"Last time on Total Drama Island, the campers were put to the test in a game of capture the flag, the teams took turns, doing great and sucking, but in the end it was the turtles who were dried up and were sent to the bonfire, and as it turned out, it was mean girl Deven who was packed up and sent home, for her bitterness towards the other campers, and her not-so-secret alliance with Janice and Jessica, today our campers will either be up FTW or left high and dry, let's see who goes this time, on total…Drama…ISLAND!"

________________________________________________________________________

"Chef, our ratings are going down the tubes man," Chris said slumped over at a desk crying.

"What do you want me to do? Chef said.

"I don't know, find me a new villain, and I want someone good, not like goody goody, but like evilly good," Chris stated with one final sniffle.

"Okay then," Chef said shrugging as he left the room. The tired campers groggily entered the mess hall, Ken sat down, he fell asleep and his face slammed into the table leaving an indent. All the other campers walked like zombies to the lunch trays, picked one up and walked to get their food, Chef served an even nastier looking green slop, with little yellow and brown specks in it. Jessica barfed and Travis fainted.

"Okay, that looks gross," Shane said.

"But your gonna eat it," Chef said angrily.

"What? No fair! Why should I have to suffer?" Shane asked.

"You insult my food, you HAVE to eat it," Chef said as he scooped up a spoonful of it and shoved it into Shane's mouth, Shane gagged and fell on the floor gasping for air, (and a barf bag) everyone else sat in horror as Shane fainted from the food, at that moment everyone dropped their trays and ran out of the mess hall, without even a word or a bite to eat.

"Enough Chef," Chris said, "today we will have a talent show, so pick three people from your team that you think are talented enough."

"Alright, auditions," Janice said.

"Ooo, ooo, ooo!, pick me pick me!" Payton said.

"Okay…Payton," Janice said, "what can you do?"

"I can sing Hannah Montana songs," Payton stated.

"Hannah Montana?!" Ryan said as he slapped himself in the forehead, "You joking man, what a lame talent."

Payton turned around angrily, his eyes looked like they were burning, his hair stood up straight and his glasses tinted, "Don't you ever insult Hannah Montana," Payton said in a very deep voice.

"YIPES" Ryan shrieked, "d…dude calm down, you might actually hurt me…" Ryan said as he chuckled and ducked away.

"You doubt me don't you?" Payton said in an even deeper voice, he then began to sing a Hannah Montana song beautifully, (sounding exactly like Miley Cyrus) and gracefully finished it off with a bow.

"uhhh…that was so…lame…," Ryan sulked.

"Well I loved it," Janice said, "good job Payton, you did great!"

"Who died and made you leader, sweet cheeks?" Ryan asked.

"Well since Deven is gone, I figured I'd take her role as team captain," Janice said.

"Your our team captain now?" Hayden asked, "and since when was Deven our captain, I thought Jay was."

"Yeah, Deven ain't have no leadership skills, she deserved to go, if she was supposed to be a villain, she really didn't work it too well," Lala stated.

"Besides, and no offense Janice, I don't think you have the right leadership qualities," Jay said.

"Well I think she's a great leader," Payton said.

(confessional)

Payton: what else was I supposed to say, I mean she's the only one on the team who thought I was good, oh well, this is to be used to my advantage.

Janice: why don't I have leadership qualities, I mean it's not like Jay has them, that's for sure.

Jessica: ooo… a talent show, time to show off how great I look in a bathing suit!

(end)

"Okay guys, who is talented enough to compete on a stage," Lauren asked.

"Hmmm…? What's your talent princess?" Ken asked.

"For your information it just so happens to be…to be…," Lauren stopped to think for a minute, but her mind froze.

"Maybe a kiss would help jog your memory, hmmm?" Ken asked.

"Uhhh…get real," Lauren said, "I have undiscovered talents, that can definitely beat anything you can do."

"Oh yeah," Ken said, he then pulled out three bowling pins and began to juggle, every three cycles he added another one. "ahem…," he coughed.

"Well, that's one talent found," Charlie said clapping, now we only need two more.

"What?!" Lauren questioned, "were seriously using that crap?"

"Yeah, it was good, I bet you REALLY wanna kiss him now, huh Lauren," Shane laughed.

"You wanna retaste chefs food?!" Lauren asked.

(gulps) "hehe, n…no…," Shane shivered at the thought of the food from that morning.

"Alright, we still need two more you guys, luckily, I can play the guitar," Jay said proudly.

"Okay then, go for it," Janice said. Jay played a song on the guitar and sang to it, he turned out to be pretty good, even catching May-Mays attention, which was hard to do.

"GREAT JOB, WAY TO GO MAN, WOOT!" Everyone cheered, except for Janice who was still mad about his earlier comment about her not having good leadership skills.

"No, I refuse to put that in my talent show," Janice folded her arms.

"YOUR TALENT SHOW?!" Lala asked, "alright baby, your in, I don't know what she's talkin about, girls crazy.

"Alright guys, I can dance," Charlie said proudly.

"Yeah, me too," Christian said as he began to dance too, music played in the background.

"Well Chris didn't say anything about not being able to do team acts, so I guess you're both in," Ken said.

"Fine, but if we lose, don't come crying to me," Lauren stomped away angrily.

"Princess has got some royal issues, eh Kenny?" Christian said.

"Yeah, yeah, hold on a sec," Ken said as he followed her.

"One more person, we've gotta figure out, who it's gonna be," Hayden said.

"ME!" Janice stated.

"No…me," Jessica said as she walked out in her favorite bikini.

"HOT MAMA!" Hayden's eyes nearly pooped out of his head, "Sorry Janice, but this is to good of an opportunity to pass up!"

"Pervert…," Janice mumbled.

"Hey, what's wrong princess?" Ken asked Lauren.

"If you really must know, you guys are selecting people to be in this talent show, without first consulting me, THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" Lauren shouted.

"That's it, are you kidding me?" Ken asked.

"Well, let me have a chance," Lauren said.

"Okay, well let's hear your talent," Ken said.

"Never mind, how about Molly?" Lauren asked.

"Uhhh…sure, I'll go ask her," Ken stated, Ken ran up to talk to Molly, whom was more than happy to show her talent, she ran into the girls cabin and grabbed two beakers and a bunch of chemicals labeled 'toxic', then she ran outside, placed them on the table and began to work.

"Alright, now if I mix this and this and this and this and this and THIS!" Molly spoke very fast, "I get…TADA, the greatest soda ever made!"

"I'll be the judge of that," Christian said as he snatched the soda, "hmmm…AMAZING! I say she's in."

"Alright, we got our people, let's go!" Ken said.

"Alright campers, welcome to Total Drama Talent Night, please take your seats so we can begin," Chris smiled, "okay here's the deal, Chef is a very hardcore judge, so your performances will be rated via Chef-o-meter, once your performance is done, you will wait for your rating and then return to the bleachers and sit back down, and without further ado, we begin! Chickens your up first." Molly stepped up onto the stage and brought out her chemicals, she began to mix them, adding every single drop of every chemical she had, when she was done, she handed chef the concoction.

"Drink it," Molly said.

"You sure this is safe?" Chef asked as he tipped it towards his mouth.

"It's soda, of course it's safe," Molly stated as Chef took a sip.

"SODA?!" Chef screamed, "Do you know what caffeine does to me, you coulda told me that before I sipped it."

"He's gonna blow," Chris said, "EVERYBODY TAKE COVER!" Chef then flew into a blind rage, swinging his arms and running through everything in his way and totally destroying Molly's chemistry set, he then crashed into the cliff and fainted. "Phew it's over," Chris breathed, "alright, since Chef is out cold, we'll have to have a short commercial break until he wakes up."

________________________________________________________________________

Man: New McClain perfume, it smells just like Chris, from the hit Total Drama series, Men if you wanna attract a pretty lass, by McClain perfume, (begins talking fast) McClain perfume may not be right for you, if you are not narcissistic, torturous, evil, rich, self-centered, or a reality show host, send McClain perfume back and we will refund half of your money *maybe*. (Talks slow again) and also try, new McClain hairspray, now you don't only have to smell like him, but you can look like him too. (Man removes mask revealing himself to be Chris) ORDER NOW!

________________________________________________________________________

(confessional)

Chef: Nearly dying makes a man realize something and that is…failing them in the talent show competition.

(end)

"One!" Chef said as he returned to the table, the barely visible light lit up on the Chef-o-meter, the ashamed Molly returned to her seat in the bleachers.

"Alright, next up we have…Jessica, from the Turtles," Chris said, "this should be interesting…" Jessica stepped out in her bikini, and strutted down the runway, getting looks from all the boys, the girls looked away and some rolled their eyes, Shane whistled and jumped up on the stage.

"You look gorgeous," Shane smiled.

"Awww, thanks Smith, you're so sweet," Jessica said as she turned around and headed back to the end of the stage and disappeared.

"IT'S SHANE," he screamed, slumping back into his seat.

"Three," Chef said, "modeling isn't a talent."

"Next up, we have Charlie and Christian, performing a dance of sorts," Chris said as he gestured towards the stage.

"Hit it Charles!" Christian pointed at him,

"You got it Gill," Charlie said as he pressed a button on a stereo and they both began to dance. As the dance progressed Christian and Charlie both turned around at the same time, and bumped into each other, Charlie fell off the stage, Christian fell into a rope, his arm bumped a switch, which caused the rope to lift him up.

"HAHAHA!" Chef laughed, "That was hysterical, but it was supposed to be a dance, so…two." Christian and Charlie both sighed as they returned to their seats.

"Next we have Jay!" Chris shouted. Jay took out his guitar and began to sing a love song, directed at a certain girl on his team, he looked over and smiled at her, she smiled back, as he finished, he got up, bowed and walked offstage.

"Eight," Chef stated.

"And the finale for the Chickens is…KEN!" Chris screamed. Ken came out riding on a unicycle, with three bowling pins, just like his audition, every third cycle, he pulled another pin out of his jacket and added it, when he got to ten, he threw them all up in the air, when they came down, they landed perfectly in a bowling type fashion, he then jumped the unicycle and let it roll towards the pins, it hit them getting a perfect strike, Ken then bowed and got off the stage.

"Nine," Chef said, "but just because I hate show offs."

"And now for the Turtles final person, Payton," Chris said. Payton stepped up to the microphone, cleared his throat, and began to sing (once again) exactly like Miley Cyrus, Janice OOOed and AHHed, Ryan gagged, Hayden snickered, and Ken covered his eyes. Payton finished.

"Thank you, thank you," Payton said in his normal voice, he walked offstage.

"Perfect ten," Chef screamed, "How'd you know I was a huge Hannah Montana fan?"

"I didn't, but that's awesome!" Payton shouted.

"He beat me? ME?!" Molly screamed.

"He beat all of us somehow," Ken said.

"Yes, and you know what that means Chickens, it's bonfire time!" Chris screamed excitedly.

"Crap, that's right," Ken slapped his forehead.

"But…everyone who didn't compete in the talent show is invincible, meaning only Molly, Ken, Christian, and Charlie are eligible for vote off tonight," Chris stated.

"WHAT?!" the four mentioned contestants screamed.

"You guys willingly competed, not my fault buds," Chris laughed.

(confessional)

Charlie: that's a downer, I hate downers…

Molly: Allergic? To caffeine, what a joke?

Christian: We rode that challenge further into the ocean, now I just wanna get back out, before to many of us drown.

Ken: Aww man, another bonfire after so long…ughhh…this stinks…

(end)

I NEED A LIST OF FEARS FROM ALL CONTESTANTS PLEASE!