Disclaimer: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…

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MINISTRY APPROVED

CHAPTER 2

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MYSTERIOUS THIEF IN THE DEFENCE CORRIDOR

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Harry blinked when a newspaper was held beneath his nose.

He took a step backwards, lifted his glasses to rub his eyes and then reached for the newspaper that thrust at him. "What's that?" he asked, his hand closing around the paper, staring at it confusedly.

"The new, Ministry approved newspaper," Susan said chipperly.

Harry grimaced in disgust. "Now Umbridge restricts our media to those approved by her, too?" he exclaimed and his grip on the paper loosened. "And why are you so chipper about that? I thought you believed me, Susan…"

"I do," Susan said happily. "But I also really like the newspaper. It's one of a kind, you know?"

Harry squinted at her. "Did you lose your mind, Susan?"

"Of course not," Susan Bones replied. "But you have to agree that I have to be seen supporting the ministry to the best of my abilities, what with my aunt being the Head of the DMLE."

"Well… sure," Harry conceded. "But you don't have to be so enthusiastic about it!"

"I don't," Susan immediately agreed. "But then, you haven't read the newspaper, yet."

"I'm not sure that I even want to read it," he said and grimaced.

Susan pouted. "But we put a lot of work in it…"

Harry opened his mouth, stopped and then gawked.

"I… you… what?"

"We put work in it," Susan told him earnestly. "It's a hit. Everyone likes it!"

"Everyone?" Harry looked at Susan in confusion. Then he took a step past her and took a look at the inside of the Great Hall. Inside, nearly everyone – even the Slytherins – was holding a newspaper in their hands. Those, that didn't, were mostly leaning towards their neighbours, reading the paper over their shoulder.

Harry glared.

"Why do they all like it?" he asked unhappily.

"Well… Umbridge took those nice magazines in the usual hiding spots," Susan said with a shrug. "People have to read something, and apparently, the new Ministry approved newspaper is a hit without those magazines."

"Usual hiding spots?" Harry looked confused.

"You know…" Susan gestured absently. "Those in the boy's toilet on sixth floor and the girl's toilet on second floor… and well, all those various private hiding spots in various common rooms and dorms." She shrugged.

Harry blinked, still not understanding at all what Susan was hinting at.

"I… didn't even know that there were magazines hidden anywhere," he said confused. "What kind of magazines?"

Susan rolled her eyes. "Those for lonely hearts," she said and when Harry still didn't understand, she rolled her eyes and mumbled something akin to, "you'll get it someday."

Harry still looked confused, but was distracted when Susan held out the newspaper towards him again. "Susan," he said slowly. "I'm not reading such rubbish. I'm not interested in reading anything Ministry approved!"

"But…"

"No, thanks!"

"But it has news about the break-in into Umbridge's office in it!" Susan looked at him with puppy-dog eyes.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Not interested." He turned away, about to step into the Great Hall, when Luna plucked the newspaper from Susan's hand and held it out to him again.

"You're far too influenced by wrackspurts," she scolded him. "Read it. Maybe the wrackspurts will go away then." There was a kind of demand in her voice that froze Harry in his steps.

Harry gulped, then, slowly, he turned around and reached for the newspaper again.

Luna handed it to him. Then she patted him on the head. "Good boy," she said. "And now, sit down, eat your breakfast and read the news. You will like them, I assure you."

Harry nodded, and did what he was told. He knew better than to disagree with Luna.

MYSTERIOUS THIEF IN THE DEFENCE CORRIDOR

Detectives Filch and Norris investigating

Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yesterday evening, around dinner time, a mysterious thief broke into the office of Headmistress Umbridge in the Defence Corridor and stole her valuables. Detectives Filch and Norris are currently leading the investigation. "There is not too much to go on, though," Detective Filch cautions. "At the moment, everything we have are hints and possibilities. While I trust in my partner and myself to find out the truth soon enough, there's still a long way to go before we can actually state the reasons for the theft and the identity for the thief for sure."

The whole investigation was kicked off when Headmistress Dolores Jane Umbridge left the dinner in the Great Hall at Hogwarts, yesterday. Back then, she found her office in the Defence Against the Dark Arts Corridor – where she is still residing even after assuming her new role of Headmistress of Hogwarts a few weeks ago – in chaos with parchment and books littered everywhere. Immediately, she called for caretaker Argus Filch and his partner Miss Norris to investigate the crime scene.

"Someone stole from the Headmistress," Detective Filch explains in a short interview. "Her jewellery, her money and the buttons of her favourite pink cardigan are missing."

Surprisingly, there are as of yet, no real leads to follow to find the thief.

"They were very good at what they did," Filch declares. "We haven't found any hint of a forceful entry, nor a hint of any magic-use to break into the Headmistress' office." Detective Filch also concludes that the whole break-in must have been done in a hurry, since the thief just rummaged through the cupboards and drawers. As a result, parchment, books and other items were thrown on the floor or left in a disarray wherever they were located.

"It was a mess," Headmistress Umbridge bemoans the state of her office. "Some of the essays from the second years were scorched by a fallen candle, a few of my books have had their spines broken and some of my poor cat-plates on the wall were shattered thanks to a broken shelf!"

Not to mention that the Defence Against the Dark essays of years four, five and seven ended up partly torn or straight-out lost, according to Headmistress Umbridge.

"The thief might have been after the essays in the first place," Detective Filch says with his partner Miss Norris miaowing in agreement next to him. "Everything else they took, they might have taken in order to distract us from their original goal."

As of yet, it's not sure what else is missing except of the Headmistress' valuables.

"But we will find out," Detective Filch promises. "And we will punish the perpetrator! Neither I nor Miss Norris will rest until we have that thief under lock and key!"

Headmistress Umbridge also adds that there will be a reward granted to anybody who is willing to give up information on the theft or the thief.

"I know that somebody did it," the Headmistress comments, "and I would recommend that they turn themselves in. If they don't, they can be assured that they will be expulsed from Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

As a reminder: an expulsion like that – especially before sitting the Ordinary Wizarding Levels (OWLs) – will ensure that the wizard or witch in question will lose the right to carry a wand. If the expulsion happens after the OWLs instead, there will be a loss of job opportunities and standing in the magical society.

"Miss Norris will find them," Filch declares full of surety. "A thief like that doesn't start from nowhere. They will have stolen before. It's just a matter of time until we will connect the dots and find the perpetrator." And for sure, with a well-working team like Detectives Filch and Norris, this case will be solved within the upcoming days.

On another note, it should be cautioned against entering the Defence Against the Dark Corridor with anything that shines or gleams. Apparently, there's a niffler on the loose.

I hope you liked it.

'Till next time.

Ebenbild