Inside the Doctor's TARDIS, the Clangers were preparing to leave their Small Blue Planet, and take to the time vortex to find the Master, but more importantly Tiny Clanger and their soup. They strapped on extra armour, and called the Soup Dragon, the Baby Soup Dragon, Froglets and the Iron Chicken to help. The Doctor looked on in despair as his TARDIS was crowded out by Pink mice, two Dragons, Orange blobs and a squawking metal chicken, and of course, Jo and he. Sighing, he set the course to follow the Master. The TARDIS materiallised in a spaceship, and green blobs immediately surrounded it, tentacles whipping out, wreathed in glowing electricity...
Inside the TARDIS, Jo was fighting for breath, she was literally being smothered by the large mass of wooly bodies piled on top of her. Yes, Jo had founds the Doctor's sheep field, tucked away behind the swimming pool.
While the Doctor rounded up the sheep with a handy sheepclanger, the others turned on the scanner and watched as the Rutans, for that is what they are for those of you who are total idiotic moronic idiotic morons. The Iron Chicken flew off to find the Doctor, but an unhelpfully placed Doctor meant that it crashed and disintegrated. And still, the Doctor was no-where to be seen. Jo was riding a sheep, which was a bit of a problem on the sheep's part. Jo and the sheep charged into the console room, and began to destroy all humans, which was lucky as there were no Humans. Except Jo. Oh dear.
Anyway, the sheep failed, and the Doctor released them into the wild. The clangers and co. watched as the sheep were fried by the Rutans, and the Doctor issued wooden shields for all, to protect against the electircal currents for all those numpties out there.
The Doctor left the TARDIS, and the rest followed suit. Brandishing their equipment, they waited as Small Clanger negotiated to see whether they could work together.
"You will have to strike a deal with us, Doctor!" the spokesrutan declared to the skies, and to the Doctor.
"Fine, what is it you want, in return for you helping us againt the Master?" the Doctor asked, arms akimbo.
"We want aluminium, it is rare on Ruta 3, and we need it to build our new weapons," the spokesrutan demanded. The Doctor sighed, but smiled inwardly. He entered the TARDIS, and picked up a rod of aluminium he had lying in some drawers. He left, and presented the Rutans with his rod.
"Hmm," the Rutans chorused as they felt his rod, before declaring it suitable.
"I've given you my part, now you must give me your part of the bargain!" the Doctor demanded, and the rutans stuffed the rod somewhere safe and turned to the Doctor.
"Who is this person you need to capture?"
"The Master, my best enemy."
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!" The Master had arrived, and chaos broke out. Tiny Clanger jumped out of the Master's rucksack, and put a giant sock on the Doctor's head. A Sontaran rounded the corner and was immediately fried by the electricity of the Rutans. The ceiling fell in, stopping the Rutans working on the Doctor's rod, and Jo and her sheep ran into the wall, causing the sheep to explode and the Doctor's sock to explode. The Second Doctor ran round the corner and off down the corridor screaming, and then as the sound of a TARDIS faded away, calm was restored to the desperatly morris dancing Rutans.
"The Master!" declared Major Clanger, who dashed into a bank of computers, which miraculously opened, revealing it to be the Master's TARDIS. The Master gaped, as Major Clanger could be heard running around yelling:
"SOUP!" Yes, that's right:
"Soup!" Major Clanger had found the soup, so the Clangers, the Froglets and the Soup Dragons danced around doing the hokey-cokey, and Jo did a paso doble with another sheep.
Yeehaw. At this point I would to a tango with Calla, but she isn't here, and I am not hopelessly insane.
So, with the handy-hand-held-horse powered-hand-operated Vacuum cleaner, they sucked the soup back into the Doctor's TARDIS, watched over a screen by several Sontarans...
"These aliens are removing our fuel supply, Field Marshall!" Lieutenant Styke exclaimed in a Sontaran way, so basically showing no emotion at all.
"I can see this, Lieutenant!" Field Marshall Phylx shouted at his subordinate. "Rally the troops, they must be stopped, and destroyed!"
Evil Music.
"Will someone turn that bloody music off!" Phylx shouted at the ceiling.
Apologetic Evil Music.
"Right, that's it!"
Dying Evil Music.
"?!?!?"
Dead Evil Music.
"Right, Master, it's time to say goodbye!" The Doctor and his clan of oddities packed away the handy-vacuum-cleaner, and turned to troop into the TARDIS, as the Master dived behind a can of gas and hid.
They turned straight into the arms of the Sontarans.
"Aha!" shouted a Sontaran. The others turned on his, and began to pummel him for his unorthodox behaviour, giving the Doctor and his companions a chance to excape.
"Aha!" the unorthodox Sontaran exclaimed, and before any of the Sontarans could beat him up, the Master jumped out of his hidey-hole.
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters! Oh bother!" The Master ran away, hotly pursued by the Sontarans.
Back on planet Earth, in the year 2007, a disgruntled reader stares at the screen in disbelief.
"What?! That was an anti-climatic ending!" The Author pokes his vitual head on to the screen.
"Well, tough. I like anti-climaxes. They make the world go round!" The disgrutled reader punches the Author, before realising that it was in fact the computer screen, and now they need a new monitor.
Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor was dodging prancing aliens as he tried to operate the controls. Major Clanger was foxtrotting with Mother Clanging, Small Clanger was riding on the Time Rotor, and Tiny Clanger had fallen asleep on the hat-stand. The TARDIS landed with a bump on the Small Blue Planet's surface, and the Doctor opened the doors. The Inhabitants trooped out, and the Doctor watched as they tugged the Vat out behind them, dancing and singing all the way.
"At least that adventure's over, Doctor," Jo said, watching the Clangers fondly. They declined their invitation of a meal of Soup and Blue String Pudding, and departed hastily in the TARDIS.
"Well, onwards to Metebelis 3, I think Jo," the Doctor said, activating various controls, and sweeping around the console reading various readings.
"So probably the moon or something like that," Jo said.
"What moon?" asked Tiny Clanger.
Jo stared. The Doctor Fainted.
And the Author faints in relief, having actually completed a story!