It was another week before Faolan got a reply from the letter she wrote to Christopher Alaska. The scribbled words that were in a hand at once unfamiliar and familiar spoke to Faolan of a tired soul, a weary soul. He suggested that Faolan bring Morgan Derry to the front once he had enough control- though not to fight, just so they could be near Christopher Alaska when he wasn't actively fighting. He was intrigued by Faolan's idea of a different way to gain true control, and by the long paragraphs about Gifts and manipulations of them, he was quite eager to find a way to create the illusion Faolan spoke of.
The idea of going to the front repulsed Faolan- she wanted to be no where near the war, but if it meant getting Morgan true control without murder… She'd do almost anything. A few hours after getting the letter, Faolan went to Dante, and told him she wanted to go to the front with Morgan once he had enough control, because she and Christopher Alaska had an idea about gaining true control- one that, if they could work it out, could, presumably, end the war. Faolan hated making such high estimates but she didn't think Dante would let her go otherwise. To her luck, he agreed.
However, Morgan had to gain that control before they went, and she figured she'd need a few months for that, and that was only if she made him Change on days that weren't the full moon. And she definitely wouldn't mind spending more time with Raleigh- for that matter, she didn't particularly want to go the Front at all, except for the sake of Morgan and to see Christopher Alaska again.
The months passed by quicker than Faolan could have ever imagined.
OOO
"Herald Faolan, you may now rise as Herald Faolan Sommer," the Priest said, and Faolan stood up, resplendent in formal Whites. William, Rathmir, Maemi, and Kayin all stood behind her, and when Faolan turned around she met their grins with an identical one of her own.
"Welcome to the family," Rathmir said and the five of them fell into a large group embrace.
Faolan thought she'd never felt so happy… And some day, her last name would change again. Faolan Van den Acker…
OOO
"That's it! Hold it Morgan!" Faolan shouted as the large black werewolf drew his anger through him, let it flow out, then relaxed. His entire body lost its tension and he relaxed, sitting down on his haunches to peer at Faolan, his eyes glittering with elation. He'd probably be able to stay calm for the rest of the time he was in werewolf form- but the next time it'd take a while to settle down again. Especially since what incited the Change best when it wasn't the full moon was powerful emotion. Morgan certainly didn't lack for powerful emotions- not after all he'd been through. What Faolan wanted now was for that powerful emotion to be joy instead of anger or grief. For joy would truly release his spirit in wolf form, let the Change be a gift instead of a torture.
"Change back now," Faolan instructed him, shifting herself a bit to get comfortable in her sitting position on the stone floor of Morgan's Changing room. He obeyed her, and she gently averted her eyes as he pulled his clothing on again.
"That was excellent," Faolan said with a smile, "You've really come along. A lot quicker than I did… though I suppose my first training had a different goal in mind- one of submission, of pushing away all emotion instead of letting it be."
"It's… been hard," Morgan agreed, "The human instinct is to drive away that powerful rage and hide the grief… To be werewolf means confronting one's emotion, and people often aren't very good at that in this world. Instead of pushing it away… it just runs its course."
"Exactly," Faolan said with a smile, "I couldn't have put it better myself. I think next full moon you and I might go for a run in the Companion's Field… How about it?"
Morgan glanced at her sharply, and she saw a whisper of fear in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared and he nodded, "All right."
"You won't bite anyone, Morgan," she assured him, "I am confident of that. Your first Changes were overwhelmed with anger- in there was the danger. No longer. Anger is there, but you won't direct it at any humans… You know… my old teacher, a werewolf named Skylar… he once told me we weren't human, because they'd rejected us. He said we were werewolves, not humans… He wasn't a born werewolf… like you and I. If I hadn't been a Herald I would have believed him because so much of what that means is true. Most people don't consider werewolves human, they hunt them down, kill them like wild animals… I want that to change in Valdemar, Morgan. I think we could do it to- if this war ever ends…"
"You think you will find the answer with your friend, Christopher Alaska?" Morgan inquired softly, though they'd been over it before.
"Maybe," Faolan whispered, looking at the floor between them, "If you can gain true control without murder, then yes. But that is a very big if. Very big."
OOO
"You do not need to see me anymore, Herald Faolan," Healer Valentine said, clasping Faolan's shoulder as he walked her out of the House of Healing. Fao glanced over at him, wondering if he was going to say anymore. He was.
"I have heard a lot of tales that were difficult to tell and hear, but none has been stranger than yours, Faolan," the old Healer said, giving Faolan a smile from beneath twinkling eyes, "But that is Heralds for you, I suppose. Once you almost have them defined as normal in your mind then along comes one to show you just how odd they can get!"
Faolan smiled at him, pausing as they passed through the main entrance to the House of Healing and stood out in the cold of the coming winter, and informed him, "I usually can't comprehend it myself."
"I think I'm glad I don't remember my past lives," Valentine said thoughtfully, looking up at the cold blue sky, "I think it would confuse me too much."
"You probably never will," Faolan said with a sigh, wondering what it would be like to be an Empath Healer. She had Empathy, but she didn't use it to Heal as a Healer did… She just used it whenever it came in handy. Healer Valentine was the only one, aside from Raul, Rolan and Raleigh that knew the entire story in its full truth and it was comforting to have someone that was almost entirely normal to know it, and accept her as she was.
"You're a wonderful person," Faolan informed the Healer, then hugged him, "Thank you for helping me."
"You've been a pleasure to help," Valentine answered, hugging her back, then shaking her hand, "Good luck, Herald."
OOO
Raleigh laughed, and Faolan turned, her tongue lolling out as she perked her ears towards him curiously. He was leaning on a cane, bundled up in warm furs as his breath steamed out in front of him from the late autumn/early winter chill. A dead garden hung around them, looking forlorn and empty but beautiful anyway. Raleigh was laughing at Faolan's exuberance in wolf form as she chased winter sparrows for his amusement. She almost caught a few too- except that she didn't think Raleigh would appreciate watching her gobble down a small bird, nor would the gardeners appreciate the blood. And she didn't need the meat, though sometimes she wished the kitchens cooked theirs a little more rare.
She stopped her bird chasing and padded across the cold stones to the healing man, pressing her nose into the gloved hand that did not rest heavily on the cane. His fingers ran up her face and buried into the thick fur on her back, stroking her gently. Faolan sat down and leaned against him, just enough to half support him, rather than burden him.
:I think I'll go Change back in a moment,: she told him, speaking into his mind:As much as I enjoy my wolf form I'd like to join you for dinner and half fingers to be able to eat with.:
"You could use your tongue," Raleigh pointed out with a grin, looking down at Faolan with his soft brown eyes.
:And eat what? Salad?: she grinned wolfishly at him:I'm afraid I only like large, extremely undercooked meat while in wolf form.:
"I'm sure we could arrange for that…" Raleigh teased, glancing up at the cloudy gray sky.
:One would almost think you WANT me in wolf form,: Faolan accused:I was under the impression when I was Carry-:
Raleigh cut her short with a laugh and a shove with his fingers, looking down at her again, and said, "Don't be silly, Faolan, of course I want you in human form. All I meant was that if you want to stay as a wolf, we can still have dinner together."
:I know,: Faolan answered, gazing up at him with yellow wolf eyes:I was just teasing you.:
"I know," Raleigh answered, "I was playing along."
OOO
The moon hung full and heavy, peaking through the thick white clouds that had sneaked in around sunset. It shone above the two werewolves as they stalked through the dark trees in the Companion's Field, frost dusted grass crunching beneath their paws. The night was almost through, and the moon was sinking towards the horizon. The larger werewolf, entirely black, moved slightly ahead of the other, his body betraying a tense sort of excitement as he inhaled the world through all his senses.
:It's wonderful, isn't it?: Faolan inquired into Morgan Derry's head. He couldn't answer- he didn't have either of the forms of telepathy. Faolan recalled him mentioning he had Fetching, but she wasn't sure. It had never really mattered in their context.
However, Morgan did pause and glance back, giving her an acknowledging nod then stopped. His nose twitched and Faolan sensed something within him- a purely werewolf desire. She came to stand beside him, the pointed her nose at the moon and let out a ghostly, eerie howl that echoed across the Collegia. Morgan answered her, adding his voice to hers. It made Faolan want to run from Haven into the wilds, just be a wolf forever, rejoicing in the wonders of the form. It made her want to laugh and cry at the same time because while it made her happy, it also reminded her of the werewolves she had lost in the war- of Skylar, Taryn, Roscoe… Those she could never return to. Those who had first taught her to howl.
When they were done, Faolan felt something cold touch her nose, and she looked up to realize it had begun to snow. As she and Morgan padded across the Companion's Field, past the some suspicious, some curious blue eyed glances of Companions, their paws began to step on a white layer of snow. She ignored most of the Companions and continued on to the Companion's Stable, where Raul and Genevieve waited in a warm stall. There they guarded two sets of warm whites that had been stripped when the moon's call gripped them.
As dawn came and the moon sunk away, Faolan and Morgan slipped back into human form and donned their human clothing. Human again. For one more day. Faolan looked over at Morgan, caught his human gaze.
"I think it's time to go," she said, resting a hand on Raul.
A/N: A little different, that chapter. I jumped around a bit, trying to convey the three months in a series of flashes instead of writing it all out, which would have been a little boring, I think. Well anyway, thanks for reading and thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter!
StormyPhoenix- Chugging! Woot! Well I shall have to write fast to get Chapter 70 finished in four or five days! As for stretching things out, that's why this chapter was like that. To stop blah blah. :)
ginalee- I don't think I will be writing anything more about Faolan once this story is done but I definitely have some new Mercedes Lackey stories that I'm working on/will be working on. Summaries are found on my profile of all upcoming stories.
The-Elven-Bookworm- Mwahaha.
LightningStorms- Same comment as above. :)
GinaStar- Yeah... as you see she has a LITTLE of that from Valentine in this chapter...
SwiftShadow- Sometimes it is good to stay away from the computer- realize it is possible to live without the internet. ;)