Chapter Four

It had been over a month since Kagome had gotten hurt. She could now sit up on her own, but for small periods of time, then she had to lean against a wall or someone, usual Inuyasha. She could also feed herself, by holding the bowl in her left hand a certain way, eating with a spoon in her right hand. Her arm was healing very well, but it still hurt if she pushed it to much. Kagome could only handle broth and soup; she would become sick if she ate anything else. Inuyasha was still keeping a close watch over her.

That's why this morning, two months after the attack, Kagome was surprised to find she was completely alone. She'd gotten up, and listened to see if she could hear any voices coming from outside; but nothing came to her ears that sounded anything like Inuyasha's voice. Kieda had come in a little later to check on her. She checked Kagome's wounds, cleaned them and then put new bandages on her. Kagome feeling like a living mummy was given a bowl of warm vegetable soup. When Kieda had risen to leave, Kagome asked where Inuyasha was.

"He left early this morning; he went to your time to get bandages, and supplies. He'll be back soon." Kagome thanked her, and then went back to eating her soup. It was around noon and Inuyasha still hadn't returned. Kagome was becoming impatient, deciding that now was good as any to practice on walking and to give her something to do, Kagome pushed aside the blankets, and her empty bowl. Kagome had been practicing walking in secret; because Kieda was worried she'd open her wounds. Being stubborn like all ways, Kagome hadn't listened. She began to practice about a week ago, once her coughing fits had subsided. She could now walk around the room a few times without exhausting herself; she'd only tried once to walk across the room without any support, but had ended up dropping in pain onto the floor; but she didn't give up and was still practicing. Kagome pushed herself up against the wall and leaning heavily onto it began her trip around the room. There was a bit of pain in her stomach but Kagome ignored it and kept going around the room. Still thinking about her wounds, Kagome remembered a conversation she'd had with Kieda about a week and a half ago.

……..

Flashback:

Kagome and Inuyasha were sitting in the floor, a pack of cards sitting near Kagome's leg. She was leaning onto Inuyasha a bit for support. They had eaten together with Kieda, who was enjoying just watching them. Kagome was trying to teach Inuyasha how to play cards. They'd been talking, and Kagome mentioned that her and Inuyasha had matching scares now, and that her flawless skin was now marred with a scar that ran in two lines from her stomach to her back and then around the other side and to the front; they had healed considerably well, but there would always be a scare there. Inuyasha just had an irregular circle in between his ribs where Sesshomuru had stuck his poison claws through Inuyasha's gut. Kieda who knew the joke for what it was said jokingly back to her.

"Now Kagome, vanity isn't good for the soul." Then Kieda acted and brought her hand up to her hair and acted like she was smoothing it down. Kagome, who thought anything was funny tonight, began to laugh; resulting to a ten minute coughing fit. As like all the other times since she woke up Kagome coughed up blood into a rag. The coughing fit sapped all the strength that Kagome had mustered; it left her weak, tired, and sick feeling.

"I hate coughing." Kagome stated. Inuyasha helped her lay back down, covering her up with a blanket and making sure she was comfortable.

"But it's good that you're getting it out of your stomach." Kieda said, giving Kagome a new rag.

"Just because it's good for me, doesn't mean I have to like it." Kagome had then yawned, closed her eyes, and soon fell asleep listening to Inuyasha and Kieda's conversation.

End of flashback.

………

Kagome, walking slowly around the room, neared the window when she heard voices coming from it, since it was near her. Her heart started beating faster when Inuyasha's voice carried into the room. 'He's back.' Kagome walked over to the door and moved the flap to look out at who us was out there. Her legs were still a little shaky when they had to support her entire weight. She leaned against the door frame, watching as Inuyasha was standing there holding her yellow backpack, talking to Miroku and Sango. Shippo and Kirara were playing near the fence by Kieda's garden, where she was gardening. Kagome forgot all about surprising them, and just enjoyed the sun on her face, and breathing in the cool fresh air.

Inuyasha didn't realize that Kagome was there, until a small breath of air brought with it her scent. He turned to look at the hut; there she was a small smile on her face, and her eyes were closed. The wind blowing made her already messed up hair, making it even more wind blown. 'She's beautiful.' Said a voice in his head, making him smile inwardly, that same voice popped again saying, 'And Kikyo is dead.' This made him outwardly frown. 'Where did those come from?' He didn't want to ponder them, when he saw that Kagome was watching him. All thoughts ceased. He turned all the way and began to walk towards her. When he got close, he saw that she was pale, and sweat gleamed on her brow, but she was smiling.

He reached her, then bent over and pointed at her. "You should be in bed." Then passed her and went inside; Kagome followed though slower; moving against the wall. Inuyasha was opposite the pallet that she'd been sleeping on, which for her was lucky, because she was on the same side, and was getting exhausted. Inuyasha was still emptying the contents of the bag, when she practically collapsed next to him. "I don't think you should push yourself so much." He turned to her, she had her head bent, and he couldn't see her face. Worried he bent down and moved the curtain of hair. Kagome looked up at him, her face was blank. She didn't move or say anything, just looked at him. Inuyasha felt a little anxious as she kept a straight stare at him, blinking what seemed once every century; at least to him. Finally he put his head down breaking eye contact. "Stop looking at me like that." He stood up, and went back to unpacking.

"Do you still love her?" Kagome's voice asked. Inuyasha dropped the ramen soup packet back into the bag.

"What brought that on?" He asked, a bit too harshly apparently, for Kagome shrunk away from him, Inuyasha felt bad, but clutched his hands into fists instead of confronting her. He knew that she deserved an answer, but it was answer he didn't have; or wouldn't give. Kagome shook her head, getting up, she turned her sad eyes onto Inuyasha.

"Never mind, it's not worth it." She turned so that her back was to him, and Inuyasha was sure that she was going to 'sit' him; but she didn't, she got down on the pallet so that her back was turned to him. Inuyasha was a bit angry, but he knew that she was upset too. He was a little disappointed that she hadn't 'sat' him, like she usually did when she was upset with him. He finished unpacking the supplies and headed back outside when Kagome's voice came from under the blanket. "Will you help me get outside later, I'd like to be in the fresh air for a while; and see the sunset. You don't have to stay the whole time, Shippo will stay with me." She didn't once look at him.

"Okay." He moved the door flap and left the hut. Kagome waited until she was sure he was gone then she let herself cry. 'Why? Why do I do this to myself? Because you love that stupid jerk; because you always want to be with him, and have him at your side. I'm so stupid. I don't even know why I asked, I should have just stayed quiet.' Kagome covered herself up and left herself cry. 'Idiot.' She wiped away the tears running down her face, just to have more replace them.

Inuyasha procrastinated as long as he could before reentering the hut. When he couldn't any more he went inside to wake Kagome like he said he would. He felt guilt claim him when he saw the still drying tears on Kagome's cheek, he almost backed away to leave, but instead he reached down and shook her shoulder. Kagome stirred but didn't wake, she murmured something that a human wouldn't have heard, but Inuyasha could. She said, "Inuyasha, why?" That gave Inuyasha pause, but then he reached down and shook her shoulder again. This time Kagome did wake up.

"You said that you wanted to see the sunset." Kagome looked at him, and then nodded her head. She brought up her hand and Inuyasha thought that she was reaching for him, but then she put it back down and removed her covers, getting up by herself. She didn't say or look at him when they walked outside. Instead of going to the field near the scared tree and the bone eaters well, Kagome turned and went up the steps toward the shrine on top of the hill, this confused him, but he didn't say anything. He knew what it was costing her to walk all that way up the stairs without help, but he didn't push it. Shippo caught up with them about half way up the shrine steps. Inuyasha felt a twinge of jealousy when Shippo took Kagome's hand and she smiled one of her special smiles; she had rarely ever given to him, but he loved it when she had. When they reached the top of the stairs Kagome turned and looked at him, she looked so sad, Inuyasha wanted to say something, but again he didn't. Kagome turned and followed Shippo to a bench where they could watch the sunset.

Inuyasha remembered the last time Kagome had looked so sad. It had been when he'd told her that he was going to stay with Kikyo and try and set her soul free; but the difference was that last time she had decided to stay with him. That's when that voice inside Inuyasha's head, the one that was becoming more and more annoying, said, 'That's the day that you realized you'd gotten your heart mixed in more deeply than you should have. That was the day that you knew you'd always want her by your side. Then as time went by you realized that Kikyo wasn't the only woman in your heart and that Kagome was slowly pushing everyone else out of it. After Kikyo's death, you made a promise to always protect her, you know you lov…..' Inuyasha cut off the train of thought. 'This is why I don't want to examine my feelings. This is why I can't answer Kagome's question. This is why I have to becoming a full demon. Then I won't have these human feelings.' Inuyasha's thoughts were in such turmoil that he couldn't even enjoy the sunset.