Being the Hokage isn't all fun and games. It isn't having glory-even though you get that in bucketfuls by default.
Being a Kage means sending your shinobi out, day after day, knowing the odds of them coming back alive. Being a Kage means that everyone looks up to you, trusts you, places their lives in your hands. Expects you to save them all
Being a Kage means that you have to be able to steel yourself and not get attached too badly.
Sometimes, Sarutobi feels his age. [When there's a new generation of genin and he visits the Academy and they all look up at him-the leader of the Village- with those big, gleaming eyes that are full of excitement and eagerness and hope and he talks about serving the Village and duty and pride and the Great Tree of Konoha and ending with a 'Good Luck, shinobi'].
They eat it up, every time.
He hates himself then. Hates himself and Konoha and all shinobi and the world for one, brief, furious moment. Then he slumps, exhausted, worn down, weary. And he feels all of his 68 years and all his kills and all the deaths on his hands.
Being a Kage means that every time that someone dies, it's your fault.
Being a Kage means being able to detach yourself from the situation and see a subordinate's skills measured against their value, measured against the money that could be made from the mission, measured against the potential political retribution, without imagining the face in death, eyes gazing sightlessly at nothing, staring through a dull sheen of death until they're burned like all shinobi. Without seeing their life [] wither and droop and [occasionally] die.
Sometimes, Sarutobi understand why Orochimaru left.
He always stops thinking that as soon as he catches himself pondering his wayward student [traitormenacebatshitcrazymonster] and sympathizing.
Because even if the Snake Sannin did horriblehorrible things, his original reason [hidden by seals and traps and layers upon layers of steel and wire and traps and seals] was good. [At least, until he was warpedtwistedmutated my a filed trial and his goal was buried under insanity].
Because Orochimaru had been privy to the real work of the Hokage and what it meant to be the leader of a Main Village.
Sometimes, Sarutobi wishes that he could have been brave enough [wonders what would have happened if he had been scared enough] to betray his Village and kill and torture, just to avoid being promoted.
And Sarutobi admires Naruto, he really does. Because Naruto has endured horriblehorrible thins and stays strong through all of them. But every shinobi has, and Naruto hasn't even scratched the surface of what most shinobi have been through.
Neglected he may have been, but being ignored and not having friends was what most shinobi would pick over living through the War again. Sarutobi sometimes wonders if Naruto knows just how lucky he really is, to be living in Konoha at a time of relative peace and prosperity.
But Naruto has no idea of any of this.
And Naruto will never become Hokage. He's just too nice, sympathetic. He's never understood the 25th rule- the one that the Hokage's position exemplifies, takes to extremes.
Naruto is a bleeding heart. And no matter how much Naruto deserves the position [he doesn't, really. Sarutobi tells himself, trying to convince himself of something that both his heart and head agree on], he will never get it.
Sarutobi preaches peace. But he knows that it is an impossible dream. Because he lives as a shinobi, has lived by the kunai and will likely die by the kunai [or poison, but that's just technicalities]. And Shinobi are Killers.
And Naruto is Not.
Sometimes, Sarutobi earns his name. But the God of Shinobi is the God of Shinobi.
And Naruto is just a kid with a fruitless, impossible dream.
Being a Kage means that everyone is a target, and you're the one that's to blame.
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Author's Note:
Dedicated to Maerchen Freunde, a loyal follower and a *reliable* reviewer! XP
Right, well, this is a sort of gift-fic for Maerchen [does that *mean* anything, by the way?], because 1) S/he [I don't know. . ] and I were 'talking' and Maerchen inspired me to update faster! *sniff*
And 2) Because I already wrote this and it was just *banging* around in my skull, refusing to let me work on Traitorous until I typed it out.
Well. . .this started out with the real deal Hokage duties, and then Naruto hijacked it. TT_TT
Oh, I have a spoiler up for Traitorous on my blog. . .
Annnd, I think that that's it.
Oh, right!
1: Like in Traitorous, I am issuing a BLANKET DISCLAIMER! That means that this ENTIRE fic/collection of one-shots [well, actually the images of the characters and to a degree, the culture and habits and geography of their world] do NOT BELONG TO ME!
2: As always, reviews are welcome [**], I might respond, I listen to muy reviewers and I'm inclined to update faster!
Ja!
QuietInsomniac