SONG: Grizzly Bear - Slow Life

Chapter 42

The Morning After

BPOV

I woke up needing to pee.

I squinted into the darkness, disoriented, trying to make out the vague shapes in the room as my eyes slowly adjusted to the dimness. The room was definitely not my room, it wasn't familiar to me, and in my sleep induced stupor I just couldn't remember whose room it was.

That is until I felt deft fingers brushing against the underside of my breasts, attached to a strong arm wrapped around my torso, along with a warm body pressed flush against my back and something hard, yet soft and also warm being pressed against my ass.

Edward.

I blushed as I realised that he had a hard on, ridiculous as it was, seeing as it was dark, he was probably asleep, we were both still naked, and we had had sex just a few hours ago.

Edward and I had sex.

My face remained heated as I smiled to myself in the darkness, the memories of my first time flowing back to me clearly. It was perfect. I held his twitching fingers still in my hand, and lifted his hand up to my lips, kissing it softly. I loved him. I loved Edward Cullen. And my smile spread wider across my face as I remembered the words I'd heard from him just before I fell asleep. "I love you," he'd whispered.

He loved me too.

I lay there for a while blissfully, unable to shift the beam from my face as I played with his hand and listened to his steady breathing against my neck. He was still hard against my ass, and occasionally he would shift against me, mumbling unintelligible words. I couldn't help flushing every time he did, and I had to tighten my thighs against my slight arousal at the feel of it. I was also curious about what he could be dreaming about, though it wasn't really hard to guess.

Eventually though, my bladder was close to overflowing, and I had to get up to pee or I would end up embarrassing myself. I gently moved his arm from around my body and shuffled away from him inch by inch in order to not wake him. I climbed out of the bed and shivered, seeing as I was still naked, and missing Edward's body heat. I tiptoed over to his bathroom, wincing at the slight soreness I could feel in my abdomen and between my legs. Not bothering to turn on the light, I sat on the toilet and relieved myself, then wiped myself very carefully, wincing again, before washing my hands.

I was still cold, and being naked was getting a little embarrassing despite the fact that he was my boyfriend and he was asleep. I picked up his discarded pants from the floor; his boxers tucked inside seeing as he'd pulled them off at the same time. I pulled out the boxers and slipped them on; then I made my way over to his closet, took out a t shirt and put that on, before sliding back under the covers.

I lay on my side facing Edward, and watched him as he slept, tracing his pretty face with my fingers, stroking the silky strands of his hair gently, placing soft kisses on the back of his hand. I wasn't sure what time it was, seeing as there was no clock on the bedside drawer, but I guessed that it was roughly between two and three in the morning.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because when I woke up again the room was a little brighter. It probably wasn't too early anymore because I heard the sound of a bath running somewhere in the house. Edward was still dead to the world, his face pressed into my neck and his mess of hair right under my nose, tickling it. That was probably what had woken me. I brushed it away from my face wearily, still drowsy; and shuffled closer to him. His arm reached out and tightened around my waist, and I wasn't sure whether he was half awake or dreaming but he mumbled, "Love you Bella."

I smiled into his chest and whispered, "Love you too, Edward," before drifting off to sleep once again.

The next time I woke up, Edward's hazel eyes were open, staring at my face, and his hand was on my cheek, his thumb rubbing against it back and forth softly. I blinked at him lethargically, still not fully awake, and he grinned at me, one corner of his mouth lifting a little higher than the other.

"Hey." He murmured. "Sleep well?"

I smiled back at him lazily. "Yeah, you?"

"Like a log. I swear; that was the best sleep I've ever had. I think you had something to do with that." He brushed the pad of his thumb against my cheek again. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm great." I responded, grinning again. "What time is it?"

He sat up and reached over me to his bedside table. I felt his manhood – hard again – brush against my thigh, and of course, because my blood seemed to love flowing to my face, I blushed. He lay back down, and he was holding his cell phone. He checked the time on it.

"It's still sort of early, only seven thirty. You wanna go back to sleep? Sorry, I think I woke you up."

"No, I'm awake now."

He pressed a finger on my cheek and smirked. "What are you blushing about?"

"Nothing."

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon Bella, I wanna know."

I blushed harder and sighed. "It's stupid, it's because I felt your...thing...you know, it's hard."

I still couldn't even say the word, yet I'd had sex, and was lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was still naked. Boy was I pathetic, or what? It was juvenile of me to still be embarrassed, but technically, this was the first time Edward and I had seen each other completely naked. Sure we'd fooled around a little but we'd never taken our clothes off until last night, and I'd never felt his...thing unsheathed against me before.

He flushed slightly himself, and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I can't help it. I keep thinking about it, you know, and how awesome it was and...Oh shit, talking about it really isn't helping the situation right now."

He reached out and stroked my jaw tenderly with the back of his fingers.

"I love you Bella." He said earnestly, his gaze suddenly growing intense. "I've loved you for ages; I just...didn't have the balls to tell you. I wanted to say it so many times but I always chickened out, and I'm sorry for that."

I smiled at him, my heart soaring. "It's ok. I love you too Edward. And last night, it couldn't have been a more perfect first time. Thank you."

He leaned forward then and gave me a soft, chaste kiss, both of us aware of the fact that we probably had morning breath.

I sat up and stretched.

"I'll be back in a sec; I'm just going to get my overnight bag from the guest room so I can take a shower." I told him.

I got out of the bed and stretched again, and I heard a low moan from Edward. I turned around to him, eyebrow raised questioningly, and he was smirking at me crookedly and biting his lower lip, his eyes hooded and brazenly roaming my body.

"Shit, you look so fucking hot in my clothes." He murmured huskily.

I glanced down at myself, remembering that I was wearing his boxers and t shirt, and once again I felt my face and neck warming up. I rolled my eyes at him and hurried out of the room.

I padded down the hall towards the guest room, noticing that the light in the bathroom opposite was on, meaning that Edward's mom or uncle was already awake and probably taking a bath. I was pretty sure that they wouldn't have been too pleased to know that I'd slept in Edward's bed, and Dr. Cullen knew my dad, and if my dad ever found out...

On that thought, I quickened my pace into the room, not wanting whoever it was in the bathroom to come out and catch me sneaking out of Edward's bedroom at seven thirty in the morning.

Once I'd gotten the bag, I crept back out into the hall warily, tiptoeing past the bathroom, but I noticed that the door was slightly ajar. I breathed a sigh of relief, whoever had been in there was probably finished. I ran a hand through my hair and grimaced as my fingers got snagged in huge tangles. Then I thought about the fact that I didn't know what I looked like. I hadn't looked in a mirror since yesterday, and judging by the feel of my hair, I must have looked a mess. And I knew that it was morning, and Edward had just been staring at my face anyway, and probably didn't care that I looked a mess so it didn't really matter, but I felt really self conscious all of a sudden. I didn't want to go back into his room without at least brushing my hair.

I fumbled in the bag for a hairbrush and took it out, leaving the bag against the wall in the hall. I knocked on the bathroom door, just in case Liz or Dr. Cullen was actually still in there, because it would be extremely mortifying if I just burst in on one of them.

Although the bathroom light was still on, there was no answer, so I pushed open the door.

And then everything seemed to move in slow motion.

It seemed to take an awful long time for me to hear the thud of my hairbrush, as it fell from my hand and hit the linoleum by my feet.

My eyeballs lingered momentarily over every miniscule detail they took in, darting around sluggishly in my eye-sockets.

They lingered over the pile of clothes, lying in a heap on the floor before me.

They lingered at the open cabinet above the basin to my right.

They lingered at the products, shampoos, conditioners, Shower gel, toothpaste, all standing on top of the counter next to the basin, unaffected, and seeming almost comical in their normalness.

They lingered over the small, sharp, shimmering silver, stained with scarlet, lying on the floor by the bath tub.

And then, finally then, they came to rest over the bathtub.

Over the water in the tub, filled almost to the brim.

The water that wasn't clear as it should have been.

The water that wasn't covered with white bubbles and suds.

The water that wasn't radiating steam, and was probably cold.

The water that was a deep, frightening shade of crimson.

And then the body.

Barely visible underneath the red, and entirely still.

Not a single part of it moved, no rising and falling chest, no fingers twitching, no bubbles flowing out from the nose, nothing.

Except for the golden locks that floated, almost serenely on the surface.

My eyes lingered over the horror before me for an un-measurable amount of time, everything still moving as if in slow motion, so it took my brain a lot longer to actually register what I was seeing.

And then when it finally registered, I couldn't place the blood curdling scream that had suddenly filled the room, I couldn't trace the source of the sound.

Edward was suddenly behind me.

"Bella? What's wrong? What is it?" Was all I heard of his panicked voice, before he too froze, and took in the nightmarish sight before us.

I turned to look at him, finally realising that the screaming was coming from my own mouth, and wanting to stop, yet I was unable to. I clamped a furiously trembling hand over my mouth to at least muffle the noise, and felt wetness on my cheeks, also realising that I'd been crying.

Edward paled. His eyes widened in horror. He shook his head fiercely, backing slowly out of the bathroom until he was stood just outside the doorway. His face was stoic as he continuously shook his head from side to side, as if doing so could erase what his eyes were showing him.

His hand flew to his mouth and I saw his stomach lurch.

Then he darted forward, back into the bathroom, and fell on his knees before the toilet. He heaved noisily, over and over into the toilet bowl, shaking uncontrollably as he did, his hands grasping the seat so tightly that his knuckles were white.

I just stood, my hand clamped over my mouth as my legs threatened to give out from under me. I felt light headed, nauseous even, but my screaming wouldn't allow the bile to spew forth for now.

When Edward had emptied the contents of his stomach in the toilet, he crawled, still quivering, over to the basin, using it to hoist himself up. He opened the tap and tried to splash water over his face, in his mouth, missing several times as his hands were shaking so badly. He chanced a tentative glance over to the tub again and heaved; only nothing came out of his now empty stomach. He dry heaved a few more times before he collapsed onto his knees before the tub, staring at it boldly.

He sank to the floor weakly, his legs folded underneath him, and all was silent for a long moment. I realised that I had finally stopped screaming. Edward simply sat there, his eyes darting between the bloody bath, which contained the dead body of his mother, and the razor, which lay just in front of him. His hands were gripping his hair fiercely, tugging at it, and he was still shaking his head, only it was a lot slower now, a lot more defeated.

"Why Bella?" He choked out, his voice cracking and hoarse. "Why did she do this?"

My knees gave out at the very sound of his voice, his anguish only spurring my own.

"Oh God Edward, I...I don't know. Oh God, I don't know."

I crawled over to him weakly and pried his hands away from his hair before he could hurt himself. He didn't resist, and his arms flopped down heavily. I kept them in my own, squeezing them tightly and trying not to look at the tub, trying not to break down again.

Edward sobbed, a deep gasping sob, almost seeming like he couldn't breathe. His body was still trembling feverishly, and though he was shirtless I was certain that it wasn't because he was cold. He continued sobbing this way, his eyes still fixated on the tub, seeming eerily entranced by the gruesome sight.

I grabbed his shoulders and tried to turn him away from it.

"Edward...Edward, look away, you have to stop looking at it. Please!" I shook his shoulders desperately, tears falling rapidly down my face. "Please Edward, just look away, please!"

He ignored me, still sobbing, his own face soaked with tears.

"Why Bella?" He murmured. "Why? Why did she do this? Why?"

I shook my head helplessly, wishing I could answer his question, wishing I could take away the pain he felt, and I knew that what he must be feeling was sheer torture, because I could barely handle the pain I felt myself, and I'd only just met her. This was his mother, his only parent, his life, his identity, his childhood, his...everything, and she was gone. And the worst part of it all was that she had caused him this pain herself.

I gave up trying to turn him away from it and simply held him, kneeling before him and wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, rocking him back and forth as I felt his tears soaking his t shirt I was wearing.

"Why Bella?" He kept repeating. "Why did she do this to me? Why? Why Bella?"

I wasn't sure whether it was seconds, minutes, or hours later when I heard a gasp from the doorway. Edward didn't react to the sound at all. He had stopped crying but he was still murmuring against me, still asking me questions I couldn't answer.

"Oh God!" Dr. Cullen cried out, running into the bathroom. He stood just behind me and Edward, his hands running frantically through his blond hair, hair very similar to the one floating in the bathtub, and the frantic gesture also very similar to his nephew's.

He made to move, and then stopped, continuing in this fashion several times, not knowing what to do, until finally he turned and darted out of the bathroom. He was back a second later, his hand fumbling clumsily on the keys of his cell phone, and it took him a long time to dial three simple numbers.

"Please!" he cried into the phone, "Ambulance please, it's my sister, she's...she's...oh God, I think she's...I think she's...dead!"

Edward flinched at the word 'dead' and began trembling again furiously, strangled noises erupting from his mouth. I gripped him tighter and rocked him faster, as I began feeling the warm wetness of his tears seeping through the t shirt once again.

Author's Note:

The next chapters will also be in BPOV, though I may put in a brief EPOV. Please review.

Savannah-Vee