First off, with my brother and sister-in-law and niece coming up for three weeks I wont be able to update as much but I promise not to forget you, this just means that I might only get to update once or twice a week at absolute best. And this also means that I wont be able to work on the story as much… This is going to be a long three weeks for me. Mrslautner28 (Mrs. Lautner has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? ~Looks into space and smiles~) My uncle died this year which is where I got the physical description from because how he looked to me, just… dead. And Ailish I dunno how I'm gonna with the heat ~wink wink~ descriptions but I won't give up on you lol I promise =] and Chay2193, here is your update!! Enjoy Girls =]

15) Honesty

I felt my body stirring and noticed my cheeks pressed heavily upon something soft and hot; Jacobs thigh.

His fingers were sizzling and kind as they pulled their way through my hair and brushed it off my cheeks before I opened my eyes and looked at what I was faced with; his muscled stomach.

I let my eyes trail over his stomach and chest and crawl up his neck to his lips and eventually his eyes slowly. I wanted to relish the fact that this body was mine to touch and hold and one day love.

The corners of Jacob's eyes creased as he smiled down at me.

"Ahhh, we're awake now are we?" he laughed with a tender stroke across my lips. I kissed his fingers quickly before he thought about pulling them away.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

I pushed his hand away from me so I could stretch my arms above my head and roll onto my back.

"What the—!" I yelped.

I recognized Uncle Emmett's laughter erupt through the room and stared at the ceiling from where I had landed flat on the floor.

"Ow!" I exclaimed stupidly as Jacob picked me up of the ground and set me in front of him.

"You okay, honey?" he asked with a hardly disguised smile.

"Fine," I muttered bitterly as I dusted my white sweat pants off and moved my arms for Jacob to rearrange the hem of my green singlet. "You can laugh, you know."

"No, I'm not going to laugh. It wasn't funny," he said as he held my hands and kissed my palms.

"Then why are you smiling?"

"'Cos you look just as beautiful when you're shocked as you do when you wake up. And I got them twined together."

I frowned at his words, not understanding them, and Jacob pulled me to sit sideways in his lap.

"Take it as a compliment, baby," he pecked my cheek and dipped his head to rest on my shoulder.

I turned my head to kiss his forehead as my parents came through the door. My father glared at Jacob and hissed, which Jacob responded to with a fierce snarl.

"Cut it out! Both of you!" I nipped as I pushed myself free from Jacob's arms and stood next to my mother with my arms crossed.

"Nessie," Jacob pleaded. "Come back here, honey. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well that's what you said last time. What is the problem between you two and me? Why are you always challenging each other?"

"Sweetheart, it's a—"

I cut my father off with a rather snappy "Don't even try the 'it's-a-long-story' trick, Dad. I deserve more than that, just tell me what the problem is!"

The room was silent as everyone stared at the ground. Jacob, typically, was the first person to look at me, and address me to ask if I really wanted to know.

"Yes!" I breathed. "Yes, I want to know because I don't understand. Tell me, Jacob. Tell me, please."

Jacob's eyes searched mine for a long moment before he patted the seat beside him. I went and sat on the couch across from him with my legs crossed and my arms hugging my body.

Jacob looked at me and groaned before he dropped his head in his hands. He sat there and shook his head, lightly smacking the side of his head so I got up and grabbed his hand. I forced his hand to relax and twisted my fingers through his and he enclosed my hand and drew it to his lips to kiss it.

"If you don't tell her, I will. So hurry up," Dad told Jacob.

Jacob raised his head to glare at Dad so I grabbed his chin and repositioned his glare to me. It quickly turned to a look of love and admiration and I smoothed my finger over his brow to dissolve the frown.

"Please," was all I whispered to him.

"Remember the day me and you're Dad had a disagreement?"

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes when he described the conflict as a disagreement but nodded my head to show that I remembered.

"Do you remember what your Dad asked me?"

I puckered my brow as I sought through the horrible memory.

"Did I know what you did to me? Did I know what you wanted to do to me? Jacob, what does that mean?" I asked him.

"You know about the pack, right? You know our legends?"

"Yes."

"There was one legend I never told you because I didn't think you were ever ready. I didn't think you ever need to know, to be honest."

I raised an eyebrow at him as an invitation to go on. When he bit his lip I ran a finger over it until he released it.

"Elaborate," I told him.

"One of the legends was that each wolf was attracted to one person; the person that had the best chance of passing on the wolf genes; we call this imprinting. We never really have a decision, but we are dedicated to our imprints; we will protect them, fight for them, love them, and comfort them. We will do anything and everything we can for them. If they ask for something, we have to give it to them. All we want is for them to be safe and happy. We have no life without our imprints; they are our air, our sun. They are our gravity to the earth, and they alone hold the strings for our existence; if they let go, if they leave, so do we."

"Yeah… so?" I pressed for him to continue.

"Ness, honey…" he squeezed my hand tighter and looked at me.

Oh!

I blinked.

Oh… Wait… what?! Did he? Am I...? No…I found myself denying.

"Nessie, you're my imprint. I imprinted on you the day you were born, honey. You're my life," he spoke into my eyes.

My breathing hitched and I gazed at our hands.

"What about what you wanted to do to me, Jake?"

"Nessie, you know I love you more than anything; more than my own life. Baby, I would die for you," he said as he cupped my face in his huge hands and made me look at him.

"What did you want to do to me, Jacob?!" I whispered to him. I frowned and tried to come off as threatening but the pain in my eyes must have given me away because he reached around me and held me close, kissing my neck and shoulder affectionately.

Despite what my head was screaming not to do, my arms wrapped around him and held him. My face ducked into the crook of his neck and I fought back cries.

"Just. Tell. Me"

"I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to…kill you."

His voice pierced through me smoothly. There was pain, but it was much worse than the pain that made me cry out loud, this was the silent pain. The type of pain where my heart was sliced, not torn at, so there wasn't anytime for noise. Just the pain.

I could have sworn my heart stopped. I know my breathing stopped, and I know my eyes unfocused and my ears drowned out any sounds around me.

He never wanted me. He was going to kill me. He would have killed me if he didn't imprint on me… and the imprint; he didn't have a choice. He has to love what he loathes. He has to live for me, for what he despises. He doesn't love me.

My heart began beating again, much, much faster than what was normal, and I drove myself free of Jacob's hold and raced through the door.

"Aww, crap!" I heard Jacob swear when I was near the forest.

"Leave her!" my father snapped.

"Edward, leave him! Renesmee needs him. He's the only one that can do anything for her right now; let him go," Mom argued.

I didn't hear anymore words spoken and obliged my body to run to its full extent. I didn't know where I was running but I let my feet trek whatever ground they wanted to. I stopped in the middle of a clearing to catch my breath and figure out what my head and body wanted to do.

It wasn't that hard to come to an agreement; my head wanted to scream and my body wanted to cry. So that's what I did, I screamed and I cried.

I laid flat on the ground and sheltered my head in my arms, sobbing my heart and mind into the soft green grass.

"Nessie," Jacob's hand came down to press against my back and I shrugged out from his touch. Turning and staring at him, I rose to my feet and screamed at him.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU NEVER WANTED TO LOVE ME! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! HOW COULD YOU EVER LOVE SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO KILL, JACOB?! TO KILL! HOW CAN YOU TURN TO ME AND SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME?! YOU DON'T LOVE ME, THE MAGIC DOES!" My head was rupturing painfully so I pressed my hands to my temple and breathed, "The magic never gave you a choice, so just leave."

I didn't want him to leave. I knew that as soon as I thought it but my mouth wouldn't obey my commands to stop talking before I spat the words to him.

The look in his eyes told me that I had wounded him seriously, and my heart broke. I watched as tears sprang up in his eyes and wanted more than anything to wrap my arms around him and kiss him better, kiss his tears away. I wanted more than anything to tell him that I loved him.

"Nessie…" His voice was strained; he was trying to control his pain so he could be strong. For both of us.

That was so like him.

"It's not love, Jacob. Just leave," I whispered as I stood there defeated with my arms lowered and my hands balled into fists, the nails dug uncomfortably at my palms but I ignored them. My head drooped because I refused to look at him.

I refused to look at what I had done to him.

"Nessie, the imprint protected you from me. It protected you from me long enough for me to see that you are for me. Nessie, baby, I really, truly love you. How can I prove that to you?" he whispered softly.

I shut my eyes tight against the tears that shed and shook my head. He was all of a sudden there, folding me into his arms and consoling me. I let my body collapse into him and he held me with ease.

"I'm here. I will always be here, just like I will always love you. Baby, I'm here," he kissed my forehead devotedly as I succumbed to the full effect of my whimpers.

Perhaps he did love me.