SONGS: Plain White Tees - Hate, Travis - Why Does it Always Rain On Me

Chapter 14

Observations

EPOV

She hated me.

Just like I knew she would.

All those years of her telling me not to tell anyone, to keep my mouth shut so they wouldn't take me away, and I went and opened my big mouth. And she was right; I was taken away from her.

And now she hated me.

I could handle the moving away from her as long as I could visit her, but I'd tried not to consider the fact that she might not want to see me. Considering that had hurt too much.

"Of course she doesn't hate you Edward." Carlisle had assured me, "she's just upset, angry. She misses you and I'm sure that when she's calmed down she'll ask to see you. Just give her some space for now."

Oh sure, it was easy for him to say. She didn't hate him.

Carlisle and Esme had returned on Monday evening. Jasper didn't know about the answer machine message and had been panicking, worrying about whether his parents had found out about the party. I had tried to be optimistic about the message, I mean, the doctor didn't sound like it was urgent or bad; he just said he wanted to speak to Carlisle. But I couldn't help the feeling of dread that was creeping up on me, the way I couldn't help checking the window every five minutes to see if Carlisle was back. Jazz shortly sensed that something was up. He moved over to me cautiously by the window,

"Dude, what's wrong?"

I couldn't speak.

"Is it.....is it something to do with....with Aunt Liz?" he asked, glancing at me nervously to gauge my reaction.

I nodded once.

"Oh." He said. He took a deep breath.

"Is...Is she....I mean, she is better isn't she?" he stuttered.

"I don't know Jazz."

He tentatively put his arm on my shoulder.

"Ed, calm down man. I mean if you don't know what it is yet, how do you know it isn't good news?"

I didn't say anything.

Carlisle's Mercedes pulled up a while later and my heart started pounding furiously. He and Esme walked in the house cheerily, Esme singing out, "We're back!"

Their expressions simultaneously turned anxious as they spotted mine and Jazz's panicked looks.

"Oh my God what's happened?" Esme cried, "Has anyone been hurt? What's going on?"

Jazz held up his hand, "Chill mom, no one's been hurt. Well...I don't think anyone has..." he trailed off and glanced at me. "Edward, I don't really know what's going on man so you've got to tell them."

Their puzzled faces turned towards me.

I walked over to the answering machine and pressed play.

The message came up again and Carlisle's brow furrowed deeply, while Esme moved over and embraced me tightly.

"Oh Edward." She sighed, "I'm sure everything will be fine. Please don't panic darling."

"I'm going into my office to give Dr Goldfine a call." Carlisle said. At that I pulled back, away, from Esme.

"I'm coming with you." I said.

Carlisle looked at me apprehensively but didn't say anything. We walked up the stairs and down the hall to his office.

He punched in some numbers in the phone.

"Hello? Ah, Doctor Goldfine, it's Carlisle Cullen." Pause. "Yes, how are you?" Pause. "That's good. I received your message, sorry I couldn't call back earlier, Esme and I just got back from New York." Pause. "No, we took a quick weekend trip there." Pause. "Yes, it was wonderful, thanks."

I was getting sick of the small talk, where was the part about my mom?

Carlisle glanced at me. "So, you had something to tell me about Liz?" he asked.

There was silence for a few moments and then he said,

"Really? Oh, that's excellent. Yes, of course I will. Tomorrow will be fine, I'll have to call the hospital and let them know. Ok, thank you, I'll see you tomorrow. Yes, tell her. Thanks again. Ok. Say hello to Helen for me. Ok bye."

He finally put the phone down and I looked at him questioningly.

"It's good news Edward." He smiled a strained smile, and I wasn't convinced.

"Your mom is recovering well, she's responding to treatment and she's eating too. She's even asked to see me so I'm going over to Seattle tomorrow to visit her. I'll probably stay there a few nights."

Joy and relief washed over me and I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face.

"Really? Can I come?" I asked, "I mean; I know I've got school but it's only a few days right? And I promise I'll ask Jazz to collect all the stuff I miss-"

Carlisle's sigh cut me off.

"Edward, I'm sorry but she didn't ask to see you. She only wants to see me, she said."

I was frozen in shock as his words hit home. She didn't ask to see you.

I shook my head in disbelief. "Are you sure? I mean, maybe Dr Goldfine got it wrong-"

"Edward." Carlisle looked at me apologetically. "She was quite clear in her request. She said she wants to see me and no one else."

My fist clenched at my side as I choked back the sobs that threatened to take over. I turned hastily out of the office door and ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat on the edge of my bed, immobilised, as the tears overflowed down my face. I don't know how long I sat there for, but after a while, it had become dark in my room.

There was a knock on my door.

"Edward? Aren't you going to eat something?" Carlisle said through the door, "Esme's made you a sandwich."

I was silent. I heard him put something down in front of the door and then go back downstairs.

I bolted out the door into the hall, nearly tripping over the plate Carlisle had placed in front of my door. I don't know why I did it because I knew Carlisle wasn't lying to me.

I guess I just didn't want to believe it.

I crept into Carlisle's office. His phonebook was still open at Dr Goldfine's office number. I dialled the number silently and waited as it rang. I really wasn't expecting an answer because of how late it appeared to be so I was slightly taken aback when a female voice spoke,

"Good evening, the Springwater Clinic, Dr Goldfine's office. How may I help you?"

"Um, I err; I wanted to speak to someone?"

"Could I take the name of the person sir?"

"Elizabeth Cullen-Masen."

"And your name?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Ok-"

"I mean, Edward Cullen-Masen." My mom's maiden name was Cullen and my dad's surname had been Masen. When they had married she didn't want to give up the Cullen name completely so she had kept it and just added my dad's name to the end. She had done the same for me. However, growing up I had found it quite a mouthful to say 'Cullen-Masen' so I just used to say my name was Edward Cullen if anyone asked. I had gotten used to it over the years.

"Ok." The woman said, "Just hold on a moment."

I held the phone anxiously for a few agonising minutes.

"Um, Mr Cullen-Masen?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very sorry but Elizabeth doesn't want to speak to you at the moment."

"No, please wait-"

"I'm very sorry sir. Goodbye." The phone clicked in my ear.

I put it back down slowly, defeated.

Carlisle shuffled a little in the doorway to alert me of his presence but I already knew he had been standing there.

"She hates me." I said.

I wasn't in the mood for school on Tuesday. I especially wasn't in the mood for Tanya.

Luckily, Rose had informed me that she and Tanya would be in drama rehearsals all day and had asked me to collect some notes for them. I went through school robotically, I was listening to the teachers and doing the work but my head wasn't really there. The only person I was really focused on was my mom. When would she want to see me? Would she even want to see me at all? Would she ask about me? Carlisle was probably on his way to Seattle by now. It took all the strength I had in me to not ditch school, get in my car and drive up there as well.

In biology, surprisingly, I was distracted from my depressing thoughts.

Bella Swan's vanilla and strawberry fragrance wafted in my nose as she sat down and for some strange reason I almost smiled. Almost.

Mr Banner set us an assignment to do, in which we had to work with the person sat next to us. For me that meant Bella. I turned to her and asked her if I should go and collect the equipment from the front desk. Instead of replying to my question, she just stared at me, looking startled. I was confused by her reaction. She then turned a deep shade of red – as usual – and stuttered something I didn't really catch before walking up to the front desk.

I watched her and was momentarily mesmerized by her graceful walk. She moved so fluidly, so light on her feet that she almost looked like she was dancing.

She came back and sat down at the desk, her cheeks still slightly pink and I was probably going a little crazy because I very nearly wanted to reach out and touch her cheek. I restrained myself though, mentally scolding myself for acting like an ass and deciding that the stuff that had happened with my mom was the cause. I thought Bella would probably not want to take notes down on the cells so I told her I'd do it while she drew out the chart. Turns out she didn't want to draw the chart and she was pretty rude about it too.

I was glaring at her, ready to say something about her rudeness when I noticed her forehead creased slightly again, like yesterday, and her lips were in that little pout.

And I became aware that her lips were just....really....alluring.

I looked away quickly and tried, very hard, to concentrate on the chart. She was silent, examining the cells and taking notes. We were both silent for the most part, only speaking when it was necessary, but I was very aware of her presence. I was aware of the fact that she was left handed; aware of the way her fragrance drifted over to me whenever she tossed her hair; aware that her hair was tied up in a ponytail again, aware that her right foot was tapping lightly on the floor.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I was relieved when the bell rung and I quickly took the equipment back to the front desk, needing to get away from her in order to think clearly. I went back to the desk to ask her if she wanted to keep the cells, and again, she answered me rudely before abruptly walking past me and out of the classroom. What the fuck was her problem?

At lunch, my thoughts were back on my mom. Tanya was back, though I barely noticed her presence at all. In fact, I barely noticed anyone at the table – except Bella. I could see from the corner of my eye that she was glancing at me every so often, a curious expression on her face.

After school, the motorcycle 'badass' was back. I don't know why but he irked the fuck out of me. The way he leaned against the bike, eagerly watching for Bella, the way he smiled at Bella, the way he gazed at Bella. Then I noticed him handing Bella his phone. He probably wanted her number.

And she was actually giving it to him.

She didn't actually like this asshole did she? He obviously just wanted to get in her pants, I couldn't believe she didn't see it. After he left, I saw her looking around the parking lot, her face once again flaming.

Her brown eyes focused on mine for a second and shock crossed her face. She looked away quickly, leaving me confused, as I stared at her retreating to Alice's car.

Author's Note:

A teeny weeny bit more on the mom situation there. Review?

Savannah-Vee