Hidan grunted.
The blond stood from the bed, brushing a hand though his hair.
"I'm going to go take a bath, un." Deidara said, then added, "If the date you offered last night is still up, we should go soon before Pein springs some surprise mission on us or something."
"Whatever."
Deidara shrugged, walking into the bathroom and turning back on the shower.
Hidan followed Deidara. He was still angry at Deidaram even though he told him he wasn't. He wanted to make Deidara feel the same pain he felt.
"This time it's a serious bath. No more of the these distractions." The blond said, testing the water temperature. He was already nude from his earlier bath.
Hidan grunted "I think we should take them separately then."
"Your probably right. Have you tested the bath down in your bedroom yet?" Deidara asked, smiling.
"Yeah... I'll take mine there."
"Okay then... I'll see you later , un."
Hidan walked out the door and down the hall way to his room.
Deidara stood in the bathroom, returning his attention to the shower. He waited until the heat of the water was to his liking before he stepped inside the tub.
After everything he had just been through, the shower was very relaxing.
He finished washing his hair and brushed it. Deidara used the shampoo to wash the rest of his body.
Once the blond had finished the shower, he towel dried his body and used a hair dyer to dry his hair. He brushed through his hair one-hundred times, counting aloud to make sure.
Afterwards, Deidara brushed his teeth.
Then he dressed himself in dark blue pants, a light blue water-patterned T-shirt, and a black hoodie.
Deidara was feeling rather hungry by the time he'd finished his morning routine. He cursed having brushed his teeth before eating, the taste was awful, but running downstairs only to run back upstairs to brush his teeth after eating was something his teen male agenda didn't agree with.
The blond wondered out of his room and down the stairs. He planned to see what was left of the food he had bought yesterday.
Hidan had taken a quick shower so he was out before Deidara. He put on a pair of black pants, leaving his chest exposed to the world. He walked down stairs and grabbed a packet of ramen of the ones he had hidden. As he started to cook it when Itachi came into the room.
Deidara was walking down the stairs, stopping to look for any sign of his partner. He still wanted to ask Sasori what he had seen and if he was aware of the blond's situation.
"Well if it's the fuckable black haired bitch. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm taken now, so you can't have a piece of this man meat." Hidan said to Itachi.
Itachi walked over to the coffee maker and began making himself a cup of dark coffee. He had to keep his cool and not lose his temper. That simply wasn't what an Uchiha did.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm not interested in a any man who is carrying up to a thousand diseases from used whores, they were barely even were able to pay for, because they couldn't find anyone else to suck them." Itachi replied calmly.
Hidan frowned. "Don't be pissy just cause you can't have a piece of this fine ass!!"
"I'm not pissy... I merely dislike you. Your loud and annoying like a five year old boy who obnoxiously overcompensates for the fact he has a very small manhood with a loud voice." Itachi answered, listening to the sound of the water of the coffee machine drip into the coffee holder.
Hidan turned red from anger and unbuckled his pants showing of his manhood.
Itachi stared in silence, a small blush running across his face without his permission.
"The fact you had to show me proves your insecurity." The Uchiha finally said, looking away and biting the inside of his mouth.
"What the fuck?!" Hidan said, lifting up and holding his cock. "Mines probably bigger than yours!!!!"
Itachi remained emotionless in expression, but underneath his disguise, he was angry.
"I don't need to prove anything to you."
Hidan scoffed and grinned, "That's right, cause you would lose. After all, someone that looks like you probably is very small."
Itachi's eye twitched.
"Your urge to see my dick makes me question your sexuality. Besides, mine would make yours look like it belonged to a baby, but if that is what you are..." He answered, emotionless as ever.
Hidan snorted, then turned to the microwave. "Your just jealous that you can't have me or Deidara ever again bitch!!"
"Hidan!" Deidara growled, now entering the kitchen and looking pissed.
"What?" Hidan said turning to Deidara.
"Why the hell are you talking to this prick?" The blond growled, glaring at Itachi and then at Hidan.
"He thinks he's bigger than me." Hidan said pouting.
"Like that matters. He probably is." Deidara said in reply. His stomach gave a sudden growl to show he was hungry and guided him towards the fridge.
"How could you say that?!??!?!"
"Probably the same way you talked about him like he was your bitch." Itachi said sarcastically.
Itachi suddenly pulled the coffee bowl from out underneath the coffee maker and poured himself a cup of the dark liquid. He added several spoonfuls of sugar and coffee creamer. He liked it sweet.
Hidan turned to Itachi and sneered, "Shut the fuck up bitch.". Then he turned to Deidara. "Well if he so fucking bigger than me, why don't you fuck him like you did Tobi!!" Hidan stormed out of the room. The ramen bowl all forgotten.
Deidara winced. He turned to Itachi, giving him a questioning look on his opinion. Itachi took a sip of his coffee and answered, "Whatever you do in your spare time is your own business."
The blond shrugged and chased after Hidan.
"Hidan!? I didn't mean what I said!" He called, searching in the direction he'd seen the silver hair run.
Hidan ran into his room. Mad, he threw himself in his bed. "Maybe Jashin will fix this if I sacrifice someone here." He mumbled into his pillow.
Deidara was unable to find Hidan. He hadn't seen which direction he had run after leaving the kitchen. The blond decided it was best to let the Jashinist have time to relieve his anger and let himself finally eat breakfast.
Deidara returned to the kitchen, finding Itachi gone and noodles boiling on the stove. They probably belonged to Hidan, was what the blond was thinking. Hell. Hidan was already mad at him...
The blue eyes shut off the stove and poured himself the bowl of noodles. He ate in silence, every so often imagining the silver hair to run into the kitchen and yell at him for eating his food.
But, Deidara finished his meal without anyone in the kitchen to disturb him. He threw the empty bowl in the sink and walked towards the library in search of Hidan.
Meanwhile.
Hidan had left the hideout with some money for a whore he was going to fuck, then sacrifice her body to Jashin.
Deidara had found Sasori in the library instead of Hidan. He sat down beside his partner, glimpsing over the books and asking, "So what are you reading?"
The red head didn't even bother to look up as he replied calmly, "Research for a new piece of art. I've been here the past few days looking for a design for a chainsaw, and so far, I have a design in mind, but I need to look over all the options."
Deidara smiled, remembering how every time they talked about true art, it lead to an argument.
"What do you want?" Sasori added sharply, noticing the lack of argument between them at mentioning art.
"You were in my room this morning, un?" The blond asked, looking to caught his partner's expression.
Sasori seemed emotionless as ever. "Yes. What of it?"
Deidara blushed slightly.
"I just wondered if you happened to see anything... unusual." He answered at last.
Sasori finally looked up from his book and stared his younger partner in the eyes, making the blond feel uncomfortable. "Yes. Your free to do whatever you want when we are not on missions."
"And it doesn't bother you?" Deidara asked in surprise.
"The fact your gay?..."
"That. But I'm bi, not gay."
"That's your own problem."
Deidara sat in silence, looking away from his partner and thinking of how to word his thoughts.
"Could you give me advise... about relationships in general?"
Sasori looked up from his book, annoyed he wasn't able to finish his research. He answered in a grumpy voice, "I honestly don't care. I have no advise to give you towards the subject, other then that man your with is not worth your time."
"That's not true! He..." Deidara suddenly stopped, realizing he had no idea why he was with Hidan in the first place. The only thing that came to mind was sex. Otherwise, they were completely unhappy around each other.
"...If anyone is to blame for the faults in our relationship... it's me, un."
Hidan started putting back on his clothes. He had fucked and killed the whore, who called herself 'Sexmatch'. He walked out of the whore house and started heading towards the hideout.
Deidara had given up in trying to find Hidan. His conversation had abruptly ended with Sasori soon telling him to leave so he could finish research. Now the blond was left to wonder the Akatsuki mansion, in search of something to entertain himself. He finally settled for half watching the television and sculpting clay.
As he worked on the clay, it allowed him to relax. His mind began working towards solving his problem that was his relationship.
a) Was Hidan worth trying to save what little was left of the relationship?
Deidara had decided he owed it to Hidan to try to salvage what was left.
b) How was he going to salvage it?
Unsure at this point, Deidara made a mental list of possible options...
1. Go on a date and try to talk things through.
2. More buttsmex.
3. Get Hidan some kind of gift.
Deidara decided against anymore sex. That only seemed to be dragging things downhill. Another option, he suddenly realized; was if he wanted a serious relationship, they would have to put a halt towards having sex until things became more stable.
He didn't like the idea very much.
He began to think to himself about how serious he actually wanted the relationship to be. He knew Hidan wasn't the person he wanted to be with for a long time, but in the moment, he wanted a relationship that involved less fighting.
Deidara decided to cut down on the amount of sex until they could at least get along. He would also talk to Hidan and try find something to give him as a present.
Tobi came in to the room Deidara was in during his musing, just staring at Deidara.
The blond's clay had so far taken the shape of a bird. He moved slow with it so he could fill in more details then he was allowed to during fights and missions. Deidara finally finished the bird, turning it over gently for inspection. He was pleased.
Deidara looked up from his creation to see if anyone else was there to marvel at its beatify. That was the moment he noticed Tobi watching him. All the anger from before rushed back at him as he remembered why Hidan was mad at him in the first place.
"I don't want to see your retarded face." The blond growled at the masked nin, then added, "I'm done with you and your head games, un. Don't even try anything or I'll exploded your ass with this bomb!"
Tobi walked up to Deidara, "It's pretty Sempai... diffidently not a rip off unlike your others."
Deidara's eye twitched. His eyes became dark with hatred.
"Those are the last words your going to be able to speak." He growled in an evil voice.
Deidara threw his clay bomb at Tobi, exploding the entire living room and the masked nin with it. What was left of the living room was on fire, along with part of the kitchen where Deidara had run to before the explosion.
Tobi came out of the rumble. "Man Deidara-sempai, I can't believe you blew up the living room. Pein is gonna be mad!!!"
Deidara looked around the still burning room.
"Yeah... I should probably run away to Canada while I still can, un..."
Tobi turned to Deidara, "If you go out with me, I'll say it was me."
The blond stared at the other male. Maybe... no! He mentally scolded himself for even thinking about it.
"No. I wouldn't date you if my life staked on it. Besides, I think Pein can figure out which on of us uses bombs, un."
"Sure you could Sempai. I could say that you told me not to, but I played with a c2 bomb and it went off."
Deidara looked at Tobi in surprise. It seemed that was the smartest thing he'd heard the masked nin say. He thought a moment, then answered, "Your not getting anything out of me. I know Pein. He'll be mad, but Kakuzu is the most likely to get pissed. They will demand I pay back the damages and probably let me go with a special mission."
The blond sighed. He knew Kakuzu was going to over charge him for every little thing that had been damaged. Hell. Kakuzu would probably even charge him for any bugs who had been nearby and suffered emotional damage. The problem was, Deidara had spent almost all his money shopping. Spare change wasn't going to save his ass.
"What if..." the blond blushed slightly, "We don't go on a date, but somewhere fun between friends? Like I take you flying? Then you could tell Pein your to blame and I'll help you pay off some of the damage, un."
"No... I want you Sempai." Tobi said huskily.
Deidara eye twitched again. It seemed he was developing that problem around Tobi.
"I won't submit to you, ever! And especially not for such a small price. You can't have me, un." The blond growled in reply.
"Well how about if Hidan gets destroyed for you turning down my offer."
"You-... He's immortal. You can't threaten me with that." Deidara answered, shaken and a small hint of fear in his voice.
"Ohh Sempai... I know he can't die, but I'm sure I'll want to if he gets blown up and is still alive."
Deidara stared at Tobi. He was seriously staring to freak the blond out.
"You don't have any real explosives. I'm one of the only people who knows the recipes for C bombs and how to use it without it exploding instantly, and the only other thing you have is paper bombs. They are a mockery compared to my art. You won't get any use my art for you, un."
"I don't have to use your art Sempai, I could just send him to Iwa where your family lives. I'm sure they'll love him to death."
Deidara thought a moment. True, his family and most of the older Iwa knew how to make C recipe bombs too, but it had been outlawed after it had been used against the village by a certain blond. Deidara had made sure to destroy most of his village before he left and from one of the Iwa ninja who searched for him afterwards, he learned that C recipes had been banned completely to avoid anymore destructive riots.
"You couldn't get Hidan to do anything for you willingly and you don't have the power to order him around. I'm done talking to you. Your annoying and not helping me solve the problem at hand, you're only creating more."
Deidara walked away from the masked nin and towards the front door, stepping outside and out of range from Tobi.
Tobi glared at the spot where Deidara had been, "Your not the ONLY rouge ninja from your clan Sempai."