(2/5)

Willow's scream broke everyone out of their trance.

"Will?!" Buffy said loudly and, forsaking the spell, let go of Giles and Andrew's hands and rushed over to her. "Are you okay?" Buffy asked and threw an arm around her friend.

The smoke was still creeping along the ground and, aside from metallic tang of blood hanging in the air, everything seemed as it was from before the smoke rose.

"We failed," Willow panted.

"Wha-" Buffy started but Giles cut her off by placing his hand on her shoulder.

"We should get home," Giles said wearily.

Buffy looked like she wanted to argue and find out what happened but she just nodded and helped Willow to her feet.

Giles retrieved Xander's pants, shirts, and belt and handed them to Xander. Xander took them and slipped them all on not looking at anyone while Spike slipped off and put on his own clothes. Xander pushed himself up off of the floor and wavered a bit. Spike reached over and steadied the young man with a hand to his back. Xander nodded and walked tiredly over towards the exit.

"What about," yawn, "all of this stuff?" Wood asked.

Giles looked at his watch. "Leave it for now we'll come back later. It's almost sunrise."

Wood looked down at his watch, blinked three times in rapid succession, looked at his watch again, then hit it.

"It's really four thirty in the morning already?" Wood asked astonished. Giles nodded. "We got here at like midnight," Wood added.

"Time flies when you're performing ancient rituals to close a Hellmouth," Willow tittered.

"We didn't win, huh?" Andrew asked.

"No," Willow said and allowed Giles to practically carry her out of the library, "we didn't."

Andrew and Wood followed after them and Buffy stayed behind to walk with Spike.

At the door to the library Buffy put her hand out and stopped Spike. Spike reluctantly looked over at her.

"Where did the blood come from?" Buffy asked.

Spike blinked a couple of times, then reached up and swiped his forehead. The hand came away with blood, then he looked at the tip of his finger but it was unharmed.

"It was part of the ritual," Spike muttered still looking at his healed finger, "blood."

"How did you even know what the ritual was?" Buffy asked.

"I just knew," Spike said and looked into her eyes. "Something inside me just screamed what to do and I obeyed."

"You never obey anything," Buffy said with a laugh.

"This was different," Spike said and glanced back up to where Xander was walking slowly with the rest of their group, "I had to."

"What happened?" Buffy asked bringing Spike's attention back to her. "When the smoke rose up, what happened?"

"Nothing," Spike said quickly and began walking again.

They rode home in silence, they were really too tired to talk but also they didn't want to. Xander, Spike, Buffy, and Giles rode back in Xander's car. Willow, Wood, and Andrew rode back in Giles'.

Willow kept hearing the voice echoing in her head saying that they had failed. It had boomed in her head and then everything went quiet and she just heard the words again and again until she had been forced back to the mortal realm painfully.

Spike kept thinking about Xander and how he'd drained him. But Xander was right there, unscathed and seemingly unharmed, aside from the small cut Spike could see on Xander's finger. It bothered Spike that the idea of Xander dead, by his hand or any other, bothered him. He wondered what had actually happened in the nearly four hours they were doing that spell but the only other person he could ask would be Xander and he didn't want to. Spike wanted to forget everything that happened in that circle and everything he felt. He wanted to go back to despising everything that was Xander Harris but every time Xander looked like he was about to tip over Spike had to physically stop himself from reaching out to make sure Xander was all right.

Buffy wondered what had gone wrong with the spell. Willow had been so sure when she found it that it would work and from then on Willow had gotten less and less sure. Had Willow's insecurities played a part in the failure? But mostly Buffy worried that she was to blame. She had the most strength but Willow never tapped into it. Willow had nearly drained Giles, Wood, and Andrew into a coma but she had yet to tap Buffy's power. Was there something that was wrong with Buffy? Was that why the spell didn't work?

Giles worried about Willow. He remembered the first time he had asked a deity for help and was refused. It was like someone slamming a book shut in a quiet library. The sound reverberated around the confines of your mind until you thought you were going to go insane. You ran and reran everything you did, looking for the reason why you failed even though you knew it would do no good because even if you did find out why, you couldn't try again.

Wood focused solely on driving not trusting himself to diverge his thought process and wind up killing them all. He felt so drained. Willow had nearly sucked him dry. He was happy to be almost back to a warm bed and sleep.

Andrew hummed the Star Wars theme over and over in his head until he fell asleep in the back seat.

Xander thought about what he remembered happening. He remembered everything Spike did, not that Xander'd ask Spike and find this out. He remembered touching Spike, licking Spike, kissing Spike, and finally letting Spike drink from him. From there everything went black until he heard a scream. He had let Spike drink from him, let, and he wasn't afraid, wasn't angry or worried, he was excited. He wanted Spike to drink, wanted to please Spike; he would have split his wrists open if Spike had asked him. Now all Xander wanted was to be at his apartment, where Spike no longer lived, and sleeping in his own bed, where Spike wasn't invited, and sleep. He was so tired.

Giles stopped the car in front of Xander's apartment just as the first few rays of dawn began to break the horizon. Xander heard Spike hiss and duck in the back seat and he threw a 'you've got to be kidding me' look in Giles's direction.

"Xander," Buffy spoke up when Giles didn't, "we'll never reach the house before sun up. Can Spike stay here?"

Xander's first instinct was to say no and he was all set to when he looked into the back seat where Spike was slowly crouching further and further into the floor.

"Yes," Xander said before the word even registered in his brain, "yes, of course."

"Thanks Xander," Buffy said and let Spike out of the car.

Spike leapt out and ran into the building. Buffy got out of the car and hugged Xander before getting into the front seat with Giles. Xander closed the door after her and waved halfheartedly at Giles. Buffy and Giles smiled at him and drove away. Xander stood and waved until they were out of sight.

"Shit," he said suddenly, "they have my car."

Xander sighed and walked into the building where Spike was waiting just inside the door. Xander stopped and looked at the vampire.

"You could have just gone up," Xander said and headed for the elevator.

"I need an invitation from someone who actually lives there," Spike said and followed Xander to the elevator.

Xander sighed and pushed the button for the elevator, it dung and the doors opened wide. Xander stepped inside followed by Spike.

"You're still invited," Xander said softly and leaned against the cool metal inside the elevator.

"Oh," Spike said.

Spike pushed Xander's floor button and the elevator doors closed revealing the shiny metal on the other side that reflected Xander and the compartment around him and nothing else. Spike cast no reflection.

Xander looked at the doors and then at Spike then back at the doors. "You don't reflect," Xander said.

Spike turned his head away from the doors towards Xander. Spike looked into Xander's eyes and a swift smell of raspberries flooded him. Spike turned towards Xander not taking his eyes from the young man's. He took two big steps until he was flush with Xander and Xander was up against the wall of the elevator.

"I reflect there," Spike said letting his non-breath puff across Xander's lips, "in your eyes. I reflect in your eyes."

Xander breathed in the smell of raspberries that he assumed must be because of the raspberry goop that they still had all over them. Spike leaned forward and nipped at Xander's lips lightly. Xander moved to kiss Spike but then pulled his head back and it hit the wall behind him.

"Don't bite," Xander said and this time Spike could smell a tinge of fear that radiated off of Xander.

Spike felt a pang of remorse flash through him. The last time he had touched Xander he had killed him. Wait-

Ding.

Spike blinked and looked around him. He was standing back where he was, not against Xander, and looking into his non-reflection. The doors to the elevator opened and Xander stepped out but Spike didn't move. He looked at Xander, trying to will Xander into telling him that something had just happened with his eyes. Xander just stared at him until the doors started to close and Xander jumped forward to stop them.

"This is the floor we get out on, Spike," Xander said.

Spike blinked again and stepped out of the elevator deliberately brushing against Xander as he did. Xander gave a tiny shudder and let go of the elevator doors. Xander took out his house keys and approached the door; Spike semi cowered in Xander's shadow from the sunlight beginning to stream in through the window at the end of the hall.

The door was pulled open just as Xander pushed his key in and a swarm of girls stood on the other side. Spike gave a loud hiss as the sunlight already pouring into the apartment came beating down on him.

"Shut the blinds!" Xander barked at the girls.

One of them gave a startled 'ep' but someone hurried over and snapped the blinds shut. Xander moved to the side and let Spike rush into the house.

"Did the spell work?" One girl asked and then it was a chaos of sound as all of the girls began speaking at once.

"Let the man get two steps into his house, would yah?" Spike called over the din.

The girls stopped yapping and took a step back from Xander. Xander sighed and stepped into the house then shut the door behind himself.

"No," Xander said, "it didn't work. I'm going to bed."

The girls started to make noises of protest but Spike growled as Xander disappeared into his room.

"Let him sleep," Spike growled, "it's been a long night."

One of the girls scoffed but Spike turned and walked into the closet that used to be his room. There were random girly things around the room and a few sleeping bags piled around that reeked of perfume, which Spike pushed onto the floor and fell unceremoniously onto the bed.