SONG: Radiohead - 15 Step

Chapter 27

Monster

BPOV

The feelings and emotions coursing through my body were overwhelming.

There was so much to take in, so much to think about. I was walking over to the cafeteria with Edward Cullen, after I had just made out with him.

I had just made out against a wall with Edward Cullen.

It was hard to comprehend the events that had just occurred over the last hour. I probably wouldn't have believed they really happened if Edward wasn't walking next to me right this minute. Not to mention the evidence of the dampness between my legs.

I was euphoric.

Edward did like me, and he had told me so himself. His jealousy over finding out that I kissed Jake had caused him to finally open up. To let me know how he felt about me, instead of me having to find out information from Alice, who found out information from Jasper, so I couldn't really be sure whether it was true or not. Instead of trying to figure out the emotions in his eyes, the meaning of the glances he shot me. He finally just told me. And I couldn't help opening up to him about how I felt about the whole thing with Tanya. And ok, I still had a problem with it, but he had explained to me what had really happened between them, and although Alice had basically told me the same thing he'd just said, I had only really believed it after he told me himself.

I was also guilty.

Because there was still Jake to think about. And yes, I did like Jake, but not in the same way I liked Edward. Jake was fun to hang out with, he was a great friend. Though I had been unfair to him by letting him kiss me, because friends don't kiss friends like that do they? I knew that he liked me, a lot, and he didn't try to hide the way he felt about me. I had tried to convince myself, when Edward was away for the week, that I did like Jake the way I liked Edward, tried to convince myself that I wasn't using Jake to try and replace Edward, to try and get back at Edward. But the truth was; I actually was doing that. Sure, I liked his kisses, but that was only because, well, they were kisses, I mean, who didn't like to be kissed? And now, I was at a loss as to what I was going to say to him. I obviously couldn't keep seeing him all the time and kissing him if I wanted to start dating Edward. But what would I say to him? He would be so hurt.

I was still aroused.

God, I thought Jake's kiss on the couch was hot, but Edward's....Edward's was on another level of hotness. I blushed as I thought of it, heat slowly beginning to spread between my legs. He was glancing at me, a puzzled look on his face as we walked, probably wondering why I was blushing. I tried to not look at him. Tried not to think of the way his lips felt on mine, the way his tongue felt in my mouth, the way his soft hair felt in my hands, the way his toned body felt, pressed on mine, the way his erection rubbed against me, feeling so good I just wanted to...

"Are you ok?"

There was that question again. I couldn't help smiling at it. Edward was looking at me questioningly. My face must have been scarlet.

"Um, yeah, I'm fine." I said, trying not to look at him.

He looked at me for a moment longer; then turned his gaze as we continued walking.

I was still blushing though; I could feel my face still hot. This was because I still couldn't keep my mind off of that kiss. I thought about how bold I had been, kissing his jaw, lifting my leg up, as he rubbed against me, touching the huge bulge in his pants. But I was just so intoxicated and turned on by him that I couldn't help myself. His beautiful, manly jaw line was just so tempting to kiss, the way he felt thrusting against me was so good that I needed to feel the friction harder, closer on my crotch, and when I looked down and saw how aroused he was because of me, it turned me on more and I just had to...touch it.

I could feel the throbbing between my legs now, my panties growing even wetter as we neared the cafeteria. Of course, I was still bright red and it didn't help that a lot of people were gawking at Edward and I – some even open mouthed – as we walked through the halls and stood in the line in the cafeteria. We weren't holding hands or anything, but we were walking quite close and I had never walked the halls with him before. I internally groaned at the stories that would have, no doubt, have been concocting inside their heads. Forks High students lived on gossip.

Edward and I walked over to our lunch table and I sat next to Alice, as usual, while he sat next to Emmett. I blushed impossibly more profusely as everyone at our table stared at us as we sat down. I could see Edward's face also turn that subtle shade of pink again, and I would have smiled if my every move wasn't being scrutinized.

Alice turned to me, her mouth slightly open; eyes wide and questioning; her foot bouncing under the table excitedly. I grimaced. I was certainly not looking forward to the interrogation I would be receiving after school. Of course, I had told her that Edward had come round to my house yesterday and had told her every detail of what had happened, so she had already been eagerly waiting to hear what he would say to me today.

Jessica Stanley was also eyeing me, not even bothering to hide the disdain on her face as she glanced from me to Edward and back again. Jasper was looking at Edward, and for some reason he seemed like he was fighting a smirk. Tyler Crowley glanced at Edward and me quickly, and then went back to eating his lunch. Rosalie looked indifferent, as usual, even rolling her eyes when she spotted Jessica glaring at me, while Emmet didn't even notice us, he was hungrily devouring a burger and fries, not even bothering to look up when we sat down.

I glanced at Edward to find him still blushing. He was looking at his food, trying to seem oblivious to the looks he was receiving.

"Dude, where were you for third period?" Jasper said, a smirk still playing on his lips, "You know your teacher was looking for you. They even had to call you on the announcement thing."

Edward glared at him; still looking adorably pink, then realization dawned on his face.

"Oh shit, there was a track meeting for third period, Coach Durham told me this morning and I told him I'd be there." He groaned, "I totally forgot about it. He's going to kick my ass when I see him. I've already missed a week of track practice."

"So...where were you?" Jasper persisted.

Edward glared at him again before looking at his food and muttering,

"I err, I didn't feel too good...so I...I went outside for a bit, for some air."

Jasper grinned. "Oh, really." He said, looking pointedly in my direction.

I flushed.

What did he know? And how could he know? Did he see us making out? Lunch was awkward and embarrassing. I kept my face down, my hair covering me from all the stares. Occasionally I glanced at Edward and he was also looking down at his food, ignoring the pointed looks and smirks Jasper was shooting him.

Jacob came to meet me after school.

I had driven my truck to school though so I couldn't get on his bike with him which was a relief. He was still going to follow me to my house though, riding behind my truck. As I sat in my truck, about to start the engine, I glanced up to find Edward's gaze on me. He looked kind of mad as he made his way over to his car and got inside.

Great.

When Jacob and I got to my house and I climbed out of my truck, he handed me the pink helmet.

"Where do you want to go today?" he asked, smiling at me.

And I felt horrible.

"Err, Jake? I don't really want to go out anywhere today." I said quietly.

His face fell.

"Oh. Ok." He looked down at his feet, frowning a little.

The guilt I felt at that moment was crushing. I didn't want to stop spending time with Jake. I would have gladly driven around with him on his bike again if he didn't have feelings for me. If I had told him from the first time he kissed me, that I didn't like him like that, that I only wanted to be friends.

But I hadn't.

"Well, I err, I'm going to start getting back to College –" He turned to his bike.

"Jake." I called out, "You can come inside if you want, I mean, you don't have to go just because we're not going anywhere."

His face lit up instantly and I couldn't help smiling, even though there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't quite place my finger on.

We went inside and sat on the couch in the living room, watching TV. After a while, I noticed Jake glancing at me again. I knew what he wanted to do, his eyes darting to my lips, and I couldn't let him. I couldn't kiss him again. He scooted closer to me on the couch and I stood up quickly, trying to look nonchalant.

"I'm kind of hungry Jake. You want something to eat?"

He stared at me a moment. "Sure."

I hurried over to the kitchen, sighing in relief. A moment later Jake was in the kitchen too. He had followed me in there and was leaned against the counter, eyeing me suspiciously as I opened up the cupboards, searching for something to make.

"Shit. My dad hasn't been grocery shopping yet. There's barely any food in the house. Sorry Jake."

I turned to him. He was still looking at me suspiciously, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Don't worry about it. We can order something. I'll pay."

"Should we order some Chinese food?" I asked him.

"If you want." He replied – a little abruptly.

I called the restaurant and told them our orders. I asked them to deliver but they said that they couldn't, the distance of my house was too far away, so we had to go and pick up our food.

"I'll go and pick it up." Jake said, "It'll be quicker on my bike."

He left quickly and I heard his engine revving before he drove off. He was mad at me. I mean, he wasn't stupid, he could see that I was acting differently towards him. I felt horrible but it had to be done. It would have been worse if I kept leading him on right?

I watched TV a little, and about ten minutes later there was knock on the door. Wow, Jake was really fast; I thought to myself, it usually took me at least half an hour to pick up my food from that place.

I opened the door to find Edward standing there, his hazel eyes boring into mine as soon I met his gaze.

My heart quickened, a flush immediately covering my face.

He smiled crookedly at me. "Hey."

I just stood there gawping at him, my mouth slightly hanging open.

"Edward...what...what are you doing here?"

He frowned.

"Is it a bad time?" He asked.

I didn't know how to reply. It certainly was a bad time but how could I tell him that? Jake would be at least another ten minutes. Maybe I could get Edward to leave before he got back. I didn't want him to be here when Jake got back. I had a feeling that it would be a problem.

I shook my head and stepped back to let him in.

"Sorry I didn't call." He said, "I just thought I might...surprise you." He smiled.

I managed to smile back.

"So, what were you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing, just watching TV." I said, gesturing over to the TV.

"Ok."

He went and sat down on the couch. This was not good. How was I going to get him to leave? I didn't want him to leave, but how could he stay with Jake already here? That definitely wouldn't work. I sat next to him on the couch, pretending to watch the TV, while nervously glancing at the clock every few minutes.

Edward looked at me. "Are you ok?"

The front door opened before I could answer and I heard Jake's deep voice saying, "I've got the food Bells."

Edward leapt from the couch, obviously thinking it was my dad, and Jake walked into the living room. He froze when he saw Edward, a confused expression on his face as he glanced from Edward to me. I had also stood up and was looking at him, mortified, my face burning up. I could see Edward looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"Who's he?" Jake asked me, completely ignoring Edward.

Edward glared at him.

"Jake, this is Edward, Edward, this is Jake."

Jake frowned, looking at Edward for a moment before turning back to me.

"Ok, but who is he?" he questioned.

I glanced at Edward. His eyes were narrowed, his jaw clenched as he glowered at Jake.

I sighed. "Edward, you should probably go."

He turned to me, incredulous.

"What? Why should I leave?"

I sighed again. "Look, I'll call you and explain everything ok, just leave now, please?"

He stared at me for a moment; then walked out, still glaring at Jake as he brushed past him. I waited until I heard him drive off before I spoke.

"Edward is...he's...a friend from school."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "A friend?" he questioned, "Well, he seemed a little more than a friend, if you know what I mean."

I grimaced.

"Jake –"

"Why was he here anyway Bella? I mean, I go to pick up our food and come back to find some guy here?"

"Look, he just turned up ok; I was trying to get him to leave."

"Oh really? Because it didn't look that way to me. I'm not fucking stupid Bella, ok? I'm eighteen years old and I won't be taken for a fucking idiot."

"Jake, I'm sorry, I –"

"And what the hell? You said you would call him and explain? Explain what?"

I couldn't speak.

Jake shook his head. "I feel so stupid. I thought you liked me Bells. I thought that...maybe we were dating exclusively. I thought... I thought..." he trailed off, pacing into the kitchen.

He put the Chinese food on the kitchen table and came back to the living where I was still standing, frozen in horror.

"You know, I thought something was up with you. I mean, you've been acting different since Monday, but I couldn't think why. And –" he paused, realization suddenly dawning on him, "Yesterday was your dad really off work?"

I looked down at my feet.

He shook his head and walked closer to me, until he was standing just a few inches in front of me.

"I liked you Bella, no I like you, and you know that. I don't know who that guy is to you and frankly, I don't care, I just want you to tell me one thing."

He paused. I was still looking at my feet.

"Look at me Bella." He said, softly.

And I slowly looked up into his dark eyes. I almost winced at the hurt in them.

"Do you, well, did you actually like me?"

I felt like a monster, I could feel the tears prickling my eyes. I so hadn't wanted to hurt Jake. Yes, I did like him, but not the way he wanted, not the way he liked me and it wasn't fair of me to not let him know sooner.

"Jake, I'm so sorry." I said, the tears spilling over, "I –"

He nodded, cutting me off.

"It's fine." He closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again and looked at me. "Bye Bells."

With that he turned and walked out of the front door.

I heard his bike revving, and then the sound of it growing quieter, as he sped away from my house.

Author's Note:

I'm giving you guys quick updates. Please spare a review for my hard work. lol.

Savannah-Vee