't been there before. There was something very vibrant and alive about his sleeping, unlike the vegetable like thing he'd been while in a coma.
"Raleigh," Faolan whispered, staring down at him, not knowing if she wished him still asleep or wished him awake.
Then, as if something had passed over him, he heaved a sigh and his eyes fluttered open, soft and brown and sleepy. The quickly landed on Faolan and with a smile and a yawn he asked softly, still half asleep, his voice a hoarse whisper, "Carry?"
A/N: And now for the thanks!
GinaStar- Well technically Faolan IS a mindhealer- she has Empathy too... And Talia isn't for another few hundred years I think... This story is set in the ambiguous times after Lavan and before Talia.
ginalee- Now you know what's facing her! To some extent, anyway... I'm glad it leaves you wanting more!
LightningStorms- It's agravating to write like that too- then again I DO write ahead but... yeah. XD. Lol- I guess you could call some of the people in this storm bad people...
M3m0rii- Rolan IS here, but he's grove born so no Talia... yet. This is set in ambiguous unstoried times. And yay, I've been faved! ;) The-Elven-Bookworm- Yeah, I've been reading some Mercedes Lackey too- but its her essays on Harry Potter so not Valdemar related... but whatever. As for lifebonds, I tried to stick with what she had given... just add some more to it. Then again, I haven't read the Herald Mage trilogy in a while soo... yeah. XD. I've been considering de-Lackeyizing this for a while actually... I have a whole magic system worked out already involving long years of training at a Wizard school, where Raul is a familiar, but not all Wizards have familiars nor do familiars choose the potential wizards, so Raul would be Rathmir's familiar. And Rathmir would still be a student because you don't become a full Wizard until like thirty years of training. XD.
Beththeartist- Wow- I'm impressed. I like reading stories all at once, but I've never pulled an all-nighter. Thank you for your review!