SONG: Kings of Leon - Use Somebody, Muse - Map of the problematique

Chapter 20

Discovery

EPOV

I felt so stupid. How could I not have known? How could I not have had a clue that I liked her? I mean, it was so obvious.

Even Jazz knew I liked her before I did.

After Tanya had left, Esme had been pretty mad at me,

"Edward, how could you? How could you be so reckless and irresponsible? Getting drunk and having a one night stand?" she said incredulously.

I cringed. God this was embarrassing. I didn't want my aunt knowing anything about my sex life. I didn't even want her knowing that I had a sex life.

"You don't sleep with someone you aren't in love with and you most definitely do not call a girl a slut. That is a horrible term and I never want to hear you saying anything like that to someone again, do you hear me?"

I sighed, "Yes, aunt E. I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's not me you should be apologizing to. You will wait for a while until that poor girl has calmed down and then you will call her and apologize to her. Is that clear?"

Fuck. I nodded slowly.

"And wait, when exactly was this time that you got drunk?" She was looking at me suspiciously, her eyes narrowed and questioning.

Jazz was glaring at me from behind her back, looking panicked and shaking his head quickly.

"It was...it was a while ago...when I visited you guys around Christmas. Jazz and I went to a party and I met her there." I lied.

Jazz grinned at me, nodding his head in approval.

Esme sighed, shaking her head, "I'm very disappointed in you Edward."

Great. She had to use that word. I mean, I could handle people being mad at me, but disappointed.....that always made me feel like crap.

Jazz and I had gone to sit in the living room afterwards. I collapsed on the couch, rubbing my temples. I had a headache.

"Thanks for not snitching about the party man. I owe you one." Jazz said.

"No problem."

We were silent for a while.

"Wow man, that stuff with Tanya was....." he shook his head, "I told you she was nuts."

"Who was that guy she was talking about? Did you know him?" I asked.

"Yeah, sort of. He was her boyfriend and they were like inseparable, I mean, we were all only like twelve I think, but you could tell that they were probably going to end up married someday. He got killed in an accident though, and she was a little messed up after that, her parents took her out of town for a few months and when she came back she seemed like she was totally over him. She was going after other guys and stuff and she never spoke of him again. But by what she just told you tonight, she obviously wasn't over him."

I was guilt-ridden.

"Don't feel guilty man." Jazz said.

How did he always know?

"I mean, it's not your fault, you didn't know. And anyway you could have been anybody. The girl was obviously already unstable."

I nodded glumly.

Jazz and I sat in silence, watching TV.

After a while, I noticed that he kept looking at me strangely.

"What?" I said to him.

"Nothing." He had that same fake innocent expression on his face as he had had earlier on in the kitchen.

I raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. We continued sitting in silence and my thoughts starting drifting to Bella Swan. I was thinking about her long shiny hair, her sweet scent, her deep brown eyes, her voice, the cute little pout that she did when she was mad, her lips, her graceful walk, the way that blue sweater looked on her.....

"You like her don't you?" Jazz's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I was confused.

"What? Like who?" I questioned, frowning.

Jazz rolled his eyes.

"C'mon dude, you know who."

Confusion turned into shock, "Tanya? Dude, are you nuts? Didn't you just hear-?"

"No, not Tanya." Jazz interrupted.

He sighed. "I'm talking about Isabella Swan."

The sound of her name made my heart rate increase.

"I...I don't.....I mean, I-" I stuttered.

Jazz shook his head, grinning. "Dude, you are so into her. It's so fucking obvious. How the hell didn't I notice this?" He asked himself.

I sat there, every part of me frozen in shock – except my heart which was now thumping at double speed. I thought about it. Did I like Bella? I mean, all I knew was that she did something to me. She made me feel strange, feel a way that no other girl had made me feel before. I was constantly thinking about her, I looked forward to biology where I could sit next to her, and lunch, where I could look at her, I wanted to touch her, wanted to hear her talk, wanted to smell her.....

Fuck.

I did like Isabella Swan. Why didn't I realise this before? Why the fuck was I so blind?

Jazz was watching me, a small smirk on his lips. His raised his eyebrows,

"Well? Are you going to admit it?"

"Yeah." I said, the involuntary smile creeping up on my lips, "Yeah, I guess I do."

On Friday morning, I got an earful from Rosalie.

"I told you to just tell her that it was just a one night stand from the start didn't I?" She yelled, "But you didn't fucking listen to me. Instead you strung her along, pretending you liked her, making her think that you wanted her-"

"Look, Rose I didn't string her along. She was the one who practically dragged me along. I didn't ever tell her I wanted to be with her, I didn't-"

"Yeah well you didn't tell her that you didn't want to be with her either did you?"

Ok, that was true. I was silent.

"Exactly! And now she's got to go back to stay with her aunt and start counselling again. All because of you! I couldn't sleep last night, you know, she called me, crying her fucking eyes out and I had to stay on the phone and console her until six this morning!"

"Rose that's enough." Esme came into the kitchen where we were standing. "Get to school now, all of you. And Edward?" She called, as I started walking out.

I stopped and turned to face her.

"Apologize."

"Like there's any fucking point. She's not coming to school today, she's probably even on her way out of Forks by now." Rose said angrily.

"Rosalie can you please stop using such foul language." Esme scolded. She sighed deeply. "Right, off to school now, all of you."

On the drive to school, although Rosalie's words had stung me a little, I couldn't dwell on them too long, because, well, I was on my way to school, and that meant biology – and Bella would be there. I had lain awake in my bed for ages last night, just thinking about her. I knew I liked her now, but what the fuck was I going to do about it? Should I ask her out? I mean, I didn't even know if she liked me. She barely spoke to me and when she did, it was mostly just about the work we were doing. Again, my fucking heart was going at double time and my palms were damp.

Shit.

Jazz didn't say anything to me; he just gave me a meaningful look when we got out of the car and walked away to his first class. It was a huge relief to not have Tanya waiting for me in the parking lot for once, and I actually walked to class with a smile. I decided, during algebra, that I would ask Bella out. I mean, how would I know if she liked me or not if I didn't ask?

So, in biology, when I saw her walking over to the desk, I flashed a huge smile at her, confident, prepared to ask her out. As she approached me, my smile, as well as my confidence faltered. She was scowling, her forehead creased, her lips out at full pout. She didn't even respond to my hello. I didn't get this girl. What was up with her now? I asked her if she was ok and she didn't even turn to look at me, muttering a curt, 'I'm fine,' and glowering at the front of the class. She certainly didn't look like she was fine. So I thought that maybe she was mad that Tanya had disrupted our essay yesterday and tried to apologize for it but she cut me off, telling me to leave her alone.

I was pissed off.

What the fuck was her problem? Why was she always so fucking rude? I was always polite to her, yet she always seemed mad about something. Always in a fucking mood. Well I didn't give a shit, if she wanted to be left alone then I'd leave her alone. I turned to the front of the class and forced myself to not even glance in her direction.

At lunch though, I couldn't help looking at her again. She was still frowning slightly, but she looked a lot less mad than she had this morning. I kept trying to meet her eyes, so I could talk to her if she looked at me but she was deliberately ignoring me, looking around the table at everyone but me. Jazz kept looking at both of us questioningly, obviously wondering what was happening between us, while Rosalie was still shooting me angry looks.

I ignored her.

When we got home from school, I went straight to my room, feeling miserable and fed up. I wished I hadn't realised that I liked her. It was driving me crazy now because I had to talk to her, had to ask her out, I had to see her. I picked up my cell and started dialling her number. Just as the phone was about to ring, I quickly cut it off, wondering what the hell I was going to say to her.

I put the phone back down and paced around my room.

I wanted to talk to her and I wanted to see her. I picked up my keys. I would go over to her house, I decided, and talk to her there, face to face.

I got down the stairs and was on my way to the front door when I saw it opening slowly.

Carlisle walked in.

"Edward!" he said, smiling brightly at me.

"Uncle C, you're back." I said, surprised.

"Yes." He said, "I've missed far too many days off work, I need to catch up on a lot. Where are you off to this evening?"

"Err, nowhere really, I was just...going for a drive."

"Oh right. Before you go will you follow me up to my office for a moment? I want to talk to you quickly."

"Uh, sure."

We walked up the stairs and into his office. He sat down at his desk, while I stood in front of it waiting anxiously.

He fiddled about with the papers on his desk for a few minutes, mumbling to himself. I started tapping my foot on the floor. I was getting impatient.

Finally, he looked up from his papers and smiled.

"Don't look so worried Edward. I have some good news."

I stood still, watching him, waiting for him to continue.

"Your mom has left the clinic now." He said, and the relief that flooded me was so overwhelming that I had to sit at the edge of the desk.

"Really?" I said, "So she's back at home now?"

"Yes. Of course she will be regularly monitored by the hospital so they can see how she's coping, but she doesn't mind that, she's just pleased to be in her own home again."

I beamed.

"And..." Carlisle paused, smirking at me, "She wants to see you."

I was immobilised for a second, staring at Carlisle as he grinned at me. I couldn't take it in.

"What? She wants to see me now?"

Carlisle nodded. "See, I told you to give her time."

The happiness that surged through me was unbelievable. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or dance. All thoughts were immediately gone from my head; all I could think of was my mom. I had missed her so much, I was so worried that she hated me; that I would never see her again, and now, here Carlisle was telling me I could go and see her, telling me I could go home.

All I could do was stand there, my smile stretched so wide that my cheeks were starting to ache.

Carlisle laughed.

"Glad to see you're pleased with the news."

"When can I go?" I asked quickly.

"Well, whenever you want to really, and you can stay for a few nights too. But the maximum time I'll allow you to miss school for is a week. So please don't stay longer than a week."

I had stopped listening at 'whenever you want really.'

"Can I leave tonight?"

"Well..." he looked at his watch, "Hmmm....I think it's a little late tonight. But you can leave tomorrow morning if you want."

"Ok."

I could barely hold in my excitement. I turned and ran out of Carlisle's office, wanting to go and start packing, when I suddenly remembered. I turned around and walked sheepishly back to the room.

"Sorry, I err got a little excited. I forgot to say, Thank you uncle C."

He was still smiling.

"Edward, you have nothing to thank me for, I didn't force her to want to see you."

"I know, but I mean, thanks for, you know, everything really. I've never really said it to you guys since I moved here."

His smile grew wider.

"You're Welcome."

Author's Note:

Thanks to everyone subscribing and adding my story to their favourites and reviewing and reading! It's sooo appreciated.

Savannah-Vee