One dark, dreary night, Ryo Hazuki was home by himself, watching a Scary Movie and eating some popcorn. Quite the perfect night to be murdered if you ask me. Thunder roared outside, the house shook, and the lights flickered. If you are reading this, then death may come to you in Seven Days. Tommorow you will feel a slight tinkle on your upper back which will soon swearm down to your lower back causing major paranoia. MAUAHAHAHA!!!!

::Screen zoomed into Ryo's face::
::Scary music played::

"Hazuki Residence"

Ryo-san:(Screaming in terror) AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

::Ryo's Phone rang::
::He answered it::

Ryo-san: Hello?
?????: Whats your favorite Scary Movie?

::Ryo laughed::

Ryo-san: Hahahahha... cut the crap Ine-san!

::Ryo opened Ine-san's Room Door and realized her cell was still there::

Ryo-san: Hahahahaha... cut the crap Fuku-san!
????: This isn't no Fuku-san BITCH! Your gonna be the innocent victim who gets gutted like a fucking fish tonight!

::Ryo looked at the Caller I.D.::

Ryo-san: Jamid-san?
?????: Who's he?
Ryo-san: Obviously you. ?????: Goddamnit! I thought I dialed #67 so my name wouldnt be known!!!
Ryo-san: OK man. Well, it was nice playing games with you. Later...
?????: Im in your house... MAUAHAHAHA!!!!
Ryo-san: Are you really? Hahahahaha, I gotta go man. See ya.

::Suddenly Ryo heard the toilet flush around the hallway::

????: Told you. HAHAHAHA!!!

::Ryo took out a knife from the drawer::

Ryo-san: Im armed damn you! I'll kill you I swear!!! LEAVE NOW!!!

::Ryo walked out into the hallway::
::The killer stood behind a corner, covering the bottom of the phone and chuckling constantly::

????: Do you know where I am? (Covering his mouth) hahahahaha!

::Fuku walked into the house with the new Splinter Cell game::

Fuku-san: Hey Ryo-san. I just bought-

::The killer ran up behind Ryo::

Fuku-san:(hesitantly)...and I gotta go!

::Fuku fled the house::
::Ryo ran into the kitchen and circled around the table with the killer following close behind::
::Minutes went by::
::The killer stood at one end of the table while Ryo stood at the other::
::The killer took out his inhaler and took a puff::

Killer: I need to get more exercise. Damn!

::Ryo heard the beeping noise that sounded when the pizza was read in the oven::
::The killer stood on the side of the table near the oven::

Ryo-san: Hey killer dude, you mind taking that pizza out for me? Make yourself useful since you can't reenact the guy from Scream.
Killer: Sure.

::The killer took the pizza out and burnt himself::
::The layed it on the table::

Ryo-san: Cut me a slice will you.
Killer: Can I have a piece?
Ryo-san: Of course! Just promise not to kill me if I do say "yes". Killer: No promises man, but it'll lower your chances of being gutted.
Ryo-san: Looks like we got a deal then.

::Ryo and the killer stood and ate pizza::
::Ryo noticed that the Killer's Knife was plastic and it had the tag still connected to it which was labeled "Thank you for shopping at The Dollar Tree!"::
::Ryo busted out laughing::
::The Killer's Cell Phone rang::

Killer: SHIT!!! THE COPS!!!
Ryo-san: REALLY?!?!?!
Killer: Hahahaha, just kidding. it's my bitchy girlfriend. Hey can you talk to her man? I don't feel like putting up with her shit tonight!

::The killer pushed the phone down the table to Ryo::
::Ryo answered::

Ryo-san: Hello?
Woman: WHERESMYBOYFRIENDHEWASSPOSETOCOMETOMYHOUSETONIGHTGODDAMNITIDONT-!!!!!!!!
Killer: Is she pissed?
Ryo-san:You have no clue.
Killer: Shit! Im fucked!
Ryo-san: Don't worry dude. I'll get'cha outta this.

::Ryo talked to the girl::

Ryo-san: Your boyfriend is currently busy right now. He's sucking a lollipop.
Woman: THAT BITCH BETTER NOT BE SUCKING YOUR DICK!!! I TOLD HIM I'D CHOP HIS BALLS OFF AND SOW THEM TO HIS CHIN AND CUT HIS DICK OFF AND SOW IT TO HIS FOREHEAD IF I CAUGHT HIM WITH ANOTHER GUY AGAIN!!!!!
Killer: Dude!
Ryo-san: Hahahaha im just playing.
Killer: Try not to make it too long! Ten Cents a minute!
Ryo-san: Forreal! Shit!
Killer: Hey man, would you happen to have a way to get me down there to her house before nine because if I don't im fucked. I'll free you from your gutting!
Ryo-san: Sounds like a deal!

::Ryo took out his motorcycle::
::He drove off::

Killer: Turn left here.
Ryo-san: Roger!

::Ryo pulled up in front of a house::
Killer: This is it.

::Killer got off and shook Ryo's Hand::

Killer: Thanks for everything man.
Ryo-san: No problem.

::Killer looked at Ryo's Bike Tag which labeled" Soon to be a Marryed Man!"::

Killer: Getting married?
Ryo-san: Yeah, tommorow.
Killer:(Suprised) Oh shit man! If I would of known that I wouldn't of picked you to my the little innocent bitch tonight!
Ryo-san: It's cool, really.
Killer: Well good luck with the marriage.
Ryo-san: Thanks. And ummm... good luck with the whole killing business.
Killer: THANKS!

"The Next Day"
"Ryo's Wedding Ceremony"

::Ryo stood in front of a mirror, putting his Tuxedo on::
::Man walked in::

Man: One hour 'til the ceremony! Where's your best man?!?!
Ryo-san: I don't have a clue where Fuku-san is!

"Yokosuka Graveyard"

::Fuku tunneled his way under the ground towards the grave of the Pope::
::He encountered two signs under the ground labed: "This way to Elvis!" and the other," This way to the Pope!"::
::Fuku scratched his head in flusterment::
::Suddenly Elvis popped up on his left shoulder and the big Pope popped up on his right::

Pope: Come! Come to me!!!
Elvis: You don't wanna dig him up!!! He's all old and fat!!!
Pope: Hey bitch! You've been dead longer than I! Your bodies all skeleton now!
Fuku-san: He does have a point Elvis.
Elvis: Damnit!!! Why did I have to die so early?!??!!?

::Fuku planned to run a colt after Ryo's Wedding since Ryo and he weren't going to be together that much anymore so he decided to dig the Pope up as a Dead Sacrafice::
::Fuku thought::

Fuku-san: The Pope was cute. Hehehehee... I may of become straight, but I can have fun one more time before fully turning! Elvis is more rotten and leathery so therefore the Pope will have a more softer texture on my twisted dick.

::Fuku dug himself out near the Pope's Grave and dug the Pope out::
::He leaned his head over the opened tomb where the Pope lie::
::He wrapped his hands around the Pope's waist and tryed to pull him out::

Grave Guards: HALT!!!!

::Several guards surrounded Fuku with flashlights, spotting the Pope leaning halfway out the tomb and Fuku kneeling down near the dead Pope's mouth::

Guards: We got ourselves a sicko here! Search him boys!!!

::The guards drew in close to Fuku::
::Fuku was dumbfounded and speechless. He had to be at Ryo's Wedding to be his Best Man!::
::Quickly, Fuku lifted the Pope up and shoved his fist up the Pope's Rotten Ass::
::Fuku quickly and carefully used the Pope as a puppet::

Pope:(Fuku's deepened voice) Behold!!! I AM THE POPE!!!!

::The Pope jumped up and down, whailing his arms and legs whoobly::

Guards: OH MY GOD!!!! THE POPE IS ALIVE!!!!

::The guards clear their voices::

Guards: Ummm... sorry sir for such crude language.
Pope: NONESENSE!!! Speak of whatever words you choose!!! FUCK!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! Listen to me!!! I LIKE THE WORD FUCK!!!!

::The guards shrugged their shoulders in bewilderment::

Guards: Ummmmm... fuck?
Pope: There ya go!!!
Guards: YEAH FUCK THIS SHIT!!! I HATE THIS SHITTY JOB ANYWAYS!!!
Pope: Yeah! Your getting it!! Now, be off with you all and let me and my noble steed behind me trail off into the night!!!
Guards: VERY WELL

"Dobuita Park"

::Fuku walked past the park as a shortcut on his way home from the Tomato Convenience Store::
::Wierdly he spotted the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life... well he had never really looked at girl until now but you know what I mean::
::He took a deep breath and approached her in a manly like::

Fuku-san:(Nervously) H-Hi!

::He flipped his hand at her and have her a wink::
::The girl looked at him with a wierd look::

Fuku-san:(To himself) Shit!! Fuku-san! Get ahold of yourself man! She's not a man!!! Stop with the hand flipping and the winking!!! Got it?!?!

::Fuku controled himself and tryed again::

Fuku-san:(Deepening his voice) Well hello. I just noticed your fine, sexy ass here in this park and wanted to know if you wanted to stop buy the Achiichi China Resteraunt for some Chinese Food.

::The girl laughed::

Girl:(Chuckling) Sure... you seem like a funny guy.

::Fuku hit her shoulder and laughed::

Fuku-san:(Snorting) Stop it silly!!! (Girly like) Hehehehe!!!

"Hospital. One month later"

::The doctor walked back and forth in front of Fuku and Raquanda carrying a bulletin::

Doctor: I have some great news!
Fuku-san: What is it?
Doctor: Your girl is pregnant.

::Raquanda jumped up and down, hugging Fuku-san happily::

Fuku-san:(Shocked) I-Im g-g-g-gonna be a f-father?
Raquanda: Yes! Isn't it so wonderful!!!
Doctor: Please wait here. I have to go take some tests.

"DNA Room"

::The doctor walked in::
::The 2nd Doctor greeted him::

2nd Doctor: Dr. Smith, I have something you may wanna look at.
Doctor: What is it?

::The 2nd Doctor showed the doctor a DNA Sample of Fuku and Raquanda::

Doctor:(Confused) HOLY SHIT!

"Hospital Room"

::Fuku and Raquanda wait for the doctor to come back::
::Billy walked in::

Fuku-san: D-DAD?!
Raquanda: D-DAD?!?!

::Fuku and Raquanda looked at each other in fluster::

Raquanda: No, that's my dad!
Fuku-san: NO! THAT'S MY DAD!!!
Billy: Im both your father!!!

::The two looked shockingly at Billy::

Billy: Fuku-san, Raquanda is a transexual. I wanted to tell you earlier but... I didn't quite feel that it was the right time to tell you.
Fuku-san: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!
Raquanda: Wait! Im related to him!!!!
Billy: Sorry Raquanda, I didn't tell you either. That's why I rushed down here so fast. Fuku-san, meet your Transexual Brother Raquanda. Raquanda, meet you recently became straight brother Fuku-san.

::The two shook hands::

Billy: SO WHEN'S THE BABY DUE?!?!?!??!

"Hilltop"

::Ine-san and Fuku-san met Ryo-san at the top of a long, grassy hilltop::

Ryo-san: Welcome... I have called upon this meeting.

::Fuku was going to be a daddy, Ine-san got a full time job in prostitution and Ryo was happily married::

Ryo-san: We have all changed through our experiences together...
Fuku-san:(Sigh) Even though I made my brother pregnant...
Ryo-san: Even so Fuku-san! Look at all you've accomplished!
Ine-san: The irony of it is though Fuku-san, you actually became straight. but still made a man pregnant hahahahha.
Ryo-san: Yeah man... I think it's inevitable for you to become absolutely straight.
Ine-san: But we're all still a family!

::Ryo-san walked up to the two and gave them both a hug::

Ryo-san: What we've learned through this journey of gayness, prostitution and drugs, is that when it all comes down to it, we're still a family and nothing is going to change that. A family is a family for the love of being a family. Who cares about all the obstacles that are thrown are way.
Fuku-san: About me being gay?
Ryo-san: Yeah... and about your prostitution Ine-san... but when it all comes down to it, we made it through and we're still the Hazuki's for good! I mean look at all we've been through and we still came out loving each other like a family!!!
Fuku-san: I think im feeling the love too!!!!
Ine-san: REALLY?!?!?

::Fuku-san's stomach growled::

Fuku-san: I think im hungry.
Raquanda:(From the bottom of the hill) Fuku-san!!! The baby is kicking!!! Please come, we have to find ourselves a new house for the baby!!!
Fuku-san: Coming my love!!!

::Fuku faced Ryo and Ine-san::

Fuku-san: Well guys, im off. Take care of yourselves ya hear.
Ryo-san: You too man!!!

::Ryo gives him a great big hug::

Ryo-san: Have fun being a dad. Im working on it myself too!
Fuku-san: Your alright Ryo-san... your alright man.

::Fuku ran off::

Ine-san: Well, I guess im off too.
Ryo-san: You took me in and raised me Ine-san, thank you for everything.
Ine-san: Hey it's no big deal. You actually raised yourself ya know, being that all I payed attention to was being a slut and having sex for money.
Ryo-san: Hahahahah... yeah that's true.

::Ine-san ran off::

Ine-san: I'll call you if I make it big on some rich man!!!

::Nozomi called Ryo from the bottom of the hill::

Nozomi: Hey Ryo!! I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS!!!!
Ryo-san: What?!?!?!
Nozomi: IM PREGNANT!!!!
Ryo-san: Oh fuck!!!!