It's finally here! The long awaited chapter 2! DON'T FORGET TO R&R! Please?

Amy

AKA
RootbeerFloat

I have decided to make a second chapter! A third chapter will probably be in order, and I'm going to try another writing style to this.

"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger. I expect you to realize that since this is a Dramione story, that you two will be left alone for two hours or so why I have some silly excuse made up so I can leave you two alone." Snape stood up from his desk and held a bottle of self-warming lubricant. Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat, examining the bottle and biting her lower lip.

"Er… professor." Draco stared at bottle of Vaseline. "What are you going to do with that? That looks like what my dad used when it was my Death Eater initiation…"

Snape blushed. "None of your business, Mr. Malfoy. Don't you have a bloody cliché to be performing?" Snape walked out of the room and slammed the door.

"Death Eater Initiation?" Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You're a Death Eater?"

"No." Draco smirked. "I wasn't a good enough candidate. They said you couldn't love bunnies and be a Death Eater. I had to choose, and in the end… bunnies came first." He stood up and looked to the black, crusted cauldrons. "Why are we always the butt of every cliché?"

"Be thankful this isn't a Harry and Draco romance." Hermione stood up also. "You'd always want to pop Harry Potter's cheery."

"SICK!"

"You're a poof, what does it matter?"

"I'M NOT A POOF."

"You kiss like a poof."

"I'm not bloody gay, Granger."

"But you just said---"

"What my father and I do on our own time is none of your business." Draco blushed and took out wand, no pun intended. He cleaned out the cauldrons in three seconds. "Now what?"

"You troll! You cleaned up the cauldrons!"

"So?"

"You led us into another cliché!"

"I did?"

"We now have two hours to spend here and do nothing except… well, what were going to do in the library."

"Those are the rules?"

"To these stories? Yes. To real life, no."

"Well, Granger, this is real life. Why should we follow every bloody cliché?"

"I agree."

"So, why don't we try to avoid clichés at all costs?"

"That's a good idea… I'm going to look around then." Hermione began to look around to all the different bottles on Snape's desk. A few were pink and green, a little bit of blues here and there, and if Hermione didn't know any better she'd say she saw a small sexual toy peeking out from one of Snape's drawers.

Draco did the same. "Ooh, what does this bottle have in it?" He examined a peculiar label. "Lust potion?" With a smirk he twiddled in between his fingertips.

"Malfoy, put that down right now! It's a cliché waiting to happen!" Hermione grabbed at the bottle and managed to wretch it out of Malfoy's hand. Draco was very upset, as clichés go.

"Hey! I was looking at that." He grabbed the bottle back up.

"Malfoy!" Hermione swiped the bottle in her possession. Both struggled over the bottle, and it ended up crashing on the floor. Pink smoke emerged and both coughed for breath. "Oh dear… my head feels light." Hermione collapsed to floor.

"Shit." Draco looked down at the unconscious Granger and his heart gave a leap. "Picking her up is a cliché… we're supposed to avoid clichés… but… if I leave her there I'll cause another! Snape will blame her for everything. Hmm… leave her." He started to walk to door.

"Malfoy!" Hermione woke up instantly with her head swarming. "Oh, I had the most lustrous dream about you and me. We were in bed and… oh, I forgot. I can't lust over you. You're a poof."

"I'm not a poof!" He glared at her. "How the HELL am I going to prove that to you?"

"Well since I'm under a lust potion…" She stood up and wrapped her slender arms around his neck. "We could have you show me JUST HOW you're not a poof."

"You're nuts. Granger, I'm not attracted to you." Draco pushed her off of him. "I'll see you later. No, scratch that. I can't see you later. NO CLICHES." He then proceeded to walk towards the dungeons door only to have Hermione grab his feet and send him toppling over on his chest –hitting his head on the floor. "AH! FUCK IT!" He screamed, his forehead throbbing. Hermione climbed on top of him and with a lustful sweep of her head dipped down and kissed Draco passionately on the lips. "Granger! Ah! Get off! Clichés! Stop! Stop it!"

"Malfoy, you're supposed to be enjoying this." Hermione sighed.

"This is REAL. LIFE."

"Are you saying you've never once fantasized about me?"

"Exactly."

"Not once?"

"NOT ONCE."

"Poof."

"Oh I'll show YOU who's a poof!" He growled, and as his head didn't comprehend he was leading himself into another bothersome cliché, he flipped her underneath him and kissed her overpoweringly. He tried to straddle her hips but ended up that she had wrapped her legs around his waist and he began to feel uncomfortable. But before he could have a moment to object someone burst through the doors- or more than one. What better way to make a story more cliché than to bring Harry and Ron into the picture! Harry and Ron's jaws hung open in shock as Draco and Hermione kissed a little less awkward than their last encounter.

"Harry… Do you see…?"

"I see Ron."

This caused Draco and Hermione to jump against their own will. It was as if little microorganisms were biting at their nerves, causing a tingle to flow through their bodies and making them follow through with the cliché. Unlike the normal line and Harry and Ron screaming at Malfoy to get off, they both pulled up chairs and smiled to each other.

"Hey Malfoy," Said Harry, "Move over a little and take off your clothes."

"Sicko." Draco grumbled, standing up and moving himself as far away as possible from the trio. Hermione sat up on her elbows and asked, "I thought you wanted Harry?"

"I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A POOF!" Draco yelled at her, and instantly stormed out of the room, making a painting fall off the wall.

"Well… that was rather odd." Ron said, and he scratched his head.

"Care for a threesome?" Harry smiled to Ron and Hermione.

"Sorry Harry, as much as I've fantasized about that, now's not the time." Hermione said flatly and stood up. Ron gave out a huff.

"Damn it."

"Oh get over it Ronald!"

"Oh sure! You can say that because you're a woman and don't have throbbing erections in your pants!"

Harry rolled his eyes, saying, "And then again some things never change."

XXX

"I hate Granger… I hate her… no, can't think she's cute… ah! More clichés! Why are they attacking me like this?" Draco ran to the shower and realized as he turned the hot water on he still had his clothes on his back. "Now that's more like it. Not cliché." He stripped out of his clothes and the water became icy cold. "HOLY FUCK!" He jumped out of the shower. Instantly, Blaise Zabini, or Zambini, no one was ever too sure, strolled in.

"Hey, Draco, what's going on mate?"

"Who are you?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow and wrapping a towel around his private areas.

"I'm supposed to be your over hormonal best friend who convinces you to shag Granger," Blaise explained, "You know, the other sex god of Slytherin."

"You're Blaise, right? –Look, we cheated off of Granger's test ONCE together. I barely know you." Draco growled, pulling on a cliché green bathrobe and moved into the boys' bedroom. Blaise followed.

"Yeah, but I'm supposed to show up and either be the bad guy or be the good guy and give you advice on how to woo her."

"I don't need advice because I'm not after her."

"I know, I know, you're after Pansy Parkinson, right?"

"That slut?" Draco asked. "No thank you. I have dignity man!"

"Then who…?"

"I'm not after anyone! I came to this school to get a good education." Draco explained. "And because my father said he'd buy me my own Quidditch Team if I got good grades."

"Lucky." Blaise whined, sitting on his four-poster bottom bunk. "MY dad only said he'd buy me a yacht."

"Honestly, how are we supposed to survive without the essentials?" Draco smirked. "The three M's. Mum's, Manicures, and Money."

"Is that what the Malfoy's have?" Blaise asked. "Figures."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked.

"Malfoys. M's. Rules. Its all cliché." Said Blaise. Draco's face went white. "You alright?"

"NO." Draco shouted, and suddenly a knock came on the door. "Shit, I'm not dressed."

"Ah, don't worry about it." Blaise said.

"I HAVE DIGNITY. DIGNITY. Do you know what that word means?"

"Er…"

"Never mind." Draco grumbled and pulled on some black slacks and slipped his white cotton long sleeved shirt over his shoulders, not bothering to button it. He went to the door to find Crabbe dressed in a ballerina outfit.

"Don't ask. It was a dare." He growled, handing Draco an envelope. Draco took the envelope with wide eyes and noticed the small whips in Crabbe's other hand.

"A dare?" He asked. "And those kinky whips got there HOW?"

"Okay, you caught me." Crabbe said. "Pansy, Goyle and I are meeting each other in five minutes to fuck."

Draco grimaced. "Next time you decide to give me the details to your sex life –don't." He smirked, and slammed the door in front of Crabbe's face.

"What's the envelope?" Blaise asked.

"Shut up. Don't talk to me." Draco said, having a feeling he already knew the cliché about to happen. He opened up the envelope to find a long piece of parchment with writing on it. "Shit."

'Dear Draco,

I have a burning desire and a hidden lust for you. Meet me out at the edge of the forbidden forest at nine.

Signed,

Your secret admirer.'

"Well that's twisted." Draco finally said. "Usually I'M the one with the hidden lust, not her."

"Whatcha talking bout?" Blaise asked.

"Granger –she wrote this stupid lust letter. We're supposed to go out to the forbidden forest and fuck at nine."

"Then don't go, if you're trying to avoid the clichés." Blaise explained.

"Yeah that could -Hold a moment… I never told you about my clichéd problem!" Draco pointed an accusing finger at Blaise. "WHO ARE YOU?"

"Heeeeeeeere's Voldy!" Blaise said, before drawing his wand and transforming himself into Lord Voldemort –with his snake like red eyes and pasty skin. "Draco, join me and together we shall rule the world with you as my right hand!"

"Why not left?" Draco asked. Voldemort seemed to ponder over this.

"I don't know. I suppose its because I have a superiority complex and when I say right hand I expect everyone to bow to me and say 'yes master' because deep down I'm shallow and insecure about who I am and what my past has brought to Harry Potter and his friends, not to mention the entire world. Perhaps if I stopped to think about what I truly was I could see my true potential."

"Er…"

"JOIN ME!"

"… Is there any money involved?" Draco questioned. Voldemort nodded. "Nah, its alright. I don't want to ruin my perfect skin."

"Oh don't give me that bullshit, Malfoy, I know you have a freckle on your left butt cheek." Voldemort smirked. Draco blushed bright red.

Tom Riddle, AKA Voldemort, twisted his lips into a peculiar smile and pointed his wand at Draco's arm. Draco had a sudden urge to fight back but realized it was too cliché to be real –and the odd thing was this was real life.

"B-Bu-But…" Draco started to say, but Voldemort hushed him up with a slap across the face. Draco narrowed his eyes. "HEY! My father would NOT approve! He says the only kind of sex worth having is if it's kinky –not non-consensual!"

"I wasn't going to rape you," Voldemort sighed, "I was going to give you your dark mark."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Just as Voldemort was about to put his wand to Draco's left arm, Hermione Granger burst through the Slytherin Boy's door, wand at the ready. "Back off OR ELSE."

"Sorry, my dear, but I don't think my back does come off." Voldemort smirked before turning into a pink unicorn and bursting out of the room past Hermione and down the staircase. Hermione instantly ran to Draco's side. "Are you alright? Did he mess with your brain?"

"I was going to get world power, you bitch!"

"No, you're defiantly yourself."

R&R

Amy

AKA
RootbeerFloat