A/N I own nothing Harry Potter owned by JK Rowling and publishers Bloomsbury, Scholastic Press, Allen & Unwin, Raincoast Books and Doctor Who owned by BBC IF I did Ginny would have died in the Chamber and I would have a dalek prop to drive around
A/N 2 Contains bashing of Weasels Dark Meddlesome Plot Twist Dumbledore Helpful Goblins Crazy Robots CRACK FIC!
A/N 3 DON'T LIKE IT DON'T READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile back at Hogwarts …
"Damn, stupid giant. Why can I not find where the portkey leads, unless I did not make it?" Dumbledore muttered, giving up looking in Hagrid's mind for the portkey's destination.
"Crucio!"
Hagrid fell to the floor.
"Hagrid, Hagrid, Hagrid, you pea brained blithering idiot! I own you after I saved you from Azkaban!"
"Master, pleas……." Screamed Hagrid in obvious agonizing pain.
"Yet you let potter escape via a portkey from an unknown person that could ruin my plans and the choice of people he meets!"
Dumbledore lifted the cruse.
"Find him at all cost. Be gone!" Dumbledore commanded.
Hagrid flooed away.
'I sure hope potter does not get to Gringotts or my centuries old plan is fucked. Speaking of fucking I wonder if Snape still gives and receives as he did in school. After all, he was the Slytherin bitch when he was here. Maybe I should go get some of my own but no, I will not he is probably as disease ridden as one of my minions. I have to keep him on his toes after all the threats of ass rape like he does to his students have kept him in line all these years.' Dumbledore thought as his mind wandered.
"Time to visit Madam Dominix," Dumbledore said to himself, before apparating away.
Meanwhile Back at Gringotts...
Four security goblins walked thru the threshold, dragging in Shitforbrains.
"What the fuck did this dragon food do?" Skullcrusher demanded.
"Someone alerted Shitforbrains to someone matching Mr. Potter description was on his way to see you!"Griphook squeaked.
"What was Shitforbrains doing when you arrived?" asked an agitated Skullcrusher.
"Burning Records!" Barked Griphook.
"What? Who else have you talked to at Gringotts," asked Skullcrusher.
"The only goblins I interacted with besides Griphook and you are Skullcrusher and Barfbreath!" I said.
"That's it we are going to Ragnarok!" Screamed Skullcrusher.
"Griphook have the securities grab Barfbreath!"
"Then join us, follow me!" Skullcrusher got up from his desk and led me out the door.
As we journeyed through winding tunnels, I tried to follow where we were but it seemed like we were going by way of the same area repeatedly until we reached a hall with a door at the end. The door seemed to have just mysteriously appeared but did not look like it belonged in a bank but in space. As we continued down the hall, I looked back and I could only see panels of flashing screens and thick wiring. Now I was wondering where we were, Then we approached the set of doors. They doors split as we walked toward them.
"My Lord are you here?" Asked Skullcrusher.
"Yes, I am here," said a metallic wheezing voice. The low lights came up, revealing a humanoid shape connected to all sorts of unearthly medical equipment.
"My Lord, Someone is meddling with the affairs of the bank." said Skullcrusher.
"Give me a minute here, Skullcrusher. Let me look up the records and pull them up on the screen," said the same coughing metallic voice as a heavy thrum as sparks are seen coming out of one piece of equipment in the low lit room.
"That meddlesome Old Bastard and his ilk," screamed an angry metallic goblin voice.
"My Lord….." asked a frightened Skullcrusher.
"Look at the screen," said the agitated metallic voice.
Transfers from # 687 Potter Trust Vault
Deposited: 4,930,000,000,000 galleons
50,000 galleons per month to Dursley Account
Purpose: Care and well being of Harry
Total Deposit to date: 60,350,000 galleons
Starting November 1, 1986 by, A.P.W.B Dumbledore
500,000 galleons per day to Vault #100 Flight of the Bumblebee trust
Purpose: To save the bumblebee from fate
Total Deposit to date: 179,488,750,000 galleons
Starting 1012 by John of Smith
Total Transfers: 179,549,100,000 galleons
Transfers from Vault #100 Flight of the Bumblebee trust
25,000 galleons per month to Vault #1000 Save the Weasel trust
Purpose: For the survival of the weasel throughout time
Total Deposit to date: 294,150,000 galleons
Starting 1015 by Ulric the Bumblebee
10,000 galleons per month to Vault # 420 Order of the Phoenix fund
Purpose: The War Effort
Starting 1914 by A.P.W.B Dumbledore
Total Deposit to Date 9,780,000 galleons
1,500,000 galleons per month to Vault #101 Dumbledore Family Vault
Purpose: Management payment
Starting 1945 by Unknown
Total Deposit to date: 909,000,000 galleons
Total Transfers: 918,780,000 galleons
Total Still Remaining in Vault: 17,540,660,000 galleons
Transfers from Vault #101 Dumbledore Family Vault
500,000 galleons per year to Vault # 666 Tom Marvolo Riddle Trust
Purpose: Bastard Son through Experimentation
Starting 1927 by A.P.W.B Dumbledore
Total Deposit to Date: 34,000,000 galleons
1,000 galleons per week to Vault # 723 Madam Dominix House of Pleasure
Purpose: Pleasure of the flesh
Starting 1946 by A.P.W.B Dumbledore
Total Deposit to Date: 2,574,000 galleons
Total Transfers: 36,574,000 galleons
Total Still Remaining in Vault: 872,426,000 galleons
Transfers from Vault #1000 Save the Weasel trust
1,000 galleons per year to the Vault # 1006 Ron Bilius Weasley Trust
Purpose: Help in the Molding and Control of Harry Potter for the Greater Good
Starting 1985 by A.P.W.B Dumbledore
Total Deposit to Date: 10,000 galleons
5,000 galleons per year to the Vault # 1007 Ginevra Molly Weasley Trust
Purpose: For the right to marry the last Heir of the Potter line
Contents:
One Marriage Contract Stating Son of the House of Merlin Must Marry Daughters of House of Weasel before the fall of the planet of time
Signed
Merlin of Emrys
Aardvark of Weasel
Witness
Ulric the Bumblebee
John of Smith
Date 1016 A.D.
Starting 1986 by A.P.W.B Dumbledore
Total Deposit to Date: 45,000 Galleons
50,000 galleons per month Vault # 1001 Weasley Family Vault
Purpose: For the raising and rearing the minions of the line of the bumbler
Starting 1050 by Weasel the Thief
Total Deposit to Date: 207,300,000 galleons
Total Transfers: 207,355,000 galleons
Total Still Remaining in Vault: 86,795,000 galleons
Total Withdrawal From Potter trust: 4,750,450,899,975 galleons
Grand total taken: 4,929,999,999,975
Total in Vault: 25 galleons
"What...?" my jaw was hanging on the floor looking at the screen.
"So, the Great Bumbler is at it again," said a snickering metallic voice.
I heard the doors behind me open with a hiss. It must have been the security goblins, with Barfbreath being close to the screen I could see a pink tinge moving toward Skullcrusher's side.
"My lord all the traitors in the bank have been gathered" spoke Griphook.
"Take them for the treatment that has happened to all the other of bumblers conspirators," the laughing metallic voice.
"Yes, My Lord" Chanted several voices as Shitforbrains, Barfbreath, and Hewhosmellsofdirtydiapers were dragged away screaming for mercy.
"Now, Griphook go get the pocket watch from Vault #01 then all will be explained," Commanded the metallic voice causing Griphook to scamper off.
A/N 4 WHINING IS NOT TOLERATED You have been WARNED!!!!!!!!!!!REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!