The months that followed where what Gakushuu would later tentatively refer to as 'the good times'.
An unfamiliar air of tranquility settled into the Asano house and permeated his father's school the Monday after the exam results were posted.
It was like some sort of old curse was lifted and a sense of freedom followed, not just for Gakushuu, but somehow, E-Class defying everything and being victorious with their test results seemed to make everyone lighter. The 'worst thing' had happened- E class had beaten everyone- but their lives weren't ruined and the world didn't end. It was like everyone at the main school was realising at the same time that one failure wasn't a death sentence.
Gakushuu and his father made a contract that night after the exam results were posted. Because of course, being Asano's, promises of things 'getting better' weren't good enough. They needed clear terms and conditions.
With the wound on his face still fresh, Gakushuu sat next to the man who had injured him and negotiated how it was acceptable to treat him.
It had been a strange experience; simultaneously empowering and terrifying. There was something disgustingly vulnerable, Gakushuu realised, about telling his father the behaviours he wanted him to stop, because that entailed admitting those behaviours upset and scared him. And that made him feel weak.
- No hurting my friends, classmates or associates physically or mentally.
That was one of the first stipulations Gakushuu came up with.
no Brainwashing any of my friends, associates or classmates.
That was a close second. It wasn't too hard for the Chairman to agree to those two.
No Cruel and unusual punishments.
His father had complained that was too vague, but Gakushuu argued that it was good enough for the American constitution, and the Chairman surprisingly relented.
There was a lot more things than that Gakushuu would like his father to do or not do. He'd like for him to stop verbally debasing him so often. It'd be nice if he would maybe even acknowledge Gakushuu had done a good job occasionally. But that's the type of stuff Gakushuu knew the Chairman would actually have to want to do for it to have any meaning. Not just be contractually obliged.
The last stipulation Gakushuu decided to implement was the one he had the most trouble saying out loud;
It was dark outside by now, the sun having set a couple of hours ago leaving the sky an inky midnight blue and neon street lights seeping in through the restaurant windows.
The full murmur of other diners permeated the wall of their private room, and the slow melodic drawl of vague jazz music drifted through the air.
His father had his work laptop on the table. The document he was editing was titled. 'Asano farther-son behaviour agreement.'
"You know, I don't know if I should be impressed or disappointed with how reasonable your demands have been." His father was saying as he typed up the contract they had devised together on his laptop. "I'm surprised you didn't ask for anything more outrageous. A million a month allowance maybe?"
"Is a millions a month allowance on the table, father?" Gakushuu asked sardonically. His father chuckled.
"Absolutely not." He smirked as he finished the sentence he had been typing. Gakushuu actually laughed at that. They had both been trying to keep this process as 'light' and professional as possible. The Chairman hadn't properly apologised and Gakushuu had tried to avoid admitted how much he had been hurt.
"But seriously, Asano, has this covered all the major bases? I don't want to have to do too many re-writes." The Chairman said. Gakushuu bit his lip, taking a deep breath before he spoke and willing himself not to mumble.
"I want.. I want you to stop hurting yourself." He said, forcing himself not to break eye contact as he spoke. The Chairman froze, all mirth draining from his face in an instant.
At the sight of that expression, Gakushuu tensed, that familiar icy dread clawing at his stomach and instantly washing away all those warm feelings.
"Asano," his father said after a deliberate pause, his eyes unreadable. "This contract is meant to be about our relationship. We don't need to confuse things with extraneous details."
A million intellectual arguments rushed into Gakushuu's brain by instinct, about how he could argue the issues are related, actually, but this wasn't really a logic debate. It was a matter of feelings, one of the few subjects both of them seemed to fail in spectacularly.
"I don't really know what happened to make you feel like you deserve to be hurt but there are resources out there that can help. I mean. You don't need me to tell you that." Gakushuu said. He knew this was pushing the boundaries yet again, but he had been so scared earlier today, he really thought his father was going to do something stupid after the test results.
His father scoffed. "Oh, and your the paragon of a psychologically sound person and self-love, are you?" He said, before adding bitterly. "If you valued yourself you wouldn't even be here."
"Having low self-esteem is certainly something I've never been accused of before." Gakushuu retorted. He had enough self-awareness to know he was what most people would call arrogant. Self-Assured was an understatement. His father was so strange some times. "I only do things that are in my own best interest."
"Oh, Do you now?" The Chairman replied, something in his tone that Gakushuu couldn't quite understand, like he was on the edge of saying something else. The lack of comprehension frustrated Gakushuu.
"Yes."
"You really ought to reflect on yourself first." Gakuhou said, snapping the laptop shut with finality. "Then we'll talk about my mental health."
Gakushuu must of flinched, because then Gakuhou sighed and said.
"But overall, a very productive meeting, son. Let's go home."
And just like that things were alright again.
After the exams were over, winter seemed to approach fast that year, and in what felt like no time at all, the autumn term was coming to a close. Despite the decreasing temperatures, there was a lighter atmosphere in the school. Maybe it was the relief at the end of the tests or maybe something else.
Two days before the first snow-fall, it was the last day of term. E class performed a God Awful play that put everyone off there food. Gakushuu wasn't sure if he should feel irritated or impressed.
When Karma Akabane approached him afterwards in the school hall, a smug grin on his face, Gakushuu settled on irritated.
"Thoughts, Ace-kun?" Karma asked, practically beaming. Gakushuu was sure a few weeks ago, the school delinquent approaching the top student would cause a stir, but the fellow pupils carried on tidying up the hall like nothing was happening.
"Unconventional is the closest thing I can muster for a compliment." Gakushuu replied stiffly. This was the first time they had spoken since Karma had confronted him about his father's actions. The red head hadn't hassled him about it since, so Gakushuu had conceded maybe Karma really was concerned and not trying to blackmail him. Maybe. Besides, there were too many people around to literally run away.
"Oh, don't be like that. You seem like just the type of person who'd be into a play that twisted."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that you seem like you'd have a very eclectic taste, Ace-Kun." Karma smirked. "Waaaiiit. You're not the top student any more, are you? That nickname is no good anymore. Let's see.. what should I call you?"
Gakushuu comment of "Asano will do fine." Went ignored.
"Second place! That's it! It's perfect!" Karma teased. Gakushuu cringed supposed he should be thankful that he had a few weeks respite before he had to face Karma's inevitable gloating.
"Well, enjoy it while it lasts, Akabane." Gakushuu said. "It won't happen again."
"No, we won't have a chance; I'm transferring schools next year."
Of course, Gakushuu realised. Akabane is in E class, they aren't gaurented a place in the high school, and why would they chose to go to a place that had discriminated against them?
"I see."
"Hah- you looked like a kicked dog for a second there. You were totally disappointed!" Karma said triumphantly, eyes lighting up. "I /am/ going to Kunugigaoka, luckily for you. Aren't you pleased?"
"I am not. Go literally anywhere else." Gakushuu argued, but Karma was already walking back to a straggle of E class kids, laughing as he did.
Gakushuu sighed, turning away as he felt his face heat up in embarrassment at being so totally set up. Akabane hadn't mentioned anything about what they spoke about last time, for that he was great full. But he still had the sneaking suspicion the other had been checking up on him.
Gakushuu wasn't sure why but he had a feeling that Karma didn't know about his father's reaction to loosing the top spot. A class had kept pretty tight-lipped about the whole assault thing for a group of normally gossipy middle-schoolers.
Winter break wasn't something Gakushuu had ever particularly looked forward to, but it wasn't as if he disliked it.
He had vague memories of sitting around the kotatsu watching TV specials and eating oranges with his family when he was much, much younger, but other than the obligatory visit to the Shrine on New Year's Day with his Mother, Winter break wasn't exactly the relaxing holiday for him it was for most people.
Winter break was much better utilised as a way to continue building connections with important people, and developing skills he didn't have time to focus on at school.
Last year he'd gone on a skiing trip with Ren's family, the year before he went visiting a friend in Canada. In very few of his memories was his father present. That man was always busy over Christmas and rarely home. Gakushuu was never sure if he was relieved or disappointed about that as a child.
Currently, he was in the kitchen with his mother, helping her make cookies. It was an activity he hadn't participated in since the age of about five, but he felt like he owed her this. After all. He'd been so much time away from the house around the exams he'd basically been ignoring her.
"Oh, Shu- be careful with the sugar. Your father doesn't like things too sweet so I always put less than the recipe suggests." She said with a smile. She'd been smiling since Gakushuu suggested he help her, practically giddy with excitement.
"Right. I probably should of guessed that." Gakushuu said, closing the bag. His mother nodded.
"I know how to make them just how he likes them." She said proudly, mixing the bowl. "Thanks for helping me, Shu. I felt like I'd hardly seen you the past few weeks."
Gakushuu felt a pant of guilt.
"Sorry. My schedule can get rather hectic sometimes." He said. He wondered if his mother got lonely in this big house with just his eternally-busy father for company. It wasn't as if she went out with friends often. "But I actually don't have too much scheduled this winter break so, you know.. I'll be around."
His mother's smile grew even wider. "Wonderful." She said cheerily. "You know, I'm so happy that you and your father patched things up after that little… rough patch."
Gakushuu was fairly certain the last decade could constitute a 'rough patch' between himself and his father, but he decided now wasn't time for sarcastic quips.
But his mother was right, he and his father had been getting along better ever since the contract. His father had even told him in an indirect way he thought his end of term art project was good ("I usually think putting up middle-schoolers paintings up makes the place look cheap, but what you've drawn is more than adequate for a classroom").
Well. It was a start.
"We're trying a different approach." Gakushuu replied to his mother, glad she had picked up that things were better too.
"We'll, I dare say it's working. It's nice to see the two of you spending more time together." Mother said. "It was very kind of him to take you out to eat the other night. Especially considering how much work he has."
Gakushuu decided not to mention that was his Father's way of apologising for giving him a concussion. When his mother saw him return home with a swollen face, she didn't ask so he assumed she didn't want to know.
"Yes. He said he's going to try and go somewhere with me at least every fortnight." Gakushuu said, sounding rather pleased. Despite everything, he was still proud at his Father deciding he was worth his company.
"Gosh, that's more time than he spends with me." His mother said, mixing a little more aggressively. "I do hope he's not spoiling you- "
"I don't think we need to worry about that." Gakushuu said deadpan.
"You're right." His mother smiled, "I have a feeling things are going to be so much better from now on, now the two of you understand each other more."
Suddenly, the light air of joviality was gone, and Gakushuu felt as if he'd lost his footing.
Understand each other more?
That wasn't true. He still didn't understand his father at all. Gakushuu still felt scared of him sometimes despite trying really hard not to be. And he knew his father still had a lot of serious issues; he still wanted to hurt himself and Gakushuu had no idea why.
How could Gakushuu begin to help him if he didn't understand?
"Speaking of understanding him.. you said that Dad went through a tragedy years ago and it changed him." Gakushuu said carefully. "Is that something to do with 'Ikeda'?"
The effect of his words were instantaneous; His mother froze, the bowl clattering out her hands, landing safely on the countertop. She stared ahead with shocked eyes.
"Where did you hear that name? Or Did you remember him?"
"Remember?"
His mother took in a shuddering breath before she spoke again.
"Gakushuu, I've told you before it's too upsetting for me to talk about what happened- " She said. "Loosing someone like that- especially someone so young- it can impact a man forever."
"Mum, I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you. But how am I meant to help Dad if I don't know what happened?"
His mother finally looked at him, tears welling up in her blue eyes. "Oh, darling, this is one thing you can never help your father with." She said, leaning over and hugging him too tightly. "All you can do is promise to never leave him the way Ikeda did."
"I promise." Gakushuu said after a pause. Although the flames of his curiosity hadn't died down at all.
That Christmas, Gakushuu had dinner with both his parents for the first time in as long as he could remember.
Usually Christmas was just something he and his mother celebrated. The Chairman had always maintained that as he wasn't a Christian and he wasn't even Western there was absolutely no reason not to treat Christmas like just another day- and if it didn't mean so much to his mother, Gakushuu should do the same.
This year was different. When he woke up that morning, his father had installed a Christmas tree downstairs. Not one to do things by halves, the Chairman had decked it out with shimmering tinsel and sparkling glass ornaments. He really was all or nothing. His father gave no reason of course about his sudden decision to celebrate Christmas, but he didn't really need to.
Mother was delighted and they all sat around the kotatsu and exchanged gifts like they were a normal family.
Gakushuu and his father actually had a pretty enlightening discussion about the irony of how KFC- something that was seen as a cheap takeaway in the West- had become the traditional Christmas meal in Japan. The power of marketing, one must suppose.
"This is so nice- " his mother said suddenly, reaching around the table to squeeze both their hands. "I'm so glad that we got to spend Christmas together before Shuu gets to that age where he starts going on dates and spending Christmas with a special someone."
"Don't make it weird mum." Gakushuu said, feeling himself turn red.
"Asano, there isn't anything to be embarrassed about. Dating is perfectly natural." His father said. His tone was serious but the glint in his eyes told Gakushuu he was being teased.
"It gets me teary just thinking about it." His Mum said. "He's growing up so fast."
"Yes. He might already have a special someone." His father said, amused. Gakushuu felt himself get redder.
"As if I have time for that." He huffed, embarrassed.
"Well you are meeting that Sakakibara boy after dinner, aren't you?" His father said.
"What has that got to do with anything?" Gakushuu spluttered indignantly. Both his parents just laughed together, clearly enjoying his reactions. He used to think only people in soppy hallmark movies had these types of interactions with their families. He had thought these types of moments were a myth. It was a little surreal.
"This spot is nice, right?" Ren said, smiling at Gakushuu expectantly. Gakushuu matched his smile from across the table.
"Impeccable taste as always." He replied. It wasn't an empty compliment either. Maybe it was Ren's prestigious family background, but he was always able to sniff out the finest establishments, the kind that catered to those with old money and refined sensibilities. That innate sense of taste was one thing that Gakushuu with his nouveau rich background couldn't compete on him with.
The restaurant Ren had picked for them to go to seemed quaint at first glance to the untrained eye, but everything from the understated decor to the subtly attentive staff was tailored perfectly for those born into generational wealth and into the top caste of society.
"I'd recommend the pate, but really, everything is good." Ren said to him. "I'm glad you agreed to come today- I haven't seen you since school broke up."
"Yes, I've been rather busy this winter." Gakushuu said. A lie, unless you count reading books and helping his mother in the kitchen as busy.
Both of them tried to ignore the tension. Unasked questions lingered over both of them like a bad smell.
"That's a pity. My parents missed you at the ski resort trip this year." Ren said. Gakushuu had been extended an invitation to their annual trip to Hokkaido every year since he started middle-school. He'd always enjoyed it and liked the opportunity to show off on the slopes and rub elbows with the really rich and established.
This year he had declined.
"I missed going too. You'll have to send your parents my regards." Gakushuu said.
"You need to send more than regards. They need apologies. I brought Seo instead of you, and he spend the whole time trying to corner my uncle's new American wife and show off his English." Ren huffed. There was a moment of silence, then suddenly, both of them were laughing and the tension evaporated away.
"Oh dear. Should I send her some flowers to apologise?" Gakushuu chuckled.
"That isn't even the worst part. He fell on the slope and got the first aiders out. He was acting like he'd broken his legs in five places." Ren said between laughs. "They took him all the way to hospital and did the X-ray. It wasn't even a sprain, the dramatic bastard."
Both of them were laughing harder now, poor Seo. Although the whole thing was very much in character for him.
"Now I'm sad I missed it." Gakushuu said. Ren wiped a tear from his eyes.
"I'm sad you didn't come instead of Seo. The trip would of been much for fun." He said, before dropping his tone. "Araki and Koyama said you haven't seen them at all either."
"Like I said." Gakushuu said, feeling his defences go up again. "I've been busy."
"Gakushuu…" Ren said. He had that worried expression on his face that was now becoming familiar. "It seemed like you were distancing yourself from them even before we broke up for winter.. your Dad isn't trying to isolate you, is he?"
Gakushuu bit his lip, fighting every urge in his body to throw up his walls and get defensive. If his Dad could try and be a better person then so could he. "I don't mean to." Gakushuu admitted. "Just lately… since they sort of know about my.. family issues.. things feel a little awkward. It's like they always want to say things but they don't know how it. Sometimes it feels like they're pitying me. It makes me uncomfortable."
Ren seemed genuinely surprised by Gakushuu's candour, clearly expecting one of his usual biting responses whenever he is questioned about something emotional.
"Emotional intelligence isn't something either of those three are blessed with, but they care about you a lot." Ren said. "If I had to hazard a guess, they're not feeling pity so much as guilt that they can't do more to help you."
"I don't want them to feel like they need to help me."
"Well too bad, we're friends and that's what friends do." Ren said. Gakushuu felt a rush of warm feelings despite himself. A few months ago he would of felt like it was weakness to be happy someone cared.
"I suppose." Gakushuu said. "I do appreciate them I just.. don't always know how to navigate these things.."
It was almost painful, going against all his instincts and admitting there was something he couldn't do. Being vulnerable and admitting weakness went against all the training that had been drilled into him for as long as he could remember. (You can trust Ren, You can trust Ren) he told himself over and over again. He wondered if this was how his father felt every time he forced himself to be softer to Gakushuu.
"To be honest, that's how I've been feeling this whole time. I want to help more, but it feels like there's not much I can actually do." Ren said, after a moment, clearly still surprised with Gakushuu's uncharacteristic openness. "I don't think there is a 'right' way to navigate this situation. We just have to keep being there for each other, right?"
Gakushuu's first instinct was to make a dismissive remark to that, but he bit his tongue and instead said what he was really thinking.
"Thanks." He said. But he'd had about as much of this feeling talk as he could take, so he quickly changed the subject. "So, are you dating anyone at the moment?"
Ren, for some unknown reason, choked on his drink at that. "W- Why do you ask?"
"Well, isn't Christmas a time for going on dates? I'm surprised you couldn't find one. You normally always have a date on Christmas." Gakushuu said, casually. While Gakushuu had never had much time for dating himself, Ren was pretty notorious for all his casual flings. Almost always with girls from other schools though, he had more tact that Seo at least.
"Well maybe I do have one." Ren said, cheeks slightly pink.
"Oh, you're meeting her after this? That's rather late." Gakushuu replied, wondering what sort of salacious rendvous this would be. "Will it even be Christmas any more?"
"What- No- I meant... Never mind.."
The space between Christmas and New years felt like an eternity, but not exactly in a bad way; Gakushuu found himself being more slovenly than he had ever been before, like he was cramming a lifetime's worth of holidays into one week. Of course, he still did his homework, a bit of extra reading, practised his guitar most days and kept up with the basics of his fitness regime, but compared to his normal winter break itinerary, he was practically a slob.
He didn't see his father much, the man returning to do various work functions despite the school being closed. That was normal. He wouldn't expect any different.
New Years day came, Gakushuu's Birthday. He and his mother went to the temple together, then returned home and ate cake and she gave him a present (A book about alien conspiracies he would never admit he actually really wanted). This was their yearly tradition. There was another yearly tradition as well; Every evening on his Birthday, Gakushuu would be called into his Father's office and they would review his progress. Mostly all the dominions he's failing or lacking in, with a few areas of his father begrudginly admitting he was 'acceptable' in. It always left Gakushuu with a burning desire to better himself every year and maybe finally, finally get his father's approval.
Gakushuu was filled with a strange sense of anxiety about what would be discussed this year. The evening approached quickly, and at exactly six he was called to his father's office.
Despite all the recent progress, the room still left him with a dull dread pulsing through his body. Lot's of unpleasent memories here. His father was sat behind the desk, and suddenly it felt like all the changes they made didn't matter any more. The man was still terrifying. Swallowing his fear and telling himself he was being a baby, Gakushuu walked in as casually as he could.
"That time of year again?" He said, sitting down.
"Happy fifteenth birthday, son." The Chairman replied. He had that smile on that made it impossible to read his feelings. "How do you feel things have gone this year?"
He asked this question every year and it was always a trick. Too arrogant and he'd be reprimanded for overestimating himself, too humble and he'd be accussed of lacking confidence. He wondered if it would be any different this year or if he would be debating his worth yet again.
"Honestly? It's been a year full of failures. But regardless of if you agree with me or not, it has made me grow more than I'd like to admit." Gakushuu said, deciding just to be truthfull. The Chairman carefully weighed up his words.
"A little short but I can't say I disagree with you." He said. Gakushuu felt a rush of relief, but then the Chairman's smile dropped. "But I can't say I'm impressed by your conduct this week. If this Laziness continues then you'll end up peaking before you even enter high school."
Gakushuu felt a stab of shame. He thought things had changes. But the Chairman was still following the agreement. He could still criticise Gakushuu. Am I really so sensitive I don't even want to be criticised? Maybe I'm too soft.
"It was just a couple of days. All my homework is complete and I- "
"You don't get any points for doing the bare minimum, Gakushuu, but it's your life. If you want to waste your potential it's up to you." His father said. It was clear he was pissed. "Perhaps I was justified in my harsher treatment of you earlier. Maybe it was the only thing keeping you on track."
Was that true? No. He couldn't get pulled into that way of thinking again. What if father goes back on the agreement and things go back to how they were?
"I beleive I am managing my time adequetly." Gakushuu replied, no longer believing it himself. He was going to be punished again, he could sense it. What would it be this time? Removing nails? Something worse?
"I politely disagree. Now I've written up a pelimary time-table- " The Chairman started, reaching for something in his desk drawer. Gakushuu could hardly hear him at this point though over the blood rushing around his ears. He stood up quickly on instinct, so quickly the chair clattered to the floor, and within a moment he had stepped away, his back against the door.
"Gakushuu?" The Chairman said, his irritation melting away to concern. Gakushuu felt a rush of embarassment; In the Chairman's hand was not a knife, but just some paper's.
"I- I just thought." Gakushuu said, struggling to formulate his reaction without sounding crazy or weak. His breath was starting to slow down. His father approached him slowly, looking conflicted.
"I wasn't going to hurt you, Gakushuu." He reassured.
"I know." Gakushuu said, but his heart was still racing. The Chairman had just been speaking to him the same way he always used to before he did something.
"Gakushuu, I really do want to change our dynamic, but when you still treat me like a monster, it makes it difficult." The Chairman said slowly. 'Do you think this is a choice? I wish I could stop acting like this!' Gakushuu wanted to say back, but instead he said.
"Sorry."
The Chairman sighed, exhasperated. "Just. Sit down, Gakushuu."
Gakushuu did as he was told, pulling the chair up from were it had fallen and sitting down, feeling mortified by his own reaction. What was wrong with him? Why had he turned into such an over-sensitive baby?
"You.. You can carry on with the review now." Gakushuu said after a pause. The Chairman returned to his own seat and hummed in thought.
"I didn't particularly feel like doing this review in the first place." He said, leaning back in his chair. "I think we both know exactly how this year has gone. No need to reiterate it arbitrarily."
"I'm inclined to agree." Gakushuu said honestly. The Chairman went to reach for something else in his desk. Gakushuu didn't flinch this time. He pulled out something totally unexpected- A glass of wine.
"Shall we drink a glass to celebrate the new year and your Birthday?"
Gakushuu stared at him like he had two heads. "But... I'm underage."
"You know always playing in the rules isn't in your best interest." The Chairman said. "Children in Europe start drinking with their families at half their age. You do want to be able to hold your liquor at the European exchange in highschool next year, don't you? Best start practicing."
"If you say so." Gakushuu relented, unable to deny the tiny rush of excitement he felt when his father poured him his glass. Breaking rules together felt like their relationship really was changing. He forget the unkind things the man had said moments earlier.
It tasted more bitter than he was expecting, but the warm feeling that spread to his chest felt pleasent. He could get used to this.
The Chairman was being fastidious when he told Gakushuu he would have to build an alcohol tolerance for the Europeon exchange trip, but seeing the boy fast asleep after just two glasses, alcohol resistance training might be something they would genuinely have to work on. He wondered if he would be able to wake the boy up or if he would have to carry him to bed? For now, Gakuhou was just enjoying the last reminants of his wine.
Gakushuu's reaction earlier confirmed to The Chairman something that he had been secretly fearing. He had given Gakushuu genuine trauma, and the boy could potentially meet the criteria for PTSD. Irreversible Damage?
Seeing those wide and terrified eyes made Gakuhou simultanously want to hug the boy and curse himself for ever causing him such fear, but conversely, he wanted to shake Gakushuu and tell him to toughen up. He was glad the former won today. On an intellectual level, he knew that the best thing he could do was to be gentle and caring, but another part of him thought that was all pansey bull-shit. It made him viscerally angry seeing his own son so vulnerable. He wanted to beat it out of him.
Gakushuu was the only person who could evoke such strong conflicting emotions in Gakuhou. In life, the Chairman often felt like a bodiless arbitrator of will and justice, removed from silly human trapping like emotions and sensations- completely focused, completely rational- but around Gakushuu that seemed impossible.
Gakushuu was the only person around whom he felt like a pathetic, weak, limited human.
Annnd done. Sorry again for the wait, I hope you liked this chapter. It was hard to get that balance between showing the Chairman really is trying to make things better, but also showing that the damage he's caused isn't something that can be cured with a simple 'I'm sorry', and he still has his own issues. Hope I got that across.
Thank you so much for the reviews, they honestly keep me motivated not to give up on this story even though it has been literal years! Please let me know what you thought :D