Author's Note:

This is quite a long chapter with a lot to take in. Hope you like it.

Savannah-Vee

SONG: Kings of Leon - Charmer

Chapter 34

Memory Lane

EPOV

Bella and I had phone sex.

And fuck it was hot.

To be honest, I kind of initiated it. Ever since she had left for Phoenix, it was as if my hormones were calling for her. I was horny all the fucking time; and jerking off was really starting to get boring. When I got to my mom's I tried to take my mind off her by keeping myself occupied, playing my guitar or watching TV with my mom. They both helped for a while – a really short while – and then my mind was back on her.

She called me on Sunday and hearing her voice...I don't know; it made me feel sort of whole again, pathetic as it sounds. I'd only been away from her for two days and I was already missing her like crazy. I even told her so. I'd wanted to call her, but I didn't know her mom's number and had stupidly forgotten to ask her for it before she left. I could have asked her dad for it but I didn't really think that was a good idea, I mean, I wasn't exactly Charlie Swan's favourite person. I thought hearing her voice would help my body calm down a little – but it ended up making it worse. I was kicking myself for saying I would call her back at eleven. Eleven was too far away. I'd wanted to call her earlier but restrained myself from doing so, I mean, she might have been busy or something.

I had lain on my bed, watching the clock and thinking about her, my dick rock hard in my sweatpants. When eleven had rolled around eventually and I had called her, the sound of her sweet voice was torturing. My dick ached, it was throbbing so much. I just couldn't help myself from talking dirty to her, to let her know how much I missed her, how much I wanted her with me, and to hopefully, get her horny too.

And it worked.

And damn, she had even started touching herself. No way did I expect her to do that. And it turned me on even more if that was possible, and I just couldn't help myself from jerking off to her. I hadn't ever wanted her to see or hear me jerking off because, well, it was embarrassing, but it was practically an involuntary reaction. My dick couldn't take it.

She was sexy, and the thing that made her sexier than most girls was the fact that she didn't even do anything to be sexy. She didn't try; it was just effortless and came naturally for her. I mean, I'm pretty sure she didn't even realise how sexy she was. Girls like Jessica and Tanya and Alice and dare I say, Rose, wore revealing outfits and tons of make up to be sexy. Bella didn't and yet, she was sexier than the whole lot of them put together.

I had drifted off to sleep thinking about her voice when she was touching herself, the sounds she made, the way she said my name...I would probably be thinking about it twenty four seven now.

I woke up the next morning with a concrete erection, it definitely wasn't the normal morning wood. I refused to jerk off again though, so I took a shower and let the cold water run over me a little to get rid of it, before I turned on the hot tap. I decided I would go out, I needed to occupy my mind to keep it out of the gutter, and besides, it was Spring Break, I wasn't going to stay cooped up in the house all week. I got dressed and looked through my phone book for the numbers of my old friends. I called Lucas Brown. I hadn't spoken to him since I left for Forks and I felt bad about it, I mean, he was my best friend. But in my defence, I'd had a lot on my mind, with all the stuff that had happened with my mom.

"No fucking way dude, I'm still fucking dreaming." Lucas answered after the second ring.

I chuckled.

"Nope, you're wide awake man."

"Ed! Good to hear from you man! It's been so fucking long."

"I know Luke, I'm sorry about that; it's just...I had a lot of shit going on."

"Yeah, I know man, no need to apologise. I mean, that's why I didn't call you either you know; I figured you might need time to settle and shit."

"Thanks man." I said.

"No problem. So how you been anyway? What the hell is it like living in a place called Forks?" He said 'Forks' like it was a bad word.

I snickered.

"It's actually not too bad. It can be boring of course, but I guess Forks is growing on me."

"You coming back to Seattle?" He asked.

I grimaced. "Well...I don't know, but if I am coming back, it won't be anytime soon."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. "Don't mean to sound gay and shit, but I've missed you dude. This shithole is shittier without you."

I smiled. I missed Luke and his profanities too. I hadn't realised how much.

"I've missed you too man."

"So when you coming up here to visit us?"

I grinned. "I'm already here."

"You're fucking kidding me! Well what the fuck are we on the phone for? Come over to mine, we're all meeting up, you know, the whole gang, they'll be fucking flabbergasted to see you and your forever shiny Volvo. You still own that shit right?"

I laughed. "Of course, you know that's my baby." Well, it used to be, I thought, before Bella.

He chuckled. "No shit. Well, what time are you looking to meet me?"

"Let's say about two?"

"Sure. See you soon." He hung up.

I went downstairs and inhaled deeply as the smell of blueberry pancakes wafted into my nose. My mom was probably making them, and her pancakes were the best. I jogged over to the kitchen, my stomach growling incessantly.

I got to the kitchen doorway - and froze in shock.

"Mom?" I called warily, slowly walking towards her. "What are you doing?"

She looked up from the pancake batter she was stirring vigorously and smiled at me.

"Morning honey. I'm making pancakes of course, silly." She ruffled my hair and continued stirring.

"But...but mom, don't you think you've made enough? I mean, we'll never be able to finish all of this."

I glanced around the kitchen at the plates and plates of pancakes, each piled high. The scene all seemed too familiar, and it bought a feeling of dread to the pit of my stomach.

My mom didn't answer me and just kept stirring the pancake batter. I watched her, growing more anxious with every stir. She couldn't be having another manic episode could she? I mean, she'd been taking her meds.

Hadn't she?

"Mom?" I said, my voice barely above a whisper, "Have you been taking your meds?"

She stopped stirring and sighed.

"God Edward, have you no faith in me at all?" She asked, looking down at the bowl. "These pancakes are for the Springwater Clinic. They're having a special breakfast because it's someone's birthday. I offered to make them pancakes and a nurse will be coming by to pick them up ok? I am not having an episode and yes, I've been taking my meds."

Guilt overwhelmed me.

"I'm so sorry mom, I didn't mean –"

"It's fine Edward ok, just take a few and go eat, please." She snapped.

I winced, and took a few pancakes and went to sit on the couch to eat them.

I decided not to hang around seeing as I had pissed her off, and called Luke and told him I'd meet him earlier. I grabbed my leather jacket and keys and told her I was going out. She ignored me, and I walked out of the house and closed the door quietly, leaving her in the kitchen – making more pancakes.

I got to Luke's and we hung out for a bit at his house, his mom making a fuss of me, cooing over how much I'd 'matured' over the past few months. Behind her back, I mouthed, 'see' to Luke and he grimaced and rolled his eyes. I always used to kid around that his mom had a crush on me and he hated it. She was pretty hot for a mom, and young, seeing as she'd had him when she was only eighteen. After Luke had dragged me out of the house, away from his mom, we drove around a little in my car, the music blaring, just like we used to do before I moved. Then we went to meet the rest of our gang, Jared, Scott, Leigh, Kim and Stacey at Pete's Pizza, where we used to hang out. I inwardly grimaced when I saw Stacey; it was going to be awkward. It was great seeing all my old friends again though, and a wave of nostalgia hit me as we hung out, eating pizza and joking around like nothing had changed.

"How's it going in Forks?" Stacey asked me.

"It's ok." I replied, "It's growing on me."

She smiled and nodded, "That's good."

"He's bullshitting us." Luke interrupted, his mouth full of pizza, "There's no way a place called Forks with how many students in the high school? Twenty?"

I chuckled. "I think there's more than twenty Luke."

"Whatever, there's no way a place like that could ever 'grow on a person', something – or someone there – is 'growing on you'." He smirked, raising his eyebrows.

I grimaced. Was I that obvious?

"So...what's her name?" Scott asked, also smirking.

Thanks a fucking bunch Luke. Stacey glanced at me, obviously waiting to hear my answer.

"Bella." I mumbled, looking down at the tablecloth.

"Ooh Bella eh? Is she Italian?" Jared said, "Italian chicks are hot."

He, Scott and Luke were all grinning like idiots.

My brow furrowed. I didn't know if she was Italian. I didn't think she was though.

"Um, I don't know, I don't think she is..."

"What does she look like?" Luke asked.

"She's got long, wavy brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, I mean, like they're seriously amazing. She blushes a lot so she's got like permanent rosy cheeks," I smiled lightly, thinking of her sweet blush. "And her lips are...her lips..." I stopped. I really didn't need to start thinking of Bella's lips. I really didn't need to start thinking of Bella.

I looked around the table to find them all gawping at me, Luke's eyebrow raised.

"Dude, is she that good in bed? Because she must have some special shit for you to be going all gooey eyed just talking about her." He said.

I felt my face flushing.

"It's not like that." I said, looking down at the table and running my hand through my hair.

Luke's eyes widened.

"Whoa Ed! Don't tell me you've finally fallen for a chick? I mean, there were so many chicks hot for you here and you didn't give a shit about any of them. I was beginning to think you weren't as straight as you claimed to be." He snickered and I rolled my eyes.

I didn't fail to notice Stacey flinch a little at Luke's comment about me not 'giving a shit' about girls when I lived in Seattle. I inwardly groaned. Damn, this was very awkward.

"Leave him alone Luke." Leigh said, "God, you're embarrassing him."

I smiled at her appreciatively.

The conversation soon shifted away from me and Bella, thankfully, but I noticed Stacey sneaking glances at me occasionally, running her hands through her curly red hair, her green eyes boring into me. I tried to ignore it but it was making me uncomfortable. What was up with her?

"Hey guys, a friend of mine just texted me, there's a party tonight over at the University of Washington. You guys want to go?" Kim said.

We all agreed to it. We left Pete's Pizza at around seven so we could go home and get ready for the party, then we were going to meet up outside Pete's again at nine. I got home and checked the kitchen. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the pancakes were gone and the kitchen was clean and empty. I felt guilty for not trusting my mom, but who could blame me, considering our past. I went to look for her and found her curled up on the couch; fast asleep with the TV still on. To be honest, I kind of panicked for a second. I mean, that was the exact way I had found her the night she overdosed on painkillers. I listened to her breathing for a while, to make sure that she was actually breathing; then I tapped her gently and whispered, "Mom?"

Her eyelids fluttered open and she mumbled, "Edward?"

I smiled. "Yeah, it's me. Why don't you go up to your room to sleep, the couch is going to strain your neck."

She sat up slowly, rubbing her neck.

"You're right." She said.

"I'm going out tonight, to a party. So don't wait up for me ok?"

"Ok hun. Make sure you look after yourself. No drinking if you're driving."

I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help grinning a little. It felt so normal; she was acting like a regular mom, which used to be uncommon for her.

"Ok mom." I leant over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

I hurried up the stairs to my room and stripped off to take another shower. Whilst in the shower, I couldn't stop my dirty mind from drifting to Bella again, her sexy voice whispering my name, her touching herself for me, her coming for me, and I shamefully jerked off again – twice.

I got out of the shower and went to find something to wear. I picked out a pair of relatively new Levi jeans and a white sweater and put on some white Nike sneakers. I ran a hand through my damp hair a few times, as usual, not bothering to comb it, then picked up my wallet, keys and cell and made my way over to Pete's. Luke, Jared and Scott were there, but the girls weren't. This was what usually happened when we used to go out; we always had to wait for the girls who were nearly always late. I smiled again nostalgically.

Finally, they turned up and Jared left his car parked in Pete's parking lot and the three guys got into my car, while the three girls stayed in Kim's car. I led the way to the College, with Jared directing me. The girls followed behind.

Luke laughed. "Leigh just texted me to tell you to slow the fuck down Ed. They're having a hard time keeping up."

I snickered and slowed down a little.

We got to the College, and waited at the entrance for Kim's friend to come and meet us, to take us to the dorm where the party was. She came over to us, smelling strongly of booze, and hugged Kim. Then we followed her to the dorms.

The party was crazy. The small dorm room was packed full of people, and they were spilling out into the hall. The music was deafening, there was a haze of smoke hovering over the room and bottles and plastic cups were littering every available surface. About half the people there were already drunk or high or both, and the rest were well on their way there. Luke immediately got into it, disappearing into the crowd for a moment and reappearing with four bottles of beer, which he handed to Jared, Scott and I.

"Oh, how very gentlemanly of you Luke." Leigh said sarcastically, "There's not three ladies standing here or anything."

Luke snickered. "Ladies? Where?" He said, feigning innocence.

Kim punched him on the arm playfully. "Asshole."

He disappeared again and reappeared with three plastic cups.

"Here you go ladies."

"Thank you." Leigh replied.

I noticed that Stacey was being rather quiet.

After a while we split up, the three girls disappearing off together, Scott and Jared heading to the dance floor to dance with some girls. Luke stayed with me, knocking back bottle after bottle of beer and offering me some, which I always refused. I was definitely not going to get drunk again, not while I had to drive, and especially not after what had happened the last time I had gotten drunk. Luke was halfway towards getting wasted and I cringed, thinking about how I would probably have to wash vomit off my car tomorrow if he carried on like that. He soon got talking to some girl and walked away with her, looking back at me and winking, mouthing the word, 'score'. I grinned and shook my head. Luke hadn't changed a bit. I was left standing alone against the wall, feeling pretty damn bored and missing Bella. The first bottle of beer Luke had given me was still half full in my hand. Drunken college girls kept coming up to me, asking me to dance with them and I refused. The scent of the weed in the air, plus the blaring music was starting to give me a headache. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes.

"You ok Edward?"

My eyes snapped open to find Stacey standing next to me, leaning close to my ear. I immediately took a step away from her proximity.

"Um yeah, I'm fine; I've just...kind of got a headache."

"Me too. You want to go out into the hall?"

I hesitated. I did want to go out in the hall to get away from the music, seeing as my head was pounding, but I didn't want to go out there with Stacey. Things were already awkward enough.

"Um, ok, just for a while though, I mean, Luke will probably be back in a bit, looking for me."

We walked out into the hall, and a little further down, away from the party and the noise.

Stacey sighed. "Much better."

We stood there, leaning against the wall in an uncomfortable silence for what seemed like hours, but was likely just minutes. I was just about to tell her that I was going back into the party when she said,

"I've missed you Edward."

Fuck.

I internally grimaced. "Err, yeah, I've missed the gang too; it's been just like old times."

She glanced up at me from the corner of her eye.

"Almost like old times."

Now what the hell was that supposed to mean?

I was silent.

"Well," She continued, "If it was exactly like old times you and I would probably be making out in a bedroom by now." She chuckled.

I groaned inwardly.

Suddenly she had turned to face me, pressing me against the wall and leaning against me, her hands on my chest.

"Stacey," I said angrily, pushing her off me, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I...I'm sorry." She stuttered, her eyes wide, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"I've got a girlfriend back home in Forks and you fucking know that. What the hell do you think I am?"

She ran her hands through her hair, looking at the floor.

"God Edward, I'm so sorry, I –"

But she was cut off because someone came out of the party and was stood staring at us from down the hall.

I glanced up, thinking it was probably Luke.

And was stunned to find that jackass Jake glaring at me, his gaze shifting from Stacey to me and back again. I glared back at him, my fists automatically clenching. He walked up to us slowly, his eyes narrowed.

"So it is you. Where's Bells?" He questioned, his jaw clenched.

"Firstly, her name is Bella, and secondly, it's none of your fucking business where she is."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Listen dude, I can call her what the hell I want." He glanced at Stacey again, who was now looking at us back and forth in confusion. "So, this is what you do when she's not around huh? Find a slut to fuck around with."

I moved off the wall, my teeth clenched tightly as I took a step towards him.

"Hey, who the hell do you think you're calling a slut?" Stacey said.

We ignored her.

My eyes locked with Jake's. "You don't even know what the fuck is going on, so mind your own goddamn business. Can't you just get over her? You're like a fucking lovesick puppy, it's pathetic really. She didn't want you. She's with me, ok?"

We were slowly walking towards each other, squaring up, our narrowed eyes locked in a glare. Stacey stepped back, away from us, her mouth now hanging open in shock.

"I know she is, and it's a shame because she can do so much better. You're not good enough for her." He sneered.

And that was it.

That was the moment I decided I was going to finally smash his fucking face in, just like I'd wanted to do since the first time I had seen him, leaning against his bike pathetically in front of our school. My fists were starting to ache because of how tightly they were clenched.

In one swift move, so fast that he didn't have time to dodge it, my knuckles connected with his jaw, my full bodyweight thrown into it so I stumbled forward after I had knocked him over. My fingers hurt like hell and would probably be bruised for days, but I didn't care, the rage I felt at that moment, at him telling me that I wasn't good enough for Bella, overpowered every other feeling, every other emotion in my body. I stood over him a moment, flexing my hand, and watched him squirming on the floor, holding his jaw and wincing in agony. He wiped his mouth and I cringed a little, as I saw blood on his hand as he took it away from his mouth.

I couldn't stand the sight of blood.

I looked away from his hand, trying to ignore the way my stomach was already starting to twist, when suddenly there was a quick kick to my stomach and the wind was knocked out of me. I doubled over in pain, clutching my stomach, and the asshole jumped me, knocking me over on the floor, face first. My lips smacked onto the wooden floor and I cried out in pain, now clutching my mouth. I felt a sharp kick at my side, and another, and another, then another. I lay on the floor, my body tensed, expecting another kick. When it didn't come, I glanced up and he was catching his breath, his chest heaving as he stood over me, pressing his jaw tenderly.

I took this as an opportunity.

I leapt up, ignoring the sharp pain at my side and lunged at him, knocking him over onto his back. I pounded at his face over and over, not giving a fuck what I was hitting, ignoring the searing pain in my hand, side and lip, until I felt arms tugging me, lifting me off him and practically dragging me away.

It was only when we had reached my car that I realized the arms were Jared and Scott. They stood, looking at me in shock as I leaned against my car, flexing my fingers, my chest heaving and my brow still furrowed deeply. We stood there in silence, while I attempted to calm myself down. After about maybe ten minutes, I spoke, my voice coming out more like a growl than anything.

"I'm fine now. You guys can go back in. I'm just going to wait in the car. When you're ready to leave let me know." I fumbled for my keys, unlocked the car, and climbed into the back seat.

They blinked at me a moment longer, then Scott said, "Ok man, we're going to look for Luke and the girls, then we'll leave."

I nodded and they made their way back to the dorms.

I lay across the back seat, leaning against the window, my head pounding, my lip stinging, my hand throbbing, my side aching. I looked down at my white sweater and groaned, finding it covered in splatters of blood – I wasn't sure whether it was my own or his. I carefully removed it, wincing as I stretched out my torso, the ache in my side increasing. I lay there a while, my eyes closed; then I got a little bored and reached over to the front to get my cell which I had left in the glove compartment.

I checked it and was taken aback to find ten missed calls. All Bella.

Fuck.

Something must have been up. She would never call me that many times if it wasn't important. There was also a text from a number I didn't recognise,

Edward, call me on this number as soon as you get this text. No matter what time it is. I need to talk to you. Bella x

Shit, there was something wrong, something very wrong. I checked the time, 02:28AM. She did say it didn't matter what time I called. I quickly called the number and Bella answered after the first ring.

"Edward."

"Bella, what's going on? Are you ok? What's happened?" I couldn't stop the panic in my voice as my thoughts ran rampant with scenarios of what could be wrong.

She sniffed.

Oh God, she was crying.

"It's...it's." Her voice was thick with emotion. She sniffed again before choking out,

"It's my mom."

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading! Please try to review. I always try to review stories that I enjoy because I feel like I have to let the author know that I enjoyed it. It's only fair right? I mean, I spend ages writing it, and then I see that a lot of people are reading it, but not many reviewers. It makes me a little sad :(

I'd like to give a special thanks to dreamngo4it9 who's reviews make me happy! Thank you!

Savannah-Vee