Alright guys, sorry for the lack of chapter but here's a chapter that should get you guys excited… maybe. Read away and review at the end please:)

Disclaimer = I don't own Twilight!!!

Chapter 17

Painful memories

A day went by and I was feeling like my old self again. Carlisle let me go the day after I awoke in the hospital but told me to take it easy. Edward was there every minute of the day, helping me as much as possible. It was getting annoying after a while. But something was bugging me… Christmas was coming in three days and I needed to get a few gifts for all my friends, especially all of the Cullens. School was off since Monday afternoon and I had to go shopping without Alice… It probably hurt her a little. She loved shopping so much.

Around three o'clock in the afternoon, Edward and I were sitting in his room, listening to some music, cuddling into each other. He looked worried for some reason. We had been sitting like this for a while but I had my eyes closed, enjoying the moment that I was with him. They had let me stay in their house ever since we left the hospital. Since the Cullens never sleep, they put a king size bed in a room downstairs. It was an empty room but apparently, it was the guest room. I guess they didn't have many guests at the house… Well, it's understandable, with them being vampires and all.

His stone cold cheek was placed on mine and it felt good. Now that my fever was gone, my skin was its normal heat, not the intensive heat from before. "What are you thinking, love?" Edward asked as he petted my hair softly with his cold hand.

"Nothing much… Just one thing…" I said, still keeping my eyes closed and snuggling into his stone chest.

"Which is?"

I opened my eyes and turned my head to look him in the eyes. I sighed and looked towards the windows in his room. "I can't believe I'm going to say this but… I have to do some last minute Christmas shopping." I said as I got up and stretched a little before heading out the door. I could faintly hear Edward following me but I wanted to do this alone. This was technically his Christmas gift too.

"Would you like me to accompany you?" He asked as he put his arms around my waist, stopping me as I was headed towards the stairs.

"No thanks… But you can drive me there if you want." I said as I tried to go down the stairs but his hold on me was pretty strong.

"I like that option. Shall we go now?" Edward said as he went towards the stairs, leading me with him. He still had a hold on my waist as he walked. When we reached the living room, I saw Alice jumping with joy as we entered. She came up to us and gave me a huge hug.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Jules! You're starting to see my way!" What the heck was she talking about? Why was she thanking me? Then it hit me… I forgot that she could see the future through people's thoughts. She probably saw something that I would buy them. That was so unfair.

"Alice, that's cheating. You can't go into the future to look at what I'm going to buy!" I said as I tried to get away from her embrace. It worked. I started to get my purse and my coat as she followed me with Edward behind her.

"Fine… I won't look anymore. But I can't believe you're getting me such a gift!" She said. She was literally jumping up and down with joy about her vision.

"Alice, how can you know what I'm getting you if I don't even have a clue of what I'm going to buy?" I said as I put my coat on and flung my purse over my shoulder.

"You've already made up your mind about shopping right now so, I just went to see a little bit more into the future."

"Fine… but you don't say a word to anyone!" I said as I headed for the door. Edward grabbed his coat and followed me. "I mean it! I want it to be a surprise!"

"Alright!" She said before I closed the door behind me. The trip to the mall was quite silent. Sometimes, Edward and I made light conversation but not enough to start a very long one. After a while, the Mustang came to a stop and I realized that we had arrived.

As he leaned in to kiss me, I felt a smile grow on my face. We kissed but it was cut short. I could feel the tension building. Edward was controlling himself like he said. He pulled back with his eyes closed and started opening them slowly. "You can call me when you're ready to come back." He said with his crooked smile.

I got out of the car and waved goodbye to Edward as he drove away. As I saw him go away, I made my way towards the stores. It took an hour or two to find the right present for all of them. What I bought each of them cost me most of my money but it was worth it. I had bought for the girls a beautiful diamond necklace with a golden rose pendant, inscribed with golden writing Vous serez toujours dans mon coeur, meaning You will always be in my heart. And it was true. They were being so nice to me that I would always remember them.

As for the guys, I got them each a large bracelet that had the same inscription on the back but on the top had a lion crest on it. I figured it would be nice for them to have something worth it for Christmas. As for Edward, I bought him something much more special… I got him a golden choker that had the same inscription that Jeremy put on my necklace. I love you more than anything in the world but in French. It was also a picture locket. I hoped that they would like it.

As I called Edward so that he could pick me up, I waited for him outside in the snow a few minutes but I heard a voice that I hadn't heard in many years…

"Well, well, well… Look who's here. It's little Juliette Shrike." A childlike manly voice said behind me. I closed my eyes as I turned around to find Benjamin Rogers standing in front of me with his group of gangsters.

"What do you want Ben?" I said as I could hear Edward's Mustang coming from a mile away. At the speed he was going, it wasn't hard to tell.

"Heard you've had some losses in the family lately. I can't believe another one of your siblings died." Ben said as Edward's car came into view.

"Yeah well… it's hard. And I don't need you to bring it up again." I said as Edward's Mustang pulled up in front of me and I went towards it.

"I actually liked Jeremy. It's a shame." Ben said as I started opening the door but Edward's face looked really angry for some reason. "It's too bad you didn't die instead of him." I stopped right there as I was about to get in the car. My eyes grew wide at what he said and it hurt me big time. Ben was always like this. He hated me to the very core and like my siblings. "Or even die instead of Justin. He was a good little kid." I couldn't handle anymore of this. I got inside the Mustang and put on my seatbelt. I kept the bag between my legs as Edward started the car and ran away fast.

I couldn't handle this well. Sure, Ben never liked me but to come up in my face and say that he'd rather want me dead than Jeremy or Justin. That hit me hard. Edward didn't say a word but I know he probably heard Ben thinking what he wanted to say before it even came out of his big mouth. Edward probably didn't want me getting upset over this but I was holding back the tears for him. It would hurt him to see me upset and I was holding that back. As we came closer to the Cullen house, I kept staring out the window. When Edward stopped the car, I got out of it so fast that even Edward was surprised. I took the gifts and fast-walked in the house.

"Jules! How was shopping?" Esme asked as she came towards me. Jasper seemed unwell all of a sudden. Why though? Then it hit me… He could control emotions and mine were probably really bad right now. I felt angry towards Ben for saying that, I felt depressed and sad and many more emotions.

"It was fine…" I said as I took my shoes off and went towards the staircase to lock myself in the guest room. I didn't want to show any emotions to the Cullens. Edward came in the door soon afterwards and as I stopped dead in the stairs, I could hear them speak.

"Edward, what happened?" A lovely voice, Esme probably, said.

"Yeah, what did you tell her?" A childlike voice said, that was surely Emmett.

"I didn't say anything. A boy came up to her and told her that he would have wanted her dead instead of her brother." Edward explained. "She was getting inside the car when that happened. He thought of it a mile away, even before I arrived."

"That's horrible…" A pixie like voice said. Alice.

"Have you tried talking to her?" A serious voice said. I imagined it was Carlisle.

"I was afraid that if I said something, it might have upset her more." Edward said. I started to feel some tears run down my face as I ran up the stairs. I opened the door to 'my room' and locked it behind me. It wouldn't do much good in a house full of vampires but it made me feel good. I put the gifts in the huge closet and decided to just lie on my bed and stare at the white ceiling.

I didn't know why it upset me so much but it really hit home. I opened the locket that Jeremy gave me with our picture in it and started to cry. People loved Jeremy and a lot of people hated me. It was understandable as to why this was affecting me so much. I put the locket back in place and kept staring at the ceiling…

Two days passed by and almost every member of the Cullens came to talk to me about what Ben said. First, it was Alice. Of course… She seemed upset but I told her not to worry about it so much. It didn't matter anymore but apparently, I wasn't the cheerful Jules anymore. She hugged me before leaving and then, it was Emmett's turn. He tried to comfort me but he asked where the gifts were. Oh my god… That's the only reason he came in here! I kicked him out of the bedroom until Christmas was over but it was welcome with a kick in the chins from Alice. I thanked her and Carlisle came in.

It was a little bit harder for Carlisle to talk to me about this kind of thing. He was a doctor, not a shrink. Before he could even speak, I told him that it was nothing to worry about. Sure, it bothered me but I can't let them worry like this. This was pure insanity! I'm betting it was either Alice or Edward's idea. Carlisle didn't stay long but it was long enough for me. I liked Carlisle but I couldn't talk to him like I could with the others. Rosalie didn't bother coming in but I think she was in agreement with Ben. She didn't like me at all and it showed.

Soon after that, Esme came in the room. She seemed as upset as Alice was but she didn't have to. This was my small problem and they didn't have to worry about it so much. She tried to comfort me and it worked a little. She kept saying things like 'You're one of the kindest people that I've ever met' and 'He doesn't know what he's saying'. It reassured me but it wasn't enough to make me forget what he said. Jasper tried but failed miserably. Since he was the newest member of the family, it was hard for him to be around me but at least he tried. It's the thought that counts, I guess…

After all of their talks, Edward was the last to come in. They probably saved the best for last. He came to sit beside me on the bed and gave me a hug.

"I'm so sorry Jules." He said as he kissed me on the cheek.

"What are you apologizing for?" I asked as I lifted my head to face his. Golden met sea blue.

"He hurt you. I will make sure that it never happens again."

"It's nothing Edward. You guys don't need to comfort me. I know that some people liked my brothers better than me. It doesn't matter."

"Brothers?" Oh shoot… I let that out…

"Um… yeah… I had one older and one younger brother…" I said as I sat up and got out of his embrace. "Justin was the first one to go."

"What happened?" He asked as he came up beside me again and tried to read my face but I kept staring at my hands. I didn't want to show any emotions to anyone. Usually, I kept them bottled up. Now, it was hard.

"Justin… he died five years ago… All because of me…" I said but now, a tear fell from my eyes. I wiped it away before Edward could.

"Jules, it couldn't have been your fault." He said as he petted my back. I lifted my head to the ceiling and I sighed. Everyone kept telling me this.

"But Edward, it was! I was the one that had the important event! I was the one who rushed my mother to come to my talent show! I was the one that caused them to get in the accident! I'm the one to blame for my mother's injury and my brother's death!" I was now looking at him. He seemed offended but I was the one that snapped at him. I returned to looking at my hands. Now I was the one shaking. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap."

He embraced me again and kissed my forehead tenderly. "It's alright Jules. Just let it out…"

I stopped his embrace and wanted to tell him the whole story… even if it would hurt me. "Five years ago, it was my school's talent show… I was supposed to perform a guitar song in front of everyone. Something my mother always loved to watch. She said I could go in a band when I was older… Yeah, right… There were three people in front of me before I was supposed to go on. Henry was in the front row, looking all proud that his daughter would be performing. Just before I got on, my dad got a phone call and had to leave the stage. Mom and Justin still didn't show up when I was about to go on stage. I was a little disappointed.

"I got on stage and started playing when my dad arrived in the auditorium all sad and very worried. He gave me signals to finish up quickly so he could talk to me. So, I had to cut most of my performance out. The teachers didn't like that…" I started to feel the tears flowing down now. But… Edward had to know. I couldn't keep secrets from my boyfriend. "I finished and met up with my dad back stage. He told me that my Mom and brother were in a huge car accident… and Mom was badly hurt… but… Justin…" I sobbed now. Edward took my hand in his and started petting it. "He didn't make it… I was crying so much… We rushed to the hospital… to find my Mom in a coma and my brother dead… It was my fault… Henry even blamed me…"

Edward put me in an embrace and I was crying on his shirt. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I was only twelve when Justin died and it was my fault. Even Jeremy died after I saw him. "It wasn't your fault Jules… You did nothing wrong. It could have happened to anyone…" He said as I wiped the tears away and stopped crying. I was only sobbing now.

Suddenly, Edward fell apart from me and put his hands on his head. He tried rubbing his temples but he was in real pain. How could that be? I got off the bed and tried to go towards him. As I got near him, he got up and had a devilish look on his face. His eyes were changed completely and he looked like a killer. They weren't the beautiful golden topaz that I loved so much. They were blood shot red. They were aimed right at me.

"Edward…?" I asked, now fear overpowered all other senses.

"It's time for another Shrike to go down!" His voice changed from angelic to maniacal. It wasn't like him… He ran up at me at vampire speed and took my neck in his hand and brought me to the floor in a loud thump. He squeezed harder and harder every second, cutting my air supply. I tried to get some oxygen back in my lungs but he was squeezing too hard.

"Ed—ward…" I tried saying. I closed my eyes and tried to take his hand off of me but it was too strong. He was on his knees on top of me, trying to really kill me… Just before I was out of air completely, the door flung open and I heard someone gasp.

"Edward! Stop!" A pixie like voice said. She sounded worried. Was that Alice?

I felt someone took Edward off of me… Thank god, I thought as I coughed to get some air back in my lungs. I opened my eyes to see Emmett pinning Edward to the ground, along with Jasper helping him. Esme came behind me and tried to get me to breathe.

"Jules, are you alright?" I heard Esme asked. She tried petting my back to get some air in me but it hurt a little. My neck was very sore as I tried to get up. Esme had her arms out, in case that I fell or couldn't stand up properly.

"Yeah… I'm alright…" I said between coughs. My breathing was uneven but that was to be expected when someone was trying to choke you to death. I saw Edward's face. It had returned to normal. His golden eyes were filled with sadness but I tried to approach him. Alice took my hand and I tried to shake it off.

"It's alright… He's back to normal…" I tried saying. Alice hesitated before letting my hand go. What had made Edward change like that? I approached him slowly and he did the same until we were hands length apart. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment before he embraced me to break the silence.

"I'm so sorry Jules…" He said as he hugged me even tighter. I could have sworn that he wanted to hug me to death too. I hugged him back but my breathing wasn't back to normal yet. Still a little bit heavy.

"It wasn't your fault… I have a feeling… it was because of your scar…" I said as I took his scratched hand and traced his purple scars with his hand. Since vampires normally don't scar, it had to be something more powerful that was making this. The only thing I knew that could do this was black magic. "It's black magic… It changed you… Your eyes were red… Your voice was different…"

"It still does not give me a reason to do what I did. I'm so sorry…" He said as he kissed me tenderly. He seemed to be pained by his actions.

I took his chin in my hand made him face me with all my strength. I looked in his pained eyes and tried to reassure him. "Please don't feel bad about this Edward… It wasn't you… Let's just forget about this… We've got the holidays to think about…" I said but I saw as Emmett was looking around the room, probably looking for the presents. I sighed as he went towards the closet. "Emmett! I swear… if you try to get to those gifts before Christmas… I'll put Esme and Alice on you!" I saw Emmett's face turn into fear. Suddenly, he stopped and stood still. Now, everyone started to get out of the room and Edward stayed next to me for the rest of the day.

I just hoped that nothing like this would happen again… But, we have to get the scratch out before something else goes wrong… I don't want anyone else to suffer…

Alright people, so Jules has another brother. But what will happen now? REVIEW PLEASE!!!

Bellacullenswan17

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