"Padfoot, I really screwed up."
Sirius looked up to see James standing in the doorway with tears running down his face. He struggled to control them for a moment before letting them flow. Sirius had never seen James cry in the six years he's known him for. He decided that this might be a good time to be sympathetic.
"How?" He asked softly. This was sympathetic since Sirius was not a soft person at all. He thought he was being very nice.
"I don't even know." Came James' heartbroken reply. He drew a jagged breath as he sat down on the edge of Sirius' bed, his face in his hands. "One minute she was right there in my arms, the next she was gone. Said it was all an accident. I don't know what I did wrong, and if I don't know how can I fix it? Love sucks, Sirius, don't try it."
James sounded truly dejected. Sirius really wanted to fix James' problem, but he knew the only one who could was James himself. Or possibly Lily Evans. If he let her.
"You want to talk about it?" Sirius asked quietly. Sirius wasn't usually quiet, either, so this was very sympathetic. He was getting good at being sympathetic.
"No." Came James' blunt reply.
"Okay." Sirius answered, knowing what was coming next. James was quiet for a moment, just long enough to make Sirius think he was wrong.
"Why does she hate me so much? I mean, all the other girls want me, but the only one I want doesn't. I think this is what Hell is." James nearly bawled the words, and then suddenly he was pouring out his feelings to Sirius. Everything. "We were right there, sitting on the top of the tower. I showed her something and expected her to appreciate it, but no! She had to wreck it! She said it was beautiful and I said it was just like her. Then… she kissed me. Damn, she's good at it, too."
James stopped talking then. Sirius was pretty sure of the rest of the story. He looked up to see James' pale face. James was fighting an internal battle and Sirius desperately wanted to help, to save his best friend.
"It's gonna be alright, mate."
"No! No, it's not!" James erupted. He was angry now. "I knew right then that I had everything I would ever need. Everything I would ever want. Then she ripped it right out of my hands. Do you know what that feels like? Do you know what having your soul ripped out feels like? Do you have any idea how much it hurts?"
"No. I don't." Sirius said gently. Sirius wasn't a gentle person, either. He was letting James blow his stack because he felt it was cleansing for the soul. Although, he also thought blowing up expensive things was cleansing for the soul.
"And then I did the stupidest thing I've ever done." James said. James had done some fairly stupid things in his life, so, as you can imagine, this was quite impressive indeed.
"Stupider than trying to make your three-year-old brother do the Unbreakable Vow?" Sirius then remembered that that was him who had done that. He noticed this when James looked at him as though he was crazy. Mind you, Sirius was crazy. He was told this every time he tried to do something 'outrageous' as Dumbledore said.
"Worse. I told her I'd give her what she had wanted since our first year. I was going to leave her alone and I'd never speak to her again." James was really quiet after that.
James started crying on the word 'never'.
"But you know what, Sirius?"
"What?"
"I don't think I can do it."
Sirius had never heard those words come out of James' mouth unless he was mocking a young, terrified child. Then it hit him. James was completely and hopelessly lost in love with Lily Evans. Sirius swore he heard his heart hit the floor it sunk so fast. James was chasing a girl who would break his heart over and over. And he couldn't stop.