A/N: Tomorrow I'm graduating! Here is the next chapter, enjoy!
"You smell," Raleigh said into Faolan's ear- she was lying on his bed, in human form and fully clothed, curled up next to him. Faolan hadn't sleep in over a day, and after Raleigh conked out she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. Sometime while they slept she had, in wolf form, crawled up all the way on the bed, and when she woke up she simply pulled her clothes on and went right back to where she had been. She didn't think he minded.
"That would because I'm literally right off the front. Not too many chances to bathe there," Faolan answered sleepily, stretching with a yawn and glancing out the window. It looked like late afternoon.
Raleigh chuckled and said, "I don't really mind. I suppose my nose is used to smelling nothing but this place, so any smell stands out."
He picked up a hand and flexed his fingers, staring at it, then sighed and stared up at the ceiling, saying, "I can't believe I've been in a coma for fifteen years. You make it a little easier- living proof that fifteen years has, indeed gone by. How old are you, anyway?"
"Fourteen," Fao answered, peering up at him from where her head rested beside his chest, nestled between his arm and side, "Fifteen next April."
"Half of me says 'well, love knows no bounds,' and the other half says, 'you are way too young to be in love with me- and for me to be in love with you'," Raleigh said and looked down at her, his lips twitching in half a smile.
"Well I'm not fourteen mentally," Faolan said, then winked at him with a mischievous grin.
Raleigh's lips twitched even more and Faolan could tell he was struggling between amusement and embarrassment – but then he leaned backwards, his face falling serious. Faolan watched him for a moment before interpreting his thoughts.
"It doesn't matter," she said, "That it's been so long… don't cry over the past Raleigh, just look at the present. We're together and you're awake and we're both alive…"
"Yeah," Raleigh said softly, his voice slightly hoarse, "But… I can't stop thinking about… Carry- you died… You died. And even though you're here again… you're…" He stopped, floundering for words.
"Not the same person," Faolan finished for him with a sigh, "Yes. But I'm the same person too- and I still love you, into this life."
"Well," he said softly, "I suppose I don't get to have Carry back- but I'm sure as hell lucky to have you now."
"Isn't reincarnation wonderful?" Faolan answered with a grin, and scooted up so her head was resting on Raleigh's shoulder, and their faces were only inches apart.
Raleigh laughed, kissed her, then said, "Nice to see you still have your old sense of humor."
"How long till you'll be up and about?" Faolan asked, grinning at him, "I remember thinking- when I first saw you, that you'd never wake up- because if you were going to wake up then what was the point of my having come back so quickly?"
"The Healers don't know," Raleigh said, a hint of exasperation entering his voice, "They say no one has ever woken up from a coma after being in one for fifteen years. They seem to think I can give them some explanation though… as if I knew."
Faolan stared up at him thoughtfully- she had an idea she knew, but Raleigh clearly didn't remember anything from the years his soul spent wandering around on the border, touching Faolan in her dreams. And since he didn't remember she couldn't very well tell him…
There was a knock on the door, then it opened, and a Healer entered, carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup on it. He smiled at them and set the tray down and said, "Now Raleigh here needs his dinner, and his rest. Why don't you go take care of yourself and then you may come back later?"
Faolan glanced at Raleigh, then nodded unhappily, and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed before standing up and stretching and saying, "I might just go get dinner and go to bed, actually…"
She looked back at Raleigh for confirmation and he nodded so she said, "All right. I'll come back tomorrow morning- I promise."
He nodded, hesitated, then said, "Thank you for being here, Faolan."
Faolan smiled, and answered, "I love you, Raleigh," before stepping around the curious looking Healer and out the door, where she ran into somewhere dressed all in white. She looked up and saw a face she hadn't seem since last time she was in Haven. It was a tired face- even more worn than it was before. Faolan was vaguely surprised he was still alive in a morbid sort of way.
"Faolan," Jamie Lauren said with a vague frown, peering around her at Raleigh, who was sitting up slowly and talking to the Healer.
"Jamie Lauren," Faolan answered, "It's been a long time."
"Yes…" he said, still sounding vague, staring at her intensely, "Is there a reason you're here…?"
"Um," Faolan said, holding back a wince- he never did figure it out, did he? All he knew was that Faolan was a werewolf… She counted in her head the people who knew about even Carry Rolf- it wasn't very many. Just a few from the Heraldic Circle and Rathmir. Probably William too, come to think of it.
"Why are you here?" she decided to answer, knowing it was weak.
"I was on leave- supposed to leave last week, but then Raleigh woke up- and that was all over the Collegia. I got permission to stay a little longer," he stated, implying, I have a legitimate reason-what's yours?
"James?" a voice floated from the room, and both Fao and Jamie reflexively turned towards the sound of Raleigh's voice.
Raleigh was grinning over his bowl of soup as he stared at Faolan and Jamie- and then Fao grinned too, as she realized that the three of them were together once more- as they had been on the front so many years and years ago- only Jamie didn't know it.
"I feel like am I missing something extremely large," Jamie said with a sigh- sounding almost resigned to not knowing.
Raleigh raised an eyebrow and Faolan and she shook her head gently- saying no, don't tell him. She might, if it came down to it- a few people already knew about Carry Rolf anyway. She supposed one more couldn't hurt- but with that attitude it'd be all over the Collegium and… Faolan sighed. Rolan wouldn't like it, and with good reason. Reincarnation wasn't exactly fact among the general population.
:Raul?: she asked, rejoicing in the ability to easily reach and communicate to her Companion. She'd been alone on the trivial things for far too long.
:Yes?: the mare asked softly, tenderly and Faolan felt happier.
:Jamie Lauren…?: she inquired, knowing that'd be enough for Raul.
:Hmm,: was Raul's answer, :I suppose once he hears about your lifebond he won't take vague answers, will he? And he's a Herald, so you'll see him more than if he were just some random person from your past lives… In that aspect as well he won't take a vague answer- nor will he forget about it. Marcella can only interfere so much…:
:Are you saying we should tell him?: Faolan inquired, glancing at Jamie- he had a distant look on his face that suggested he too was communicating with his Companion.
:I'm saying you may not have a choice,: Raul answered, :But ask him if he'll go without explanation first.:
"Would you be okay if I told you that you can't know?" Faolan inquired of Jamie, giving Raleigh a smile before doing so.
He shrugged, "I know what you've told me- that you knew of him and Carry somehow… What I would like to know is how."
"That's kind of what I can't tell you," Faolan said feeling fidgety and she shifted her weight around. The Healer in the room gave them a few dark looks and engaged Raleigh in a little interrogating again.
Jamie Lauren sighed, and ran a hand through hair that was longer than it had been last Faolan saw it, then shrugged again, "I suppose I can live with that…"
Faolan glanced at Raleigh and saw he was totally ignoring the Healer and instead listening in to her conversation. She glared at him- he was grinning. Apparently he had guessed what she knew would make Jamie not able to sit back and accept ignorance.
"Would you be able to live with it if I told you that we're lifebonded?" Faolan asked, tucking a stray strand of hair behind an ear, then suddenly realized that he was the first to know aside from William and Rathmir. With that knowledge came the idea that she'd have a lot of fun telling everyone else.
"Are you lifebonded?" Jamie asked, looking between Raleigh and Faolan.
"Yes," she answered, "That's actually the reason I was visiting him when I was a trainee."
"That wasn't because you knew of him?" he asked, then added sharply and quietly, "Who told you about Carry Rolf?"
Apparently he was forming an incorrect chain of events in his head- that she was lifebonded to him and then managed to find someone to ask about his past and discovered Carry Rolf and him- then asked him about Carry Rolf. There were large holes in that story- gaping ones, in fact. Faolan wondered if Jamie could see them. She wondered if she'd manage to not tell him that she was Carry after all.
"Come in Jamie," Raleigh called out, then made a motion with his head for Faolan to leave. She gave him a last smile then walked down the hall gratefully- wondering if Raleigh would tell him or not. Anything Raleigh could explain would probably just make him more confused though.
Faolan decided to stop thinking about it, and headed back to the Heraldic Collegium. It was cool outside, and the sun was hovering near the horizon, about to set. Faolan suspected dinner would be in full throttle, and decided to bathe first and go when less people were there. She wasn't sure she could handle all the Heralds at the moment.
The baths were deserted, so Faolan got to soak in solitude. When she was clean she pulled on a fresh pair of Whites that didn't quite fit her properly. It felt strange to be wearing such target like clothing. So shiny. But it was a Herald's clothing, so she shrugged a couple times then headed down to the Common Room.
By the time she got there, there weren't too many other Heralds and Herald Trainees- but a few still were scattered around the tables. Faolan wondered how many Heralds there were- total, these days. Certainly there were a lot of gray uniformed sitting around- more than white. It was strange to be back at Haven, out of the war, with other Heralds again.
Faolan slipped in discreetly and got a plate and, after looking around and seeing no one she recognized, sat down. Apparently no one recognized her either, because no one approached. Were all her old friends gone to war? Would they recognize her if they hadn't? It gave Fao shivers to think about how long she'd been gone...
She ate in silence, wondering where Rathmir was and wondering how'd she manage to sleep tonight knowing Raleigh was near, and she wasn't beside him. Sitting there, as low chatter filled the room around her, Faolan felt more lonely than she ever had at the Front. The food was good- better than she'd had in a very long time, but Faolan didn't enjoy it that much.
After dinner she meandered slowly up the halls and stopped in front of the door labeled Rathmir and William Sommer, and thought about her own room- the one she hadn't been to in years. She supposed the years were gone when she'd sleep in the Sommer's rooms. Pausing for a moment in the empty hallway she stared at that door, feeling a mix of happiness and sadness at being back, being taller in a place she still remembered very vividly. With another sigh she gave a short knock on the door.
An unfamiliar face opened it. It was a girl, wearing trainee grays, and Faolan knew immediately this had to be Kayin- Rathmir and William's daughter. She had long blond hair tied back in a ponytail and had the figure and face of her mother- but her eyes were blue. She stared at Faolan for a moment, then stepped back for her to enter with the shy smile of two people that haven't seen each other since they were very small- but still remember and like each other.
"Hi," she said softly as Faolan entered, "Uh.. Faolan."
"Yeah," Faolan nodded, feeling suddenly as shy as Kayin looked, "For some reason I remember you being younger than me… but you're sixteen now right?"
"Yeah," Kayin nodded, "Papa is bathing now- but Mama is in if you want to talk to her."
"Um…" Faolan shrugged, "She isn't busy, is she?"
Kayin shook her head with a smile, "Just reading a book. So you've been spying all this time? Since you left?"
Faolan glanced at her as she quickly added on the last two phrases, saw the curiosity in Kayin's eyes, and nodded. Strange- Kayin was two years older than her, but here was Faolan who'd already been through so much in just fourteen years.
"That is amazing," Kayin added on as Faolan just stood there, wondering what to do, "I can't believe they let you go there when you were so young… You were six, right?"
"Yes," Faolan nodded, and thought, What DID the Queen give as her reasons for letting a six year old go spy? I mean she obviously couldn't tell everyone about my past life knowledge… Her eyebrows twitched as she thought of this, but then she looked up as she heard footsteps from the other room, and Rathmir entered.
"Interrogating Faolan, are you?" Rathmir asked of her daughter with a smile, and Faolan watched them, feeling odd- Rathmir had always been somewhat of a mother figure to her, so watching her with her real daughters was always… odd. Faolan felt half like an intruder, and half one of them. It had been okay when she was young because Maemi and Kayin didn't really think in terms of family like that but now… Faolan felt odd coming back and… She sighed.
"No- we were just talking," Kayin answered, glancing at Faolan, who smiled.
"I don't mind," Fao said quickly, "Talking about spying, I mean. It's all right if she asks me questions."
Rathmir's gaze pierced Faolan as if she could read her mind for a moment before she nodded and said, "All right. How was Raleigh?"
Faolan grinned and said, "He's awake. I fell asleep there- not surprising considered I stayed up the entire night. A Healer finally kicked me out."
"I see you found some Whites," Rathmir added, looking at Faolan's outfit.
"Yes," Faolan answered, "I just wanted to stop in before going back to my rooms. I intend to sleep for another twelve hours at least."
"Not a bad idea," Rathmir said, "I imagine it's never easy to sleep on a war front."
"You're lucky you're a teacher," Faolan answered to that, "And never have to do it."
Rathmir shrugged, then said, "I'm a Herald, with all the training of one- if the Queen needs me on the front, I will go. But until then, I will enjoy my safety- and pray that those who do not sleep safe come home in one piece."
At those words, she reached over to a quiet Kayin and hugged her, then added, "And hope that the war ends before the Queen needs my own."
Faolan felt a sharp pang in her chest, and, not entirely sure what it was about, shoved it away and looked at her feet, feeling uncomfortable. She fidgeted a moment, then said, "Well… I guess I'll be going then."
"No"- Rathmir said, "Stay a while. Come in, sit down. We can all talk."
Faolan nodded and followed the woman into a sort of living room that looked like it also doubled as a dining room when they didn't want to eat in the Common Room with the rest of the Heralds. Faolan figured that was probably more for before the two children had been Chosen. Rathmir sat down in a chair near a fire that was burning lowly- the coals orange and glowing. Fao sat down near her, and Kayin sat on her other side. The three of them were silent for a while, gazing into the fire, and Faolan started feeling uncomfortable again.
"What was it like?" Kayin asked suddenly, looking over at Faolan with the same blue eyes as her father, "Being with the werewolves? For eight years?"
I was with them longer than with the Heralds, Faolan suddenly realized, and her stomach tightened, and she answered slowly, avoiding looking at either Kayin or Rathmir, "Well… in a lot of ways it was extremely stressful… But… in a lot of ways it was really wonderful, Kayin."
"Wonderful?" she echoed sounding dubious. Faolan leaned back in her chair, feeling her centuries of memories and age, feeling Carry Rolf- Kayin was so young. That was how Fao should have been, if her life hadn't decided to take that crazy turn of events that led her here.
"They're werewolves…" Faolan sighed, feeling a sudden lump in her throat as she thought of Taryn and Skylar, "And I'm a werewolf. They taught me more about myself than I could have ever learned on my own… This war is not a good one, Kayin. It's terrible. If I could only find a way to end it…"
She took a deep breath, and let the emotion drift out of her with the breath, instead of boiling out, and felt like turning into a wolf- that always made emotions easier to deal with, even though it also amplified them. She'd done her crying already- last night when she'd told Rathmir everything. It was time to move on.
Kayin seemed to sense the deepness of Faolan's emotion and stopped asking questions. The three of them sat silently for a while longer- but the silence was no longer uncomfortable, and Faolan felt her self starting to doze off, so she stood up and said goodbye to Rathmir and Kayin to go back to her own room, a mild feeling of unsettlement running through her body as she sank into sleep.
A/N: For being an extra long chapter, this one sure seems short! Thanks for reading this chapter, and extra thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter! Oh- and one question for those who are reviewing this chapter- so the Death Bell is in the old grove temple and rings whenever a Herald dies- that's written like everywhere. But isn't there a place where all the Herald's names are written down after they die? Like near the Death Bell? I can't find it written about on the Queen's Own or the Valdemar Companion, but I seem to remember it from the Arrow books or the Vanyel books... Anyone have an answer for me?
Stormy Phoenix- Yeah, I think I might stretch it out a bit more when I de-Lackeyize it. If I ever get around to doing that. First I need to finish this version!
GinaStar- Well the endings still quite a few chapters away, and I'm not giving any more hints.
ginalee- Yeah, Faolan deserves some happiness after all that unhappiness. It's nice to write chapters where people aren't dying.
LightningStorms- So you think the chapter means that either Raleigh or Faolan will have to die for the other? Well, luckily you are wrong. Then again, if you were right I wouldn't tell you so maybe I should tell you if you're wrong either...
Book Wyrm- Thank you! I try and write as much as possible- that seems to be what all great authors recommend. It certainly gets easier to write the more I write. I'm glad other people can enjoy reading what I enjoy creating!