Episode 8: S.I. 2
"Presidential Debate"
::George W. Bush and Senator John Kerry meet in a hand shake
out in the middle of the stage::
::The Democrats and Republicans
rave in cheering::
Man: Mr. President, Senator Kerry, take your stands.
::Bush and Kerry stand in front of their microphones::
Man: Ok. Mr. President, you go first.
Bush:
Thank you, and thank you to all who are going to vote for me. Ya
know, let me try to prove my first point in this debate for a hastly
moment here. Those who don't vote for me are fools. Ya here me out? I
supply this nation with a prosperous moral of freedom and gathering
on a good tax level and healthcare. (Faded whisper) Not that I give a
damn about each, but still!
Man: Is that it?
Bush: For now
yes. I gotta observe my notes. Get my drift dawg?
Man: Oooookkkk,
and now for you Senator Kerry.
::Kerry laughs::
Kerry:
Hear me out people: This President can't do anything. Observe his
ignorant actions. He has to read his notes and observe them! What
kind of President says that at an election and says he doesn't give a
rats butt about healthcare! Ladies and Gentlemen, our healthcare is
just as important as OUR people...
Bush:(Fainted whisper) Who
gives a monkeys ass about healthcare.
Kerry: What was that Mr.
President?
Bush: N-Nothing, I was j-just... reading my notes!
Kerry: Anyways. Our country deserves more people. Plain and
simple. It deserves-
Bush:(Shaking like he has terretts) IT
CERTAINLY DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR WEASAL LOOKING ASS IN OFFICE YOU COCK
SUCKING HOE!!!!
::The audience exchange words in fluster and disbelief::
Man: There shall be no swearing upon this
election Mr. President!
Bush: FUCK YOU!
::Bush grabs the microphone::
Bush: My fellow Republicans! If you don't give a
damn about healthcare give me a "HELL NO!"
Audience:
HELL NO!
Kerry: Mr. President I think you should-
Bush: -give
you head? Sorry, but you democrats are fucking weird like that!
Kerry: We're weird?! Look at your asses! You people are sooo damn
conservative, you've probably hadn't had sex since in reformation! We
democrats are liberal! We have sex every night goddamnit!!!!
Man
in audience: AMEN TO THAT BROTHA'!
Bush: Shut the fuck up Kerry!
Zip it or I'll kick it!
::Kerry attacks Bush::
Bush:
Im gonna fuckin' squash you with my wallet!
Kerry: Im gonna
fucking kick you in your Texas Balls!
"Hazuki Residence"
::Ryo quickly turns the television off::
Ryo-san: The United States is weird as hell.
Fuku-san:(Laughing) Oh my God! That was funny as shit! I wished
we had of recorded that!
"One Hour Later"
::The phone rings::
::Ryo answers::
Ryo-san:
Hello?
?: Ryo!
Ryo-san: Who's this?
::Person clears voice::
Nozomi: Im sorry. These herpees are killing my voice.
Ryo-san: Oh, what's up Nozomi?
Nozomi: I wanna chill at Saka'
Park tonight. Wanna come?
Ryo-san: Ummmm...
::Ryo looks at Ine-san dancing on the kitchen table in a thong with a bottle of vodka::
Ryo-san: Yeah sure. That doesn't seem like a bad idea right about now.
"Saka' Park"
::None of the lights were on at the park so it was pitch dark::
Ryo-san:(Whisper) Nozomi? Nozomi?!
Nozomi: Right here!
::Nozomi snatches Ryo's hand and begins making out with him::
::They both fall on the ground::
::Nozomi pulls out a pair of
handcuffs::
Nozomi: Here, put it on. Then put it on my hand.
It's a sex move I read in a book where you need handcuffs.
Ryo-san:
I see. Ok!
::Ryo could hardly see::
::He clipped the
cuffs around his wrist then picked up another wrist, figuring it was
Nozomi's and cuffing it::
Nozomi: Put the cuffs on!
Ryo-san:
I did! Didn't I?
::Suddenly a Police Helicopter flew over the
park::
::Ten guys jumped up from the ground, half of them with
their pants hanging down::
Man in helicopter: Freeze! You guys are under arrest! HALT!
::Ryo trys to run, only figuring out that the person he cuffed was Fuku!
Ryo-san: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? FUKU-SAN?!?!?
::Fuku's face was smearing with a mysterious white liquid and had pink lipstick over him::
Fuku-san: Hello Ryo.
::Ryo runs out of the park, being chased by
several cops who jumped out of the helicopters::
::Ryo began to
run, handcuffed to Fuku::
Police: FREEZE!
Ryo-san: Come
on Fuku-san! Your slow as hell! We're gonna be arrested!
Fuku-san:
Im sorry Ryo, but I can't stop starring at your ass as it wiggles
incircled in the moonlight.
::Ryo and Fuku manage to escape::
"The Next Morning"
Ryo-san: Im deathly ill Ine-san...
::Ryo fake coughs several times::
::Ine-san feels on his head::
Ine-san: Your NOT running a fever. You never know though. Colds can trick you.
::Ryo lays in the bed, sneezing and coughing fakely::
Ine-san: Well
here's your medicine. Take two teaspoons every three hours my wittle
Ryo, ok baby?
Ryo-san: Ok my wittle Ine-san... hehehehe.
Ine-san: Fuku and I are going to go to the store then... since
your sick I guess you'll be staying. Be back in a couple of hours.
Ryo-san: Ok bye.
::Ryo leans up desperately and pokes his
ear out::
::He hears the door shut::
::Ryo lunges from his
bed and pulls the sheets off::
::It reveiles a large poster
labled "Death to Fuku-san Plan"::
PLAN:
Plan
#1:Poison Fuku's food.
Plan #2:Shoot Fuku with shotgun.
Ryo-san: I've had
enough of this bullshit Fuku-san! I've put up with your gay ass for
soooo long! Now... IT'S TIME TO DIE!!!!! MAWUAHAHAAH!!!!
::The birds flutter off the trees::
"Dubuita"
::Ryo meets a mysterious man on the side of the Yu Arcade::
Man: Are you sure you were not followed?
Ryo-san: Yes.
Just give me the thing.
Man: You got the shit?
::Ryo takes out a handfull of dog shit::
Man:(Rubbing his hands together) Now that's what im talking about... hahaha...
::Man
looks around and then pulls out a box from behind::
::He pulls
out a 50 Gauge Shotgun and hands it to Ryo::
::Ryo cocks it::
Man: It's loaded with five bullets.
Ryo-san: That should
be enough for a quick run by. Ok. Nice doing buisness with ya.
"That Night"
::Ryo sits in a rockingchair, smoking a cigar, and playing Opera Music in front of the Front Door, pointing the shotgun right at the door, waiting for Fuku to get home::
Ryo-san:(Singing Music) Ohhh lalala... OHHHH!!!! Hahaha... lalala..
::It looked like Ryo was going
crazy::
::His eyes were bloodshot and his face was scoulding
red::
Ryo-san: Mawuahahaha! Time to die... BITCH!
::Ryo
hears someone at the door::
::Ryo grips the shotgun tightly::
::The door opens::
::Nozomi appears... then Fuku along
with her::
::Ryo hids the gun behing the chair::
Fuku-san:
Hey Ryo! I brought Nozomi here! I apologized to her and then I
thought I'd bring her here to see you!
Ryo-san: You little cock
sucker!
Fuku-san: Huh?
Ryo-san:(Psycho Voice) You just wanted
to hurt me! I see how life is! IT'S A BITCH TO YOU!!!
::Ryo pulls out shotgun::
Ryo-san: WELL BOTH OF YOU ARE GONNA
DIE!!!!!!!!
Nozomi: RYO?!?!? DON'T!!!
Ryo-san: I hope you two
enjoy being the devils bitches in HELL!!!
::Ryo shoots both
of them, killing Nozomi but practically killing Fuku::
::Fuku
crawls on the ground, struggling::
Ryo-san: Where you gonna go? There's nowhere to go!
::Ryo kicks Fuku::
Ryo-san: Hahahaaha! Look at ya... pothetic!
::Ryo aims to gun down at Fuku::
Ryo-san: Later... bro...
::A shot goes off::
